Within the Cardboard Box
by Solitary Shadow
Summary: A series looking into the everyday happenings in the Smashers' lives. Mostly Snake and Luigi centric. Epilogue: 'Lui si chiama...'. Set seven months after the end of the tournament. What's happened to the two during that time? Fluffy. WtCB is now done.
1. 01: The Visitor

**Disclaimer:** Super Smash Bros. are copyrighted to Nintendo. I own nothing.

**Author's Note:** Hello! It's my first time writing for this fandom. I must say, Melee and Brawl really got me into this fandom. The latter I've been playing for quite a while now.

I'm more of a oneshot/drabble writer, so I've decided to make a small collection as a first installment. Please be kind if I write the characters OOC... it's kind of hard to try to put them in character in SSB, because so many people from so many series are cooped up together. Anyhows, first chapter is with Snake and Luigi.

I love those two. They're my mains.

* * *

Luigi was fed up.

Not the best thing to be in a Monday afternoon, yes, but Luigi was fed up and tired and he knew that much. The man in green winced and rubbed at his shoulder - which was bruised purple from being hit by one of the smashers -, trying to ease the pain. Taking a break from saving Princess Peach was fine. But being just as (if not more) battered every day was not. In a way, taking part in this tournament thing was even worse than trying to save the princess. At least when one was in the Mushroom Kingdom, he and Mario fought against Goombas and Koopa Troopas. All very predictable, easy opponents, and they'd never had too much trouble with them. In here, they fought against people they had either never or seldom seen before. They had no idea of those people's weaknesses - which made the plumbers just more vulnerable.

Mario was fine with it, Luigi noted dully; but his brother was a veteran fighter, simply too experienced to let the new people get him down. Luigi was not a fighting person. His timid nature prevented him from making friends quickly - which was a huge disadvantage - and besides, he would have preferred to stay at home.

Very underwhelming.

The man clad in green sighed and stood up. He didn't feel like brawling, and he definitely didn't want to go back to the hotel suite early. That would just mark him as a loser. He could think of better places to go - his mansion, for instance. But then he remembered that the place would be packed with the smashers; besides, it would be too dangerous to stay there. If the whole mansion collapsed on him, he would be squashed like a pancake. No mistake about that.

But where else could he go? He couldn't go to any other open areas; he would be too well spotted there. There were no secluded areas he could think of. But then, from the depths of his memory, his exhausted mind remembered one place that provided plenty of camouflage and shadows for him to hide in.

Shadow Moses.

The place was filled with sensitive spotlights that would emit a warning siren when someone was detected. But there were some spots that never saw the light; Luigi had only been on the island a few times, but he'd mentally noted those places when he passed by them. If anyone else came in, their presence would be detected, and he would quietly slip away to somewhere else. And if that someone was just as stealthy as he was...

Well...

But then, that event was going to be quite rare. Shadow Moses wasn't an area that was frequented. Deciding to take a chance and get some peace for himself, Luigi turned and began to walk towards the direction of the island. At least he would be left alone there. And if there was someone there who wouldn't attack him and keep him company, so much the better.

* * *

Luigi uneasily wandered into the darkness, occasionally pressing himself close to the walls to try to avoid being detected by the spotlights. When they passed by, the younger Mario brother would move on again. He was beginning to wonder whether coming to Shadow Moses was really a good idea; but then a famillar yellow-orange in a corner caught his eye, and he jogged over to the spot, curious.

It was a plain cardboard box, with the words 'Smash Bros' printed on it.

Luigi stared at the box, hovering over it for a while, before a grin appeared on his face. It was unexpected; but he had found a famillar ally. But soon, the smile faded away; he had found the box, yes, but how to get to it? Knowing what - who - was within that box, the younger Mario brother couldn't just intrude on _him_. The consequences would be disastrous - and he dared not look through the little hole on the side. Luigi briefly considered leaving the box alone in peace and looking for somewhere else in the island to hide, but now that he'd found someone, the man couldn't help but feel a little lonely.

He thought over it for a long while, before he made up his mind. Clearing his throat slightly, he bent down and knocked on the cardboard box three times. It felt odd to knock on cardboard; and he was aware that he'd dented the box slightly, but at least he'd made the occupant clear of his presence.

"Snake?" He asked softly. "Snake? Are you there? May I... may I come in?"

No answer.

The man in green let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding, wiping his brow. So had the owner of this box moved on somewhere else? Solid Snake, after all, was infamous for his ability to conjure an infinite amount of cardboard boxes out of thin air. This box was just one of many. Snake himself could be anywhere by now. Luigi smiled lightly to himself and placed his hands on the presumed-empty cardboard box. He could crawl underneath and see what it was like, and hide away for a while to think; after all, it didn't have an owner, so it was good as his, wasn't it?

But when he lifted up the box, he found himself face to face with the irritated occupant, a cup of instant ramen noodles in his hand.

"You _mind_?" Snake demanded loudly, glaring at the plumber. He dropped his chopsticks into the ramen cup, and set it down, crossing his arms and scowling at Luigi. "I'm trying to eat, for God's sake! Can't people leave others to enjoy a meal on their own? Always looking for a fight, eh, in this place, I assume?" His hand was already closing on a grenade, finger curled over the safety pin.

"No... I'm... I'm sorry!" Luigi cried, dropping the box (which melted into thin air) and flinching away. "I'm not... I'm not looking for a fight, Snake! I knocked! I thought this thing was empty-"

"Rule number one: Don't touch the box, regardless of whether you think it's empty or not." Snake replied, irritated, but loosened his hold on the grenade. "What makes you think you can just lift up this thing and claim it for your own, eh? You're just like that pokemon, you are. Lucario, was it?"

Before Luigi could attempt a reply, a loud thudding noise began to echo from the hallway, making the entire place shake. Snake looked around, alert yet calm, while Luigi just looked alarmed.

"Some of the others... they're coming in to brawl!" He cried, and looked around frantically. But the spotlights had centered onto the arena that Snake and he was on, and he had no hope of going undetected. And he really, really didn't want to brawl against anyone right now. "Oh no... we're trapped! What are we going to do?"

"Get _in_ here," Snake shouted over the din, pulling out a new cardboard box from seemingly nowhere. "Get _in_ here, for God's sake, and don't just _stand_ there like a fool!"

Right now, the green-clad plumber really had no choice. He obdiently dived under the box with Snake, who instantly grabbed him and curled up as tightly as possible, letting them both hide; there was a small hole at the side of the box, and although they were rather squashed together, Luigi could still breathe and shift around.

"Any idea who's out there?"

"No."

"Tch." Snake was glowering at him through the darkness, and the plumber lowered his gaze, nervous. The mercenary noticed and let out another low 'hmph' - there was another person who was nervous as hell in his presence. Snake was fine with intimidating his opponents, but Luigi was no opponent; in fact, he looked more like he was trying to back out of brawling. The soldier assumed that that was why he was in Shadow Moses at the first place. The plumber looked quite miserable, and as much as he didn't like admitting it, Snake wanted to calm him down and just talk to him for a while.

Nothing better to do, was there? They would be stuck in the box for a while anyway.

At least, that was his excuse.

"Why are you in Shadow Moses anyway? You could have been caught out by the spotlights at any time."

"I know." Luigi replied in a small voice. Snake frowned. Not a satisfactory enough answer. He placed one hand under the man's chin and lifted his face up slightly, gazing hard into his eyes.

"So why come here?" He repeated his question, still looking into the other's eyes. Luigi gulped; something about Snake told him that the soldier was highly experienced with interrogating people for information. If he were to survive the next half-an-hour or so with him, he would have to co-operate.

"I wanted to get some peace away from brawling. All the other places are packed."

Snake nodded - his assumptions were correct - but didn't release his hold on the man. "So you were hiding away from the smashers?"

Luigi winced at the blunt tone of the soldier. "...Yeah. You can call it that." He sighed. "I'm kind of sick of brawling. I've done the thing twice through already in the past years. This time it's just gotten too tiring. I mean... I enjoy talking with people... but I don't like fighting." As if on cue, a loud scream - one that suspiciously sounded like Meta Knight's - rang through the air, and a crash followed. The plumber sighed and raised an eyebrow, giving Snake a 'see what I mean?' kind of look.

"Pacifist?" Snake asked, getting a small, reluctant nod in the process. "Your brother's fine with it, though."

"Mario? He's fine with everything. He's used to fighting with others. Besides..." Luigi glanced down nervously and then back up at the soldier. "...he's strong enough. I'm nowhere near his standard." Snake dropped his chin and leaned back on the box, looking vaguely surprised. Now this wasn't what he'd been expecting. "I'm not the important one... I'm just Mario's kid brother. That's all."

The soldier said nothing, but stared at the man in green for a while. He could hear swords clashing outside, but he wasn't really interested at the brawl at the moment.

"That's not how I see you." He finally said. "When you pulled a Negative Zone on me yesterday I was completely bowled over at how strong you were. You've got a lot of potential. Why not make use of it? I've never seen skills like those before."

"Heh." Luigi smiled tiredly. "You're just flattering me. Biased, you are. You've never seen me go down."

"Doesn't mean I'm not telling the truth." Snake replied calmly, silencing the younger Mario brother. Luigi seemed a little more relaxed, although he wasn't any less pessimistic; but this wasn't too bad for Snake, who usually wasn't too good with people. And he could deal with pessimism easily.

"Snake?"

"Hmm?"

"Why are _you_ here? Didn't you want to brawl?"

For the first time, a hint of fatigue appeared in the mercenary's eyes. "Lunch break. That stupid pink marshmallow - Jig-whatever - pushed me off Halberd. Hell if I'm going back there ever again. I got fed up and kind of walked out during the brawl... I'm safest in Shadow Moses, so that's why I'm here."

"Lunch? Oh... I just remembered." Luigi looked at him with a somewhat sheepish expression, and the mercenary fought back an urge to laugh. "Your lunch... I ruined it, didn't I? I'm so sorry... you aren't going to stick your chopsticks in my eye or anything, _are_ you?"

Snake shook his head, chuckling. "Forget it. I'll have a good dinner at the hotel tonight. And no, I'm not going to stick my chopsticks in your eyes." His expression turned mock-stern. "But pull the box thing on me again and I'll be sticking more than just chopsticks in your body."

Luigi made a face at the mock threat/innuendo. "Eww..."

"Only joking."

"I don't find it funny." Luigi huffed, pouting a little, but his posture had definitely relaxed more, and he shifted around comfortably to fit his body in the box. "Snake? Can I sit at your table at dinner? It's just that - I feel kind of out of place with the others when I'm sitting with them-"

"I don't usually eat with people at all." Snake said blandly, and lightly twirled the end of his bandanna around his fingers. "But I won't mind you. In fact... yeah, you can. I always sit at a table for two, so you'll be all right." Another loud crash sounded outside, but they were no longer paying attention.

"Really? Thanks!" Luigi smiled brightly at him, and he found himself gazing at the younger Mario brother with some fascination. This man's mood seemed to change every three minutes - just two minutes ago he had been depressed and brooding, and yet here he was now, almost irrationally cheerful.

"Does it mean that much to you?" A nod. "No problem. I expect us to be talking about the various ways to kick people's ass over dinner. That, and what Pikmin taste like."

Luigi said nothing, but he sighed, rolling his eyes. "That'll really put me off dinner. Great one." He was stopped from saying anything else, as he yawned; he stretched his shoulders as much as he could, a dozy light entering his eyes.

"You look unrested." Snake said quietly, concern in his voice. "Haven't you been sleeping well?"

"Not really." Luigi gave a tired smile, but then suddenly flopped down onto the mercenary, resting his head against his chest. "...Thanks for reminding me about sleep, by the way... I'm so tired..."

"H-hey! Get off-"

"Oh, belt up a little, Snake." Luigi replied, sounding somewhat cross, and the soldier was shocked into silence. "I just want a place to sleep and relax. It's why I came here in the first place. It's not like I'll murder you if I'm asleep, is it?"

Snake said nothing for a while, but merely looked worriedly at the younger Mario brother. "Mario is going to _kill_ me," He finally said. "...if he finds out that you're with me here."

"Don't matter..." Luigi mumbled, his eyes already closed. "He won't even notice that I'm gone... it's not like anyone cares..." And then suddenly he was asleep, clinging tightly onto the soldier's body, nuzzling softly into his chest. His own chest heaved occasionally as he exhaled and inhaled, but other than that he made no sound as he slept.

Snake stared at the other for a while before groaning and sinking down. There was no place to set him aside, as they were still stuck inside the box, and Snake couldn't exactly just sit there with no camouflage until Luigi woke up. "Great..." He muttered to himself, but nonetheless he reached down with a gentle hand and took off the other's hat, setting it down on the floor, and stroked his light brown hair. Luigi was so warm and soft against him; it had been a while since he had felt such things, and he wasn't really about to abandon the feeling. Perhaps he would just let the younger Mario brother stay with him.

The brawl had ended outside; it was all quiet, and the only sounds audible were that of the two's breathing.

"I'll wake you up when it's dinnertime..." Snake muttered, and wrapped his own arms around the slender form above him, closing his eyes.

He could do with some rest, too.


	2. 02: The Great Issue of Food

**Author's Note:** This is a somewhat-continuation of the previous story. Snake debates the great issue of edible Smashers with Luigi, all the while eating lunch and being stuck in the cardboard box. All at once.

I could really use some reviews, people... (hint hint)

* * *

"Hey." Luigi knocked on the box three times, glancing into the hole at the side. "Snake? It's me, Luigi. Can I come in?"

"Be my guest." The reply came, and the younger Mario brother lifted up the cardboard box, settling down next to Solid Snake and placing the item over their heads again. Snake didn't seem particualrly affected by this strange addition to his camouflage, and merely continued eating... whatever he was eating.

"Did I interrupt your lunch break again?"

"Yes."

Luigi frowned. "Do you want me to go, then?"

"No, stay." Snake mumbled through a mouthful of noodles. "I've got ramen here. I'll be done in a few minutes. Besides, if you aren't looking for a brawl, I suggest you stay here. Four others are brawling at three o'clock, and they're more than happy to kick off a fifth."

The younger Mario broher sighed and leaned back on the sides of the box. He could see outside this time, and he stared blankly at the large, empty space sprawling out in front of them. Twice the spotlights swept over the box, and he flinched every time; even though he was safe here, with Snake, he couldn't help being nervous.

"Sensitive soul, eh? You just can't seem to sit still." Snake paused eating and glanced at Luigi. "Are you afraid of me?"

"What?" Luigi turned around, wide-eyed, and shook his head. "N-no! It was just that... the spotlights..."

"Uh-huh." Snake replied nonchalantly, and picked up his chopsticks again. "You don't have to pretend, you know. It's just so obvious in the way you act around all of us. You're just... permanently nervous, should I say? I don't-" He was cut off by a loud rumble from outside, which began to grow louder and fill the entire island. A series of loud cries and indistinguishable noises could be heard amongst the chaos. "Oh man, here we go again..."

Luigi glanced out of the hole in the box. King Dedede, Olimar, Kirby and Yoshi were outside, already beginning to brawl with each other in the dark arena.

"So who's out there?" Luigi jumped slightly, and gazed quickly up at the other, who was looking down at him with a mixture of annoyance and something else (amusement?) in his expression. "Sounds like nothing even vaguely resembling humans."

"There's King Dedede... Captain Olimar-" Luigi momentarily stopped talking, uttering a low 'ooh' as the little Captain hurled bunches of Pikmin across the arena. "Man, that's gonna hurt..."

"What happened?"

"Pikmin sacrifice."

The mercenary chuckled darkly. "I fell victim to that once. It sure hurts to get pinched by those little sprouts. Where are they all from, anyway? They don't look like anything we're accustomed to."

"I'm not sure myself, actually." Luigi admitted, shifting slightly to get a better look outside. The Pikmin had latched onto King Dedede and Yoshi, and were mercilessly trying to pull them apart, ignoring the yells from the two. "The Captain never says anything much. The Pikmin obey only him and him alone... so we'll never know."

Snake let out a low 'hmph', and leaned back on the sides of the box with ease. "Talking about those sprouts, by the way, can you actually eat them?"

Luigi blinked, looking up at the mercenary. "Eat... them? Where did you get that idea from?"

"Mei Ling - she's an associate of mine - told me through this when I fought against him." Snake pulled out a small radio and showed Luigi. "Apparently those Pikmin slave themselves away for Olimar and then they get eaten. Rather cruel and unfair, isn't it? Although I myself kind of wonder what they taste like."

"Uh..." The younger Mario brother chuckled nervously, shaking his head. "I don't think the Captain _eats_ them, although they do disappear even when they're not fighting... and besides he can pluck out hundreds of those creatures. I'm pretty sure that being eaten is an exaggeration."

"Hmph." Snake put away the radio and crossed his arms as best as he could, poking Luigi on the back unceremoniously. The latter winced and pressed himself flat against the wall. "So who else is out there apart from King Dedede and Olimar?"

"There's Kirby... and Yoshi. That's about it."

"No more humans, huh?" Snake laughed. "I don't know very much about them, I must admit. It's not as if I can speak their language. I should think the language barrier forces us apart."

"Uh-huh."

"And because of that, I've got another question for you." The mercenary looked at the man in green with a piercing gaze, making the latter flinch slightly. "You don't happen to eat Yoshis back where you came from, do you?"

"Eat a Yoshi? That's disgusting!" Luigi pulled a face, disgusted. "Is eating all you think about, Snake? Honestly! You can't _eat_ a Yoshi! Whoever told you that?"

Snake held up his hands. "Whoa, just curious! I'm a soldier, you know. And just to remind you, I was getting along perfectly fine with my meal for the day when _you_-" Here he gazed pointedly at the plumber. "-so rudely interrupted my privacy!" Luigi seemed rather cowed at this, and looked away from the other man. Snake laughed once more, and slapped the other on the back. "So what do you use the Yoshis for?"

Luigi said nothing, still looking rather nervous. Snake let out a low 'hmph' - he didn't like to see the younger Mario brother so uneasy in his presence - and he leaned down, his breath tickling the other's neck. "Whatever am I supposed to _do_ if you do not respond to verbal stimulation? Rheotorical question." He grinned.

The other whimpered lightly, looking as if he wanted to run away from the mercenary. But that was out of the question, of course, and Snake merely laughed at the sight. "Come on then, enlighten me. We're going to be here for a while, and besides I rather am beginning to enjoy your company."

"Really?" Luigi looked up, the fear in them suddenly gone; Snake's last statement had appeared to have an instant effect on the plumber.

"Really." The soldier leaned back once more on the sides of the box. "I can't see out like this, you know. You'll have to tell me."

The younger Mario brother thought for a second. "We don't use Yoshis - they're our friends. They occasionally help us with some tasks and we can ride along on them - but we mostly leave each other in peace." Luigi looked out of the hole in the box again, now watching Kirby attempting to inhale his opponents. "There's a Yoshi back home who can talk in our language and translate Yoshi language for us... I miss him. He's really gentle."

"So you're friends with the Yoshis? Now that's something Otacon failed to tell me." Snake replied, bemused. Luigi blinked, tilting his head to one side, and somehow the soldier felt a sense of warmth deep down his heart; the younger Mario brother was innocent and even rather childish at times. Snake knew that their personalities clashed, that they were very different, but he found himself not minding at all. In a way Luigi reminded him of Otacon - he was curious, he was timid, and most of all, that green-and-blue colour scheme he wore was so _nerdy_.

"Otacon?" Luigi asked. "Who's he?"

"A close friend and associate of mine." Snake replied. "I talk to him often. He's a geek, he is. Sure knows his stuff." He glanced at the younger Mario brother with a smile. The other returned the smile, and Snake felt a lot more happier; at least Luigi wasn't scared to death of him anymore, and talking would be easier. He had never liked trying to make conversation with nervous people, and at first talking with the younger Mario brother had felt very awkward. "So what do you _do_ with a Yoshi's body when it kicks the bucket?"

"Eww..." Luigi moaned, looking as if he might be sick. "...That wasn't a necessary question, you know that?" Snake merely laughed in response, and the younger Mario brother felt his tension melt away. Snake really wasn't too bad. Slightly homicidal, yes, and definitely not the most social person in the world, but then neither was Luigi. Apart from the mercenary's habit of trying to eat every single animal he got his hands on, he was... nice.

"Shall I be the first person to try out a Yoshi dinner? That'll be worth seeing, no?"

"No." Luigi said simply. "Get back to eating your ramen, Snake. Just don't say anything." He paused. "Anything else you want to know? Kirby, for instance?"

"Ah, the pink marshmallow that inhales things?" Snake shook his head. "Nah. I must admit I haven't listened to Otacon rambling on about him on the codec very closely, but I'll know soon enough when I fight the guy."

Luigi huffed lightly, but not in a cross way. "Just you wait until he cooks you in his cauldron. Then you might decide to reconsider your decision."

"If you say so." The soldier said blandly. "Is anyone dead yet?"

Luigi pulled a face. "Ugh, Snake... do you always have to be so _ghastly_?"

"I try." Snake chuckled. The other only shuddered and peeked out of the box again.

"King Dedede's killed off a bunch of Pikmin... if that counts... oh, no, the Captain's just plucking out another few. No one's dead." Luigi shifted around a little, not really interested in the battle anymore. "Move over, Snake, will you?" The soldier complied and moved over slightly so they were more comfortable. The box was quite small after all, yes, so the most comfortable position they could get into was with Snake leaning against the sides and Luigi lying on top of him. They were pressed quite close, but neither of them were complaining. " So is there anything else you haven't been told about? How about the King?"

"That hammer says it all for him." Snake replied simply, making the plumber in green chuckle. "But back to the point, if I can't get hold of a Yoshi to eat, I'll be trying out some Pikmin. They're unlimited, aren't they?"

Luigi looked at him, horrified. "But... but... you can't eat them! They're so cute! They're not just sprouts, you know! Olimar's going to be so _mad_ at you..."

"Nah, he won't miss a few." Snake chuckled, and set down the ramen cup. "You just wait. I'll get hold of Pikmin and try them out in my suite sometime. I'll let you have a taste when I'm done, because you're 'special'."

The plumber shuddered. "I'll... I'll pass. Seriously though, Snake... _ugh_."

The mercenary just grinned.


	3. 03: Stir Fry

**Author's Note:** This chapter is perhaps not for the Pikmin lover. Or Sonic lovers. Or Wario lovers.

You'll see why.

No Pikmin was harmed during the writing of this chapter. Because Olimar can pluck out infinite amounts of them.

* * *

It was evening, and the Smashers left in the field were finishing their final brawl for the day. Everyone was tired, covered with sweat and dirt; but yet no one gave up, and the seemingly neverending brawl carried on and on as the minutes passed by.

Captain Olimar took a deep breath, hopping out of the way as Meta Knight sliced his sword just below him. His beloved Pikmin followed his jump; he grabbed a yellow one by its stalk and threw it at the masked knight, following suit with a blue and a purple one. They latched on to him immediately, beating at him with their fists and heads - Meta Knight writhed about, a loud cry escaping him at the surprising strength of the Pikmin. Olimar took his chance and threw a white and red Pikmin on to Captain Falcon, who also flailed about helplessly as the poisonous Pikmin began to do its work.

It was a cruel world.

Olimar blew his whistle, and instantly the Pikmin fell off his opponents. He knelt down while his opponents were stunned, plucking a few more Pikmin out to aid him; they obdiently went behind him, ready for their leader's command. The Captain looked up...

...and his eyes widened. Where were the other Pikmin?

The yellow, red, blue, purple and white Pikmin were gone without a trace. But hadn't they been attacking Meta Knight and Captain Falcon just seconds ago? And he'd definitely called them back...

But he had no time to think, as his opponents recovered and charged at him. Pikmin went missing and died all the time, and as mystified he was over the whole situation, he couldn't say that he was very surprised if the five were wiped out. Shrugging, he jumped up and caught a nearby Smash Ball, sending the others chasing after it also.

In the ensuing chaos, no one noticed a cardboard box with legs crawling slowly away from the whole scene.

* * *

"I have them now! My disguise was perfect!" Solid Snake laughed, as he threw off the box and broke into a run. In his hand he held a large sack. "This was so easy... I can't wait until I taste some! Speaking of which, I actually am quite hungry..." As if on cue, the sack suddenly wriggled. The mercenary simply shook it a little, and the sack held limp again. For the first time in days he was actually ectastic - he had finally gotten a chance to fulfill his curiosities about edible Smashers. Also waiting for him at his suite was a large Yoshi egg - he had simply nicked the thing during the midday brawl, and had managed to walk out with it unscathed. It was the next best thing to eating a Yoshi, he supposed, and he was happy enough with that.

He walked into the hotel the Smashers were staying in, and immediately went to the kitchen. "Master Hand. Oh, Master Hand."

"What?" The large white hand wriggled over to him, sounding irritated. "Ah, Snake. What is it that you want?"

"May I have permission to use the little side kitchen?" The soldier pointed. Master Hand said nothing for a while.

"But it's so small there. What do you plan to cook anyway?"

"Just a small meal or so. I do not feel like eating a large meal tonight. I shall carry it up to my suite." Snake couldn't help but smile at what he would be cooking. "So do I have your permission?"

"Very well, as you ask so nicely..." The Master Hand gave his approval. "And now, please excuse me... dining arrangements..." With that, he turned and drifted away. The mercenary, by this time, was over the moon. This was going so well!

But first, he would need the fetch the egg from his suite. He walked over to the lift and got on, hugging the sack tightly to him. When he reached his floor, he walked down the corridor to his suite and swiped the keycard on the slit. The door opened, and he dashed inside, getting the egg from its hiding place and tucking it under his arm.

"There now." He cooed to the egg, and began making his way back. The egg was really quite large, he remarked; the only reason that he wasn't being marked as suspicious was that nobody cared about Yoshi eggs, and he'd kind of slipped out before the brawl was truly over, so that nobody noticed him carrying the egg back. The thing was quite heavy too, but he wasn't having too much problems with that. When he arrived back at the kitchen, he gently set the egg down on the counter and then picked up the sack again. The kitchen was small, but had all the essentials equipped; there was a small table in one corner, and a fridge in the other corner, along with a counter, cooker and cupboard. All perfect.

He opened the sack and tipped the contents out onto a large, deep bowl. Five pairs of beady eyes stared at him with disgust, and he grinned.

"Why, _hello_ there." Snake's eyes were glinting dangerously, his grin unusually wide. "You're about to have some fun with me, my loyal minions."

The Pikmin's glare deepened.

"Or Olimar's loyal minions, even."

At the sound of their leader's name, the Pikmin seemed to brighten a little. The white one flipped its leaf to the side, staring blankly at this man just the way they always did. Snake merely grinned and snatched up the white creature, who squeaked and began thrashing about.

"You were the first to show a reaction, so I'll give you the honour of being eaten first." The mercenary poked the creature in the belly. "And I'll give you a choice too. What would you want to be in? A stew? Or boiled and eaten with a sauce? I heard of bamboo shoots being eaten in that way... and you're sprouts, aren't you, so that should serve fine for both of us."

The white creature replied with another squeak, still struggling.

"No? Then I'll tell you what I'll have you in; a stir-fry! Vegetables will always be vegetables!" He cackled (rather unlike his usual self) and dropped the white Pikmin back into the bowl. Ignoring the squeaky cries of the Pikmin attempting to leap out of the deep bowl - the yellow one kept on slipping on the sides - he turned to the fridge in the corner and opened the door.

"Mm-hmm... what have we here? A tomato... I'll pass on that... some wild lettuce, carrots... onions..." He put the last three items on the counter as he spoke. "And... soy sauce? Yeah, I'll definitely have that! Anything else, I wonder?"

After digging through the fridge (discarding a packet of chocolate sprinkles with the name 'Meta Knight' on it, plus a disgustingly cute pink iced bun), Snake had all the ingredients for the perfect stir-fry. He fished out a wok and heated up some sesame oil in there in no time, all the while laughing sadistically to himself. The Pikmin were beginning to wail, now apparently frightened by the fate that awaited them, but the mercenary cared not a jot.

"All in good time, I can assure you." He cooed to the Pikmin, an oddly satanic look in his eyes as he began to slice the vegetables lengthwise and throw them into the wok. The carrots were sliced and thrown in first, then the onions, and then the spring onions and lettuce; he added in a dash of soy sauce to flavour the mixture while the vegetables sizzled. "All in good time."

Despite his words that he would have a small meal, Snake was not one to miss out on a tempting offer. Instead of just taking the stir fry up to his suite, he would go ahead and make himself comfortable - and eat the meal in the kitchen. The table was big enough for one, and nobody was going to come in here, so why not? For a nice hot meal, he would need rice. He remembered that there was a packet in the cupboard - 'All good kitchens have rice', he thought wryly - and fetched it, looking at the use-by date. Still fresh.

He paused momentarily to turn the heat down on the stir-fry, and got out another saucepan, filling it with water and pouring one serving of rice into it. Closing the lid, he couldn't help but grin.

He was getting good at feeding himself.

"Maybe I should go on Iron Chef." He chuckled, and then turned to the frightened Pikmin, his insane grin still in place. He reached out and grabbed the white Pikmin by its stalk, pulling it out of the bowl, and held it down on the counter. "Now am I going to slice you lengthwise or what? But then, if I do that, it might ruin the taste of the stir-fry..." He chuckled and picked the Pikmin up again. "Nah, I'll just have you in whole. I know what's right for me."

As a merciful act, he picked up a rolling pin in one hand and gently tapped the side of the creature's head with it, knowing that the pressure was enough to knock it unconscious. His assumptions were proved to be correct, and the creature fell limp with a faint squeak; without any more hesitation, Snake tossed the Pikmin into the wok.

"Hahahahaha! Ahahahaha!" Snake threw his head back and laughed at the sizzling sound that followed, the wails and cries of the four leftover Pikmin sounding like music to his ears. "I've done it! Solid Snake has finally done it! I shall be the first human in history to ever try a Pikmin stir-fry!" He cackled again. "And by God, doesn't that smell delicious!"

Still laughing to himself, he finally faced the Yoshi egg, wondering what to do with it. The Pikmin stir-fry would go well. Now what for the egg? He knew nothing about Yoshi eggs. But he had to assume that it was just like a normal one, with a yolk and whites surrounding it - what else?

Anyway, what could he make with it?

Egg fried rice popped into his mind. But with the sheer size of the thing, he knew that the rice he'd put in would never cover the total amount of egg yolk and whites combined. But then, he could use half in the rice and use half to make scrambled eggs... or fried egg... whatever. The possibilities were endless.

Knowing that the egg was simply too big to crack in a bowl, he set a large saucepan down on the floor and whacked the shell with the rolling pin. The shell cracked but did not budge further; he simply tapped the crack again, and this time the egg cracked into two.

But unlike a normal egg, nothing fell out but something that looked like a very contorted green object. The object shook and began to untangle itself, arms and legs flailing all over, and it was sight to behold; Snake simply stared, not knowing what to do. But the object was soon completely untangled, and it no longer looked like a twisted green ball.

In fact, it looked like a certain green plumber that he knew.

"Hey, Snake." Luigi grinned weakly, splayed out on the floor. "Help me out a bit here, will you?"

"What... the hell?" The soldier stammered, but he reached out a hand to help the younger Mario brother to his feet. "How the hell did you get in there?"

"Yoshi swallowed me whole and trapped me during the afternoon brawl." The green-clad man explained, still looking rather dazed. "...And I wondered why I wasn't being let out sooner... It's so cramped in there. You took the egg, didn't you?"

"Yes... to consume..."

Luigi sighed and rolled his eyes. "But Yoshi eggs don't contain anything except for your opponents now. You should have known that."

"...But there goes my dinner, then." Snake replied sulkily.

"...How is that _my_ fault?"

"It is, because you were in the egg!" The mercenary shot back. "Maybe I'll just have to eat you instead-" He soon stopped talking as the implications of what he'd said dawned on both of them. Luigi looked shaken, but managed a small nervous laugh.

"Well... I'm glad you find me_ that _attractive, Snake-"

"Oh, shut up!" Snake barked, and turned to the wok. "Never mind. I still have the stir-fry. That should be fine."

"A stir-fry, huh?" Luigi sounded uninterested and even mildly disappointed. "So you have food apart from the egg?"

"Yes. And a great one too." The mercenary chuckled, turning to the younger Mario brother. "I finally managed to get hold of some Pikmin, would you believe? Oh, I can't wait to taste some!"

Luigi hit the roof.

"You _what_?" He screamed, pushing Snake out of the way to peer inside the bowl, where four Pikmin looked at him with frightened eyes. "Oh my God, Snake! What have you done? What in the world have you _done_? You've driven Olimar demented today!"

"He won't miss five." The soldier turned the heat off the cooker, brandishing the wok in front of Luigi. "Behold the Pikmin stir-fry!"

Luigi looked.

And looked up at Snake again.

"Where is the Pikmin, then?"

"What?" The mercenary glanced down at the wok. Sure enough, the Pikmin was no longer amongst the vegetables; it had disappeared into thin air. He stared, unable to comprehend what had happened. "How the... what happened?"

"Are you sure you even put the Pikmin in?"

"Yes, I did!" Snake prodded at the stir-fry with a wooden spoon. Instantly, the vegetables seemed to move on their own (tremble?) and the two watched in dumbstruck silence as a pale white Pikmin spirit floated and drifted up the kitchen chimney, eventually fading out of sight.

"...Ah." Luigi finally spoke. "Yes... I do recall that that tends to happen when you kill those creatures off... I mean, they can't have hundreds of those bodies lying around in the battlefield, can they? Olimar can pluck out that one now. They just go back to wherever he is when they're killed off."

"But... but..." Snake, for the first time, looked truly speechless. "The... Pikmin! So does that mean I'll never taste it?"

"...Nah."

"But the flavour!" He seemed to be almost begging Luigi for a positive answer now, and he set the wok down on the cooker with a thud. "Tell me that the flavour is still there!"

The plumber hesitated. "Um... no reason why it shouldn't still have that... Pikmin... flavour with it. It's only the body that's gone." He peered suspiciously into the wok. "Did you get five Pikmin with one of each colour?"

"Yep. I used white with this one." Looking a bit more cheerful, Snake reached for a pair of chopsticks and picked up a lettuce leaf. "I'll just have a taste, then-"

Luigi's eyes widened, and he flew towards the other man, knocking the chopsticks out of his hand. "Stop it! Are you crazy? You can't _eat_ that!" He picked up the wok and pushed it away. "Do you know anything about Pikmin at all?"

"What... hey!" Snake protested. "What more is there to learn? I'm starving! Just let me have a taste, I'm sure it can't be that bad..."

"Snake..." Luigi looked at him with an unfathomable expression. He looked pitying, almost, and his eyes held sympathy; but somehow it looked more like he was trying not to laugh. "...Snake, white Pikmin are poisonous. Boiling or frying doesn't cover it. It'll give you cramps for the whole day."

This statement appeared to shock the mercenary; he glanced at the stir-fry, and then at the Pikmin again. "But... the other four aren't poisonous! How did that happen? Did Olimar breed a mutant Pikmin or something?"

"No. But have you been attacked by Pikmin before?"

"Yeah..."

"The white ones are rare. I'm not surprised that you didn't know about the poison. Not a lot of Smashers do." Luigi reached down and gently picked out the blue Pikmin, making the creature flinch. "I won't hurt you." He smiled softly, and lightly patted its head. Slowly, the Pikmin relaxed, although it still looked at him with some suspiscion. "Snake, I highly recommend you don't go around cooking any more of them. I'll show you why."

Luigi, without further ado, filled up the sink partially and dropped the blue creature in there. Instantly, it chirped and began to swim around with great gusto. "Blue Pikmin can't drown, so you can't make it into a stew or anything. It would have escaped by then. And you can't boil or fry the red one, because it's resistant to fire." He picked out the Pikmin again and drained the sink. "And with both combined, I highly doubt you'll get anywhere with the cooking."

"What about the yellow?"

The plumber tossed the yellow one into the now-empty sink, only to have the creature jump up again. "They can jump like nobody's business, Snake. I'm surprised it hasn't run away already."

The soldier looked unconvinced, and crossed his arms. "Right, but you haven't convinced me quite yet. You still haven't explained the purple."

"One purple Pikmin is as heavy as twenty normal ones. You _really_ want that in your food?"

"Alright, fine." Snake sighed, and turned the heat off from the cooker, taking the saucepan and draining the water out of the rice. "Point taken. I won't attempt it again. But that means I have nothing except for plain rice to eat now. Maybe I'll just stick to ramen tonight..."

Luigi was putting the four Pikmin back in the sack, but paused and glanced at the soldier. "But why? You could join me for dinner this evening. We can just go out there."

"I told Master Hand that I would be having a small dinner. And besides, ramen is cheap. It's not as if I have any more interesting foods left here."

"Now that's where you're wrong." The green-clad plumber corrected. "I've got some food here, Snake, that we can share. You can't live on ramen all the time, you know?"

"And the food would be?" Snake questioned, one eyebrow raised. Luigi merely smiled, and brought out a dish of curry from nowhere, presenting with a flourish. "But... that's- that's a superspicy curry! Now where the hell did you get that?"

"Stole it off Diddy." Luigi grinned. "Get the rice. It won't be as spicy that way."

Snake nodded and turned towards the cooker; however, he then hesitated and slowly turned back towards Luigi. "...The additional rice, eh?"

"Yeah."

"Now wait just a second." The mercenary held up a finger, thinking hard. "Wait just a second. I have an idea."

Luigi blinked. Snake didn't usually have ideas, but whenever he got one, one could be assured that someone was going to get hurt. Badly. "_What_ kind of idea?"

"Tell me," Snake grinned, the sadistic light back in his eyes. "Who don't you like right now?"

* * *

"This is what we'll do, see." Snake was fishing out the lettuce from the stir-fry and dicing the vegetables. "We'll eat half of that curry. If we use the rice I've cooked with the half we're going to eat, it won't be as spicy and we'll be quite safe. As for the leftover half..."

"Yes?"

"We'll pack the stir-fry underneath and fill the space with rice. No one's going to notice a thing. They're so greedy for items, they all are." The soldier grinned. "So we'll have a Pikmin-poisoned curry that'll automatically disable any opponent. A kind of bait."

Luigi looked uncomprehending for a while, but then a slow, wide grin spread on his face. "You," He breathed. "are so _evil_, Snake."

"Thank you." Snake bowed playfully, making the other chuckle. "So tell me, who don't you like right now?"

"Um... I should say that Wario was quite annoying."

"For me it'll be Sonic." The soldier had finished making the bait, and placed it away on the counter. "Come on. Let's chow down on the other half. I'm starving."

"And then after that we'll return those four Pikmin to Olimar."

"Yeah, we'll do that."

* * *

Thus the Pikmin stir-fry was not wasted nor forsaken. The rest of the day went smoothly, as the two most unlikely friends chatted and schemed over dinner. The very next day, they challenged Wario and Sonic to a brawl in Shadow Moses, and placed the bait close to the centre of the arena. After knocking the two down, Snake and Luigi jumped up the platforms, hid in the cardboard box and watched in glee as the two other brawlers fought over the curry, both of them swallowing half each eventually in the chaos. After watching this, the two in hiding silently high-fived each other.

Total victory was theirs.


	4. 04: Tomato

**Author's Note:** This is more of a Meta Knight-centric thing. I love that guy. Of course, Snake and Luiginess will appear in this too. How can I have a chapter here without them? Every chapter I've written so far contains Snake, Luigi and the famous box.

Nice.

Thanks to Umbreon Mastah, I am officially hooked on to the Meta Knight x Jigglypuff pairing! They just... belong together.

* * *

"Eat your tomatoes."

Meta Knight was sitting down on the bed in his suite, polishing his sword. Kirby was rolling close by, and he sighed before putting the sword down and going over to the hyperactive pink spirit. "Kirby, just sit down and eat the thing. You do like tomatoes, don't you?"

A perky nod.

"I like tomatoes!" The baby spirit squealed and rolled over to the little table where five tomatoes were sitting, grasping the red fruit in his short stumpy arms. Meta Knight watched him with a wary eye, sliding off the bed and sitting opposite Kirby.

"It doesn't matter whether you like it or not. You _have_ to eat it." The masked knight, of course, doubted very much whether Kirby could even understand what he was trying to convey; the pink ball-like spirit was simply too young and carefree to listen to him. But at least he'd gotten through the basic message, so he merely sighed and waited for Kirby to take a bite.

"Nice?" He asked blandly, not expecting a reply. Kirby nodded eagerly with a smile.

"Delicious." He chirped, and went back to finishing off the entire fruit. Meta Knight let out a low 'hmph' and stood up - and as if on cue, three knocks came on the door.

"Who is it?" He called.

"It's us. Let us in." Replied a low male voice, and Meta Knight walked over to the extra-low door handle, opening the door and letting his two guests enter. "So, how was the experiment? Did that pink marshmallow like it?"

"Kirby." The other man corrected gently. "Don't mind Snake, Meta Knight. He's just all wound up because Pit wouldn't leave his box alone."

"Damn right." Snake lightly smacked his fist into his palm. "Darned cosplayer. Needs to learn a lesson or two."

Meta Knight slowly surveyed the two, ignoring Kirby rolling around in the background. "But you allow Luigi to hide in the box with you." He stated matter-of-factly, his eyes fixed on the taller mercenary. "I'm sure Pit didn't mean harm."

"But unlike Pit, he's actually interesting." The soldier seemed oddly protective of Luigi as he said those words. "Anyway, let's not ramble on about the box. Did Kirby like the tomatoes?"

"He loves them. Which I find quite odd - I mean, they're so _red_." Meta Knight had picked up a tomato, and was examining it closely. "It doesn't seem... well... delicious. But if Kirby likes it, then I can't say much about that."

"Good." Snake nodded. "We bought them when we were hiding in the shop downtown. Needed an excuse to stay there. And then we remembered that Kirby liked them..."

"Why were you hiding?" The blue knight held up the tomato to Luigi. "Here. Try feeding him. He likes attention that way."

Luigi nodded and took the tomato from him. "We were hiding from Falco. You see... Snake kind of made fun of Fox's Landmaster the other day." The younger Mario brother smiled sheepishly, and bent down to hold the tomato out to Kirby. The spirit complied and grasped the fruit in his arms, taking a large bite out of it. "And you know what those two are like. They can't stand anyone criticizing their partner in any way."

"But I was right anyhows." The mercenary complained, crossing his arms. He looked displeased. "They think that the Landmaster is the most _original_ thing ever. And it isn't. Why, even their nemesis uses the thing! That's just stupid!"

"Says the guy who tried to eat Pikmin." The green-clad plumber chuckled, not unkindly, and pulled Kirby onto his lap where the pink spirit nuzzled and cuddled up to his arms. "Meta Knight, you have a great view from here! You can see Green Greens from here easily. Did you get a custom suite?"

The blue knight nodded. "I had to keep an eye on the places we are accustomed to. Can you see the four Smashers entering Green Greens?"

"Yes, actually." Luigi answered as Snake moved over and peered out of the window. "There's King Dedede, Ike, Wario... and I can't see from this angle. What do you see, Snake?" Kirby whimpered for attention and he bent down again, chucking him underneath the chin.

"I see fifteen pounds of green steak walking into Green Greens." Snake replied, deadpan. "Seriously... if I can't eat Pikmin, I'm going to capture that Yoshi one day."

Luigi sighed.

* * *

Meta Knight closed the door after bidding his two guests good afternoon; the two had departed after much talk, cuddling Kirby (in Luigi's case) and eating tomatoes. The blue knight wasn't very good with people, and mostly kept to himself, but then he remembered that Solid Snake was not one for conversation either. For some reason, since Luigi had begun to talk and join him, the soldier had begun to open up a little. The green-clad man was special to him, Meta Knight assumed with a rare smile - Luigi seemed to give people a certain kind of feeling of safety and calmness, and the blue knight respected that.

"Meta!" Kirby was tugging on his cloak, and he looked down.

"What is it?"

"You have a visitor!" He chirped cheerfully. The spirit still had tomato stains all around his mouth, and the knight paused to wipe a few stains off with the tablecloth.

"A visitor? But I didn't hear anything."

"It's because I let her in!" Kirby chuckled, and rolled away from him. "_Wheeeeeeeeee_-"

"You let who in?" Meta Knight asked with some irritation, but he knew that getting sense out of Kirby was harder than dodging a Negative Zone. "You can't just go around letting random people in, Kirby! I-"

"Having trouble?" A sweet voice laughed from the corner, and Meta Knight flinched. "Oh, I'm sorry! I saw Snake and Luigi coming out of your suite - and I thought that I might keep you company..."

"...Ah, yes, of course!" Meta Knight hurriedly walked over to greet his new guest. "I apologize. I was just distracted. So what can I do for you, Jigglypuff?"

The pink Pokemon laughed again. "Oh, such a gentleman! You're very kind." She smiled and looked out of the window. "I didn't feel much like brawling, and there's no one else to keep me company. I hope you don't mind me being here."

"Of course not." The knight replied, his eyes just perhaps a bit more softer. Jigglypuff couldn't help but smile again - Meta Knight was quite a enigmatic figure, and it was the first time that she'd ever seen him showing emotion other than pure, calculated calmness. "Make yourself at home. It does get lonely when I only have Kirby to look after and talk to."

"I hope he's not making you unhappy."

"Kirby's perfectly fine." The knight assured her, but he did seem rather tired. "It's just that... he tends to get... very hyperactive. It seems an excess dose of any fruit or vegetable does that to him."

Jigglypuff looked around the suite for any sign of food, finding none, and looked at him with a slightly confused look. "Does this have anything to do with Snake and Luigi? They were talking about tomatoes and Yoshi when I passed by them. It's not like them to talk about such things."

Meta Knight considered his options; the question of edible Yoshis, he decided, were better off unsaid. But he could explain the tomatoes easily. "They bought five tomatoes for Kirby here, and came over to talk. I must say that the tomatoes went down well. I guess that was why they were talking about them."

The Pokemon nodded, satisfied with the answer. "That explains why Kirby's so excited."

The said spirit was now bouncing around the suite, attempting to inhale things. The Pokemon glanced at him, and then back at Meta Knight. "Shall I put him to sleep?"

"Please do." The masked male almost pleaded, sounding rather exhausted. "When he's in that mood he can go on for hours."

"But you'll have to leave the suite for a while, Meta." Jigglypuff answered, hesistant. "My song puts anyone to sleep."

"Don't worry about me. I won't go to sleep. Besides, I would like to enjoy your song." Meta Knight hopped up to his bed and sat down, eagerly waiting for the song to commence. "Go on. I'll bet you anything that I won't fall asleep."

Jigglypuff considered this for a moment before a small smile made its way to her face. "Anything?" She asked, suddenly sounding rather mischievious. "Anything at _all_, you say?"

"Anything." Meta Knight repeated, his boastful side coming out. Unbeknownest to the Pokemon, he was smiling under his mask. "I'll bet you anything at all."

"All right then. If you don't fall asleep, in future brawls I'll pass the next thirty Assist Trophies I find to you. That way you'll be guaranteed to get a good chance." The blue knight sat up straight at this; the next thirty Assist Trophies that she found would be his, all his... it was a tempting offer, but not the best one for Jigglypuff. He found himself being concerned for her chances at brawling.

"Are you sure about that? Thirty Assist Trophies are a lot."

"Very sure." She replied calmly. "And if you fall asleep, you lose... and then you'll have to sit with me at dinner for the next three weeks. No exceptions!"

Meta Knight considered this very carefully; yes, if he won his chances at brawling would be increased dramatically. If he lost, however... he didn't really know much about Jigglypuff, but she seemed nice enough. It would perhaps even do him a lot of good to sit with her and chat; it was a chance to get to know a fellow Smasher better.

"I'll take the bet, then."

"Alright. Tell me when you're prepared."

The knight took a deep breath and sat back on the bed. "Right. I'm ready."

Jigglypuff took a bow, and closing her eyes, she began singing. Kirby, who had been trying to inhale Meta Knight's sword, perked up and stared curiously at the Pokemon, his eyes wide. Her song appeared to have absolutely no effect on him.

However, as the minutes passed by, Kirby yawned wide and sank down on the floor, unable to keep his eyes open. Quite soon, he was splayed out on the ground, snoring softly; Jigglypuff smiled happily as he fell asleep, and after a few more seconds stopped her singing.

"There you go, Meta. Kirby's asleep." She turned to the bed and jumped up lightly. "He won't even wake up for a while." She peered closely to his face. "...Meta?"

The knight had not moved from his position, nor had he slumped down; this was why she was terribly confused for a couple of seconds. And she dared not touch him or his mask, knowing how sensitive he was about it. But when he neither moved or responded to her, she plucked up the courage to lightly poke his cheek.

Meta Knight fell over backwards, dead to the world. He was asleep and completely oblivious to her.

This shocked her momentarily; how could he, the great Meta Knight, succumb to something like her song and fall right sleep? But then she began to see the funny side of the whole thing, and had to stifle her laughter with the sheets.

"I'll be seeing you for dinner tonight, then." Jigglypuff laughed, and settled down on the bed also, a slight distance away from him. No harm watching him, she thought wryly, and looked briefly out of the window.

Such a nice day it was.


	5. 05: Rivalry

**Author's Note:** Logic follows, with the kind of man the soldier happens to be, not everyone is happy with Snake and Luigi being friends.

Especially a certain red-clad plumber.

This chapter has very little humour. The next one will have plenty, though. Something is wrong in this chapter and I don't know what. Snake and Luigi were friends for five chapters and they're already bawwing over each other.

Their relationship is... complicated. They're friends who can't stick each other sometimes (Luigi, for instance, doesn't take too gladly to the way Snake looks at other animals as food) and at other times it's almost lurve. It's just... weird.

Imagine. Those two might be Rule 34'd in a few months' or years' time. That's one scary thought.

* * *

"I'm just going out for a while, Mario... I'll be back soon..." Luigi hollered over his shoulder as he tied his shoelaces and ran out of the suite door. He had a bright smile on his face; he was going for a brawl with Meta Knight, Jigglypuff and Toon Link. All very friendly opponents, and never too violent. He figured that he could hold out for a long time, or even win the brawl matches easily today, and that was good. Afterwards he would spend the afternoon with Snake, talking about the most random things, and sit at his table for dinner. He'd all had it planned out. And quite frankly, he couldn't be any happier.

His brother, however, was not sharing his mood.

At all.

Mario hadn't bothered to say a good-bye, or wished him luck, nor did he give any sign of acknowledging that Luigi had ever spoken. He glowered silently out of his window, down at Shadow Moses Island where his brother's brawl match would be taking place, brooding. In a way, he was doing it on purpose; usually, when he was in one of his moods like that, and neglected to talk to his brother for whatever reason, Luigi would try to gain his attention back in any way he could.

And as selfish as he sounded, he'd liked it when his brother begged for attention. It made Mario feel important to have someone craving his company, it made him feel like he was doing his duty as an older brother well - it made him feel secure when Luigi was clinging close to him, because it gave the sense that they were brothers no matter what. _He_ had been the one in charge of making Luigi happy for almost a decade and a half, and it was true that he had done a very good job of it. Mario shared his spotlight with his brother whenever he did something good, he had comforted and hugged him when he was feeling down; all the sibling love was there, within his heart. For years Mario had been Luigi's best friend, the one he confided all his secrets and feelings to, the special one; and he liked it that way.

But he wanted still more. He wanted to be sure that Luigi was happy with him, that he was content and perfectly fine. He loved Luigi as a brother, yes, and he wanted him to return that love back. For years he had gotten those signs by either doing something for him, or even deliberately forcing him to beg for attention. And then Mario could shower him with all the love and attention he could give his younger sibling.

But now nothing seemed to be working anymore. He had never expected Luigi to just change like this; in the previous two Smash Brothers tournaments, the green-clad plumber had usually stuck close to his brother. Mario, of course, had expected him to be no more different, yet this time his brother had completely shattered his expectations.

Mario grimaced and frowned still harder as he thought of the creepy soldier going around with Luigi. It was no secret that Luigi had been the one who had reached out to the mercenary first, but then he was like that to everyone. What surprised and annoyed him to no end was the latter's reaction. Mario had to admit (albeit grudgingly) that Solid Snake had not harmed Luigi, nor had he used him in any way; in a way, the mercenary was just as protective and kind towards Luigi as the older Mario brother had been.

Perhaps even more.

The thought gave him the chills; he suddenly wasn't the only one who Luigi could really rely on. He no longer craved his older brother's company as much. His younger brother was drifting away from him slowly but surely, making different friends, and it frightened him. Mario wanted to keep Luigi close for ever and always. He wanted their sibling relationship to be the perfect one, with both brothers sticking close by each other for the entirety of their lives. Yet deep inside in his mind, he knew that that was impossible and he was having ridiculous expectations - Luigi was not a child, nor was he a 'kid brother' anymore. It was inevitable that he would slowly drift away and lead a different, separate life. But no matter how hard he tried, Mario just couldn't accept that. What's more, he absolutely refused to accept that Luigi and Snake were good friends. He would rather be defeated and be humilliated publicly for eternity than let his younger brother go around with a dangerous, homicidal man like _him_.

Forget sibling rivalry. He was dealing with a completely different rival here, a rival competing for Luigi's attention and care. And he wouldn't lose.

Scowling, Mario turned away, grabbed his hat and strode out of the door. He wanted to leave Luigi out of this, but he _would_ settle it with Snake.

Now.

* * *

Solid Snake was folding a cardboard box.

It did him the world of good to take apart those boxes after he was done with them, yes, and recycle them. He was very caring for the environment (sans the animals he liked to eat). However, his odd curiosity had gotten the better of him this time - what if he'd dismantled all those boxes, needed camouflage and couldn't summon another one? It was possible, if he was particularly high on damage. So he would have to learn to construct one in a safe place instead of relying on his powers to conjure up one. He'd already made a few which he'd piled up in the corner.

Fun times.

The brawl raged on below him, and he looked down, wishing that the Smashers wouldn't knock the pillars down. If he fell down there, he would become a fifth party, an unnecessary one; and they would have no choice but to kick him out.

And he wished for Luigi to win.

The Smash Ball floated up ahead, with all four Smashers chasing after it; Toon Link was ahead, but then a flash of green appeared out of nowhere and struck the boy on the back. Without hesitation, the green-clad Smasher jumped up and broke the Smash Ball, the signature faint green glow surrounding his entire body. Snake looked down, watching Luigi drive the other Smashers back to the very edge, the cardboard box forgotten.

"Yeah, you go." He whispered.

As if he could hear the mercenary, Luigi made his move immediately after he said those words; Snake couldn't help but peer curiously at the scene unfolding below him. Half the arena had been surrounded by a green aura, and Luigi himself began an oddly hypnotic dance around the Smashers - who were either dragging themselves around or falling asleep - while strange music played. This was the Negative Zone - where everything was inverted, time stopped, and one lost control over oneself - and the soldier whistled to himself as the plumber knocked every single Smasher off the edge, their surprised cries echoing in the island.

"Nice." He muttered. Luigi was now the only one left in the field, and he glanced up to see his friend above him; Snake gave him a grin and a thumbs-up, and he replied with a wave and a wide smile.

"And the winner is..." The speakers came on suddenly, startling both of them. "...Luigi!"

"Yes!" The younger Mario punched the air triumphantly. "I won! I'll see you in fifteen minutes or so, Snake!" With that, he dashed out of the doors to get himself a change of clothes and a snack or two. The soldier understood this well, and chuckled to himself as he settled back down to folding the box. Luigi had won, yes, and he was happy for him. The guy was much more powerful than anyone Snake had ever seen - if only he would use those powers more to his advantage...

"Snake." A voice called him from his back. The mercenary whirled around; Mario stood behind him, tapping his foot in an annoyed gesture, looking rather grim. It was obvious that he'd been there for a while - Snake inwardly cursed himself for letting his guard down, but faced the older Mario brother nonetheless.

"Can I help you?" Snake asked without much interest. He had never been too fond of Mario, but he had never hated him either; he saw the red-clad plumber as neutral. But then the conversation turned into something that he didn't want to discuss with Mario, and he began to reconsider his opinion.

"I don't like the way you're hanging around my brother," Mario said, his arms crossed and looking quite angry. "and I want you to stop getting so close to him."

Snake blinked.

"And why is that?"

"You heard me." The red plumber snapped. "I want you to stay away from Luigi - as far as possible. I can't have someone the likes of you influencing him."

"I'm not sure I understand your problem." Snake replied calmly, further infuriating Mario; the other's fists were clenching, and his expression had hardened further. This gave Snake an advantage - angry people were more vulnerable to making mistakes. The soldier was on better grounds and he would keep his cool. "I haven't abused him in any way, and I don't ever intend to. He's a friend of mine, and I don't see what's so wrong with that."

"Don't give me that rubbish." Mario shot back. "You honestly don't think that I'll trust you with his safety? You're a soldier - you were meant to fight and kill. Luigi wasn't. You're just intimidating him, are't you?"

"He comes to me of his own will. I haven't forced him to do anything." Snake settled back calmly against the wall, gazing at the other with serene eyes. "Rather unlike you, I must say. From what I know you just seem unnecessarily overprotective of your brother."

"I'm not overprotective."

"You are." The mercenary insisted. "Your brother isn't living on the Moon. He's here, in the Smash Brothers tournament and brawling just like any of us. We share a hotel, and I know that you two share the same suite with one another. Get on with your own life and stop interfering with your brother's."

Mario glared at him, still not willing to lose this fight. But he seemed to be losing anyhow; as much as he hated to admit it, Snake was right. He was spot-on right - he really shouldn't be bothered about what friends Luigi chose, as long as they were kind and truly helpful. Which the soldier was, at least to Luigi. But his own stereotypes about Snake wouldn't allow him to let them both be. "Fine, let us say that I'm overprotective. But that's because I actually care about Luigi. I've been his guardian for years now, for God's sake! It's not so wrong as you make it to have an older brother caring for his younger brother, is it?"

"I don't think you 'care' for him in the way you ought to be." Snake answered. "Sure, I understand that you love your brother very much-"

"-_Finally_ we're getting somewhere-" Mario muttered under his breath.

"-But you're being way too sensitive about this. It's not like I'll slit his throat." The other man raised his eyebrows at this, but the mercenary continued on. "In fact, I rather suspect you're feeling short of attention. You know what I think about this entire issue?"

No answer.

"I think you're jealous."

This appeared to be the final straw for the red-clad plumber. He turned his back on Snake, as not to show that he was obviously fuming - but the soldier noticed anyway. "I don't have time for this. Just stay away from us. Stay away from Princess Peach, Yoshi and especially Luigi."

Without any more words, he walked away.

* * *

Snake sat there for a long while, staring after where Mario had gone; he had won the argument, yes, but he had to admit that he didn't particularly feel very happy about it. He'd felt as if he'd somehow dragged Luigi into this complicated issue when he clearly wanted him to be kept out of it all; and he was sure glad that the green-clad plumber wasn't there to hear them argue.

That was, until he heard a small shifting sound from the pile of boxes in the corner.

"Snake?" A soft, tentative voice called, and the mercenary got up and walked over to the corner, lifting up the very last box; and there was Luigi, his overjoyed expression no longer there, looking sad and worried. Somehow, he must have sneaked in while they were arguing and had hid in the box. Snake knew that he had heard everything; and said nothing, merely sitting down close to Luigi and placing the box over their heads again. It gave them private space, an area where they could just talk with one another.

"I'm sorry." He said quietly, as they were enveloped in welcoming darkness. "It all got out of hand."

Luigi didn't reply. Snake sighed - he couldn't see the other's face in the darkness, and leaned back against the sides of the box, heart heavy. "I just... couldn't stand it. I don't see anything wrong with us being friends. And... I'm sorry you had to hear that. It wasn't fair on any one of us-" He suddenly leaned close to the other man, reaching out to touch his shoulder lightly. "Hey... are you crying?"

Sure enough, his shoulders were shaking and he was trembling all over. Unbeknownest to Snake, Luigi was biting his lip to try to stifle the sound; but they escaped him even so, and for a minute or so nothing could be heard except for his sobbing.

Snake could do nothing but look at the plumber. He was used to dealing with hysterical people, nervous people, even downright _psychos_ - but in a situation like this, he had no idea what to do. Crying people, especially friends, were not his speciality at all. So he did the only thing he could think of doing.

He reached out and gathered Luigi in his arms, letting his head rest on his shoulder.

At first he was momentarily worried as Luigi's body stiffened, wondering if he had done something wrong. But then the plumber relaxed, and held onto Snake, weeping his heart out onto his shoulder. "There now." Snake murmured, awkwardly patting the other's head. "It's going to be all right."

"But Mario's so mad at you." Luigi blurted out between sobs. "I never thought that he could be... so _mean_..."

"Shh." The mercenary shushed Luigi, patting his back in a comforting gesture. "It's okay. I think it's just petty jealousy, that is. And as I said, he's just overprotective. I'm sure he didn't just do it out of pure spite."

Of course, he himself nowhere near believed this. His mind was working overdrive now, hatred for Mario creeping in; but he couldn't let Luigi know that. He looked down at the other man; he'd stopped crying, but he was still holding onto the soldier tightly, which obviously indicated that he still wanted comfort. Snake leaned down gently.

"Luigi?"

Luigi jumped, head snapping up and he stared into Snake's eyes.

"That's..." He stammered. "...that's the first time you've called my name... you know that?"

Snake had to mentally kick himself for this fact; was he really _this_ uncaring and cold? Come to think of it, in the past weeks he'd known Luigi, he didn't recall addressing him by given name. How could he be so careless? It was nearly always 'you' or 'hey' with him when it came to addressing other people, and he couldn't seem to get rid of that habit. Otacon and Mei Ling had been annoyed with him before because of that... Perhaps Mario had been right. Perhaps he couldn't ever be true friends with anyone. But he shook off this thought soon, as he looked back into Luigi's clear blue eyes.

"I apologize." He said, rare sincerity in his voice. "I have no excuses for that. I should think that it's bad habit."

"Oh, don't apologize!" Luigi replied hastily, afraid that he might have said something completely unnecessary. "I'm the one who needs to say sorry to you... Mario's just like that sometimes. He just kind of lost it today. It won't happen again."

"I gathered that. And it's perfectly okay. I'm used to such things." Snake replied softly, and settled back more comfortably in the box, relieved that it had passed over well. He still doubted that Mario would just let go of this issue, but he wouldn't worry about it now. "Luigi... I like your name. Has a nice ring to it." He smiled, and the other returned it, looking a bit more cheerful. "Don't be downhearted. It's your day today. You won the brawl even with all the other Smashers powered up with items and Assist Trophies! I watched. You were great today."

"Thanks."

Snake grinned and lightly slapped Luigi's back. "Come on, let's get out of here. You must be hungry."

"I am actually." Luigi admitted. "Any place we can go to?"

Snake considered this briefly. They both knew that the dining room was out of question; Mario and the others would be there. "You know the side kitchen I cooked Pikmin in a week ago? Come with me. I'll be cooking today. My treat. And then we can go up to my suite for the meal itself."

"Sounds perfect!" The plumber chuckled, but then he pouted. "If you're serving up a Yoshi fry-up, Yoshi steak, or Pikmin in any shape or form... Snake, that'll just be... _eww_."

"Don't worry about that." Snake grinned and winked. "I have my eyes on a certain electric rat. Self-cooking, anyone?"

"That's even more disgusting! Samus will _kill _you!"

"Joking. Stroganoff and Italian wine sound fine to you?"

"Great." Luigi pushed upwards at the cardboard box and pulled it off, letting the sunlight wash over them. Snake smiled at him, and he smiled back at his friend; no matter what his brother or anyone thought, the mercenary was a friend of his. That would never change. "Come on. Shall we get the wine now?"

"Sounds good to me."


	6. 06: Codec Experience

**Author's Note:** This is a Metal Gear Solid spoiler-ridden chapter. It's a (reasonably) humorous chapter. Luigi is about to discover the possible reason for Snake's insanity.

And boy, is he going to be scared.

I would like to apologize to Metal Gear fans. This chapter contains quotes that I shamelessly plagiarized for the sake of humour, and I'm aware I killed off most of the plot in 'Sons of Liberty', missing the point of the game by miles. I'm so sorry.

* * *

Luigi sighed and tossed away the peanut shell he was holding. Brawling with Diddy Kong had its advantages, of course, but he had to admit that eating peanuts was nothing compared to the fun of going around with friends. Meta Knight and Jigglypuff were away in Smashville ('Oh, there's a new boutique downtown... Meta, will you come with me? _Please_?'), Kirby was in Green Greens, and Snake had gone to a brawl in Delfino Plaza. He didn't want to hang around in the hotel suite where his now permanently-grumpy brother was sulking in; so Shadow Moses was the only place he could go. He was hiding under a box - a habit he'd picked off from Snake - where the mercenary had left a few of his belongings behind.

Feeling bored and curious, he reached out to the pile of belongings and looked. There was a spare bandanna, a cartridge, a grenade (with the pin in, of course) and a small handheld radio. Luigi was no stranger to those items; but he didn't really know much about the radio itself. Snake had called it a 'Codec', used to communicate with either of his three associates.

He checked the frequency settings. 140.85. That must be the usual frequency that Snake used to talk to the others. Looking at the five numbers displayed on the screen, Luigi found his memories drifting back to about three days ago when the mercenary had told him about the Codec and his associates:

_"You remind me of Otacon, actually."_

_"And why is that?"_

_"You gave me information without me having to personally interrogate you. Only three people have ever done that, before you came along. And I don't even see them usually. This thing-" He held up the radio. "-is the only link to them that I have." The mercenary held up three fingers. "I'm in contact with Mei Ling - I told you about her -, Otacon and Colonel Campbell who's in charge of missions he assigns me."_

_"I think I've heard him before." Luigi spoke, glancing at the upper corner of the box with a thoughtful look. "When we were fighting here at first... you talked to him on the radio, didn't you? About me?" His face fell, and he sighed heavily, sinking down on the floor. "I don't think I went down well with him."_

_Snake said nothing for long while. "You heard." He said finally, his voice quiet. Luigi nodded. "Don't mind the Colonel. He's a bit cracked in the head. Sometimes he says the stupidest things and I have no idea why. One of my fellow fighters was scared to death because of his moods-" Luigi did not seem much happier at this news, and the soldier sighed. "He shouldn't have said that."_

_"Everybody thinks that about me." Luigi said softly, his voice sad and subdued. _

_"I don't." Snake replied firmly. "I don't think anyone deserves to be called 'The King of Second Bananas'. That's just disrespectful."_

_"You stuck up for me." Luigi suddenly said, his face seemingly brightening a little. He looked up at Snake. "So you think that I'm... okay, then?"_

_The soldier nodded, his face sincere and serious, and Luigi managed a smile. "More than okay. You're a great guy." Snake reached out with his hand as best as possible and patted the other awkwardly on the head, knocking the green cap over his eyes. But Luigi only shook his head and laughed._

"A bit cracked, eh?" Luigi murmured to himself, and a mischievous grin spread on his face. "Well, let's see about that."

He pressed a button, and held the codec close to his face, waiting. He didn't actually know whether the Colonel would pick up - it could be anyone who answered his call. But he'd started something, which meant that he'd finish it. Ah, if only he had known! Although Luigi had no idea, Snake used different frequencies for different people. This particular frequency connected straight to the Colonel, yes, but when he'd finished with the conversation that was going to happen, Luigi wished that he had never picked up the codec at all. If Snake had set the frequency to something else, chances were that the younger Mario brother would have had a pleasant, informative conversation with someone else.

"Hello?" He nervously called. Nothing but silence greeted him. He was beginning to think that his mission was in vain when suddenly the codec crackled, and a gruff voice spoke out of it.

"Snake, close your browser window right now!"

"What?" Luigi blinked. "Hello, is this the Colonel? Um... I'm not Snake, but-"

"Your brawling mission is a failure. Just close the browser window!"

"...What are you talking about?"

"Don't worry, it's just fanfiction. It's just one of the thousands of fanfiction pieces in the Smash Brothers category." The voice kept on talking, completely oblivious to Luigi. "You're going to ruin your eyes staring so intently at the monitor, you know."

Luigi said nothing for a very long while, staring blankly into thin air, uncomprehending. So is this the person that Snake worked with? No wonder the soldier was a bit strange at times. He had listened to maybe only about three or four sentences from the Colonel and he already felt extremely messed up and confused; this kind of thing would drive _anyone_ crazy after a while. Perhaps it was time to end it right now. His finger hovered over the power button.

"Hello!" The sudden gruff call made him jump. "Hello hello hello! Anyone there?"

"...Um..."

An unusual cackle came from the radio. "Oh, great. You're there after all. So where were we on our conversation?" The Colonel sounded perfectly calm and normal now, and Luigi exhaled a shaky breath. Maybe the former had gotten over one of his 'moods' and was now willing to talk to him. That was certainly a relief.

Sure, the cackle still worried him, but still...

"Speaking of which, would you like to hear a rumour? I don't know if it's true, but it is certainly an intriguing one I heard going around over here. I hope that it will help you on your brawls."

"...Yes please."

"I heard that it's _amazing_ when the famous purple stuffed worm in flapped jaw space with a tuning fork does a raw blink on hari-kiri rock." The Colonel chuckled, and Luigi stared again. "I need scissors! _Sixty-one_!"

"Look here, Colonel. Are you feeling all right? You're acting... strange. Please talk to me!" Luigi begged. "Please! You're not making sense!"

"La, li, lu, le, lo." Came the odious reply. "La, li, lu, le, lo. La, li, lu, le, lo."

Silence.

Luigi didn't know what to think. Snake had been right - the Colonel was definitely 'cracked' in the head. He'd started something now, and he would usually end such things by himself - but _this_, he had to admit, he had no idea how to finish off. Dealing with psychos was not his forte, and the poor man just sat there, in the box, with the now-silent radio in his hand, completely lost and not knowing what to do.

Or maybe it wasn't the Colonel who was weird. Maybe he was the one who was strange. Luigi vaguely remembered the Colonel saying those five syllables over and over again when Snake had first talked about the younger Mario brother; and as it had happened again, he could very well assume that the Colonel only went crazy in his presence. He had no way of knowing, and wasn't sure if he really wanted to know anyway.

"Snake, for God's sake, where the heck _are_ you," Luigi murmured to himself, clutching the codec tight. "I need you right now. Please come back."

"Snake, do you copy?" The radio crackled again, as if on cue. Luigi glanced down but did not answer, afraid of what the Colonel might say this time. "Snake, I heard that you have a good brawl score nowadays. The disguise and grenades I gave you are working well, I assume? I hope you're not regretting your decision to attend the Smash Brothers tournament."

Luigi said nothing, but listened carefully to the Colonel's words.

"And I noticed, from your scores, that your opponents' K.O rates are unusually high when they're fighting you and only you alone." The voice continued. "Can you explain that phenomenon, Snake? Are they just too tame for you or what?" The Colonel's tone suddenly turned accusing, and Luigi whimpered at the hostility. "You wouldn't be trying to give yourself a bogus score using some ingenious trick, would you? That's just as _low_ as anyone could possibly stoop! I can't _believe_ you some times!"

"No, no, Colonel, you don't understand!" Luigi tried for the last time, now extremely confused and almost tearful. "Please, I'm telling you, I'm not-"

"Even my patience has its limits. I just can't leave this thing up to you any longer." The Colonel's voice was getting louder as he began to rant and shout at the person on the other end. "_I'll _do the fighting! _You can just go home_!"

That was the final straw. Luigi let out an uncharacteristic screech and pressed hard on the power button, ending the communication, and tossed the codec onto the pile of Snake's belongings. He then curled up in the box, trembling, waiting for the soldier to return.

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

"I can't believe you and Jigglypuff were going out! She pushed me off Halberd the last time I was brawling there!" Snake shouted, standing in the doorway of the Shadow Moses arena. "How can you _do_ this to me, Meta? I thought you were an ally of mine!"

"I am, Snake." Meta Knight replied, sounding exasperated and holding two shopping bags from Smashville in both of his stumpy arms. Jigglypuff was curled up behind him, whimpering; Snake was quite possibly the scariest person she had ever met in her life. "But how was I to know that you were even brawling in Halberd?"

"Because it's your ship!"

"Do you know everyone who's ever brawled in Shadow Moses?"

That threw the soldier off guard, and he blinked. "W-what? Look, I don't _own_ Shadow Moses. Otacon and I escaped from the place years ago when we first found out about it!"

Meta Knight sighed. "So you don't know. Whatever... just let go of it."

Snake sighed, his temper fading away. Meta Knight was right, after all, but he was a man who held grudges for a long time, especially at certain people - "Fine, I apologize. I won't bother you two. But I still expect to see you around in the dining room. And in your suite." The blue knight nodded, indicating that he was forgiven. Jigglypuff got up, looking nervously at the soldier, and he shot her a glare that instantly made her flinch. "Hey... speaking of which, where's Kir-"

"Let's go now, Jigglypuff!" The masked knight cut in hastily, pulling his date along. "What do you fancy for lunch?"

"Huh? Oh..." Snake watched the two as they faded away into the distance. "um... how about a pizza in Warioware. Inc, or we can go to the lunch bar in the hotel, I don't mind either-" The soldier shook his head and entered Shadow Moses, jumping up the platforms.

"Fancy him neglecting Kirby." He muttered. "Lovestruck, eh?" He reached the top floor and went for the box, lifting it up with his hands. "Luigi, I'm back, and you'll never guess what happ-" He stopped talking as the younger Mario brother came into sight.

Luigi was there, completely oblivious to Snake, curled up and shivering.

"What the-" Snake instantly swept down on him, his story about Meta Knight forgotten. "Luigi! What happened? God's sake, answer me! Did someone hurt you?" No answer was given. Snake did a quick visual check - Luigi appeared unharmed, but very distressed. "Who hurt you? Sonic? Olimar? Or Yoshi? My God, if it was him, I swear I'll _butcher_ the bloody lizard right now-"

"It isn't Yoshi." The younger Mario brother answered, and looked up nervously. "I talked to the Colonel."

The soldier didn't understand at first, but then it clicked; he stared at the other with an unfathomable look. "You've been fiddling with the codec?"

Luigi winced, shrinking back down. "Sorry! I was so bored... and I was curious! So I figured I could talk to the Colonel... and find out whether he was as cracked as you'd said he was..."

"So what did he say?" Snake sat down beside him and placed the box over their heads. The darkness and warmth would calm Luigi down a little, and he patted the other man's shoulder reassuringly. "Don't tell me he was in one of his moods?"

"Spot on." The green-clad plumber laughed shakily, glancing back at the soldier. "He thought that you were talking to him. I tried to tell him that it wasn't you, but he wouldn't listen and he shouted at me..."

"What did he say?"

"He said that you were K. your opponents too easily. And... he wondered whether you were cheating." This was a retelling with most of the insane things missing, but Luigi wasn't about to recall the memories again. "And then he shouted at me, saying that you'd better just go home and leave the fighting to him..."

Snake shook his head, rolling his eyes. "That sounds like the Colonel all right. It's enough to drive anyone crazy after a while. I'm sorry you had to listen to him waffle about nonsense. Did he tell you about the purple stuffed worm?"

"How did you know about that?"

"He tells it to everyone at least once. My colleague was half scared to death when the Colonel said that to him." The mercenary laughed, and gently patted Luigi on the back. He produced a bottle of water and held it out to the younger Mario brother. "There now. You won't have to face him again. Have some water."

"Thanks." Luigi took a swig out of the bottle and settled down. "So how was Delfino Plaza? Did you win?"

"Captain Falcon nearly ran me over once and pulled a few Falcon Punches on me. I swear that man's insane. I pushed him off the edge." Snake laughed sadistically, an odd glint in his eyes. "Boy, and did it feel _good_. And yes, I won. The Smash Ball can do everything." He laughed again, shifting around to fit more comfortably in the box.

"Who else were you up against?"

"Pit and Ganondorf. Not too difficult." Snake stretched slightly and grinned at the other man. "So as you can see, I'm quite content. And hey, I forgot to tell you this - I was talking to Meta Knight just before I came up here, and it turned out he was neglecting Kirby to go out with his little pink girlfriend-"

* * *

Hundreds of miles away from Smashville, in a secret location, an engineer was entering a computer room at his facility. He whistled to himself as he passed the few people in the room, a mug of coffee in his hand and a biscuit in the other, but as he passed the supercomputer in the room (nicknamed GW), he stopped and stared. There was something wrong; something was on that shouldn't be on, and it was intercepting a certain radio frequency. Frowning, the engineer bent over and looked at the conversation log.

Then he slapped a hand to his forehead, and slammed the mug of coffee on the desk, a sound of frustration escaping him.

"Damn it, Perkins, you're a disgrace to the Patriots! I _told _you to leave the bloody Campbell A. I. off! It's the _second_ time this month!"


	7. 07: Negative Zone

**Author's Note:** This is nothing much... just a simple filler, a description of a particular brawl out of hundreds. Doesn't do much for the overall plot of the series.

I will not update for a full week starting on Sunday (27th of April) to Friday, because I happen to be going on an exchange trip to France. I cannot take laptops, so buh-bye to updates for the whole week.

Meh. I'm so going to go crazy not being able to write. It de-stresses me.

Anyways, on with the little chapter.

* * *

The battle raged on into the evening, the four Smashers flying at each other as the sun began to set in the background.

Snake jumped up onto a platform and ducked as Mario unleashed a particularly nasty fireball in his direction. The red plumber was even less fond of him now, and the soldier was only too aware of that - so he had to stay on guard permanently. Mario silently ground his teeth as his attack missed, and Snake took advantage of the situation; he pulled out a grenade and chucked it in the red plumber's direction, accurately hitting him and pushing him a few metres away.

This brawl was getting a bit tiring.

He glanced up at the giant screen that displayed all their damage percentage. Mario was the highest damaged, then Snake, then Kirby, and Luigi was the least damaged. The younger Mario brother had stayed well away from the heat of the battle, only to really let rip whenever someone came nearby. He had beaten up Kirby so badly that all of the little pink spirit's 134 percent damage had been done by him. The mercenary grinned to himself as he saw Luigi unleash his taunting, subtle kick in Kirby's direction, sending the spirit flying straight up. Now that was another thing - Luigi's taunts were rather effective if used well. And they did damage too. Snake had to respect the strength of the green-clad plumber, but...

He wouldn't fail this brawl, either. He ran, his opponents (with the exception of Luigi) in hot pursuit, when he stopped in a certain area.

"Smash Ball!" Snake suddenly hollered, pointing at the sky. Mario and Kirby both looked up - to see nothing, and were instantly greeted by a giant explosion beneath them. Although neither of them had known, the mercenary had planted a mine in the ground beneath the two; and he grinned, jumping up the platforms to come face to face with Luigi.

"That was a clever trick." The younger Mario brother smirked. Snake returned the smirk, and winked at the other man. "But I won't lose this brawl!"

"Oh yeah? I bet you that I'll win before Master Hand can count to ten!"

"A bet, huh?" Luigi dodged a shot nimbly and stepped lightly onto Snake's platform. "Well, I bet that I'll win. If I win you're going to give me your five crates of Chardonnay! And give up trying to eat Yoshi!"

"Well, if I win, you're going to wear a maid dress and call me 'Master' for a whole week! And you'll help me shave and bring my food up to my suite on a pink flowery tray!" Snake laughed as he launched a missile in Luigi's direction. The younger Mario brother missed by an inch, and swiped at Snake, who simply stepped back to dodge. "And won't that be a delightful sight!"

"Not my _brother_, you pervert!" Mario shouted from below, looking ready to murder the soldier. "I'm going to _kill_ you!"

Snake merely grinned and gave Mario a gigantic wink. "We'll see about that! Hey, Luigi... what the-?" The green-clad plumber had turned away, and was running with all his strength to the opposite end of the arena. "Running away, are we?"

But he wasn't running _away_.

Oh no.

The three Smashers realized why Luigi was running too late; a real Smash Ball had appeared in the horizon, and the plumber jumped up to it, cracking the item a little. Kirby (who was the fastest) jumped up to try to grab it, but the other man simply knocked him down, chasing after it again.

"It's mine!" He shouted, and punched the Ball again - this time the Smash Ball broke apart, and Luigi was surrounded by a green glow, a wide grin on his face. "Showtime!"

"R... run!" Mario shouted, and he jumped down the platforms, pushing past Snake. Everyone knew that Luigi's Final Smash was fatal, which meant that everyone had to make the younger Mario brother run out of time if they were going to survive. Snake and Kirby followed suit. But Luigi was far too clever for their antics; he simply had dropped down to the base floor, and by the time that the three Smashers had reached the ground, he had them cornered.

"Where do you think you're going?" He laughed, and then without mercy, unleashed the Negative Zone.

Snake had only been caught in the aura of doom once, but knew it well enough to try to stay away from it. This however, was just uncalled for; Egyptian-Arabian music played out of nowhere, and Mario slipped next to him, a flower beginning to sprout from his head. His eyes were showing only whites. Kirby was already facedown on the ground, trying to crawl away and failing. And Luigi himself was in the middle, dancing in an oddly hypnotic way, his moves sleek and smooth, completely unaffected by the effects of the Zone.

Luigi was quite a good dancer, Snake thought, as he himself fell down on the ground. He suddenly felt extremely tired; green danced before his eyes, pretty kaleidoscope colours surrounding them. Vaguely, he thought he heard the high-pitched scream of Mario as Luigi mercilessly kicked him off the edge, and a squeak as Kirby followed suit. There was a crash down below...

And silence.

Snake raised himself up with effort, hands blindly groping for the flower on his head and pulling it out. The Zone was fading rapidly now. When he looked down, however, he found that he was teetering at the very edge of the arena, and that Luigi was in front of him, smiling in a sympathetic way. The soldier stared, unable to think.

"Sorry, Snake." Luigi said, looking truly apologetic. "This brawl is kind of important to me. I'll buy dinner tonight."

And with that, he placed his hands on the mercenary's chest, and pushed ever so gently.

Snake went over backwards, a stunned expression on his face, and for an instant he believed that he was still on the platform; but then he lost balance, and he fell down into the endless abyss below.

"And the winner is... Luigi..." The speakers boomed from above, but Snake hardly heard it: Luigi had pushed him over. His friend, his companion had literally pushed him off the edge. He could try to use his camera now and float up there, he still had a chance... and he wasn't doped from the Zone anymore...

So what now?

"...Ah-_ahhhhhhhhh_...!" The mercenary opened his mouth, but nothing but a confused, almost desperate, scream escaped him as he began picking up speed and hurtled downwards. He couldn't even use the camera to save himself. God, did Delfino Plaza even _have_ a measurable height up there? It actually did seem pretty high. And just how long did he have to fall? He glanced down, but the ground seemed so far down; although he knew that he wouldn't be squashed like a pancake, the notion was still frightening.

So what about Luigi now?

His crates of Chardonnay! No!

Snake considered killing the younger Mario brother when he got back on solid ground; but then he remembered how happy Luigi had looked when he'd realized he'd pretty much won the brawl, and the soft apologetic smile of the other. He had looked... cute? Downright pretty? Yes, pretty green inverted colours! And the dance! The soldier had no idea. But as he hurtled to the ground, he managed a small smile of his own.

Perhaps he would let it go. _Just_ this once.

...At least, that was until he hit the ground.


	8. 08: Shaving Cream

**Author's Note:** I'm back after a whole week of no updates! (glances around) And France was both weird and great at the same time. We went to Futuroscope and had a smashing time!

Anyway, back to the story. This is a lighthearted look at Snake and Luigi on a Sunday morning when nearly everyone's just splayed out on their beds, completely immobile. I come up with the strangest ideas sometimes. I scare myself. xD

I don't recall reading anything like this in any section, but I'm sure that this is routine for some people, so yay. Forgive me for the amateurish descriptions, because I'm a girl and I therefore do not have the need to do what's going on in this chapter. I don't know much about it at all. x.x But this chapter's just a nice, quiet, silly one.

I can't guarantee that the next one will be as lighthearted, though. O.o

* * *

"Snake? Snake, are you there?"

Solid Snake peeped out of his cardboard box and at the door. The double bed next to him was unslept in, instead strewn with newspapers and cartridge pins; he seldom slept in a bed, for it was like a death trap to him. People lying in a bed were more vulnerable to being attacked, and he only knew this too well. But this wasn't the point - the knocking continued at the door, the now-familiar soft voice calling him, and he couldn't well ignore it just like he normally did.

He slithered over to the door, still crawling in his cardboard box, and undid the bottom latch on the door. He would usually have the door locked, but this time he'd only fastened the lower side of the door just in case anything like this interrupted his 'box time'.

"It's open." He called, and crept back to the corner, still underneath the box. He heard the door open, light footsteps entering and shutting the door again. Snake stretched lightly, closing his eyes - and then the box was lifted away, revealing a inquisitive, smiling face.

"You can't hide from me, you know." Luigi teased gently, dropping the box and kneeling in front of the soldier. "Don't you ever sleep on the bed?"

"Nah." Snake grinned, a lofty expression on his face. He twirled his bandanna around his index finger. "Got too many enemies for that. What brings you here?"

Luigi rubbed his chin. "Have you got any shaving cream, Snake? Mario's away on an all-day brawl - he went away yesterday, he's not coming back until at least eight o'clock tonight - and I just found that I've run out of shaving cream. And I need to get rid of stubble."

This question caught the mercenary off-guard; he blinked at the concept, slightly confused for a second or two. Come to think of it, he'd hardly noticed that Luigi was just like all the other human males and would need to shave. His mustache, Snake supposed, took most of the attention away from the rest of his features. Luigi actually looked like he had jumped out of bed less than five minutes ago - a hint of a doze was in his eyes, his mustache was slightly flattened, and although Snake couldn't see it, his hair was rather disheveled underneath the hat.

"You look like you just rolled out of bed."

"Thanks." Luigi replied calmly. "And you're looking very feminine today, Snake. So haven't you got any shaving cream? I can just quickly go down to Smashville and get some, I suppose-"

"No, I'd prefer it if you could stay." Snake said quickly. This was one of the rare moments when he and Luigi could have a chat without trying to avoid Mario every ten minutes, and he wasn't about to lose that opportunity. "I have a can spare. Want to shave in the bathroom?"

"If you don't mind."

"Not at all." Snake smiled, and got up from his seat, leading the way to the bathroom. It was clean and well-kept, with a half-length mirror gleaming over the sink; Luigi inspected his face while Snake fumbled around in the drawers, bringing out a can of shaving cream. "Feel free to use it."

"Thanks." Luigi smiled gratefully, and took the can, inspecting it. He let out a soft whistle. "You use the best shaving cream in Smashville? It doesn't even look like you use it much..."

"I don't." Snake grinned, adjusting his bandanna. "But I _do_ like to indulge in the best. There's some shaving oil if you don't want any razor burns."

"I noticed." The younger Mario brother had filled the sink halfway with warm water, and had taken off his cap, revealing messed-up hair (Snake raised an eyebrow at this). "Don't mind my hair, please. I didn't get to sleep well last night." He poured some of the oil onto his hand and rubbed it onto the lower region of his face, peering closely into the mirror. Having done so, he took the can of shaving cream and then pressed the button, white foam gathering on his palm; during the act, Snake had leaned onto the closed door of the bathroom, watching the other man with amusement. "What?"

"It just seems funny, seeing you shave."

Luigi pouted and turned back to the mirror. "Just because you hardly ever shave yourself."

"Hey, I like my stubble." The soldier laughed, rubbing his chin lightly. Luigi merely sighed and searched in his pockets for a shaving brush, which he used to apply the cream evenly on his face; when it was done, he took up a razor and began shaving his chin free of stubble. Snake watched all this with certain fascination - he just couldn't get over the idea of Luigi shaving. He thought of the other as an innocent, rather young man, almost like a child. The way the younger Mario brother acted sometimes just added on to his boyish charm. That was probably why, the mercenary thought wryly, that the thought of Luigi shaving was so odd. To him, Luigi simply seemed much too young.

"What are you thinking?" The green-clad plumber inquired, still gazing into the mirror - he briefly dipped the razor in the water, rinsing it clean, and then started on the other side. Snake glanced at him and chuckled.

"Nothing much."

"Can't fool me." Luigi replied, deadpan. "You've got a smirk wide as today and tomorrow on your face. That obviously means you're thinking _something_."

"I thought of you helping me shave in your maid dress and calling me Master. And bringing me a bottle of champagne on a pink flowery tray." Snake laughed and moved closer to the younger Mario brother, putting an arm around his shoulder. "I haven't quite given up on that idea, you know. Perhaps when we're brawling against each other sometime we'll bet again."

"No thank you." Luigi answered politely, shaving the last few sections. "I did enjoy the Chardonnay, but then Mario caught me out. He blew his top and told me to chuck the crates away at once. After all that fuss I don't think I'd want another bet."

At the mention of Mario, Snake's grin faded slightly and he leaned forwards, eyes intense on the other's reflection. "So did you throw them away?"

"Of course not." Luigi turned around to the mercenary for the first time, a lopsided grin on his face. "What do you think I am? I've got them safe under my bed. Mario's too scared to look under there, so they'll be safe."

"And why is he so scared?"

"I once brought a hoard of Pikmin clinging to my clothes to the suite. I didn't notice them because they're so small and they weren't moving. I was too tired to care, mind you. So I fell asleep after undressing, and I kind of forgot about the clothes for a week or so - I'd pushed them under the bed - and when Mario looked under my bed to check for his FLUDD he found Pikmin spirits wandering around." Luigi was beginning to laugh at the memory, and Snake's smile was returning also. "Scared him to death, I did! He thought I'd gone _mad_ overnight and that I was starting to kill off random Smashers in the hotel!"

"Well done you." Snake joined in with the laughter, wiping tears of mirth off his eyes. "Who would have thought that _Mario_ could be scared off? Hilarious!"

Luigi grinned wide, having finished shaving his face, and began to rinse the foam from his cheeks. "There. Thanks for lending me the cream, by the way. I just need to sort out some other things first before I get out, though. I hope you don't mind?" He rinsed all the equipment, including the shaving brush and razor, and replaced both in their respective places.

"I don't mind it at all." Snake stood over the other as he washed his face, fetching a clean dry towel from a drawer. "Here, let me."

"Snake, get off- _mmmph_-" Luigi's soft protest was muffled as the soldier held him steady and began to mop the water from his face with the towel. "I can do it myself-" But Snake took no notice, and merely held the other a bit tighter, brushing the fabric over his cheek and forehead and patting the skin dry. Luigi's protests and squirming died down after a few seconds, and he stood there, looking so meek and timid that the mercenary had to restrain himself from grinning.

"All done." He finally said, taking the towel away and draping it over a radiator. "Now you'll have to comb your hair, I suppose?"

Luigi had not moved from his standing place; he stood there, a slight blush on his cheeks and blankly staring into the mirror. Snake lightly tapped him on the shoulder, and he started, eyes widening. "W-what?"

"Your hair." The mercenary reminded him gently, picking up a comb. "Or shall I do it for you?"

"You seem more concerned for my grooming than yours." The younger Mario brother laughed shakily, but did nothing to stop the other. "Can you leave the back and just comb the other sections?"

"Sure." Snake nodded, and then stood behind Luigi, one hand resting lightly on the side of his head and the other hand running the comb through his hair. Luigi's hair settled down relatively easily, he found with some interest - soon the younger Mario brother's hair was slickened and glistening in the light (except the back), well combed through, and Snake had to admit that he was pleased with his work. It wasn't often that he cared about outward appearances of other people, but with Luigi he was prepared to make an exception. The green-clad plumber always looked his best, and the mercenary wanted it to remain that way. There was very little he could do to interfere with the other's daily routine, of course, and he respected that; but if Luigi would let him do something, then he would do it right away.

Nice.

Luigi's hair felt soft and warm underneath his fingertips, and Snake lightly tousled the uncombed side with a hand, chuckling as the other wriggled around. "All done. And you'll be doing the back, I presume?"

"Yep. Thanks, Snake. I owe you big." Luigi smiled, his expression happy and content, and took up the comb himself. He turned to his side and began shaping the back part of his hair into a light cowlick, which the soldier found extremely amusing.

"You must be the only person in the world who purposefully shapes a cowlick on their head."

"Thank you." Luigi bowed slightly. "I like the style. Doesn't stay any other way even if I slick it back. So if I'm cursed with a permanent cowlick for the rest of my life, I figured that I should make the best out of it." He smiled again at the soldier. "But I do owe you big today. I would like to do something for you in return."

"No problem." Snake waved his hand in a gesture, but he did look rather flattered. "The only way I'll accept it is if you just change into that dress and help me sha-"

"Oh, get _out_ already!" Luigi gave Snake a playful shove towards the door. "You're obsessed with that idea, you know? I need to curl my mustache. Keep your crossdressing fantasies to yourself."

"Hey, it's a free country. And it's _my_ suite you're in anyway." Snake protested, but he did offer Luigi a cheeky grin as he went out through the door.

* * *

"_Gloomy Sunday_..." Snake hummed to himself, having a small peep out of his box to see whether the occupant of the bathroom was out. The door was still closed, so he turned back and began polishing his handguns again. "_Dreaming, I was only dreaming_..."

"Why so pessimistic?" Luigi's voice interrupted his humming, and the plumber placed his hands on the box, lifting it away once more. "It's such a nice day out."

"That's just me." The mercenary gave him a brief smile. "So are you done?" Sure enough, Luigi's mustache was curled fully and he looked like the usual again.

"Oh, yes. I'm done with everything." Luigi answered, his voice cheerful and bright. Snake suspected nothing. "And after one final thing, can we go down to the breakfast bar for some food? They're serving cookies and chocolate muffins today."

"Cookies, eh?" The mercenary stood up, the younger Mario brother following suit. "I'll be having some of that. So what was that one final thing?"

The green-clad plumber smiled innocently at him. "Care to explain _why_ you have a tied-up Yoshi in your bathroom closet?"

"Ah. Crap."


	9. 09: Brawl Within a Brawl

**Author's Note:** An extremely humourless chapter. This is just about as depressing as it gets, I should think. I don't plan to kill off anyone in this collection... except perhaps for a certain green dinosaur that respawns anyway... yeah.

Mario and Snake rivalry in here. (There's not much Luigi in this chapter for a very good reason.) And I must say, the Mario in the 'Negative Zone' chapter is an extremely lighthearted Mario compared to this. If the same thing happened with the Mario in this chapter, he wouldn't bother with words. He would just go and tear Snake into pieces. In fact, the only even mildly gentle part of this Mario is that he treats Yoshi a bit like a pet. O.o

But as evil and selfish as I write Mario, you've got to feel a bit sorry for the guy. All he really wants to do is to keep Luigi close where he can keep an eye on him and be caring brothers together. He just can't accept the fact that it isn't that easy. Sooner or later Luigi was bound to wander off in a different direction.

Enough with the rambling... and on with the story.

* * *

"Next up, Princess Peach versus Princess Zelda... please get ready for your brawl. Your brawl location is Rumble Falls. The match will commence in five minutes." The loudspeakers boomed from above. Solid Snake glanced up, pausing in the middle of his lunch; he was eating a few pieces of onigiri that he and Luigi had made together that morning. The aforementioned plumber was sitting across the table from him, eating as well but ignoring the speakers. "In thirty minutes... I repeat, in thirty minutes... next brawl will be between Luigi... Solid Snake... Yoshi... and Mario. Your brawl location is Shadow Moses Island. Please make any necessary preparations now." The pictures of the four were displayed on the screen behind them as the speaker read out their names, and then it fell silent.

"Great." Snake sighed and sank down onto the chair again, brooding. "Just the one person that I didn't want to brawl with."

"Yoshi?" Luigi inquired, a half-eaten onigiri in his hand. "Mind you, you can't really blame him. You traumatised him by locking him up."

"What, that piece of walking steak?" The mercenary flicked a grain of rice at the plumber, a grim smile on his face. "Never mind that. I can always try again. But I'm not talking about Yoshi right now. I'm talking about _him_." He jerked his thumb towards Mario's picture. Luigi looked over; his face fell, and he quietly bowed his head, taking a half-hearted bite out of his lunch.

"I know that Mario's being hard on you." He said softly, his voice sad and somewhat tired. "I'm sorry for that. It looks like he's not going to let go as easily after all."

"Not your fault." Snake replied, regretting his choice of words. He'd quite forgotten that talking about Mario so dismissively in front of Luigi was not the best thing to be doing. "I apologize. But then, he's being unreasonable-"

"I know he is." Luigi's eyes were dark and dull as he recalled the argument between Snake and Mario two weeks prior. "He- he doesn't know that I've listened to that argument. And I don't dare tell him. When I returned to the suite that day Mario was just sitting on his bed and sulking. He didn't even ask me where I'd been. He hasn't really spoken to me since then." He looked around furtively, and then lowered his voice.

"Snake, I think Mario kind of hates me at the moment."

"That's rubbish!" The mercenary instantly blurted out, making Marth and Captain Olimar on the other table stare at them in surprise. The six Pikmin around the little Captain huddled closer to him, whimpering, and he patted them with a gloved hand.

"There, there." Captain Olimar soothed in a small voice, hugging a blue Pikmin close. "Nothing's going to happen, all right?"

"Wow." Marth noted, eyes wide. "You... _talk_, Olimar?"

Snake glanced at them for a second, and then lowered his voice, already regretting his short-tempered action: "Mario's your brother! He can't _hate_ you, not like that!" He shook his head disbelievingly, still staring at the green-clad plumber. "My God. How can you stand it?"

"...Forget what I said. It was stupid. Mario gets moody every now and then." Luigi laughed nervously, and finished off his onigiri in two bites, taking a long sip of apple juice. "I'd like to think that this is just one of his moods... and that it'll be over and he'll see the light soon." He looked at Snake, a somewhat pleading light in his eyes; the soldier could see that Luigi had actually let on far more than he had intended by saying that Mario 'hated him' and now he was just trying to hide it. Nevertheless he respected Luigi, and it would be wiser to not pursue the matter for any longer. "Snake, Mario's still my only brother and the guardian I've had for a decade and a half. It's not just a case of abandoning him because he's being horrible at one point."

"And look at all you do for him while brawling." Snake said bitterly, and he closed the lid on his lunch as he'd lost his appetite. The younger Mario brother had nothing to say for that; it was true, he would often watch out for his older brother when they were in the same matches (unless he was trying to win). "You won't even allow him to get battered more than necessary."

"I know." Luigi replied softly. When Mario was KO'ed in the middle of a match, Luigi would abandon his attacks and run out to where his brother was, and carry him to the sidelines where he would be safe from the rest of that battle. Doing this left him vulnerable and open, and occasionally resulted in his downfall also, but Luigi wouldn't have it any other way. Snake had noticed this a long time ago, but had not said anything to the other - until now. "But... well, it's a brotherly thing. I would like to think that he'd do the same for me if I was KO'ed."

"Hmm." The mercenary doubted this, but knew that it was time to end the discussion; he didn't want to make the other any more uncomfortable. "We'll see about that."

* * *

"Next up... Luigi, Solid Snake, Yoshi and Mario... Please get ready for your brawl. Your brawl location is Shadow Moses Island. The match will commence in five minutes."

Snake stretched slightly as the loudspeakers announced the details of their battle. Luigi was leaning back in his chair, eyes closed, body splayed out; the soldier glanced at him, and shook him lightly. "Don't go falling asleep on me now."

Luigi didn't reply.

"Nervous?"

A little nod.

Snake chuckled lightly, patting the other's head. "You're in familiar territory, Luigi. Remember visiting me so many times in Shadow Moses? You should get through this without any problems."

"I hope so," The younger Mario brother sighed, looking ill at ease. "go easy on me, Snake?"

"I will," To ease the other's nervousness, Snake sat down with him and placed an arm around his shoulders. "seeing as we're brawling, I would like to bet again. You know, with the maid dress and the pink flowery tray-"

"No," Luigi said simply, but he smiled. "no more perverted bets, Snake. I told you that."

Snake sighed. "You're no fun," But the soldier returned the smile also. Luigi was a lot more relaxed now, and that was good - he wasn't going to have the younger Mario brother all tense and worried. That would be disastrous for his performance in the brawl. He stood up and extended a hand in Luigi's direction. "come on, let's go. We better show for the Shadow Moses Island brawl now."

"Must we?" The green-clad plumber didn't seem much happier at the news, but took Snake's hand and followed him out of the waiting room. The arena was all ready for them, none of the other Smashers having arrived yet; Snake and Luigi stood in position, waiting for the two Smashers to arrive.

"Yoshi!" A cute little chirp suddenly rang through the air, and Yoshi burst through the door, happy and laughing. Mario was the last to come into the arena, only acknowledging Luigi with a slight nod and a smile; he ignored Snake, staring into thin air as if he didn't exist.

"Welcome." Master Hand's voice boomed from the loudspeakers, and everyone fell silent. "Welcome to the eighty-fourth brawl of Shadow Moses Island. This is a timed brawl, with the Smasher with the least damage automatically winning the brawl in the case of a time out. Your time limit is ten minutes." He paused to let the meaning of his words sink in for a second.

"Three... two... one... Go!" Master Hand's voice counted down, and as the 'Go' sounded, four Smashers leaped at each other.

* * *

"God-damn it...!" Snake snarled softly as Yoshi dodged his missile shot; he had been so confident that it would hit. Rubbing his chin (he had been punched by Mario only moments before), he decided to make a run for it for the time being and swung himself right up to the top. Only he and Luigi knew the proper route up there - any other Smasher trying to get to the top only by using the platforms would fail every time, unless they happened to pick the right way to go.

Snake briefly glanced up at the giant screen above; he was the highest damaged with sixty-three percent damage. Yoshi was next, with sixty per cent. Then Mario, with thirty-seven percent. And the least damaged one was Luigi with twelve percent. He could deal with that. With that in mind, Snake nodded to himself and began running again.

Luigi was going perfectly well, Snake observed; he was sticking to his usual tactics and staying well away from the heat of the battle. He would rather take a few punches and attacks than let Luigi get hurt - he knew that this brawl was kind of important to the other, and he respected that. Snake smiled lightly to himself and dodged a tongue attack from Yoshi, burying a mine in the ground and jumping up a platform. Mario followed suit, his eyes narrowed and suspicious; it was as if he had read the mercenary's thoughts, and he began focusing his attacks only on Snake, ignoring everyone around him. But overall, this brawl was a perfectly normal one. Yoshi had flown at Mario, hitting him smack on the face with his long, sticky tongue, and this gave the mercenary a chance to get away. Snake dropped down to where Luigi was, and stood about thirty yards away from him, catching his breath and giving Luigi a brief thumbs-up.

Disaster struck mere seconds later.

The right-side pillar of the arena had broken down by someone; in the space of two seconds, with only Snake paying attention, Luigi was hit square on the chest by a stray attack from a Smasher (none of them ever found out whose attack it had been) and went flying backwards, teetering at the edge. His eyes were wide, his lips parted in surprise, but he still held on - and just as he was about to recover, a piece of rubble struck him on the head. With a soft 'Oh!', he was thrown violently on the ground and lay still, motionless.

"No!" Snake's cry was drowned out by the noise of the battle raging above him. He quickly glanced up; Mario and Yoshi were engaged in a particularly fierce battle, and had failed to notice that Luigi had been knocked out. Cursing the red-clad plumber for his neglect of his own younger brother, Snake ran towards the limp green body and turned him over. "Luigi... Luigi, no... wake up..."

Luigi didn't respond, and only held limp in his arms, eyes closed and face deathly pale. His cap had fallen to the ground, his light brown hair spilling out on the floor in a mess. A trickle of blood was running down his cheek, along with a bruise forming on his forehead, but he was breathing and didn't seem to be badly hurt otherwise. He had not exactly been KO'ed nor had lost a life; what had knocked him out was not an attack from a Smasher, nor a valid item used in brawls. And it was precisely because of that that Luigi could not recover properly, as that sort of damage wasn't registered. He wouldn't last long here; by all means Luigi was still considered to be in the brawl and was capable of being hurt even more. Snake looked up for any signs of Mario, but found none; the red-clad plumber was still much too engaged in battle to even notice, and wasn't going to help anytime soon.

"So much for an older brother." Snake whispered bitterly to himself. But three and a half minutes had passed already and there was yet another few minutes to go. He had to act fast, there was no time to lose - he thought quickly, and did what Luigi himself usually did for Mario. He picked the green-clad man up in his arms, and began walking to the sidelines, where he would be safe for the time being. Then he could request to end the session in a No Contest.

Things were not as simple, however. Mario had managed to wrestle Yoshi away onto the arena below, and spun around wildly looking for Snake. He found the soldier on the ground, holding Luigi in his arms and gently laying him down on the sidelines - and this image angered him more than anything ever could have done. While he'd been distracted Luigi had gone down, but it hadn't been Mario who had noticed first - no, it had to be _him_, that _damned_ soldier out of everyone possible. And what was worse, Snake was caring for Luigi and completely ignoring everything else. It was as if Mario didn't even _matter_, and he couldn't stand it.

"Get your hands _off _him!" Mario shouted, fists clenched. Snake whirled around, a sudden expression of fury on his face, but the red-clad plumber didn't care. He jumped down the platforms and ran towards Snake, roughly shoving him away from Luigi and kneeling down.

"L-Luigi?" He called shakily, lightly shaking his brother by the shoulders. "What... how..."

"Stop shaking him!" Snake retorted angrily from the side, pulling Mario away. The latter snatched his hands away from the mercenary's grip, looking furious. "You're just making it worse!"

"What have you done to him?" Mario shouted, red patches of anger showing on his face. "What have you done to my brother? I told you to stay away from him!"

"A lot _you_ care!" The soldier yelled back; he wasn't the type to get angry easily, but this time his self-control went out of the window and he hardly knew that he was shouting. "When you go down in matches, Luigi's the one who carries you back to the sidelines, risking his own chances for _you_. He was hit by rubble at least a few minutes back, and you were far too busy fighting to see it! How do you not notice that, when there's a screen right up there showing you what's going on? What kind of an older brother are you?"

Mario looked as if he'd been slapped hard on the face; and all the resentment he felt for Snake just burst out of him at that moment of fury. "You think I don't care?" He shot at the mercenary. "Everything I've done up until now - everything in the past years - and you still think that I don't care for Luigi? I've looked after him whenever he was hurt-" He began to wipe the blood from his younger brother's cheek as he said this. "-always took his side... until _you_ took him away from me!"

Snake threw his head back and let out a mirthless laugh. "Well, maybe you should have noticed that a long time ago!"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Luigi was fed up, can't you see? You were too caught up in your own fame to even notice that you were driving him away!" The mercenary pointed an accusing finger at the plumber. "While you sulked and waited for Luigi to give you his attention, he came to me and talked, all because he felt that you didn't want him around any more. All you did was to make him feel guilty for everything and you didn't even care!"

"Don't you _dare_!" Mario shouted, livid; his fists were enveloped in a fiery light as he subconsciously began charging up for an attack. "Don't you dare talk about Luigi... _us_ like that!"

"...Yoshi?"

They both spun around at this unexpected addition. Yoshi was standing there, watching the shouting match between the two Smashers, looking extremely confused; they had both quite forgotten that this was meant to be a brawl, and that Yoshi existed. The three just stood there and looked at each other - until the bell rang for the end of brawl.

"Time out!" The loudspeakers came on. They'd run out of time whilst arguing, and the glow surrounding Mario's fists disappeared, followed by the sound of Snake's mine trap exploding a few metres away; no attacks could be made in the arena when the brawl was over. "As the least damaged Smasher... the winner is Mario!"

Mario did not whoop for joy at this news, nor did he do anything much; he just stood there, head bowed, a grim expression on his face. As winner he would be expected to sign the Shadow Moses log for that day before he left, but all he really wanted was to take his brother back to the suite. Yoshi went up to him and nuzzled his waist, and he mindlessly stroked the creature's head; yes, he'd won, he'd triumphed over Solid Snake... he'd won the brawl. But he didn't feel any better; in fact, he felt _worse_ as he saw Snake walk away from the scene, pull out a handkerchief and gently wipe the blood off Luigi's cheek. There was no trace of hatred nor anger in the mercenary's face anymore. There was just concern and quiet acceptance of his defeat - and care. For Luigi.

And he couldn't stand it.

"Mr. Mario?" A small R.O.B. was standing next to him with the Shadow Moses Island log in its hands. "Just a quick signature, please..." Mario looked at the robot for a while, but suddenly snatched up a pen and scribbled his name on the small book, tossing it back to R.O.B. "Thank you..." The robot bowed and slid out of the doors. Having finished that, Mario looked towards Snake and Luigi again, a cold numbness taking over his mind. Yoshi whimpered next to him, but he didn't take notice - and began walking towards the two with resigned footsteps.

Snake was just checking Luigi's pulse and cleaning the cut on his cheek when a shadow fell over him. Glancing up, he found Mario standing before him, head bowed.

"I'm taking him back to our suite." The red-clad plumber stated quietly, no more anger in his voice. Snake opened his mouth to argue, but shut it again as he saw the expression on the other's face; they'd both really gone too far this time, and he couldn't make it any more worse. Before Luigi had become a friend of his, Snake would have stubbornly argued his way to victory no matter what. But there was no time to waste arguing now. He and Mario had said more than enough.

So he stood up and moved back, watching silently as Mario picked up Luigi in his arms and walked away without another word, only stopping once to pick up his brother's green cap from the floor. Yoshi tagged along behind him, throwing Snake a nervous, confused gaze - and then the doors closed, and the mercenary was left alone.

He must have been there for some time.

"Mr. Snake... do you plan to stay here?" The R.O.B. returned again, tugging lightly at his clothes. The soldier looked down. "Shadow Moses Island will not be used again today. If you wish to stay here..."

"Yeah." Snake said absent-mindedly. "I'll stay... nowhere else to go..."

"Then the doors will remain unlocked." The robot bowed and left, leaving the mercenary alone again. His fists clenched tightly - but then relaxed as he found that he was still clutching his handkerchief. The fabric was darkly stained with Luigi's blood, and he stared blankly at it, before folding it up and tucking it away in his pockets. It would serve as a reminder to never start anything like the argument again. He stood still for a minute or so, and then suddenly turned away, jumping up to the very top floor; once he was at his and Luigi's favourite hide-out spot, he stopped and pulled a cardboard box over himself, hiding away from the rest of the world.

"I need a smoke." He whispered to himself, pulling out a cigarette. He hadn't smoked in a week; he knew that the Smashers didn't like the smell hanging around him, and neither Meta Knight or Luigi had really approved of him smoking. Besides, he hadn't felt like he had to light up. But he was alone now, bitter and still rather angry - and _something_ needed to be done to calm himself down at least for a while. The soldier pulled out a lighter and lit up, not caring about the smoke filling up the interior of his box.

Snake had never felt so lonely in such a long time. His box felt unbearably empty that evening.

* * *

"Mario!" Princess Peach smiled as the red-clad plumber came onto sight. "Did you win? How was Shadow-" She stopped and stared, bewildered, as Mario pushed past her with a dark look on his face. "Is - is that Luigi? What happened to him?"

"Leave me alone." Mario said quietly, and then without another word entered his suite and shut the door in her face. The princess drew back, startled; the plumber had never been so cold before, and his sudden change frightened her. But something told her to leave him alone in the suite, and she obediently followed her instincts, turning away and departing towards her own room. She might be able to get something out of him next time. With one last uneasy glance, Princess Peach left the corridor.

Meanwhile, Mario was facing a just-as confusing turmoil within himself. He'd laid down Luigi on his bed, pulling the covers over his brother and keeping him warm. He set Luigi's cap down on the bedside table and sat down by the bed, carefully stroking his brother's forehead; a deep bruise had settled there, marring the smooth pale skin. The cut on his cheek had stopped bleeding, but it was still there, still ominous in Mario's eyes.

Yoshi had followed the red-clad plumber in, and now he laid his head on Mario's lap, letting out a soft croon in an attempt to soothe him. Mario stroked his head absent-mindedly, but then pushed hum away lightly from the bed.

"Out, Yoshi." He called quietly, gesturing at the door. "Out now. There's a good boy."

Yoshi sighed, drooping, and slowly made his way out of the door, back to his own room. Mario was left alone with Luigi now, and no more closer to sorting out his problems than he had been five minutes ago. The plumber patted his brother's head, rare affection in his eyes, before he left him and and went back into his own room. Once back there, he fell onto the bed and closed his eyes, clutching his head. Suddenly, Mario hated Snake more than ever - he hated the mercenary for turning Luigi against him, he hated him for telling him what was essentially the bitter truth. He even hated Luigi for failing to understand just how much he did care. But most of all, he despised himself - for letting his own brother get injured, and for being stupid enough to waste time arguing when he could have done more for Luigi.

Why had he done it?

It came without saying that Mario was already regretting the argument he'd had with Snake. The soldier had been right again; he'd been pushing Luigi away all this time, all because he'd wanted him to beg for more attention. He was used to Luigi being like that. And once the younger Mario brother had made friends with the mercenary, Mario's resentment had grown deeper, not just towards Snake but at Luigi too. Perhaps, if he had been more tolerant of the soldier and his brother's friendship, Luigi wouldn't have ever been injured.

But then, Mario's own bitterness towards Snake pushed the regret to one side. The fact that he himself had failed to protect his own brother - instead letting a third party intervene - weighed down upon him heavily, and he just couldn't get over it. The cold numbness took over his mind again, covering up his love and care he had for Luigi, hatred at Snake and at himself, his feelings about the two's friendship - until he was completely numb and couldn't feel anything.

"It isn't my fault..." Mario muttered to himself, nestling deeper into the sheets. "It - it isn't... _my_ fault..."

He felt tears prickling at his eyes, but pushed it back. He was the older one. He had to be strong. He didn't cry, and most definitely _not_ in the same suite with his younger brother.

"Damn it," He swore instead, burying his face into the sheets and punching the soft pillows. "Damn it... _Damn_ it..."

It was a long time before he got to sleep.


	10. 10: Little Gifts

**Author's Note:** Me is back with another update! And it's now been a full month since this story went online. I would like to thank everyone for the lovely reviews - without your support I wouldn't have gotten as far as this in the first place! Again, thank you so much!

I realize that this story's getting a little pervy. O.o Maybe it's just me being used to (attempting to) writing seductive males. But in this story Snake and Luigi are friends. Friends.

Although their friendship borders almost on lurve. Hehee. Imagine them getting Rule 34'ed - so I'd better write some more friendship before this becomes established as a crack pairing. Eep.

And Luigi wears striped socks. Just look at his artwork in Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga. It's disturbingly cute.

* * *

A figure in a black, tight shirt and jeans peered around the corner of Shadow Moses Island, looking around here and there. A spotlight swept by, and he drew back for a second or so - before heaving a sigh.

"Not here... Damn it, where is he?" This was none other than the famed mercenary, Solid Snake; it was a Saturday and he wasn't brawling (for a very good reason too), so he had changed into a more comfortable attire. He didn't usually wear those clothes often, which was why some Smashers actually failed to recognize him when he went past them. If it weren't for the blue bandanna he wore, Snake would have been completely unrecognizable.

"Ow..." He muttered to himself as a flare of pain shot down his back. He had been hurt during the afternoon brawl the day before, and had a bad back as a result. But that wasn't his primary concern at the moment. He was more intent on finding where a certain green-clad plumber was.

Snake sighed again and exited the island, staring broodingly out onto the horizon. He'd tried Green Greens, Rumble Falls, Halberd, even Smashville... but he hadn't found Luigi anywhere. And he didn't dare go to the plumbers' suite and ask for Luigi. It was one o'clock now, and going to every possible brawling arenas to find Luigi would take hours. So where was he? He hadn't seen the plumber for three whole days... It was boring without company. Snake didn't when he had become so dependent on Luigi's company, for he had been perfectly fine alone before; but finding the younger Mario brother was his priority now.

So where could he go to?

"Anything I can do to help, Sir?" The Shadow Moses Island R.O.B. came out and looked up at him, its eye-lenses glittering in the sun. Snake looked down and was about to send the robot away when a sudden idea struck him.

"R.O.B., can you check if there are any vacant arenas today? I'm looking for someone and I haven't time to look at every possible location."

"Certainly." The robot's eyes faded for a while as it complied with the request. Snake waited patiently for a minute or so, before R.O.B. blinked and looked up again. "Shadow Moses Island, Green Greens, Halberd, Rumble Falls, Final Destination and Smashville are vacant as of now."

Not good enough. He'd looked at all those places, and _hell_ if he was going to Final Destination again. There was nowhere to hide there anyway.

"Is that all?"

"There is one more. It is a hidden location - would you like to hear it?"

"Please." The mercenary insisted. Luigi wasn't likely to be anywhere that the robot had stated so far. "What is the location?"

"Luigi's Mansion is currently vacant."

Snake drew in his breath. He'd completely forgotten about the fact that Luigi owned a mansion of his own - why hadn't he thought of that sooner? Besides, the whole area was Luigi's. He had the rights to say whether that stage could be used or not, just like Meta Knight (who had rights over the Halberd stage). It would make perfect sense for Luigi to be there, alone. "That helped a lot. Thank you."

"You're welcome." The robot bowed and disappeared into the arena. Snake watched him leave, and without saying anything more he turned in the direction of Luigi's Mansion - it was an half-hour walk. Not too far, and definitely worth trying.

* * *

Snake strolled into the overgrown lawn, the fireflies scattering as he walked through. One thing about Luigi's Mansion was that it was always dark; the only thing that changed every now and then was the moon. It was a full moon up this time. He looked up briefly, listening our for any signs of life, before shrugging and entering the mansion.

Once he was inside, he briefly considered calling out; but he didn't want that. He was feeling rather uncomfortable already in such an unnaturally silent area. So he kept his mouth shut and closed the door behind him, the sudden thud of the heavy hinged wood on wood making him start slightly. The whole place was quiet and dark, with the main area's chandelier swinging ominously to and fro - but then even that stopped, and Snake was left alone in a completely silent, deserted area.

The mercenary didn't fear the dark. What made him uneasy was the fact that the whole place was just too quiet; quiet places made him feel uncomfortable, as if anything suspicious could pop out at any second. He climbed the staircase, wondering if anything would fall apart at any second.

A creak sounded from the corridor.

Snake jogged lightly down the corridor, marvelling at the amount of rooms in the place. One door was slightly ajar, and he peered inside to see a collection of antique furniture and a luxurious double bed, unused and dusty but still beautiful - did Luigi own all of this? Save for all the cobwebs and other things in the mansion, with everything tidied up a little and a few lights here and there this place would be the best ever...

"Yoshi..." A small squeak sounded from the balcony. Snake made a beeline for the source of the sound - and what he saw was a huge relief.

Luigi was sitting there, looking up at the full moon above and absent-mindedly stroking Yoshi's head. The creature was purring and crooning at the gentle touch; he briefly rolled away from Luigi to look at the mercenary approaching them, and tensed slightly, ready to defend his friend and himself in case of a fight.

"Down, Yoshi." Luigi murmured, and Snake was momentarily surprised at how soft his voice was. "Good boy. It's all right." He turned around, not surprised at all to see the soldier standing there. In fact, Luigi was smiling and looked vaguely sad, but that was it. Even the long cut on his cheek had healed. "Long time no see, Snake."

"I was worried about you." Snake replied quietly, sitting down next to the younger Mario brother. "You haven't been out for three days. You weren't in any of the brawl schedules, and neither was Mario..." He trailed off, not sure if the other knew about his and Mario's argument a few days prior. It appeared that Luigi didn't know, as he merely cocked his head to one side and looked at Snake inquisitively.

"What's been happening?"

"Everyone's been the usual." The mercenary answered, still looking into the green-clad plumber's eyes. "I got myself a bad back from a brawl yesterday. Ganondorf chucked me down from Final Destination. And my back is killing me."

Luigi's eyes turned sympathetic and he sat up, gently touching the mercenary's back. "Does it really hurt?"

"Can't complain... but I can't brawl for a couple of days." Snake winced slightly at the touch, and the plumber instantly drew back. "But as I was saying... Meta Knight and Jigglypuff really missed seeing you, you know. And Olimar attempted to use his Pikmin to sneak into my suite and place a watermelon on my desk. Apparently it was for you, but the only number he knew was my suite number."

"A watermelon?" Luigi repeated, looking confused and rather curious. "What the heck? What did you do with it?"

Snake laughed softly and rubbed his head. "It didn't fit through the gap on the door, you see. So he gave up and trudged five staircases down to his own suite with the Pikmin behind him. I heard it from Captain Falcon."

Luigi 'hmm'ed, looking thoughtful. "...Why a watermelon, though?"

"You know Olimar. He associates everything according to colour. Look at the way he arranges his Pikmin." Snake answered gently, putting an arm around the other. The younger Mario brother complied and leaned onto the mercenary, chuckling softly. "And the first thing people notice when looking at you - I think it's the colour green. Olimar sees you like that. And I guess he's a champion at growing and moving things from fresh soil, so there you go. A watermelon."

"Mmm. That makes sense." Luigi leaned back, looking up at the moon again. "When I woke up, I was in our suite and it was morning. Mario was next to me when I woke up... and he told me what had happened..."

"What did he say?"

"He said that the brawl was a day before, and that I was knocked out for a long time. 'Snake found you and brought you to the sidelines', he said - and then he just got up and walked out of the room. He hasn't talked properly to me since." Luigi sighed softly and lowered his head. "I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Sometimes I just think that I'm being a burden to Mario..."

"You're not a burden to anyone." Snake said firmly. "Don't think like that. It's not anyone's fault that you were KO'ed." As he said this, he couldn't help but marvel at the fact that Mario hadn't said anything much about him to the green-clad plumber. He'd expected Mario to mouth him off like crazy and never even mention the mercenary's name; but that was something he would have to think about later. Snake didn't say anything more, just sitting there with Luigi and enjoying the silence. Yoshi was sitting at their feet, poking around in the cracked floorboards for any items, and the mercenary let the creature be.

Just this once, really. Any time after this, he'd succeed for once and get to just _eat_ the darned Yoshi...

"What's the time?" The green-clad plumber asked. Snake looked at his watch face, illuminated by the milky light of the moon - "It's permanently dark here, you know... But is it later than half past one?"

"It's one fifty-three."

"That explains why I've been hurting so much..." Luigi muttered, and pulled off his hat. Snake could still see the dark bruise on his forehead. The green-clad man reached inside his pockets, bringing out something small; he brought it up to his mouth and bit into it, chewing. "Mmm. Can't complain."

Snake watched all this with interest. "Is that a kind of medication?"

"Nah." Luigi reached into his pockets again and fumbled for a second, finally bringing out a bunch of something green. "They're a delicacy back from the Mushroom Kingdom. Me and Mario brought a whole crate of those when we came here." Snake looked over, and a most curious sight greeted him; at first glance they looked extraordinarily like mushrooms. Just plain mushrooms. But when looked at more closely, they were glowing with a warm, soft green light, and were patterned with little white spots here and there. It was quite unlike anything he'd ever seen before, and the mercenary didn't quite know what to say for a minute or so.

"...They're glowing." He finally said.

"Yes." Luigi replied with a smile - and then he took one out and tucked away the rest. "Indeed they are, Snake."

"What... are they?"

The younger Mario brother didn't give a direct reply to this, and pressed the mushroom into Snake's hand. The mercenary inspected the little mushroom closely, only to let out a yelp of shock and nearly drop the item on the ground.

"Holy..." Snake exclaimed, drawing back and wincing as his back popped. "Luigi... this thing has _eyes_!"

"Obviously." Luigi answered, looking perfectly calm. This statement was true; the green mushroom did have a pair of black, beady eyes, which stared blankly into thin air. "They all have eyes. Come to the Mushroom Kingdom sometime and look around. _Everything_ has eyes in our land. Even the clouds and hills."

"My God." Snake murmured weakly, still staring at the mushroom. "How can you live in a place like that? I mean... This is a bloody mushroom. It's not supposed to have _eyes_."

The green-clad plumber seemed sympathetic, but in reality he was actually very much amused. "...You aren't the Snake who tried to eat Pikmin, regardless of whether they have eyes or not. What have you done to the _real _Snake?"

"Oh, shut up." The mercenary snapped, pouting a little. "That's different. Pikmin are animals... plants... whatever, they're moving beings. They're meant to have eyes! Mushrooms, on the other hand, are _not_ meant to have facial features!"

"They do in our land. And those are called 1-UPs." Luigi explained, holding one in his hand. "They have the power to revive fainted people, and also calls for extra lives... and they heal quite well, too. A full week with two of those every day heals just about any injuries you have. Less days if three are taken."

"So you're taking them to get rid of that bruise?" Luigi nodded.

"It doesn't hurt, but it still doesn't look too good... so I'm getting rid of it."

"Hmm... sounds useful... why don't you take them in brawls, then?"

The plumber laughed softly, rubbing his head. "They're too powerful. It's considered cheating to take them in brawls. I know, because Mario tried once. I can only use them outside brawls and only at that time. Besides... these are rare and expensive. I think me and Mario cleared out the entire stock of the Kingdom's mushrooms when we came here."

Snake let out a low 'hmph' and took the mushroom from Luigi again, wincing as the floorboards creaked beneath him. "...Can you cook this?"

"Nope. You eat them raw."

"Shame." The soldier murmured, turning the item over in his hands. "...1-UP and Yoshi casserole? That sounded absolutely perfect-"

"No." The green-clad plumber said simply. "Just give up already, Snake."

The mercenary stuck his tongue out at Luigi, which was an extremely uncharacteristic act for him. "There's no stopping _this_ guy, you know. Once I settle on a thought I tend to act on it." He grinned, showing gleaming white teeth. "Oh, the time will come when your little pet is no more..."

"Oh, be quiet already!" Luigi laughed, giving the other a playful push. The soldier chuckled in response, pulling the other man down with him; they found themselves splayed on the floor of the mansion, both laughing and quite out of breath. They didn't say anything more, instead just enjoying each other's company and the occasional shuffling as Yoshi poked at a floorboard. Luigi kicked off his shoes and laid back, staring up at the large moon, and Snake looked down at the plumber's feet. He raised an eyebrow.

"...Red striped socks?"

"Um... yeah." Luigi blushed and chuckled lightly. "I like striped socks. Call me childish, but I've had striped socks for years... This pair is quite worn now. I always get Mario's left-over stuff when it comes to gloves, socks... and things... But it makes me who I am." He reached up to lightly tug at the other's bandanna. "It's a little like your bandanna. Think of it that way."

"This thing is _old_." Snake answered, winding one end of it around his finger as he usually did. He flicked the strip of fabric away and laid back next to Luigi. "I've had this for years now. I should go and change it, I suppose. But then I wouldn't be... you know... _me_."

"Why not?" The green-clad man asked idly. "As long as you keep on trying to eat Yoshi, and chase after apparently-edible Smashers, and hide in the cardboard box... you'll always be Solid Snake to me. I'll know simply by thinking about just how much of a psycho you really are."

"Thanks." Snake replied with a mock-bow and a laugh. He turned on his side and looked at Luigi, a faint smile on his face. "...I missed you the last three days. It's not much fun without you."

"And I missed you too." Luigi answered, his voice quiet and sincere. "I'm sick of lying on my bed and taking 1-UPs twice a day, and doing nothing else. Mario's going away tomorrow on a battle royale-style brawl, and I'm expected to attend a brawl for an hour or so tomorrow afternoon in the Pokemon Stadium. That's why I came out today to just breathe some fresh air and see people. Heights make me dizzy at the moment, so I didn't go to Shadow Moses... but I'm glad you found me here."

"You had Yoshi with you."

"But this Yoshi can't talk to me." Yoshi, as if he heard them, got up and blinked at the two Smashers, looking rather confused. Luigi made a 'come here' motion at the creature, and Yoshi came bounding forwards, lying down next to the plumber and curling up slightly. "Whilst you can, with all your chatter about food..."

"You talk as if my main priority is food."

Luigi coughed lightly. "It actually is, you know."

* * *

"Hey! WAKE UP! IT'S A BEAUTIFUL MORNING!"

"Get away from the microphone!" Master Hand's panicked voice came after this short burst of insane screaming. Snake winced and lifted up a corner of his cardboard box; the speakers in the corner of the room were crackling, an unfortunately-famillar cackling coming from them. "Erm... I apologize for the interruption, Smashers. That was Crazy Hand just now. Today is Sunday... so as you would know, no brawls. I apologize once again!" And then the speakers fell silent.

"What idiots." The mercenary mumbled darkly, and shifted beneath his box, trying to get himself some more sleep. But he was awake now, and as annoyed as he was, he had no choice but to get up. He reluctantly pushed off the box and lay on the floor for a moment, trying to grasp his bearings. He was always so disoriented in the morning - not the best sign for a soldier. He got up and went straight to the little coffee machine on the counter, pouring the powdered beans and mindlessly making himself a cup of coffee. He would need it.

"Ugh..." He muttered as his back creaked. It was more stiff today. If he didn't deal with it soon it would get worse and hinder him...

A thud sounded from outside.

Instantly alert, he turned off the coffee machine and quickly hid under a cardboard box. Oversensitive, some might have called him, but in his point of view such things were no laughing matter. And he wasn't about to take any chances - the last time he'd ignored something like this, his door had been blown off by Bowser, who fudged the entire thing as a mistake by claiming that he thought 'Mario and his little brother were living there'. And then there had been that annoying little boy - Toon Link? - who had thought it necessary to carve a triforce on the soldier's door. Very funny indeed.

But the thud didn't sound threatening. A series of footsteps began drawing closer to his room after the initial sound, hinting that the owner of the footsteps had business to take care of in this corridor and possibly with the Smashers on this floor. He held his breath and listened. The footsteps were slow, and steady, yet somewhat nervous; Snake heard the footsteps approach his door and pause there for a couple of seconds, and then a small rustling on the ground. Then the footsteps began moving again; but this time they were faster, going back the direction they came in as the owner of the footsteps scuttled away.

"What the - hey!" The mercenary opened his door and hollered down the corridor. He glanced at the stairway, seeing a brief flash of green dart upstairs; but then there was nothing more. It had certainly been odd - Snake looked down and saw something that he hadn't expected.

A small gift box, nicely made out of black cardboard and tied with a red ribbon, was on the ground. A tag was on it that read 'To Snake'. The words were typed in, so there was no clue as to who had sent the present - feeling excited, yet also wary, he gingerly picked up the box and closed the door.

Nothing happened - so he could assume that it wasn't a bomb or anything like that. But he wouldn't know until he'd opened it. He set the gift down onto his desk first; and then, very slowly, he untied the red ribbon and lifted up the lid.

And looked. Silently.

It took his bewildered mind a few moments to take in what was in the box. Six 1-UP mushrooms, all neatly bundled up together and glowing faintly, were nestled within the box wrapped in pink tissue paper. There was also a dark green roll of a strip of fabric, and a piece of paper folded in half; Snake took out the note first and then opened it, his eyes travelling over each handwritten word.

_Snake -_

_I know you have a bad back, and that you'll need to brawl pretty soon - so here are some 1-UPs. They're a bit bitter at first, but they heal like nothing else. Take them three times every day and your back will be cured in no time; perhaps you might even have one or two left! They're all yours, and if you need more, give me a whisper._

_Oh... and you mentioned that your bandanna was old... I hope that this one suits you well. _

_Yours, Luigi._

Snake, still in a daze, put the note down and took out the roll of fabric. The bandanna was a rich dark green colour, unfurling easily in his hand, and was made of a soft, but strong material. This wouldn't wear away for a long time. The mercenary sat down, the bandanna still in his hands, feeling rather breathless; this wasn't anything that he'd ever expected that Luigi would do.

Suddenly, a genuine smile lit up his features, and he held the box close. It wasn't like him to act like this, just like a schoolgirl; but he couldn't help it. He knew that 1-UPs were precious, and that Smashers usually didn't give to each other without a mutual agreement. Yet Luigi had given him this little present, without asking for anything in little heartfelt gift had made him feel different, made him feel happy...

He stood up and placed the lid back on the gift box, gently tucking it away in a drawer amongst his prized possessions. He took his old bandanna off, and looking into the mirror, tried the new one on; the dark green suited him well as the other one, perhaps even better. It was like Luigi in every way; the colour was the plumber's style, and something about the bandanna reminded the mercenary of him. He whistled softly at himself, still grinning.

"Why, hello there." He said to his reflection, brushing his hair back slightly. He then put on a jacket and went out of his suite, locking the door behind him and heading down the stairs, out into Smashville. This called for a thank-you to the plumber, and he wouldn't fail that.

* * *

"I'm back!" Luigi screamed down the corridor, half crazed from the chaotic brawl that had finished just five minutes ago. "I'm back! I need coffee!" King Dedede opened his door and threw a Waddle Dee onto his head, banging his door shut afterwards; The plumber simply kicked it down the stairs, laughing crazily as the Waddle Dee bounced out of sight. That had been some brawl; he wouldn't be able to think straight for hours. He had been bounced around by the bongo rhythm of Donkey Kong at least twice, and he had been cooked in Kirby's cauldron. Quite frankly, Luigi had had enough. This was the reason for his apparent insanity.

But when he reached his suite, exhausted, he stopped, feeling baffled.

A little box made out of a black material and tied with a red ribbon was lying on the floor beside his door. In fact, it looked exactly like the one that he'd given Snake earlier that day. Luigi stooped and picked it up, his apparent insanity forgotten; had Snake returned it to him? A small frown crossed his face, and although he was immensely glad that Mario hadn't seen this, he felt disappointed and moody. It looked too alike to be a different present - but then, Snake was not a gift kind of person. If he had thought the present unnecessary, then Luigi really shouldn't be surprised. Sighing, he withdrew into the suite and unwrapped the box, expecting the 1-UPs and the bandanna to be still there.

But he was wrong.

The instant he opened the box he noted that this wasn't the present he'd given out earlier; there was a piece of paper right on the top of the contents, and it was a stylish kind of writing paper that Luigi hadn't even used. The contents themselves were covered with green tissue paper, not pink, and the lining of the box was a different colour. Plus, the box lid had a small sticker reading 'Smashville', which was absent in the present that Luigi had given Snake. It was obvious that this was something totally different.

Feeling intrigued, and no longer disappointed, Luigi sat down on his bed and opened up the note.

_Present well-received. I bet I fooled you with the similar-looking box! _

_But I can't thank you enough. I don't receive many presents, Luigi, and yours means a lot to me. I wanted to give you something in return. Because, you know, it's a give-and-receive kind of world... and I've never felt as happy as this to see a gift box. I owe you a lot. I hope that the colours suit you._

_Thank you._

_Yours truly, Snake_

_P.S. The 1-UPs taste like oriental medicine with a hint of pear-drops._

Stunned, the younger Mario brother put down the note on the bed. This was definitely not the reaction that he had expected from the mercenary; it amazed Luigi how he could be so kind and gentle at times, when normally he was in a homicidal mood and spent time scheming about his plans to capture Yoshi. He pulled away the tissue paper - and what was there brought a wide smile to his face.

Two pairs of striped socks (one green, one blue) and a pair of new, white gloves were packed in there, all neat and ready.

"Wow..." He exclaimed to himself, grinning now; he pulled out the green pair, noticing that it was his favourite type of socks (long and striped). He thought about Snake shopping in Smashville for those items, and then chuckled to himself, falling back on the bed. He didn't even feel unhappy about the disastrous brawl anymore. He just lay there, smiling and still laughing at the image of the soldier picking up a pair of socks, paying and then walking out. And the gloves, too. He hadn't had new gloves for years.

It was all worth it, really.


	11. 11: Interrogation

**Author's Note:** Snake's eating habits are not going to go unnoticed. The man is simply a bit too obvious with it. When a certain bounty hunter decides to investigate, things are going to become sticky.

I can't believe how long this chapter is. I didn't think the idea was enough for a long chapter. This one is based on a rather old idea... I originally planned to write and post this in April when 'Within the Cardboard Box' had been just posted, but I discovered that I hardly knew anything about Samus Aran. I tend to write characters after much research, in order to not make them too perfect/too out of character/too feeble and unconvincing. This is my very first time writing Samus... I played the original games and used her a lot in Brawl, just to see how she played and what her personality was like. After that I wrote this.

That's me. Either know a lot about a character or not write them at all. I'm not convinced that I have written a good Samus Aran... but I can't keep her too humourous, nor can I write her too serious and uninterested in anything.

This is largely from Luigi's side. We all know what Snake would do for Luigi. Now it's time to find out what Luigi would do for Snake in times of crisis. This chapter also contains a lot of other references, such as from the Rocky Horror Picture Show and Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time.

* * *

Samus Aran was annoyed.

The bounty hunter was usually agreeable, if a bit moody at times; but everyone thought her a good sport. But she was sitting here now, in the Warioware. Inc arena, fully clad in armor and awaiting her prey with extreme irritation. Back in her suite, a certain electric rat was hidden in the wardrobe where no one could find it. This was the main reason why she was out here in an area she didn't even like - since the last two weeks, Samus had detected the presence of a creepy, silent soldier eyeing Pikachu and stalking it everywhere. What a fool, she thought to herself with contempt; didn't he know that his cardboard box stunt was getting a bit _obvious_? Did he really think that they expected such a box in Pictochat or Distant Planet to be a natural occurrence? Of course not!

But although she tried to convince herself that Solid Snake was merely being a bit of an idiot, she was getting less and less unsure. The look in the mercenary's eyes when he looked at Pikachu was more than just sadistic glee; they were (literally) hungry, and she swore that she'd even seen him licking his lips a few times. It creeped her out like nothing could. Samus had heard rumours - horrible rumours - about the man stir-frying Pikmin and going after Yoshi just so he could know what they tasted like. Those were unsettling rumours indeed; and although most were too scared to say anything to Snake, for they feared his death glare, Samus was going to protect Pikachu no matter what. The little pokemon was her partner, and she'd grown quite attached to him. After a few electric shocks that morning, she had managed to get Pikachu in her wardrobe amongst tight, skimpy blue clothes with a bowl of cat food and some water.

Well, what else could she provide? She'd tried asking the Pokemon Trainer about Pikachu, but the boy had simply ignored her and mumbled something about 'berries'. Samus didn't recall seeing any berry trees in the hotel garden, and she _wasn't_ going to feed the pokemon dried or frozen berries one could get at Smashville. No, siree. So cat food she had found, and cat food Pikachu would have. Until she found a substitute.

And she'd been waiting for hours now in this dark place. The person she was waiting for was due to pass by at three o'clock (his destination required him to pass this area), and she knew him to be very punctual. It was two thirty now. So this was the main reason why she was waiting, hidden amongst boxes in a dark corner, in full armor and glowering silently.

Her stomach felt empty. She hadn't eaten in hours; she could do with a pizza in Warioware. Inc when this was all over. That was another reason.

Suddenly, Samus tensed; light footsteps had turned the corner she was in, revealing the very person she had been looking for. She was not one to rush into things - she would get as much information as possible out of a reliable source. And that source was now walking close by towards where she was hiding, whistling a tune, completely oblivious.

Well, not now!

Samus waited silently until the 'source' had passed just by her - and then she darted out, pinning the poor male and slamming his head against the wall. He gasped with fright and surprise, and then soon began yelping, seeking for help; but Samus would have none of that.

"No you don't!" She hissed, and then without waiting for a reply, dragged him into the dark and deserted corner where she pulled him back against her armor and roughly pushed her gun to his throat. The subject had stopped yelping, but at the touch of the cold metal against his throat, he began whimpering in pain and confusion.

"I suggest you stop making that highly irritating noise." The bounty hunter said coolly, but did not loosen her hold. "I need information, and I can quite safely promise that I will let you go if you comply. If not..." She trailed off, making her implications clear. "I need to know everything you know about Solid Snake."

At the sound of Snake's name, the man began squirming around more violently, now apparently very frightened indeed. His hat fell to the ground, revealing tousled light brown hair, and Samus took the opportunity to quieten him; she reached out and grabbed a chunk of his hair roughly, evoking a cry of pain from her captive.

"Keep still!" Samus threatened, holding him tighter. "I shall be forced to subdue you by other means if you do not co-operate!"

"Let me go! Why - why are you doing this?" The captured male asked in a trembling voice, confused. "I haven't done anything wrong! What-"

"_You_ might not have, Lugi Mario, but I suspect that your mercenary friend has done some serious damage." Samus replied calmly. "Do you know anything about Solid Snake... and Yoshi? Over the claims that he thinks the latter as edible?"

"I - I don't know anything." Luigi stuttered, trembling with fright. Samus let out a low 'hmm' at this; she knew the younger Mario brother to be a little bashful at times, but honest and virtuous. It wouldn't be like him to lie about something like this.

"Fine, then. Anything you know about Snake and what he did to five of Captain Olimar's Pikmin?"

"And... and why are you asking me this?" Luigi asked, his voice shaky, but he dared to turn around just a little. His eyes were wide with fear, but he seemed less panicked; Samus considered how to answer this question, and decided to tell him the truth. After all, this plumber was scared to death of her - Luigi was so weak in this moment, so vulnerable, and as pathetic as she thought him at this stage, she still felt that she owed him a small explanation at least.

"Because, you see, I happen to be researching some facts about your mercenary friend." Samus answered. "I've heard rumours. Unsettling, disturbing rumours. And they're all about Snake's eating habits and certain Smashers in this hotel. I believe that Solid Snake stalks around Smashers he considers even mildly edible and captures them." She laughed flatly. "Admit it. That's what they say that Snake did to the Pikmin. And I also heard that he stole a Yoshi egg from a brawl match on at least one occasion."

"I don't understand you." Luigi replied, sounding a little confused and puzzled, yet no longer sounding very scared. "You're grasping at straws - you can't prove those rumours true. And I've been around Snake for a long time. He hasn't done anything like that. I've never witnessed such things, nor have I seen him meddling with a Yoshi egg or Pikmin. That would be abuse."

"Too right, Luigi. Too right." Samus smiled under her armor, although Luigi couldn't see it. "Let us say that you haven't seen him consuming - or attempting to - Pikmin or Yoshi eggs. But that also means that you don't know for sure if he really did those things or not. After all, he could have done something like that in your absence."

The plumber sighed. "That doesn't matter. I doubt that Snake actually did those things. After all, such things leave traces. There hasn't been any kinds of Yoshi eggshells or Pikmin corpses around in the kitchen or any such areas, was there? After all," He said with a grim smile. "You're in charge of the two kitchens in the hotel and all the garbage it produces."

Samus frowned, losing her smile; Luigi had hit upon a very good point. The bounty hunter indeed checked the kitchen and the first five floors' waste bin unit every day, in order to find out if anything suspicious had been dumped there. It was a well-paid job, and not_ too _filthy either. Just last week she had found alcopop bottles in Ness and Lucas's room, which proved once and for all that they liked being drunk. It also proved why they stuck together and did insane things at unhealthy times of the day. What's more, she had found a lot of bottles. Needless to say, she had been paid well. But she had never found any sign of half-eaten Smashers, just as Luigi had said.

"But what if Snake disposed of them seperately?"

"Makes no difference. You're not the only one checking the waste bin units." Luigi managed a chuckle. "And besides, if Snake is eating Smashers, why hasn't he been banned from the hotel by Master Hand yet? He knows when Smashers go missing, right?"

Samus's eyes widened; she hadn't considered that aspect. "I wasn't aware that Master Hand had such powers," She said, trying to keep calm. "But are you saying that if any Smashers - even Pikmin - go missing, Master Hand will automatically know? Even outside of the hotel and brawling arenas?"

"Yes." The plumber answered. "The Master Hand is the ultimate ruler of this competition and world, you know. There's nothing he doesn't know. Apart from just exactly when Crazy Hand drinks out of the toilet bowl."

The bounty hunter 'hmm'ed, thinking. Luigi seemed to be telling the truth - it was certainly true that Samus had failed to find any remains or evidence that Snake had gone after the Smashers. Master Hand himself took no favourites, so he couldn't be keeping Snake's antics quiet. She couldn't just rush into things like this; yes, she was suspicious. Yes, she wanted to protect Pikachu. But she definitely wasn't going to risk losing face, or even end up being accused of something she hadn't done.

"Well, I suppose that this is all the information that you can give me." Samus stated. "And from your information, I will have to assume that Snake is not guilty." But her eyes narrowed from behind the armor, and she pressed her gun into his throat again. "But listen to this... I'm in charge of Pikachu instead of that silly Trainer. I'm not easygoing. And I've noticed Snake's presence around us, and it's not very pleasant, as you may agree. I will let you go - but tell your friend to stay away from Pikachu and any other Smashers he considers to be lower than him. If anything happens..." She trailed off, making her implications perfectly clear. Luigi gulped and nodded, beads of sweat visible on his forehead.

"Good. Get out of here."

The plumber nodded again, yelping as Samus pushed him away; he bent down and scrambled for his hat, and without even putting it on he ran for it, only looking back once with a scared expression on his face. Within moments he was out of sight, and the bounty hunter stripped off her armor.

"Huh. Pathetic." She muttered to herself, and then turned away with a contemptuous sniff, towards the brightly lit section of Warioware. Inc. Her mission was over, she was hungry and she could really do with a pizza now. Perhaps she would take Pikachu a slice.

If that pesky little rodent hadn't destroyed half the wardrobe already, that was.

* * *

"Oh God... oh God..." Luigi whimpered to himself as he sprinted down Smashville and towards the hotel, eager to tell Snake exactly what had happened. He was only vaguely aware that he'd trodden on Olimar's Pikmin army and the Rope Snake, and that Lucas was crying due to this fact, but he couldn't care less. He was going to tell Snake what he knew, and do his best to keep the blonde hunter off the mercenary. "He better be there, let him be there..." He dashed into the hotel, jumped into the elevator and punched the button marked '4'. That was Snake's floor. When the elevator reached the destination, Luigi leapt out and hurtled down the corridor.

"Snake!" He blurted out, finding the mercenary's suite and bursting in the door. "Oh, you'll never guess what-" He stopped soon, feeling suddenly cold.

Snake's suite was a mess.

Torn papers were strewn everywhere. Snake's own guns lay in a tangle beneath the bed, bullets rolling around on the floor; the only thing untouched was the desk and the desk drawers. Even the bathroom was messed up, with shaving cream sprayed all over the mirror and congealing into a white dry layer. And Snake himself was nowhere to be seen amongst the severely damaged rooms, with its battered furniture and scribbled-on walls. The younger Mario brother assumed that the suite had been attacked; he glanced around uneasily, but found no sign of the other man.

"S-Snake?" Luigi stammered, taking a step into the suite. "Snake? Are you there? What - what happened?"

No answer.

"This isn't funny, Snake... come _out_!" Luigi suddenly found himself getting frightened; the thought of Snake lying somewhere in this wreck, knocked out, injured or even-

"I'm here!" A muffled voice called out from the bedroom. Luigi sprinted into the room and found no one - but the familiar orange box was on the floor. He had to assume that the soldier was hiding there - what else? The box itself was intact, but covered with black graffiti, and dented slightly. The plumber sat down on the floor shakily, looking into the box.

"Are you there?"

Snake peeped out of the hole in the side, his eyes meeting Luigi's startled ones. "Sorry. I can't come out. I'm in too much danger for that." Luigi blinked, and Snake momentarily drifted off and wondered about how unique the other's eyes were. Snake's eyes were a pale, almost silvery gray, and it wasn't a colour that one would expect to see often. He'd noted that the Mario brothers had blue eyes; Mario had deep, slightly milky-blue eyes, but Luigi's were a clear sapphire, which again wasn't exactly a common shade. Not to mention that his eyes were as permanently wide as saucers.

But why was he thinking about eyes anyway? Apart from the fact that the two were rather closely pressed together in order to maintain eye contact, and that Luigi's large wide eyes were staring into his face, he should really be thinking about deadly hot chocolate and Yoshi steaks like the usual. Luigi spoke again.

"What? Why not? Oh, come _on_ - I've got to tell you something..."

"The Ice Climbers." Snake said softly. "They infiltrated my suite and tried to fish me out with their icepicks and hammers."

"Why? What did you do?"

"I commented on the terribleness of their hot chocolate yesterday." He laughed grimly, although he did seem very shaken; two children had managed to throw him off guard and wreck his suite, which had been a large blow to his dignity. They had done what no adult could have done. "And then this morning... they broke in and tore the place apart. I was hiding next to the door playing at being a special delivery, so they didn't notice me... But I think they've scribbled graffiti all over the walls too. They've just totally ruined _everything_."

"Oh dear God..." Luigi exclaimed, staring around the place. "Popo and Nana? But... they're such _nice_ children!"

"Shush." The mercenary snapped. "You just happen to like little kids. Get your suite trashed by one or two of them and see if you like kids after that."

Luigi was about to reply, but a small squeak interrupted him. "Yoshi?" The green creature was standing at the suite doorway, peering curiously at the plumber and the box. Snake fell silent, and Luigi glanced at him briefly before turning to the lizard again.

"Out, Yoshi! I'll be up soon!" He called. The creature shuffled on his two feet, still staring at the younger Mario brother, before letting out a small chirp and toddling off. Luigi quickly got up and closed the door, preventing any other Smashers from seeing them. "There you go. Now what, Snake? Are we going to tidy up your suite?"

No answer came, but the green-clad plumber could see the mercenary's eyes looking intently at the door. He gulped and stared at his friend, nervous, thinking about what Samus had said to him.

"Snake, give up Yoshi. He's _not _edible, all right?"

"I can't help it." Snake replied grudgingly, still staring at the closed door. "It is delicious Yoshi. I _must_ eat it."

"Do you want me to squash the box on top of you?"

"Go ahead, my friend. Can't get any worse than the state of my suite now." Snake laughed bitterly, withdrawing his eyes from the hole in the box. "This is why I hate little kids. They're your worst nightmare bundled in tiny little socks and clothes and plastered with a cute smile on their faces."

Luigi sighed and leaned against the box, pushing the item backwards so that he and Snake were merely a layer of cardboard apart. "Come on, they're not that bad... and the Ice Climbers are quite sensitive, you know."

"I gathered that this morning." The mercenary stated dryly. "But back to the starting point, Luigi, what brought you here in the first place?"

Luigi shuffled around so that he was whispering directly into the box. "Samus Aran. She's looking for you."

"Samus? That blonde bounty hunter?" Luigi nodded. "What does she want me for? For a date? Well, tell her that I'll consider it once she agrees to go around without her armor all the time-"

"A date's the last thing on her mind, Snake." Luigi said, sounding nervous again. "She's mad - mad like you won't believe. She thinks you're after Pikachu. Samus held me captive for five minutes while interrogating me for information about you!"

"Samus Aran held you captive?" The mercenary suddenly sounded panicked, and he pushed his face closer to the hole in the box, gazing intently at Luigi. "What did she do? Did she hurt you? If she did I swear I'll-"

"She held a gun to my throat."

"A gun? My God!" The soldier exclaimed, and he lifted up a corner of the box to reach out his arm and feel whether his friend had been hurt. His strong hand brushed his neck, and Luigi was momentarily aware that Snake could kill him with his hands just as easily as Samus could; however he'd never hurt him, and the younger Mario brother was intensely grateful for that. "You've got a mark right here. She didn't threaten to kill you, did she?"

Luigi looked down as far as possible; sure enough, a faint red mark was visible near his collarbone, and when he touched it, he found that the skin was rather hot beneath. "Well... not exactly. Like I said before, she only wanted to get information out of me. She thinks you're going to capture Pikachu and possibly eat him - I don't know where, but she's also heard rumours about you, Pikmin and Yoshi. That's why I don't want you to go after Yoshi, Snake. If you're caught in the act she'll kill both of us."

"And all for that electric rat?" The mercenary said indignantly, following suit with a very rude word directed at the bounty hunter. "And she'd dragged you into this too. I don't need her to meddle with my eating habits!"

"Even so..." Luigi still looked very frightened by his ordeal. Snake looked at him for a long while, and then sighed, drooping.

"Right. Fine. She only seems to care about her annoying rat, so I'll keep off it and any others."

"And how long will that last?"

"A fortnight?" Snake offered. Luigi met his gaze, deadpan and unamused. "A month? Oh, come on, Luigi -"

"It's not up to me to decide that, Snake." The plumber said with a sigh. "But that's all I can tell you. Any Smashers go missing, and if she thinks you've done it, we both get bumped off."

"I'm not going to let Samus hurt you." The mercenary replied. "You don't have a part in this. I'll never allow her to do anything to you. Ever again." He reached out a hand again and rested it lightly on Luigi's. "You took threats and even stuck up for me... when you could have been injured... I thank you for that. I admire your courage, Luigi."

Luigi looked at the soldier for a long time, suddenly feeling a complicated mixture of emotions arise within him. On one hand he was annoyed with Snake for having such a screwed-up eating habit. But on the other hand (and this part tugged stronger at his heartstrings) Snake was a friend of his, and the mercenary's declaration to protect him was very heart-warming. He had such a soft spot for this strange, somewhat homicidal man; sometimes it surprised him to think about just how attached he was to the soldier. Snake was really quite gentle... gruff, maybe, and irritable, but wonderful otherwise.

"I can't say I can quite give up Yoshi, though."

The plumber sighed. That was one flaw that wasn't ever going to change, he supposed.

"...Let's just clean up your suite a little and go to dinner. Are you going to report this to Master Hand?"

"Hell no." Snake, glad of the subject change (yet still depressed), shuffled around in his box. "If I'm going to tell Master Hand about how two kids about twenty years younger than me managed to wreck and graffiti _my_ suite... and all the furniture and the box..."

"Funny you should be mentioning the box." Luigi chuckled for the first time he had been in the suite, looking at the surface of the box where the orange letters were printed - and seeing a lot of marker writings scribbled on there, some blacking out words and some simply badly drawn pictures. "One of them says 'Next time you are dead'... with the alphabet 'u' for the 'you', 'r' for 'are' and the 'dead' spelt d-e-d."

Snake sniggered. "Little kids nowadays can't spell."

"Tell me about it. This one says 'You - noob, Ice Climbers and their hot chocolate - leet. We own you with our leet icepicks and hammers. Then you am cry'. Written in some kind of numbers and English combination that I barely understand myself."

"What? I may be a newcomer, but... urgh! Look, I know I promised not to go after Smashers, but can I _please _go and kill those two before dinner?" Snake almost pleaded, half crazed with fury. "I've _had_ it with those annoying little kids!"

Luigi ignored his outburst. "There's a lot of pictures and words I can't make out... and oh my goodness..." He peered hard at the orange words printed on the box, some its letters blacked out completely with markers.

"...What the hell is a 'mash Bro'?"

"_Arrrgh_!"


	12. 12: Triple Observations

**Author's Note:** Jeez, I'm so tired.

This chapter is a return to Snake, Luigi and Mario. That's about all I can say. And there's a bit of cuteness (only a bit) here. Not pervy. If two guys nowadays can't joke around together, hug or even take a nap by each other's side without being gay, I'll... I'll cry. I'll... do something. x.x

Let's not have tl;dr author's notes. On with the story.

* * *

Luigi was a cheerful young man.

He was very kind to everyone, and his shy, gentle nature and reasonably good looks appealed to the other Smashers in the hotel. He wasn't as well-known as Mario, his older brother, but those who knew Luigi found that the younger Mario brother was actually a lot more gentle and easygoing. Being a bit of a pacifist, he seldom fought very violently; but those who had ever been to battle with him knew that he was a very strong Smasher indeed.

And he was always happy. Why, some people hardly knew, but they all knew for sure that Luigi seemed a lot more cheerful nowadays than he had been when the tournament had first begun. At first, everyone knew Luigi to be a very shy, quiet person who seldom socialized with any others and mostly kept to himself; but he had changed and there was no doubt about that. It showed in his expression, the way he greeted people in the mornings, the way he smiled - yes, he was one happy Smasher. Although many people didn't know this, it was mostly due to his newfound friend and famed mercenary Solid Snake that this attitude change had taken place. He enjoyed the soldier's company more than anything; the mischief they got up to sometimes was less than mature, yes, but the other's sense of macabre humour never failed to amuse him. He knew that Snake was older than him by a couple of years or so, but that didn't bother him. They shared conversations with one another every day, hid in the cardboard box, and attended brawl matches together.

The Smashers were mostly unaware of the two's friendship. As for the Smashers who knew about the two being friends, most of the time they were all right with it. Meta Knight and Jigglypuff often were included in the two's conversations, and when some outings took place the four would often go together. And that was a perfectly fine arrangement as far as they were concerned. The Master Hand himself seemed to approve of the two's friendship, and often put them in team brawls so they could fight together and stick close. Some others, like Sonic and Pit, seemed to be nervous or slightly worried about Snake's presence, but even they left the two in peace.

Only one Smasher refused to do this, and this was a lot harder on Luigi - because of who that Smasher happened to be.

"I'm going to Delfino Plaza, Mario... Battle Royale-style brawl... I don't know when I'll be back, those brawls can last for hours..." Luigi called to his brother as he put on his new socks and laced up his shoes. He smartened up his hair and lightly put his cap in place, smiling to himself. "Mario? Are you awake?"

No answer came. He shrugged, but checked in his older brother's room just in case. Mario was in his bed, the curtains drawn, his eyes closed and serene. He seemed dead to the world. Luigi chuckled lightly to himself, and then went out briefly only to return with a notepad and pen. He scribbled some words down on the paper and left the pad on the bedside table.

"That'll do." He murmured to himself, and skipped out of the room and out of the hotel suite, taking his keycard with him. His cheerful mood remained until he arrived at Delfino Plaza - people were surrounding a certain area, talking noisily above the crowd and trying to make themselves heard.

"What the..." He muttered to himself, but pushed through the complaining crowd, reaching the very centre of the scene. Master Hand was there, shouting out instructions and blocking any other Smashers entering. "...heck?"

"Ah, Luigi!" Master Hand gestured to him, seemingly glad of the distraction. "Just in time! I regret to say this, but your brawl today in Delfino Plaza is cancelled."

"Cancelled?" Luigi repeated, suddenly feeling cold and panicked. "What... what happened? Was it an accident?"

"Unfortunately, you are right. Your opponents today were Link, Ike and Ganondorf, was it not?"

"Yes..."

"Ganondorf has wounded Ike quite severely during a bout of rage, I'm afraid. We only found out minutes ago - they're taking Ike to the infirmary now." Sure enough, a limp blue-haired figure on a stretcher was being carried out, taking the crowd along with it. Ganondorf followed closely behind, scowling and muttering to himself (with the others jeering him). "I cannot have a battle royale brawl with only two participants, and the schedule will overlap if we arrange another one today. Off you go now." Master Hand waved the plumber to the side, and began creeping along with his fingers to the Delfino Plaza arena, moving away.

"But Master Hand!" Luigi hollered, feeling still very confused. "When... when will my next brawl be?"

The giant hand was already partway through the arena gates, but he twirled his index and thumb slightly at the question.

"I don't know if Ike will be up tomorrow. And Ganondorf is suspended. We will have to arrange a new team before your next brawl. The brawl will take place tomorrow - with new Smashers. That is all I can tell you." Without further ado, he disappeared into the arena and shut the door behind him. The younger Mario brother was left standing there, dumbfounded, before he suddenly regained control over his limbs and sulkily kicked at the ground.

"Great..." He muttered. "Just great... and I thought that this would be an all-day brawl..." Sighing, he turned around and walked away. What now? He couldn't stay at Delfino Plaza, nor could he go anywhere else. He'd already written to Mario about his brawl, and if he went back now there would be questions. And quite frankly, Luigi didn't want to be forced into a brawl or be asked questions about an unpleasant topic he didn't particularly _want_ to discuss.

But as Lady Luck would have it, he was spared from those options by something else. Luigi caught sight of a purplish cloak in a distant corner, one that he recognized, and curiously stepped off the path and nearer to the place where he'd seen it. What he found was a rather nice surprise.

"Meta!" Luigi called. The owner of the cloak looked up, and waved his hand in a reply; he appeared to be surrounded by two large rolls of parchment and was poring over one of them with much interest. The younger Mario brother strolled over to said corner and smiled; now _this_ would be a lot more interesting than going back to the suite. "How have you been?"

"Very fine indeed, Luigi." Meta Knight placed down the rolls of parchment and then bowed, that being his way of greeting people. "I haven't seen you in quite a while."

"I haven't seen you much either." Luigi sat down next to the masked knight, his cheerful mood returning. "How's it going with Jigglypuff?"

"She's heavenly." Meta Knight replied, taking the rolls of parchment in his arms again and staring at the horizon. "We've talked to the managers and are in a permanent dining arrangement. And we've started brawling together too."

Luigi smiled. "That's good news!"

"And how is Snake doing?" The blue knight asked, turning to look at the younger Mario brother. "Are you two still getting up to no good? Within weeks I swear you two'll be sneaking off to Suite 301..." Suite 301 was not a residence, because the room apparently had ghosts in there. Some said that the spirit of a Melee-Smasher, Mewtwo, lingered in the depths of the suite and exposed the deepest and darkest secrets of any other Smasher who dared to venture into the rooms. It was only a myth, of course - but Luigi had battled Mewtwo before, and knew that the Pokemon would do exactly that if the chance came by. Besides, he didn't like ghosts, whether real or fake - and knew well enough to stay away from the suite.

However, what Meta Knight was referring to was not that. Some also said that if two or more Smashers went in there, Mewtwo wouldn't know which Smasher to torture with their most embarrassing secrets and therefore leave them in peace. So groups of Smashers would steal the keys and enter the suite for a dare at midnight every now and then, scaring each other and generally going a bit crazy with the whole 'ghost' idea. Some even emerged pale-faced and claimed that they had been haunted by ghosts in the night, and show off fake bite marks and bruises.

"Eww..." Luigi pulled a face, shuddering. "...That was uncalled for, Meta Knight."

"My pleasure." The knight replied calmly, and unrolled the parchment again, deeply engrossed in the words written there. The green-clad plumber leaned over to look at the elaborate handwritten words, trying to figure out what they meant.

"They're a list of orders taken from the hotel suites." Meta Knight explained, as if he'd read Luigi's mind. "Take a look. This here is an order placed for a crate of alcopops, from Suite 205. That's Ness and Lucas's suite. Here's an order for chamois leather used to polish swords, from my suite. Master Hand told me to take a look and add up everything, to see if they all fit into the budget."

Luigi nodded, letting his eyes wander around the countless names and products written in the parchment. Eventually, his eyes stopped and rested upon a famillar name; he looked at the delivery times and order placed carefully, letting everything add up nicely in his mind. A slow grin spread onto his face.

"I'll have some fun with that..."

* * *

Solid Snake was a very content soldier.

True, he was a mercenary known for his ruthlessness and ability to 'coax' out information from anyone. Although he was blissfully unaware of this, he also scared a lot of people with his presence alone. He was no ordinary man, nor was he really a cheerful type of person. But he was very much himself most of the time, and he was fine with that.

Of course, it wouldn't be true to say that he was a loner. Even when he had just arrived in the hotel, he had his portable radio, the Codec, with him so he could keep in touch with his three associates. They gave him helpful hints and advice the first few times that he had battled - but as time went by, he found himself adjusting naturally to the surreal atmosphere of the tournament and now only used the codec every now and then to get news of the outside world. He had friends in the hotel too - not many, but certainly enough to keep him going.

He was particularly close to one of them.

Luigi, at first glance, was a tall slender Italian plumber who wore a green shirt and hat with blue overalls and was intensely shy and nervous. That had been the first impression of the younger Mario brother Snake had gotten when he'd first looked at him. But then a couple of weeks passed by, and then one day, the shy young man had come to Shadow Moses Island for a break and had run into Snake instead. Suddenly Snake wasn't a loner any more - days and weeks passed by with the two spending more time with each other, occasionally resulting in hilarious episodes. Luigi had reached out to him first, and he'd accepted. Then Snake wasn't so feared or disliked any more, and although he wouldn't say it out aloud, he cared immensely about Luigi's well-being and feelings. The green-clad plumber had been injured just over a week ago, and he still remembered the sight with painful clarity - and thanked God that Luigi hadn't been hurt badly.

In fact, their friendship had grown to such a point that Smashers were beginning to tease them a little.

"You two've been hanging around together for a surprisingly long amount of time." Link had pointed out when he'd had one too many glasses of whisky two nights ago. They had invited Link and Zelda over to Shadow Moses Island for a brawl, and had decided to stay for the evening. "Odd, considering you two being such introverts. What's happened, huh? Are you two lovers or something?"

"_Link_!" Luigi and Zelda both exclaimed together, the former's face red as a strawberry. Zelda walked over to Link and took away the whisky bottle. "Come on, Link. You're drunk. Let me help you back to the hotel..." The princess bowed her head in apology to the two (Luigi's face was still crimson). "I'm sorry. He just does that sometimes."

Snake, who had kept silent throughout the conversation, now leaned forwards and looked the Hylian in the eye, his expression giving away nothing.

"Get your facts right, Link. We're not lovers, we're _married_." He suddenly grinned, grabbing the now-extremely embarrassed plumber by the waist and pulling him closer. "I'm the wife, you know. I do all the cooking and washing up."

"Snake!" Luigi half-shrieked, his face redder than ever. "Shut up already!" But even he was beginning to see the humour in Snake's statement, and the look on Zelda and Link's face was just too priceless to bear. He began to double over laughing, while trying to cover the mercenary's mouth and prevent him from saying anything even _more_ embarrassing.

"Get _off_, Luigi." The mercenary chuckled, wiping away tears of mirth and lightly pushing Luigi away (and failing). "That's no way to treat your wife!" And then they both started laughing again. Link passed out there and then, and Zelda passionately declared the fact that the two were insane, mischievous rascals. This just set them off laughing again, of course, and then Zelda had left, shaking her head and muttering 'Men!' under her breath.

That was what Snake did most of the time. Either be mesmerized with all the possibilities he could make with a Yoshi while sitting in a box, or embarrass the heck out of Luigi. The latter didn't seem to mind much, as even the mercenary knew the boundaries in which a joke could go up to - and sometimes he even caught a little smile on the other's face, full of emotions he could hardly make out. That was a bit odd, but then they were both not exactly normal.

"God, I'm bored." He muttered, and looked towards the door. He didn't have a brawl lined up in his schedule, and therefore had some free time to buy some supplies from Smashville, wander around the arenas, or even stay in the suite and rest. There were others in the hotel too, like Princess Peach and Prince Marth, but he didn't feel like joining any of the Smashers for idle chat. So he was sitting in an upturned cardboard box (that doubled as a couch) and mindlessly thumbing through a book on stealth mechanisms, because he hadn't anything better to do.

And he was waiting.

Last night he'd ordered a six-pack of beer from the kitchen, only to end up talking to Crazy Hand who had had been slurping the soup straight from a giant pot. Certainly not the best conversation anyone could ever have whilst in the hotel. After much confusing talks and screaming, the staff had apologized to him on the line and promised that the six-pack of beer would be delivered to him the next morning. Snake was quite an impatient soul, but with beer such things were of no importance or use; so he had agreed quietly and went straight to bed.

About time the beer was delivered, he thought, and inwardly cursed the kitchen staff; it wasn't like he had asked for a large amount. But he had long ago learnt not to meddle with the business of hotel staff, so all he could do really was to sit and wait. He didn't particularly like not being able to do much about this, but there were no other options.

Snake sighed and got up, going over to his coffee machine and brewing himself a cup of coffee. He took out the powdered coffee beans - the finest one he could find in Smashville, he did love to treat himself to the best - and poured them with a little water into the machine, turning the switch on and letting the machine do the rest of the work. Soon, the rich, deep aroma of espresso filled the room, and he breathed in the delightful scent, closing his eyes and letting a small smile light up his face. He did love his daily cup of coffee every day.

The machine stopped as the switch clicked itself back into the 'off' position. The mercenary got up, took a cup and poured the dark liquid into it, swirling it around a little to warm the cup. He checked that the machine was off for the second time and walked over to the window with his coffee, staring out mindlessly as he took a small sip. Delicious, as always.

His peaceful moment was interrupted, however, when three knocks came on the door.

"Who is it?" He called, but received no reply. Frowning slightly in confusion, he strode to the door and unlocked it, peering out onto the corridor.

But the hallway was empty.

"...Hello?" He called uneasily, wondering if this was some kind of a prank; if it was, he would personally gut the person responsible later. Snake looked around, his frown deepening, stepping out onto the red-carpeted floor - and then he saw it. A cardboard box stood next to his door, immobile and large, with its top sealed tightly with tape; there were finger holes at the sides, but that was all.

"A box?" He exclaimed to himself. He was very fond of boxes for obvious reasons, and feeling a bit less suspicious, he swept down to look at the codes printed on it. The box was plain, unlike his trademark 'Smash Bros' box, and was a darker brown in colour. 'Special Delivery' was stamped on the top of the box, along with a white envelope taped to the side. There was no other information of the sender available. Curious, the mercenary tiptoed lightly to the box and carefully unstuck the tape on the envelope, wary of its contents. For all he knew, this could be a time bomb. But the envelope simply held limp in his hand, and the box was perfectly still. A bit more reassured, he opened the envelope and looked inside - a piece of blue note paper was folded up within, and he took it out, unfolding it and reading what had been written there.

_Snake_

_A present from your best friend. I helped to get _(this part was blacked out with pen) _in the box. Don't get too surprised about the contents. Enjoy._

_Meta Knight._

_P.S. Jigglypuff says sorry for pushing you off Halberd a month-and-half ago. She couldn't get a chance to see you._

"...The hell?" Was Snake's only comment to this note. He folded the note up again into a tight square and put in in his pocket; and stared at the box for a long time, trying to comprehend what was going on. The gift that Luigi had given him just less than a week ago had taught him not to be so suspicious - but the cool, calculating part of his mind told him that this box still had no business whatsoever at his suite door.

"But then..." Snake murmured to himself, still gazing at the box. "...If Meta Knight sent this... then surely it must be safe?"

He recalled the words that the blue knight had written. It was certainly his handwriting - no doubt about that - and he'd said that the box was a present from 'your best friend'. What did that mean? He quickly thought about his friends; Luigi, Meta Knight, Link, Marth and Captain Falcon. He hadn't many friends in the hotel, so he could narrow his options down quite easily. Meta Knight he'd already crossed off. Captain Falcon and Link were both a bit too smitten with the female Smashers in the hotel to think about miscellaneous matters, and it was highly unlikely that they'd send something out of the blue. That left Marth and Luigi.

Now the blue-haired prince was a fair possibility. He happened to be in the hotel now, and would politely greet the mercenary and make conversation. Snake dwelt upon this for a while, but then shook his head as he remembered one small, but crucial detail.

Meta Knight and Marth were intense rivals. No way the knight would help him pack a present.

That left Luigi. The soldier thought about the 'your best friend' part of the note carefully. Luigi was indeed his closest and best friend; it had been partly due to him that Snake had become a bit more relaxed and more willing to talk to people. And although Snake vaguely recalled that he had a brawl session today, he would still be able to send this in advance. It all made sense.

Letting a small smile creep into his face, Snake bent down and dragged the box into his suite. It felt rather heavy, heavy enough that he couldn't lift it; but he wasn't too bothered about that. The box was cool and dry, and when he'd closed the door behind him and lightly pushed the box into the middle of the room, he swore that he felt something thump against the sides with a 'clunk' inside.

"Cheers, Luigi." Snake called out to no one in particular, the smile still gracing his face. If his calculations were right, then he would owe Luigi quite a lot. He mentally made a note to take the younger Mario brother out for a treat, and then tore off the tape sealing the top of the cardboard box.

What happened next was certainly unexpected.

The instant that the tape had been torn off, the box rocked and something - someone - shot out of it, sending bunches of little foam shock-absorbers and Styrofoam into the air. Snake let out a startled cry, backing away rapidly from the box; but he was safe, completely safe. The person was wearing a bright smile on his face, wearing clean white gloves, green shirt and blue denim overalls.

"Special delivery!" Luigi called out, styrofoam pieces in his hair, grinning brightly and holding out a six-pack of beer to a stunned Snake. The beer had been wrapped in a special bag that kept objects at a certain temperature - the beer was ice-cold to the touch and had just the slightest hint of condensation on the can surfaces. Perfect for instant enjoyment. Snake stared at the younger Mario brother for a long while before a chuckle escaped him; and he pulled the other out of the box, laughing fit to burst.

"You're daft, you are!" Snake laughed, pulling out the foam pieces from Luigi's hair and brushing them away. The latter grinned and shook his head, sending another shower of Styrofoam into the air and making the mercenary start laughing all over again.

He loved that plumber.

Honestly.

* * *

Meanwhile, Mario was having a very different time.

He yawned and sat up on his bed, wondering what time it was. The clock on his bedside table read nine thirty a.m. - he was due in for a brawl at eleven twenty. More than enough time to get ready. Food was served at all hours in this hotel, so he would probably be able to get some sugar loaf and tea for breakfast.

"Luigi?" He called sleepily, but no answer came. Instantly concerned, he climbed out of bed and put on a long-sleeved shirt, put on slippers and pattered over to Luigi's room; but there was no one there. The bed had been freshly made and the bedside table was clean, and there was no sign of Luigi anywhere.

"Where is he?" He murmured to himself, suddenly feeling rather depressed - he had been looking forward to spending the morning with his younger brother. But he wasn't anywhere; sighing, he shuffled back into his room, noticing the notepad on the table only then. He picked up the pad, reading his younger brother's words:

_Mario,_

_I've gone to Delfino P. Battle Royale brawl. Will try to come back in one piece in time for bed... I haven't got very easy opponents today. _

_Yoshi ate your chocolate chip cookie. I've put another pack near the coffee machine and washed your FLUDD, by the way. _

_Your loving brother,_

_Luigi._

"Oh yeah..." Mario whispered to himself. He had completely forgotten that Luigi had a brawl that morning. Damn it, why hadn't he woken up sooner? He had spent over a week without talking much to his brother or anyone much for that matter; and today had seemed just perfect...

Mario placed the pad down again and sighed heavily, leaning against the headboard of the bed. His eyes slid shut tiredly. So what was going on? Did he no longer even know his brother's schedule and what he got up to? Hell, did he even know his brother any more? Two months and a half had passed since the tournament and Mario had begun to realize that Luigi no longer needed his company as much. Luigi had changed so much - it alarmed Mario, and he felt extremely alarmed whenever he thought about it all. Occasionally he would go into his younger brother's room and just look at him for a long while, wondering what had become of the little child that Luigi had once been. Mario had always been the one that Luigi looked up to, the one that he loved most and were best friends with. Mario did not doubt that he still came first with Luigi; but a rival for his care and friendship had appeared out of the most unlikely source, and it made the red-clad plumber uneasy as anything.

Mario no longer really knew what to feel about Solid Snake anymore. At first, the mercenary was just an enemy to him, someone dangerous and despicable. But when Luigi had been injured, it had been him who had carried the younger Mario brother to safety and protected him. Mario knew that he really ought to be grateful to Snake for doing that.

Instead he had let his resentment take control, and had argued with Snake for the remainder of that brawl.

That wasn't something he could forgive himself for. He could have nodded a thanks to Snake instead of even talking. He could have called out to Master Hand to halt the brawl and carry Luigi back. But he failed to do either of those things, all because he'd been too selfish and his hatred had gone out of control. He didn't even talk or acknowledge Snake any more, and the latter did the same for him. It was as if neither existed in the other's eyes.

But the more he thought about it, the more he felt himself growing bitter - Snake, he felt, had taken Luigi away from him without notice nor warning, and was refusing to give him up. And because of that, he had no choice but to fight and argue.

A knock sounded on his door, and he turned around with an unfathomable look in his eyes. Reluctantly, he got up to open the door. Who was it? He wasn't expecting visitors at this time of the day -

"Who - _ah_..."

Princess Peach stood at the door, her expression unusually firm and set.

"We need to talk, Mario."

Mario looked at her for a long time, but then turned his back on the princess, leaving the door open but no longer really acknowledging her. "Princess, this is not a good time."

"Nonsense." She stated briskly with the authority of a governor, and entered his suite, standing in the doorway with her arms crossed. "You haven't spoken to me for a full week, and you're no longer paying close attention to your brawls anymore. You look permanently depressed and you're sleeping late. Hardly what I'd call normal behaviour, Mario. I doubt that your 'bad time' would last _that_ long." But then her face softened, and she looked at him, genuine concern and worry in her eyes. "Mario, please. What's going on?"

"It's hardly important."

The princess merely looked at Mario, unbearable pity and sympathy in her expression.

"It's because of Luigi, isn't it?" She said softly. "Ever since he got injured that day... you changed."

Mario looked at her for a second, but then turned back. "You don't know what you're talking about, Princess."

Princess Peach drew in a breath at this unusual hostility, but still she refused to give up. "Let Luigi be friends with whoever he wishes. Snake hasn't hurt him, and he seems to be a nice enough person. You've got to let go of Luigi sometime."

"I can't abandon my own brother."

"It's not abandoning." The princess had moved closer, and she was now standing right next to him. "It's just letting go and letting him live his own life. You can't hold on to Luigi forever."

Mario sighed. "Princess... I don't wish to discuss this any further. I'll sort out my own problems. I know that I can't keep holding him back forever, it's just that..." He trailed off. Just what? Why couldn't he just let go of his brother? Because he was so used to having Luigi around him, perhaps? Mario didn't know.

"Mario... Luigi is not a child. Please remember that." Princess Peach implored. But she wasn't getting through and she knew it all too well; she sighed, looked at the red-clad plumber sadly, and quietly walked out of the suite. Mario heard her high heeled shoes clicking faintly as she turned the corner, and strode over to the door, shutting it with a thud. He then slid down the door and stayed sitting on the carpeted ground, head buried in his arms.

That encounter had not been the most pleasant one.

Yes, he was miserable. Yes, he couldn't get over the fact that Luigi and Snake were friends. And yes, he knew that he was driving away people who truly wanted to help. He didn't want to think about the brawl that had gotten Luigi injured, but at the same time he couldn't stop dwelling on it; this made him permanently moody and depressed. As much as he wanted to forget that brawl, Mario couldn't get rid of one thought; Luigi had been hit by a stray attack that day before getting hit with the rubble. But he didn't know just _whose_ attack it had been. What if he had been the one who'd launched that attack? What if...

..._he_ had injured his own brother?

"No...!" He muttered to himself, shaking his head, trying to get a grip on himself. He couldn't have done it. He just _couldn't_ have hurt his own brother. It wasn't his fault - there were two other Smashers apart from him in the arena at that time. It could have been anyone's attack. But he couldn't get rid of that one horrible thought, and sunk down deeper into his well of misery, forgetting about everything else. He couldn't have done it. He would never, _never_ injure his own younger brother...

He wasn't a bad person.

He really wasn't.

Really.


	13. 13: Saturday Night Fever

**Author's Note:** I seem to be getting less reviews lately. O.o Maybe the quality of my writing has slipped. I'm going to try harder to counter that. School's over for the week, so amen.

Nothing much happens in this chapter. There is a poker game, just like what happens in nearly every oneshot collection in existance. And then the four Smashers attempt to crash a certain event with lots of weird things happening in between. This is a strictly Snake, Luigi, Meta Knight and Jigglypuff chapter. Just wanted to write about what the four would get up to when together.

No tl;dr-ness. On to the fic!

Additional Note (27/05/08): Oh god I just woke up and saw what I wrote... and bleh. I have nothing against K. K. Slider nor Mr. Resetti. In fact, K. K. Condor is one of my favourite songs in Brawl. It's so deliciously random. xD

* * *

"Done now?"

"Yes." A shuffle. "The action's on you, Luigi."

A humming sound. "What was the ante again? Two coins?"

"Yes, for all four of us." A different voice answered, this one female. A clinking sound was heard. "Go on. You can open this round."

"Fine, Jigglypuff. Fine. I bet five coins."

"Fold." Another voice called. The owner of the voice threw his cards facedown and withdrew to a corner. "I can't play this. Thirteen coins already in the game are far too much." He then shuffled around for a while, getting out a book and burying his face into it. The remaining three players cast a glance to the corner, looking rather put off.

"Meta Knight, are you sure you'll fold?" Luigi asked. "But it's so soon into the game."

"Positive." Came the reply. "Good luck to the rest of your game. I'll buy a drink to the winner." And then Meta Knight said nothing more, only moving once or twice to flip the page.

"Leave him." Luigi said, staring hard into his cards. "Meta Knight seldom changes his mind. Any other one of you folding?"

The male wearing skin-tight clothes and a green bandanna snickered. "I'm sure not. I've got a great hand here. Jigglypuff, will you fold?"

The pokemon offered him a sweet smile, a soft laugh escaping her. "I won't fold that easily. You underestimate me, Snake. You're not the only one with a great hand." Snake nodded, respecting her decision. He stretched lightly and took the poker chip off the deck of cards sitting in the middle.

"The betting round's closed now. Jigglypuff, you go first. Want to replace anything?"

"I want to replace two." Snake dealt her two cards, and received her discarded ones from her short stumpy arms, putting them at the back of the pile. He was enjoying the way this game was going - shame Meta Knight had folded, though, because the knight was a challenge to defeat. But then Kirby was right in the next room, tucking into some apples. He could wander in any time. It wouldn't be right for him to set such an example by playing poker right in front of his pupil.

"And you, Luigi?"

"Three." Snake nodded, discarding his three cards and dealing him three fresh ones. Luigi glanced at his cards; for a moment his eyes seemed to widen, but then the momentary illusion was gone and his expression remained cool and calculating as ever. Jigglypuff was looking at her deck of cards, frowning lightly. Snake did not miss those little changes in the gaze of the players, and silently dealt himself three new cards, just like Luigi. "Alright. Let the second round begin. Jigglypuff?"

She briefly looked up at the ceiling, and then back at her cards. "Check."

"Luigi?"

"Ten more coins." Snake moved the chips to the centre, building up that particular amount. Jigglypuff started uneasily at the news, and glanced at Meta Knight, who remained oblivious to the game and merely turned another page. There was no help there. Snake leaned forwards, a small smirk gracing his face at this observation, and looked into Luigi's eyes.

"Raise. Fifteen coins."

"I fold." Jigglypuff blurted out, throwing down her deck of cards and rolling around to the corner to join her date. "The game was fine, but - look, I know you're men. I know you like your share of gambling and betting. But I can't... afford this. Just go on by yourself. I shouldn't have agreed to playing this game."

"That's very sexist." Snake stated, deadpan. "I know that Zelda likes betting more than we do. And last time I checked, I distinctly recall that she was female."

The blue knight sighed, cutting off the discussion. "Just get on with it already, will you?"

"All right, all right." Snake muttered, and looked at Luigi. "So you're the only one left, eh? Want to raise? Or fold?"

Luigi smiled lightly. "Raise. Fifteen coins."

"Raise. Sixteen coins." Snake said, moving the chips to the centre and piling them up. "This is quite a lot, no?"

"No." Luigi replied. "Call."

"I call. This betting round is over." The mercenary announced, and glanced at his partner. "But then, if there's only two of us, and neither of us will fold... I'm guessing we'll have to show?"

The younger Mario brother blinked and glanced quickly down at his cards, looking rather alarmed. Snake did not miss this, but kept his voice calm and level as he addressed his partner again. "Luigi, we're going to have to show our hand. Want me to go first?"

"Well, you're the dealer."

"That doesn't answer my question." The mercenary said smoothly. Luigi frowned and then nodded. "Very well, then."

And then he placed down his cards face up, showing Luigi his hand. The mercenary smiled at the stunned look on Luigi's face. "That's right." He said softly. "A King, a ten, a seven, a five and a two of Spades. That's a flush." He smirked and leaned back. "I've got myself a great hand this time, you know. You don't get flushes everyday. Come on then, show me yours."

Luigi had not said anything, nor had he really responded to anything that Snake had said. He gazed at the five cards that Snake had put down, and then at his hand, apparently emotionless; the mercenary was shocked, and slightly disturbed, when the green-clad plumber finally raised his head and revealed a glimmering smile.

"Nice try." He laughed, and placed down his hand.

Snake looked, and then froze, his shoulders stiffening. His eyes were unusually wide, his lips parted in surprise; he glanced up with an almost frightened look, and Luigi smiled again.

"I got three Kings from Hearts, Clubs and Diamonds... and two Aces from Hearts and Spades. Full house." He then let out a short chuckle. "And I believe that a full house is worth more than a flush. Looks like I take the pot, then. You lost."

"But... but..." Snake was literally speechless; the scared, somewhat worried looks Luigi had had throughout the whole game had been a bluff. Of course! Luigi had an almost-perfect hand with him all this time. After all, Aces and Kings in a full house? No one - unless they'd had a four of a kind or a straight flush - had much of a chance of beating that. And he, Solid Snake, had completely fallen for it... all because he'd believed too much in his cards. Luigi was already sorting out the chips and had taken the coins beforehand, humming a little tune to himself.

"Don't be too upset." He said as if he'd read Snake's thoughts. "After all, you won last Monday. Couldn't afford my daily intake of chocolate all that week."

"Yes, but with such a large number of coins..."

"You shouldn't have called a raise in the second betting round." Mata Knight called, effectively cutting both of them short. He set down the book and let Jigglypuff snuggle closer to him, all without obvious change in expression nor voice. "Then Jiggly here wouldn't have folded and you could have had better chances. If you weren't ever going to fold, Snake, then..." He trailed off, and turned his attention to Luigi. "Since you won, I keep my word. I'll buy you a drink. Do you want it now? Or some other time?"

Luigi considered this carefully; he liked his share of drink, but going down to the bar seemed a bit too simple. And besides, Snake was much too crushed to cheer up with a mere drink. Right now he needed... solid substance. Oh yes. He vaguely thought back to a couple of hours ago, when Snake had stated that he wanted some pizza.

So pizza they would have.

"I crave some Mona Pizza."

"Oooh, I love pizza!" Jigglypuff exclaimed, suddenly cheered up and disturbingly happy. Meta Knight glanced at his date and then at Snake; only to find that he wasn't actually there.

"Hang on a minute, where's Sna-"

"_Mona Pizza_-!" They heard the mercenary scream outside, already sprinting down the corridor and catching a ride on the banisters, and sighed.

"Oh dear God..."

* * *

Twenty minutes later, they were sitting on a cafe table near a fountain in Smashville. The area was quiet enough, with a few people drinking coffee and spooning up the froth with their long silver spoons. The cafe seemed to be rather popular; customers regularly went into the main cafe, always emerging with a smile and a drink in their hands - perhaps with a biscuit or two. Or a cake. But this wasn't the main point - the aforementioned four Smashers were sitting on a particular table outside, overlooking an empty stage with fancy lights. Four boxes of pizza were lying on the table, with the four tucking into their own pizza in silence. Luigi took a sip of his rose wine - a treat from Meta Knight - while Snake had to make do with beer. Meta Knight and Jigglypuff had an extra-large vanilla ice-cream soda which they were sharing.

"There's nothing like wine with pizza." Luigi broke the silence.

"You're Italian." Snake said, taking a sip of his beer. "Hardly surprising."

"That's very stereotypical. Mario doesn't like wine with pizza and he's my brother."

"What does he like?"

"He likes gelato."

Snake slammed his head onto the table. "You know what, Luigi, you've just proved my point. Why do I even _bother_ arguing with you?"

Meta Knight and Jigglypuff watched this exchange in silence. The former sucked some vanilla-flavoured ice-cream out of the soda with his straw, unwilling to remove his mask to eat it properly with a spoon. The pokemon simply watched him, being accustomed to the other refusing to remove his mask to eat; his pizza he was managing to slide through the gap between his mask and mouth, so he was having little problems with that. The pokemon made a mental note to remind him to clean his mask free of tomato sauce, and turned back to the other two Smashers.

"Don't you two ever stop squabbling amongst yourselves?"

"We usually get along." Luigi replied calmly. "It's just occasionally our eating habits come into question."

Snake didn't bother to give a reply, and sat up, taking another slice of pizza, folding it in half and taking a bite. He looked around the cafe with careful observing eyes; a few customer looked at uneasily, but when he gazed at them with his narrow grey eyes they winced and quickly turned back.

"This cafe's great." The mercenary stated. "Have you been here before?"

"Oh yes." Jigglypuff chirped. "We've been here a lot. The chocolate gateau and espresso are _fabulous_. Try it sometime. And there are night-time concerts sometimes-"

"What day is it today?" Meta Knight asked, suddenly sounding fearful. Luigi and Snake looked oddly at him, but they answered nonetheless.

"Saturday."

"And what time is it?"

"Seven fifty-eight p.m..."

"God no." The blue knight looked around frantically, but none of them had finished their pizza. In fact, they were only just halfway through. "Can... can we relocate somewhere else? Please?"

Snake raised an eyebrow. "And that location will be?"

"I don't know... Shadow Moses? Delfino Plaza? We _have_ to get out."

"Calm down, Meta." Jigglypuff said, looking worried for her date. "No go, I'm afraid. Delfino Plaza's being used now. And I think Shadow Moses is too. Is that right, Snake?"

"Let me check." Snake pulled out his codec and pressed a few buttons, holding it up to his ear. Meta Knight watched in tense silence as the mercenary quietly listened to whatever was being said; Snake put down the codec soon, turned it off and replaced it back in his pocket. "You're right. Shadow Moses is being used right now. For a very nasty brawl, I daresay. And besides, why relocate? I don't want my pizza to get cold. Especially when it's from Mona Pizza."

The masked knight was about to protest, but froze when screams of an unnatural pitch suddenly rang out in the square. Even the coffee barista behind the counter threw down his towel, turned his espresso machines off and ran out of the cafe, screeching hysterically. Luigi, Snake and Jigglypuff watched this with faint interest, but without much surprise; while Meta Knight gulped and ducked down.

"_That's_ why." He faintly croaked out, pointing at the large previously-vacant stage.

The stage lights were turned on, illuminating the centre with brilliant red, green and blue. Many people were gathered around it now, clapping, cheering and screaming; however there was no one up there, and the three were momentarily confused (except Meta Knight, who had wrapped his cloak around himself and was shivering violently underneath).

"And this is so scary because...?" Snake asked, one eyebrow raised. He was answered mere seconds later when a little white dog with a guitar was lowered onto the stage, and the crowd at the front began screaming even louder.

"Who the..."

"And for his usual weekly Saturday Night concert..." Master Hand's voice suddenly boomed out from the loudspeakers. "I present to you... DJ K. K. Slider!"

The crowd went completely wild. The little DJ sat down on a stool, smiling and taking a bow. "Good evening!" He called out. "Good evening! What a pleasure to see you all! For the first song of tonight's concert... what would you like me to play? Shout it out loud and clear!"

A few shouts were heard from the front of the stage, but one person yelled "K. K. Condor!" - and then suddenly everyone was repeating the name of the song, demanding for said song to be played first. "Yeah, K. K. Condor! Give us K. K. Condor!"

"All right!" The DJ called. "This is far out! Get ready to groove to K. K. Condor!"

And then he strummed on his guitar... and began to squeak out a series of unintelligible sounds to the tune.

"...What the..." Luigi finally muttered, after the four Smashers had listened to this for some time. "...Doesn't he _sing_? Properly?"

"That's just K. K. Slider. He never sings properly." Jigglypuff replied. "Oh, K. K. Condor... one of the absolute classics... It's one of the few I like..."

"You actually _listen_ to this?" Snake asked, looking rather disturbed at the thought. "This resembles... irritating background music. That's what it is. I mean - it's not bad. Why, it isn't a corny song. It's better than that depressing love ballad that plays every Monday in Shadow Moses, but..."

"But that ballad is _beautiful_." Luigi put in. "You just don't know what's good and what's distasteful in music."

"Would you want to brawl with something that depressing playing in the background? I think not." Snake sighed and looked down. "Meta Knight, are you all right?"

"My ears..." The blue knight moaned, shifting so that he was curled up more tightly within his cloak. "Snake?"

"Yes?"

Meta Knight raised his head and looked into the soldier's eyes. "Grant me one wish before I die because of that music."

Snake stared back, unamused. "If your wish relates to a quick overkill of the entire crowd, along with that DJ..."

"Something close to that." The knight laughed weakly. "Do you happen to have an Assist Trophy with you? One that you won't miss?"

Snake considered this for a moment. It was a trend nowadays to keep one or two unopened Assist Trophies in one's pockets or any other safe place; nearly all Smashers did this, except for Kirby, R.O.B. and Mr. Game and Watch, who quite frankly didn't have pockets nor relied on Assist Trophies. The items were safe and did not just pop out on their own, as Assist Trophies required the owner to raise one over their head to work. Master Hand didn't particularly approve of this practice, but there was very little he could do about this. Luigi leaned over, now interested in the conversation, and looked at both of the Smashers.

"I might do." Snake searched in his pockets and shook his head. "Nope. I can't find any. Must have left them in the suite."

"I have a couple." Luigi interrupted, and he pulled out two small capsules from his overalls. "And I know who's in there. Lucario told me."

Meta Knight's eyes brightened, and he gazed intently at the capsules. "Anything that you won't particularly miss?"

"Well..." Luigi hesitated to answer, but picked one out and gave it to Meta Knight. "That one I'll be too glad to get rid of, really."

"What is it?" Snake asked. "You giving up an Assist Trophy? Must be a very annoying one... or useless... for you to give that one up." Luigi merely smiled and gestured at Meta Knight.

"Go on. Use it. You'll see."

"Hey, I was supposed to play the wish-granting genie here." Snake protested, but Luigi merely chuckled and pulled the mercenary close. "Hey! Get off... Luigi, for God's sake..." He tried in vain to struggle free, but Luigi simply held on too tight. "Are you drunk or something?"

Luigi ignored him. "You go, Meta Knight. Use it."

"Oh no, don't." Jigglypuff, who had stayed silent all the time up until now, protested. "That isn't fair on K. K. Slider, or any others around here. What if it's a really nasty Assist Trophy like... Andross? Or Waluigi?"

The green-clad plumber shuddered, and pulled away from Snake. "Ugh! He never wants to kick my opponents off for me. And besides this particular Trophy puts Waluigi to shame. And don't worry," He assured her. "He's safe. It's just that he has the power to drive off a large crowd without even touching them. Hurry up, Meta Knight, before your ears bleed."

The blue knight looked at the capsule for a moment, but then suddenly, with one decisive movement he held up the Assist Trophy above his head, activating it.

There was a blue flash of light - and then an unfortunately-famillar growl tore through the air, stunning the crowd.

"GRAAAAHHHH!"

Instantly, everyone cheering for K. K. Slider fell silent and stared towards the source of the sound. What they saw made them gasp and draw back sharply; right below the stage, in full view, was the infamous and very angry Mr. Resetti waving his pickaxe around. Even the famed DJ stopped playing at this horrifying discovery.

"Call _that_ music!" The permanently-enraged mole screeched. "Call that stupid bunch of unintelligible noises music! Are you out of your bloomin' mind, lad?" K. K. Slider merely stared at the mole, as did many of his fans. Some were backing away slowly.

"Yeah, I'm talkin' to _you_!" Mr. Resetti screamed, his eyes almost popping out of his sockets. "So what do you think you're doing? Huh? Let me ask you that. _What_ did you just do?"

"...I played a song?" K. K. Slider offered, trying to be as polite as possible.

Mr. Resetti almost exploded.

"_Wrong_!" He screamed. "Wrong! And you'll _always_ be wrong! See, whenever you play that disastrous combination of noises that you call music around me, you make this unbearable tremor in the earth that just about drives me mad! And I'm only one mole, you know. And I got high blood pressure. You're a real piece of work, aren't ya?"

"But... it's my concert time, it's only once a week-"

As the strained argument between the mole and the DJ continued, many of the fans simply gave up and began dispersing into the distance. The barista returned to his counter and meekly began polishing the shotglasses, the owner of the cafe pulled down the shutters and the customers finished off their coffee and left the cafe in silence. No one bothered to do anything with Mr. Resetti - the mole was unstoppable and everyone knew it. Meanwhile, the four Smashers watched in awe, seeing the mole screaming and raving at the poor DJ.

"Wow." Snake finally said. "That's why you wanted to get rid of that one."

"And it's more effective than overkill." Meta Knight put in.

Jigglypuff sighed. "Well... I guess it wouldn't hurt to have his concert interrupted once. His new song is absolutely _terrible_."

Luigi said nothing, but fixed his eyes on K. K. Slider and Mr. Resetti, silently watching.

"...And finally... take a bath, will you?" Mr. Resetti shouted. "All right? Now SCRAM!"

K. K. Slider knew better than to argue. He had lost his audience, and there was no point anymore. He picked up his guitar, and with a confused wail leapt off the stage, soon dissolving into the background; he wouldn't be back for another week. The mole huffed and was about to go underground once more when he caught sight of the four still staring at him.

"Had a good gawp, eh?" He shouted at them, wildly waving around his pickaxe. "You nosy fools! Come over here! Yes, I'm talkin' to _you_, you twerps!"

"It's time we were off." Snake said quietly, turning his head away. "Meet up tomorrow. Here. Bring the cards, Meta Knight. We'll have another game of poker."

"Yes."

"I _said,_ come over here!" Mr. Resetti hollered, but they were no longer listening.

"Farewell." Meta Knight saluted with his sword. "Jigglypuff and I shall retreat to Halberd and perform the necessary checks for the night. We will return to the hotel shortly." He then took his date in his short stumpy arms and flew off into the distance, his cloak-wings fluttering strongly behind him. Within moments they were out of sight.

"...They're gone." Luigi said.

"Yes."

"...Think they're really going to check for faults in the Halberd?"

"Not really. Shall we finish our pizzas in the kitchen?" Snake offered. Luigi nodded, and took up the pizza boxes in his hand, drinking the last of his wine and standing up.

"Come on. It must be dinnertime over there. We'll be able to sneak in." And they left together, hand-in-hand.

Mr. Resetti barfed.


	14. 14: Inner Comfort

**Author's Note:** Oh ack. I hardly know what happened in this chapter. It sounds like a rip-off of 'A Simple Hug', which is another friendship fic in this section that I enjoy reading.

This would be a two-part storyline, I think. I've decided to look into Snake's inner turmoil and very messed up feelings, because I don't think I've written about that much. We've had enough humour and fluffiness... so let's have some depressing scenes... and depending on how you look at it, more fluffiness. It probably doesn't help that I've written the whole thing literally only listening to 'K. K. Ballad' and 'K. K. Love Song'. Totakeke is a good source of background music. No words to mess up your thoughts, yet beautiful guitar rhythms and melodies. I love that guy. Honestly. xD

FRIENDS. FRIENDS. JUST FRIENDS. Being very close to each other, yes, but if two guys nowadays can't hug or go out for a meal together without being gay... x.x

This chapter develops Snake's thoughts at this present moment in the whole series. It's not a _very_ depressing one. But I can assure you that the next one will be quite dark. Just to warn you. x.x

* * *

It was a beautiful morning.

"God, I'm tired..." Snake mumbled as he went down the stairs towards the breakfast bar. His hair was disheveled and only was kept in a somewhat acceptable style by his new bandanna - and he wasn't wearing any of his weapons or his suit. He was just in his black shirt and trousers, looking dazed and half out of it. He was so tired at mornings recently. Perhaps it was due to his break from the usual stay-awake-or-be-killed routine.

When he stumbled down to the bar, he found that it was mostly deserted. Toon Link was in the corner, eating chips with ketchup and playing with his little pet pig. One of the Ice Climbers - Popo - was slumped over one of the tables, and failed to notice Snake (who had flinched away at this unsettling discovery). And there was Mario - he didn't look as if he was really paying attention to his surroundings. He nibbled daintily at his toast with marmalade, turning the pages on a broadsheet newspaper and reading the articles. Sometimes he would frown and bite his lip, but that was it. He had not noticed Snake. The mercenary glanced at him, but didn't really acknowledge him at all; he was simply too tired to care.

"One coffee... cream and sugar, hun." He went up the counter and placed his order with a slur in his voice. The Hammer Bro behind the counter looked at him oddly.

"I'm a guy. You aren't my type. Sorry."

"Ah, damn it." Snake muttered. "Listen here. I'm tired and in severe need of some coffee and sugar. I might be unarmed but I can still take you down. Now just shut your mouth and get me the damn coffee like a good barista. Or..."

The Hammer Bro gulped, and nodded hastily, turning around and calling to the others in the kitchen. "One... coffee... um, with cream and sugar."

"Americano?" Came the reply, which sounded suspiciously like Stafy's.

"No. _Cappuccino_! How many times must I tell you that cream and sugar equals a cappuccino?"

Snake sighed, feeling a migraine form. He couldn't stand arguments this early in the morning. He rubbed his temples, frowning softly; and it was a really bad time to get a migraine, with all the brawls he had lined up today. He had a grand total of three that day, all on Shadow Moses Island - and he was beginning to question the nature of this strange tournament. What was Master Hand actually trying to find in all the Smashers? Some people got injured, sometimes Master Hand himself had to halt the brawls; Luigi had told him that this went on for months, and then in the last month they would each undergo a different mode of brawling before they all went their separate ways. Snake, being a very suspicious person by nature, didn't particularly like the way that Master Hand kept everything secret from the Smashers. They were three and a half months into the tournament, which, in its entirety, went on for 'seven or eight months' according to previous veterans.

"Good morning, everyone!" A happy voice called from the entrance of the bar, and Snake turned his head towards the speaker. Luigi was coming down the stairs, looking freshly washed and cheerful. He opened his mouth to greet him, but soon closed it as he watched the following exchange with an unfathomable look on his face.

"Mario!" Luigi called, not noticing Snake (who was in the shadowy corner of the order counter, far away from the tables) and instead going up to his brother's table. Mario had just finished his coffee, and was folding up his newspaper, getting ready to leave; but he looked up as Luigi called him, and a bright smile appeared on his face. Snake noted that he had been looking depressed just seconds ago, yet he was smiling in his brother's presence - did Luigi mean so much to him?

"Good morning, Bro." Mario replied, standing up, and laughed softly as Luigi wrapped his arms around him in a morning hug. "Slept well?"

"I did indeed." Luigi nodded and smiled, still holding tight onto his brother. "And you?"

"Same here. You're in a good mood today, wanting a hug from me this early." Mario chuckled and hugged his brother in return. Snake watched them from the bar, knowing that he was technically spying on what was meant to be a brotherly, private moment - but Mario's reactions to Luigi were not what he had expected. "Going for a brawl today?"

Luigi thought for a moment and then replied: "In Pictochat and Final Destination."

"I'm due in for-"

"Good morning, Smashers." Master Hand's voice rang out from the bar speakers. Everyone's head swiveled around in the direction of the speakers, except for Snake's - he was still intensely watching the two. "For today's first brawl... Mario versus Mr. Game and Watch. Please get ready for your brawl. Your brawl location is Delfino Plaza. The match will commence in thirty minutes. As Delfino Plaza is a far-out location from the hotel, please watch the time carefully. You shall be alerted via the loudspeakers five minutes prior to your brawl."

The brothers sighed. "Master Hand talks too much." Mario said, shaking his head. "I guess he answered for me, then. I better get going. What he means by 'watching the time carefully' is-"

"-to go to the waiting room and stay there for the whole half hour." Luigi finished. "I get you, Bro. Good luck with Game and Watch. Mind you, he's not in a good mood. R.O.B. nearly incinerated him yesterday, so he's still being really antisocial."

The older Mario brother laughed and ruffled Luigi's hair; the latter grinned and nuzzled into Mario's arms. "Thanks, Luigi. Glad to see that you can still read my mind. You used to do that all the time when we were kids - when we were completely oblivious and I was learning to jump six feet."

Luigi giggled. "You can read mine too, Bro. The jumping thing was what I was thinking."

Mario laughed and patted his brother on the shoulder. He glanced up at the clock, still smiling. "...I'd best be going. Good luck with your brawls today." Mario gave his brother one last tight squeeze, and waved goodbye, walking out of the bar. Luigi waved back with his cap, making the two brothers grin at each other again. Snake watched all of this, never once looking away. Mario departed from the bar and was soon out of sight; Luigi took his place, putting his brother's used cup away and taking up the newspaper in his hands.

"Cappuccino's up." The Hammer Bro called, putting a large cup full of hot, foamy coffee in front of Snake. "Hello? Wake up! What are you looking at?"

"Huh? What?" The mercenary glanced around quickly, and then stared blankly at the cup of coffee before he clicked back into place and started to count out the money. But the Hammer Bro had already seen what he was gazing at; he turned and looked at Snake.

"I advise you not to go spying after the Mario brothers." He whispered. "You should have seen Mario at dawn. He stumbled down here, miserable and in need of a drink. He wouldn't talk about anything much but just sat there sipping his brew for the whole hour. I had to persuade him to go back to his suite, I did."

"That's nice." Snake murmured, not really paying attention. The Hammer Bro's gaze narrowed, and he glanced around furtively before leaning down and talking in a low voice.

"Look. I'm serious." He said urgently. "One thing I do know is that he's miserable because Mr. Lean and Green won't take much notice of him anymore. Mario's younger brother that is." He explained, as Snake looked blank at the nickname. "Don't know why Mario's so fussed, I said so myself. He can't hold on to his brother for all eternity. But he seemed really down and depressed because of it. I've just seen them having their little morning hug, and Mario looked happier than he's looked in ages. So don't you go spoil it. He deserves some happiness for himself." Done with his talk, the Hammer Bro nodded and turned back to the kitchen. "Stafy! How are the chocolate muffins doing? If you've burnt them again..."

Snake stood there for a second, staring blankly into thin air; but then he took up his coffee so suddenly that a little bit spilled from the cup. Taking no notice of this, he went and got himself a little container of sugar, and then sat down on the table furthest from Luigi - the latter failed to notice, as he was busy reading the newspaper. And he didn't particularly want to be seen. Hiding out in the dark corner, Snake took a small sip of his cappuccino and thought back to five minutes ago.

What was Mario doing, pretending that everything was all right? And furthermore, was Mario even telling his younger brother anything? Snake hadn't told Luigi of the last argument he'd had with Mario, but expected him to at least know about it. So far the green-clad plumber hadn't shown any signs that he knew anything; the mercenary had passed it off, thinking that he and Mario had both been forgiven. But now he was thinking again about it; it seemed likely that Luigi really didn't know.

He took another sip of his coffee. There had been that look in Mario's eyes - one of fatigue and half frustration - that Snake hadn't liked. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his expression had turned more negative. It was so obvious that the red-clad plumber was hiding something from Luigi, and it was making him miserable.

And Luigi deserved to know about the argument at least.

"How long is he going to keep it from Luigi?" He muttered to himself. "How long is he going to pretend that everything's alright? The fool!" He downed the last of his coffee, and quietly left the bar, looking back only once to see the younger Mario brother. The latter was checking his watch and glancing at the bar entrance, wondering when Snake would come. Wanting to go and talk to Luigi so much, yet unable to face him that morning, the soldier walked away to his first brawl with a heavy heart.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Snake was hiding out in Shadow Moses, inside his box. He'd just finished all of his brawls and was tired beyond belief; but he was still holding out, because he had some things to do there. As the semi-owner of Shadow Moses Island, he would be the one checking the overall look of the entire area and making small reports. The Shadow Moses R.O.B. would do the rest of the cleaning and such. He frowned as he lightly bit the end on his pen; the brawls had helped to take his mind off what he'd seen that morning, but now he had nothing better to do he was remembering again. The whole conversation with the Hammer Bro, and Mario's reaction to Luigi made him feel uncomfortable. Mario had been a shallow figure to him, one he didn't know well and didn't particularly _want_ to know. Mario was simply selfish and overprotective in his eyes, much too one-dimensional; yet now that he'd seen the other side of the man, Snake couldn't help but pity him a little. He knew that Mario was unhappy.

Snake didn't feel that it was his place to tell Luigi what Mario hadn't. The younger Mario brother deserved to hear the full explanation from Mario first. Then Snake could give his version of events and let Luigi make his own decisions. But the fact was that he wasn't Luigi's relative, nor family; he was merely a friend, and the mercenary knew perfectly that family came before friends in situations like this. But he couldn't just leave Luigi oblivious either.

While he was contemplating this, a boy by the name of Lucas was walking around Shadow Moses, hopelessly calling for his Rope Snake.

"Rope Snake... where are you..." He called softly, fully knowing that the object could not answer back. Back in his home world, it could, but not here. He found Shadow Moses too empty and disturbing for him; more than once the spotlights had almost caught him, and he had only just managed to tiptoe out of the way as those lights swept by. Why had he left the Rope Snake in the arena, for God's sake? Lucas sighed - he'd searched the whole of the ground floor, but there had been nothing. The boy inched upwards and grabbed hold of a platform, heaving himself up to the first floor and looking for a flash of red.

"Rope Sna-" He called out, but the words died in his throat as he stared at the object lying in the corner. It was a cardboard box, unmoving and silent. There was seemingly nothing on it; Lucas briefly considered looking through the box, but ultimately decided against it as it seemed to be upside-down. He inched over to the cardboard box carefully, unaware that a very alert mercenary was watching him from the interior.

"What's this?" Lucas looked, finding nothing special, and mindlessly kicked the cardboard box. "Stupid..."

Snake instantly felt his temper skyrocket to nowhere. That boy had kicked his box. _His_ box. And he'd been rather annoyed with all his problems too - the brat would _pay_. The fact that Lucas had suffered through unbelievable hardships before entering the tournament, and probably deserved a break at the very least, did not strike him at that moment. He leapt out with a low growl, and pounced on the poor boy, jamming a gun to his throat and putting one arm around his chest, crushing him so he couldn't escape. Lucas yelped and struggled, to no avail. The soldier merely held him tighter.

"Let's get the options clear." He growled. "You can either keep your nasty mouth shut and die a horrible death, or explain - at least attempt to - why you happened to kick my box... and die an equally horrible death. Your choice."

"Is... is there an option _not _to die at all?" Lucas stuttered, glancing back at Snake with terrified eyes. "I'm... I'm sorry! I didn't know-"

"That's _not_ an answer to my question!" The mercenary snarled, making the poor boy whimper and start crying. "Now answer me properly! Why did you kick my box? Talk quickly, brat, or I'll make sure you die in the most terrible way known to mankind; death by codec!" But the boy was simply too frightened to talk, and only looked at him, tears running down his cheeks and trembling.

And indeed, Lucas would have died a slow and painful death by codec - had help not arrived on the scene.

"Oh, let Lucas go, Snake!" Luigi's voice called from below, and in a second the younger Mario brother had neatly landed on the platform, crossing his arms. "He's just a boy. And I know you aren't that cruel. I mean, death by codec? Leave him alone, for God's sake."

Snake sighed; he did not appreciate interruptions, but it was Luigi who had made the request after all and he couldn't well refuse. Very slowly, and very reluctantly, he released his grip on the blond boy, who jumped free and gazed at him with a scared expression. Snake shot him a death-glare, and Lucas flinched sharply, eventually turning and running away at full speed.

"And don't come back!" Snake hollered after the boy, before slumping down on the cold steel floor and looking at Luigi. "What brought you here?"

Luigi walked over and sat down next to Snake, who promptly pulled another box down on top of them both. "I wanted to see you. I went to your suite, but you didn't answer... so I figured that you'd be here." Snake looked at him sharply, the light filtering thorugh the side holes of the box allowing him to see the other man clearly. "Where were you at breakfast? I waited for you for a long time. You didn't show up." Luigi looked upset at the memory, and sighed; the mercenary momentarily considered telling him that he had indeed been in the breakfast bar, but decided against it. He would have to explain things that he didn't have a right to explain.

"I skipped breakfast. Sorry about that... just wasn't hungry..." Snake replied, carefully watching Luigi's reaction. The latter seemed to be vaguely worried, but he seemed to buy the story, encouraging the mercenary to continue. "I had a brawl lined up straight after the breakfast hour anyway. That's why I didn't come. I apologize if you were worried. So what happened at breakfast?"

Luigi's expression turned less severe, a dreamy kind of look filling his face. Snake stared at him, mildly disturbed, and backed into the sides of the box slightly.

"It was cutest thing ever." Luigi murmured. "Guess what? Jigglypuff kissed Meta Knight! In full view of everyone! The bar just went about crazy. I even saw Samus Aran cheering."

"...Samus Aran cheering?" Snake repeated, aghast. "Did she even _know_ how to cheer?"

"And Princess Peach was throwing champagne around with Princess Zelda. It was the cutest and most craziest thing I've seen this month. Master Hand had to arrive to quieten everyone down. You should have been there."

Snake considered this briefly. "I'd have come... to see Samus cheer. Other than that... nah."

"Why not? Meta Knight and Jigglypuff were so cute!" Luigi protested. "Are you a romance hater or something?"

"Nah." Snake grinned. "I just don't do mushy stuff. I do homicide. Care to join me sometime?"

"Um..." Luigi laughed nervously. "Thanks... but no thanks. I'll stick to 1-UPs and being friendly to everyone."

Snake 'hmph'ed. "Huh. Shame about that. I was looking forward to unleashing the Negative Zone on the victims with you. I like watching them stumble around like drunks."

"See if it's funny when you get caught in it, though." Luigi retorted, pouting lightly. "I'm the only one resistant to it, so get yourself caught in the Negative Zone once, why don't you? Let's see if you can laugh, then."

"Oh, I would." Snake replied loftily and pinched Luigi's cheek. "And that's for not being co-operative. You just completely _shattered_ my hopes, Luigi-"

The green-clad plumber winced at the pinch, and rolled free of Snake's grasp, starting to giggle despite the pain. "By the way you go on about it anyone would think I broke your _heart_! Stop going on about it!"

"But I'm still your friend, Luigi. You know that, don't you?"

"Of course I do, silly." The green-clad plumber punched him lightly on the shoulder, but he stopped giggling, and sat quite still, matching Snake's gaze with his own. "You're a good friend... my best friend... and I mean that. You've done a lot for me, Snake."

"I'm not forgetting what you've done for me, either. Remember the 1-UPs and this?" The mercenary gestured to the bandanna. In response, Luigi pulled up his overall legs a little, showing long, black-striped socks. "You're wearing it, too. It suits you."

"Thanks." Luigi smiled, and then they both fell into a comfortable silence. Snake resumed writing up his Shadow Moses report, idly ticking off some of the options provided in the form. The other watched him for a while, but then turned and peeped out of the hole on the side of the box, observing the surroundings. The island was deserted now, with no trace of Lucas or any other Smashers. The arena wouldn't be used again until tomorrow. He withdrew and shivered lightly, despite the box being warm due to their body heat. Luigi craved warmth; the box was warm enough, but what he wanted was someone to hold onto. Unfortunately, he couldn't get anyone to hug him most days. This was because Luigi had a penchant for hugging people without consent, and without taking any notice of the surroundings.

It wasn't that he would run up to a random person and ask for a hug. He was already too much of an advanced hugger for that. He usually kept it to himself, but once he either got drunk or so exhausted that he would go half insane, there was no stopping his hugfest.

The only one who could counter this one, so far, was Mario. Mario knew his brother more well than any other Smasher, and when things like this happened, he would give Luigi a tight little squeeze of his own and give him some coffee to calm his nerves. He was the only one who Luigi could be perfectly assured that he wouldn't injure or otherwise traumatize during his little 'moments'. A willing tight hug and coffee with lots of cream and sugar - to him, that was the antidote to everything. And he liked it that way.

But the other Smashers, of course, didn't know that. So Luigi would go around, wrecking much havoc, until he found Mario or he calmed down by himself. Quite often this resulted in accidents - one time he'd been brawling too much and just had this urge to cling on to anyone for extra comfort and warmth. Captain Olimar had been his unfortunate target - he himself had jumped out of the way before Luigi had managed to grab onto his spacesuit, but his Pikmin were not so lucky.

"_Hug_!" Luigi had screamed, and dived in Captain Olimar's general direction. The latter hopped out of the way, and Luigi tripped, accidentally squashing all six Pikmin under his body. When the little Captain had recovered from the shock, he looked to find the younger Mario brother sprawled across a ditch, surrounded by faint Pikmin spirits.

Olimar had hit the roof.

But it wasn't quite Luigi's fault that he wanted hugs from people. All his life he'd been rather under pressure - what with having so many phobias as a child, being constantly scared by his enemies and the disadvantages of being a kid brother to Mario - and he wanted to make sure that he was safe, secure and amongst kind company. One simple hug could help him relax. That had been his childhood habit; whenever he felt down, or scared, he would cling to Mario and hold on tight. The habit had stuck, and now anyone he was even mildly friendly with would be included in the list of potential hug victims. And not everyone would be so understanding. Last time he'd tried to hold on to the Pokemon Trainer, he'd been battered.

But there was little that would stop Luigi, so when he was on a hugging spree, the Smashers very wisely withdrew into their suite and locked the door. In fact, even the mention of the word 'hug' from his lips would provoke a simillar reaction. But Snake wouldn't do that. Although the mercenary looked like the very last person one would go to look for a hug, Luigi knew him too well. Swallowing his nervousness, he called the soldier again.

"Snake?"

"Hmm?"

"You know when you said that you do homicide?"

"Yeah..."

Luigi flushed lightly. "...Do you do hugs?"

"...That's mushy stuff. Which I don't do."

"Come on. Just once."

Snake considered this for a moment. "Well..." He wasn't the hugging type, nor was he really into physical contact of any kind (except for stroking people's hair and an occasional pat on the back or shoulders). And the exchange that morning still weighed heavily on his mind; should he really be touching or be this close to the younger Mario brother? Wasn't that selfish? But he soon shook away that thought. He would dwell on it later. He was fine with Luigi - the younger Mario brother had done a lot for him, and besides Snake didn't feel uncomfortable with him at all. If it was a hug he wanted, he would give it to Luigi. "...Well... I suppose I can make an exception for you. You're a nice guy."

"Then hug me." Luigi requested.

"Okay." The mercenary replied simply.

And they embraced in a warm, friendly hug.


	15. 15: Visitors' Day, Part One

**Author's Note:** I'm uploading this in two parts. This fic just refuses to stop growing.

So the Smashers can't stay cooped up with just each other for company for months at end. That'll be just too cruel. So Master Hand comes up with an idea to have visitors around from various worlds for a day - and it goes well. It's all right.

It's just that some don't agree.

This is rather a sad chapter. It's quite dark also. I've just twisted around what's meant to be a happy and insane occasion into a highly depressing one. It doesn't show in the first part (this one), but... wait till you get to the second one.

I have issues with chapter lengths at the moment. I seem to be writing too much and thinking too much to get the same effect that I achieved at the beginning. x.x

* * *

"Good morning, Smashers." Master Hand's voice rang out from the loudspeakers in a familiar greeting. Most people in the breakfast bar didn't even bother looking up, and merely went on with their meal. Solid Snake, who had been using the breakfast time to sort out his ammunition, looked mindlessly out of the window as he loaded his guns. "As we are halfway through the Smash Brothers tournament, I respect that outside news and a chance to see other people from your worlds will be needed."

This got their attention. Everyone stopped eating their breakfast and looked up; even Snake glanced up at the speakers, waiting for Master Hand to continue. The whole bar sat there, never speaking, not daring to hope-

"And that's what I've done for the whole day - today will be reserved solely for visitors. There will be a buffet feast in the evening in the Main Hall - feel free to socialize all you want today. That is all. The first visitors will enter the hotel lounge at ten o'clock."

And with that, Master Hand finished and went off air; as soon as his voice ended, the Smashers went half crazy. Link and Zelda, along with Ganondorf, jumped up on their tables and started dancing around in a wild waltz, while the others settled for throwing their cutlery in the air and cheering for Master Hand.

"I'll get to see Tetra and Linebeck again!" Toon Link screamed. "Oh God... this calls for a _party_!" A few voices shouted in agreement.

"I'm going down to Smashville for champagne! Anyone care to join me?" Ike hollered over the noise, waving his sword in the air. More people turned around and screamed their approval; they were half wild, ecstatic at the thought of seeing their friends and loved ones again. "Follow me!"

Snake sighed and shook his head, turning away. The last thing he heard as the Smashers following Ike filed out of the breakfast bar was the whole crowd chanting "_We love you, Master Hand, we do_..." in perfect unison.

And my God, was Captain Falcon turning _somersaults_? At his age?

"The whole place's gone mad." He muttered to himself. "Can't even stay in one place without going crazy... if there was a test for becoming a mercenary, they'd _all _fail..." But then he trailed off, and was forced to rethink his opinion as he glanced around the bar. It was practically deserted now; even the ones who would be having no visitors, like the Ice Climbers, had joined the excited crowd outside for champagne and party snacks. But there were still a few Smashers in the bar - Yoshi and Kirby were calmly slurping soup in a corner, King Dedede was feeding some Waddle Dees, and Jigglypuff and Meta Knight were sitting together and quietly discussing something. Jigglypuff hadn't many pokemon friends, nor an owner/carer like Pikachu had. And Meta Knight seldom received visitors, so Snake could guess that the whole day mattered little to him.

And then there were the Mario brothers.

Mario and Luigi were sitting opposite each other, with the former reading the newspaper and the latter just drinking his milkshake and staring out of the window. This was what the mercenary found decidedly odd. Shouldn't they be joining the others for the celebrations? Mario and Luigi were celebrities back in the Mushroom Kingdom; surely they'd have just as many visitors as the other famous Smashers, if not more. Yet neither of them looked very happy about the whole thing. In fact, Mario looked completely out of it, only looking at the headlines and the articles - but Snake could guess, by his glazed, blank expression, that he was taking none of it in. Luigi wasn't much better. He was sucking on the straw, nibbling at the end of it slightly, but like Mario he was not focusing on what he was actually doing. The milkshake was half empty but he hardly seemed to notice. Seeing this, Snake briefly considered going up to them and just shaking them by their shoulders back into reality, as he was often a very impatient soul indeed. He didn't like seeing people with such a mindless expression on their faces.

However, there was more to this. There was more than just intended ignorance in this matter, and it was plain as anything. But this wasn't the time to investigate; he would have to leave it for now. Snake got up, making a mental note to observe both of them closely for the day, before exiting the bar.

* * *

"No, Otacon. It's too risky." Snake spoke into the codec. "It may only be a tournament... but who'll guard our base if you're away? You lot are doing a better job than I ever did there."

"Still..." Otacon replied from the other end, sounding hesitant. "We haven't seen you in quite a while. Are you sure you'll be all right?"

"Snake is right." The Colonel (sounding perfectly sane) joined in from the other network. "We cannot abandon the base... even just for one day. And I know you'll be fine, Snake. You're the toughest man I've ever seen. You'll survive."

Snake allowed himself a small smile. "Thank you, Colonel. And don't worry too much, Otacon. I only wish that things were different."

"So do I." The scientist replied. "If we weren't so occupied with destroying Metal Gears and saving people..." He sounded disappointed, mildly bitter, and Snake couldn't blame him the slightest. He sighed and nodded to himself, although he knew perfectly well that nobody could see him.

"Send word to Mei Ling - tell her that I'm fine and I'm looking forward to going home. I wish you could be here, Otacon. It's madness in this place."

"I can see that." The scientist laughed. "With all the brawls, I'm not surprised. I miss you too, Snake. And I'll send word to Mei Ling."

The Colonel, who had been silent all this time, cleared his throat. "Your brawl records are excellent, Snake. Just the performance I expect from you. Keep on with the good work."

"Yes, Colonel. Over and out." The mercenary heard the others confirm this, and pressed the 'call' button, ending the communication. Now alone and with no one to talk to, he placed the codec back in his pocket and carefully peeked out of his box. Many people were in the lounge already; it was eleven thirty, and he honestly hadn't expected this many people to come for a visit. There was a red-haired male talking to Marth; a girl wearing clothes simillar to the Pokemon Trainer was pouring herself some water from the refreshments table; and Toon Link was excitedly chatting nineteen to the dozen to a very short-waisted sailor (who wore a expression of half care and adoration, and half annoyance).

Being so close to so many people made him feel... uncomfortable. Out of place. Like he didn't belong.

And why was he in here anyway? He wasn't having visitors. Unless that psycho Ocelot came over to 'suprise' him, Snake wasn't expecting anyone. Besides, he didn't even like being surrounded by people. So why was he here, playing at being a special delivery tucked behind the curtains, when he hadn't any business in the lounge whatsoever?

That was a very good question, he thought to himself. A very good question.

He had chosen his location carefully, so that he could make his exit at his convenience. He looked to see if anyone was watching, then carefully shed his box (which melted into thin air) and hastily made his escape. Nobody had noticed a cardboard box in the corner, and certainly no one had seen him leave; breathing out quietly in relief, Snake tiptoed out of range and to the lobby.

"Can I help you?" A Stafy, wearing a maid's uniform, called to him from the reception desk. Snake shook his head wordlessly, and quickly made his way to the nearest door, trying to get away from her; God, couldn't he have some peace for himself in the damned lobby? He twisted the doorknob naturally, as if he knew what he was doing (as the Stafy kept on watching him), and when the door opened he strode inside.

To come face to face with Crazy Hand.

Who was, incidentally, drinking out of a toilet bowl.

"What the hell?" The mercenary blurted out, a horrified expression on his face, and he subconsciously backed up against the door. "...What... what are you doing? That's-"

"-Delicious!" Crazy Hand screeched happily, turning around and splashing the water around everywhere (fortunately missing Snake). "Much better than tap water. Want to join me? They've got a spare toilet bowl in the next compartment. You can shout to me from there and I'll hear you nice and clear!"

"...No thank you." The mercenary replied, looking faintly sick. "I'll make do with bottled water."

The insane Hand wasn't listening, and edged up very close to Snake - too close for comfort - so that he could whisper in his ear. "They've got things in the tap water." He whispered. "Me bro's put _eeeevil_ stuff in the water, he has, oh yes - he says it's for the best, he can't afford to just dispose-"

"What?" Snake stood straight, his voice suddenly very sharp. "What did you just say? Master Hand's put things in the water?"

"That's what I said."

"What is it?" Snake grabbed hold of a gloved finger and began shaking the Hand fiercely, cursing the latter's lack of a throat to jam his gun in. "Tell me! Has Master Hand tampered with the water supply? What did he put in it?"

"Poison mushrooms!" Crazy Hand cackled, his whole... hand... shaking with mirth. "Poison mushrooms, too old and too feeble to work on the Smashers anymore! Five kilograms of it! That's why I'm doing the Smashers a favour and drinking all the poison out of the water. I eat Poison mushrooms for breakfast!" He began to laugh again, and easily jerked his finger free from Snake's grasp, turning back to the toilet bowl. "Oh, pretty ripples in the water..."

The soldier sighed heavily, rubbing his temples. He wasn't going to get anything out of Crazy Hand alone and he knew it too well. Snake searched quickly in his pockets for an Assist Trophy that would help persuade Crazy Hand, or at least stop him drinking from the toilet bowl; he found one, and without really thinking about what might happen, he raised it above his head, activating it.

It was an action he would regret mere seconds later.

"GRAAAHHH! Listen up! Your attention! I want it!"

"Oh, _shut up_." Snake said crossly, throwing his hands up in defeat. He was in a bad mood, he didn't want trouble, he'd failed in getting the information he wanted - Solid Snake, quite effectively, was fed up. He marched out, slamming the door behind him, locking Crazy Hand and Mr. Resetti in the room. The Stafy from earlier on looked up, vague shock in her face, and stared at him.

"I advise that you keep away for a while." He stated to the surprised and confused Stafy in the lounge, and without waiting for an answer, headed towards the bar, He could use a drink.

As he walked towards the bar, he briefly stopped and leaned against the wall, pressing his forehead onto the cold surface. The mercenary was no stranger to headaches and dealing with impossible people, but right now he couldn't understand why he just wanted to hit something so much; he was unusually stressed out today and he didn't have a clue why.

Maybe it was the visitors. Maybe it was the fact that there were even more people than usual. The hotel had too many Smashers already, in his opinion, and the visitors today weren't exactly helping much. Being close to so many people, squashed together, made him feel very uncomfortable and somewhat nauseous. Perhaps that was why he was feeling so down.

No wonder he hadn't many friends anywhere.

He let a small, ironic smile twist the corner of his lips, and slowly moved on, heading towards the bar. The place was mostly deserted; but the staff were working, and looked up curiously as he approached. Snake looked around, assuring himself that he would be left in peace...

...and stopped.

Luigi was sitting in the bar, sipping a small cup of coffee, staring into thin air. There was something not right about him; why was he even _in_ there? Snake peered in closer, eyes narrowed in suspicion. He and Mario were superstars in the Mushroom Kingdom - surely they would have had many visitors? And where was Mario anyway? Snake didn't recall seeing him in the lounge. Well, he would find out. Clearing his throat and informing Luigi of his presence, he walked into the almost-deserted bar and sat down next to the green-clad plumber.

"Luigi? Are you all right?"

"Oh, I'm fine. Princess Daisy from Sarasaraland and Rosalina from the Comet Observatory came to visit me. Mario received a few visitors too. He's back at the suite." Luigi said, but his voice was odd. Snake did not fail to notice this; he bit his lower lip for second, staring into Luigi's face, thinking. There was something wrong. Luigi sounded somehow... depressed. Subdued. Almost... _lonely_. The mercenary would have to take care of that. He nudged up closer, holding the green-clad plumber by the shoulder and looking into his eyes.

"Tell you what, Luigi. I've been thinking of taking you out to Delfino Plaza for a meal... and talk, of course." Snake changed the whole subject, keeping his voice light and neutral. Luigi looked up, his eyes suddenly bright. Snake smiled and patted him lightly on the head. "If you're not having any more visitors... well... what do you think? Or would you prefer another day?"

"Oh, today, if it's not too much trouble." Luigi replied, smiling as the mercenary's hand patted his hair. He chuckled and then shifted closer to him, looking a lot more cheerful. "...I'd prefer to be out, and... just talk with you... is it just us two, then?"

"Just us two."

"That's perfect." The younger Mario brother grinned. "...Well... what time?"

"How about now?" Snake offered, watching the other carefully for a reaction. Luigi thought about this for a few seconds, expression purely thoughtful and considering, before nodding in approval. "Great. Want to do anything before we depart?"

"I'll quickly tell the others I'm going out for a while."

"That's fine. I'll meet you back here."


	16. 16: Visitors' Day, Part Two

**Author's Note:** Dear God. So unrealistic. The original premise for this was grand. It was fine. But I just kept on writing and writing... I'm so sorry. I really am.

Don't expect humour in this chapter. Like I said in the first part, this is a sad story. It doesn't get much more downhearted and depressing than this. If you're having a good day and don't want anything to ruin your mood - well... maybe this chapter isn't for you. It's depressing simply because of how tl;dr and not good this is. Almost to the end I lost the plot completely. I personally wouldn't be _very_ surprised if I get angry reviews.

Typos are unintentional. Mostly. x.x

I'm going to take a short break for a while. It'll take me a few days to try to find something that connects smoothly onto this.

Please proceed...

* * *

"You eat very lightly." Luigi commented over the meal. After going to Delfino Plaza, they had first gone for a walk for an hour or so before finding a place where they could eat. They were now having late lunch in a small restaurant in Delfino Plaza; it was a very small restaurant indeed, but served excellent food, as Snake and Luigi found out. They were sitting in a half-secluded corner with a frosted-glass partition blocking the view. Snake nodded at the plumber's comment and casually broke a breadstick in half, dipping one end of it into the provided sauce. He had ordered a simple pork-and-gnocchi dish, along with a portion of breadsticks to share.

"I don't like getting stuffed and tired later." He replied. "It gets on my nerves. I always like to be ready for action, should something ever happen. But like I said before, I do like to indulge in the best - in this case, best meals as possible." He grinned and bit off a small piece of the breadstick. "And you? How are you finding the meal so far?"

"Delicious." Luigi smiled; and he meant it. He dipped his fork into the rich tomato sauce and loaded it with some pasta, bringing it up to his mouth. "Haven't had pasta this good since... I think this is the best pasta I've ever had in the last five years."

"Five years, hmm?" Snake looked at him thoughtfully, and held out a breadstick to Luigi. "Back then... you would have been... how old are you now?"

"Twenty-seven." The younger Mario brother replied, accepting the breadstick and mopping up some of the sauce with it. "And Mario's thirty. Five years ago I would have been twenty-two. Time flies by so fast, doesn't it?"

"Fast is right." The mercenary nodded, and leaned back. Luigi followed shortly as he finished his meal, arranging his fork and knife together neatly on the edge of the plate. Snake picked up the wine bottle, checked the contents and the date and looked at Luigi again. "More wine?"

The younger Mario brother nodded and held out his glass. "Yes, please..." The mercenary complied and poured the dark red wine into the glass. Luigi pulled the glass towards himself slightly when he felt that there was enough wine in there - Snake took the hint and withdrew the bottle. "_Molte grazie_."

Snake blinked, but quickly caught on. "_Prego_." He replied in somewhat stuttering, clumsy Italian, making Luigi laugh. "Is... is that right?"

"_Si, si_." Luigi replied between bouts of laughter. "That's right. But you've got a lot to learn."

The mercenary pouted and poured himself some wine, setting the bottle down. "It's not my fault. The places I go to... and the people I meet... they taught me many things and that was something I picked up. But I can't make general conversation. Just a few phrases here and there."

Luigi sipped delicately at the wine, looking at Snake over the rim of the glass. "Do you plan to continue learning?"

"Sometime." The soldier smiled, and then they both laughed. Luigi hardly knew when he had become so comfortable with Snake; the man wasn't easy to get to, but once they'd made friends, things ran smoothly. And here they were, sipping wine and talking about the most random things like they'd known each other for years. "You've got sauce on your cheek, Luigi."

"What? Huh-" The younger Mario brother fumbled for a tissue, slightly embarrassed, but Snake reached over the table with his napkin. Luigi squirmed lightly, throwing a glance around them to see if anyone was watching. "Snake- I'll do it myself-"

"Anything you get on your face with me present will be wiped off by me." Snake said, deadpan and calm, and he dabbed at Luigi's cheek with the napkin. "And that's just because I enjoy seeing you embarrassed as hell."

"That's nasty."

"Tough." The mercenary said blandly, and then pulled away. "There. All clean." Luigi shook his head briefly, running his hands through his light brown hair and trying to regain at least a little of his dignity. Snake watched him, amused.

"That was uncalled for, Snake."

"At least you're clean."

"Mmm. Can't argue with that." Luigi settled back down, and sipped his wine, smiling gently. "Thanks. After we're done with the wine, can we go to the fountain area?"

"Absolutely." The mercenary nodded, and called for the waitress. "The bill, please... thank you..."

* * *

Half an hour later, the two were walking through the mostly-deserted streets of Delfino Plaza. As nobody was brawling, every arena was deserted and only the occasional people pushed past them. They could see no other Smasher in sight.

"Where are they?" Snake murmured. "I'm pretty sure the Smashers went off with their friends to show them the arenas and such..."

"They're probably in Smashville." Luigi answered, spotting the main square and picking up his pace a little. "Delfino Plaza's a costly place to get through. Smashville isn't. And besides it's Saturday... so they _might_ to go to K. K. Slider's concert later."

Snake nodded, agreeing with this theory. "Fair point. Didn't think of that." They were both in the main square now, and sat down by a large marble fountain. It was still light - but the sky was mottled with thick clouds that darkened the overall atmosphere of Delfino Plaza. Luigi looked up uneasily, and Snake followed suit, staring hard at the clouds. "Looks like it's going to chuck it down. It'll rain quite a lot."

"Great one." Luigi sighed, and looked at the fountain, dipping a hand into it and feeling the icy chill travel up his arm. He withdrew his hand and shivered lightly. "And the fountain's all cold too. Didn't the forecaster yesterday say that it was going to be sunny?"

"Since when has _he_ been right?" Snake replied, still looking up above. "For the last two weeks or so he predicted rain and we got sunny weather. So when he predicts sunny weather, it'll rain. Terrible luck, I should say. And if it rains, I'll do my best to shelter you."

"That's very kind of you, Snake." Luigi smiled, and nudged up close to the soldier. "You're a good friend. Thank you for the meal, by the way. It was lovely." Snake smiled gently and patted the other's head, but he felt quite confused inside; Luigi was so happy now. So what for his question about the plumber's behaviour that morning? He would never want to upset Luigi... "It made a nice change, being away from the hotel and going out to eat..."

"Why did you want to escape from the hotel?" Snake seized his chance at this enigmatic statement and asked, his tone perhaps a bit more blunt than intended. Luigi blinked, and looked at his face.

"Huh?"

"This morning. You looked... upset." Snake stated, looking closely into Luigi's face. The latter had suddenly lost his smile; he stared at the fountain water, his gaze unblinking. "And you seemed to have sent your visitors away early. What's going on?"

Luigi didn't reply for a long while; Snake fell silent and waited, knowing that the younger Mario brother would answer him, no matter whether it took half an hour or a whole day. The church bells rung behind them, signalling two o'clock.

"Was it that obvious?" He finally asked, his voice tinged with sorrow and ironic amusement. The mercenary shook his head.

"It wasn't blatantly obvious. It's only because of who I am that I noticed, I suppose." Snake said quietly. "I'm trained to notice small changes like that in people. I see things that normal people usually don't think about."

"True." Luigi said softly. "You were bound to ask in the end. I'll tell you, Snake... Why it wasn't good for me today." He took a breath, and exhaled again, gathering his thoughts. Snake said nothing in reply, but watched silently.

"We weren't always from the Mushroom Kingdom." Luigi explained, his voice soft and quiet. "We originally came from Brooklyn. Mario and I, we're Italian - I know - " He held up a hand to silence Snake, who had opened his mouth to raise this point. "- but we moved to Brooklyn when Mario was no more than three. I wasn't even born then."

He paused for a second, sighing. Snake waited, eyes fixed on the green-clad plumber. He didn't have much idea where this was leading to, but he kept quiet and listened.

"When I was born... my family... we had it hard. We were immigrants in a distant land... and it wasn't good for a while. But we got accepted. We fit in. Momma taught us to be proud of who we were... she taught us both Italian as a first language. When Mario and I went to school we'd share secrets by simply talking in Italian." Luigi smiled softly. "Those were the days."

"And... your father, Luigi?" Snake asked delicately, but then instantly regretted asking. "Forgive me, I didn't mean-"

"It's all right." The plumber replied in a quiet voice. "Poppa... he died in an accident when Mario was seven. I was four then. I never really knew him. I can't even recall his face." His gaze turned distant, a sad little smile playing over his lips. "One thing I do remember... well... he held me tight every night when I was little. He smiled and kissed me on the forehead... and he told me he loved me more than anything." Luigi let out a choked laugh, his eyes bright from either tears or fond memories. "He used to say to me... _'Luigi, my precious Luigi' _every night."

"Oh..." The mercenary exclaimed, moving closer to the plumber and putting a reassuring arm around his shoulders. Snake felt unbearably guilty; what had he done? He'd felt as if he'd committed some great sin, making Luigi confess to things that were private and frankly none of his business. "Listen... if I've made you feel uncomfortable, feel free to stop. I can't bear to see you unhappy."

"No," The plumber murmured. "No. I need someone to tell this to. I've kept it all inside for years. It's just not the same telling all of this to Mario."

Snake said nothing, but looked at him with sympathy in his eyes. Luigi swallowed, and then began again.

"So we grew up together, both of us, and we both became plumbers. Good ones too. We earned a fair share of money, and thought about moving to a place of our own - I was only twenty, and we were both quite young... so it was an excitement for both of us. Goodness knows you can't get a place of your own at that age in the place we lived, because you normally won't be earning at all. And we'd made plans... and we were just going back to tell Momma that we were moving out and we'd visit her every week as we weren't moving far away - when that happened."

"What happened?"

"We stopped in our workshop to look for some spare wrenches and such. But there was something we hadn't seen before in the back room. It was a large green pipe, large enough to fit us in. Mario was just looking down to see where it had come from when suddenly he slipped - and went hurtling down." Luigi paused, letting his words sink in. Snake was staring at him, bewildered. "I know it sounds mad... but that was just what happened. I tried to look for him, but when I looked into the pipe I fell in too. We both fell for what seemed like hours... maybe days... before we fell out and ended up in the Mushroom Kingdom. And when we were both out, the pipe... it disappeared. Into thin air. And left us stranded."

Silence followed.

"Oh, God..." Snake whispered, sounding both awed and vaguely disturbed. "...so... you've never been able to get back?" Luigi lowered his head and turned his face away, but shook his head to indicate the answer. His eyes were closed, expression sorrowful and somewhat anguished. Snake waited for Luigi to get back to reality and continue, and would have waited for hours if he hadn't seen what happened next.

The younger Mario brother's eyes were still closed, but Snake nevertheless saw, with perfect clarity, a single tear making its way down his cheek.

"Luigi?" Startled, the mercenary leaned forward, wiping his tears off with a thumb. "Luigi! What's wrong? Is it... is it because of what you've just told me?"

"I - I tried so hard," Luigi blurted out, eyes shut tight to hold back the tears. "I tried so hard to accept that I couldn't ever... _ever_ return home... every year on Momma's birthday... I kept on thinking that we could return home and she'd be there, smiling and holding her arms out to both of us." A shaky, humourless laugh escaped him. "But... it was just silly, right? I could look a thousand times and there would still be no one apart from us two. The whole business today with the visitors - we've both met our friends and talked to them. But the one visitor I want wasn't there. I have my friends and I knew they're alright. I just wanted our mother to be there!"

Snake was quite speechless by this stage, and merely looked at Luigi.

Luigi paused to wipe his eyes, took a deep shuddering breath and then continued. "That's why I avoid visiting day and such. Because Momma isn't there no matter how much I wish for her. I know that she couldn't come to the Mushroom Kingdom - but it was just even more terrible today. Because this tournament links various worlds together... I thought that maybe... Momma would come at last from Brooklyn... only to have that hope crushed again..." He let out another soft, sad chuckle. "Mario feels the same about all of this. He just doesn't show it. He's already got far too much responsibilities to show weaknesses. And he's my brother, Snake." He turned to the mercenary, tears glistening in his blue eyes. "He's the only family I've got left. If something... something terrible happened... and he never came home..."

"I-" Snake begun, but the green-clad plumber was too far away in his own memories to listen.

"It's been seven years since we saw Momma last." Luigi whispered, wrapping his arms around himself. "We wanted to do so much for her... we both loved her so much...!" And then his emotions seemed to take over, and he began to sob as tears began falling again. "And... and I'll... _never_... see her again..."

"Luigi, _stop_!" The mercenary commanded in a loud voice; without thinking, and without really aware of the consequences, he followed what his instincts told him to do. He pulled the green-clad plumber close, almost violently, in an effort to calm him down - Luigi gasped as he fell against Snake's chest, startled by the sudden act. But he obeyed and fell silent, only sniffling every couple of seconds or so.

"I'm sorry." Snake whispered, letting Luigi's head rest against his shoulder. "I'm so, so sorry. It was insensitive of me." He held Luigi tighter, lightly patting his back in an attempt to reassure him. "Had I known... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you all those things."

"It's... it's all right..." The green-clad plumber replied, nuzzling into the warmth gratefully. "I trust you... and like I said, I needed someone to talk to. It's not the same telling this to the Princess or anyone I'm familiar with in the Mushroom Kingdom because they don't think we can possibly have such weaknesses..." He paused to wipe his eyes with the back of his hand, and then let out a shuddering breath. "I'm sorry that I got so carried away. And... thanks. Thanks for hearing me out."

"No problem. And there's no need to apologize." Snake answered, reaching up to take the other's hat off; he then lightly stroked his hair, soothing the younger Mario brother gently as he sobbed again. "Shh. It's all right. It's going to hurt like hell for a long time, I know. You can't just forget about those things. But you've got to get on with your life no matter what. I'm not saying I'll pretend to understand the entirety of your sorrow..." He sighed heavily and closed his eyes. "...But I understand what you've told me. And I know now why you were so depressed. I appreciate you for telling me all of this."

"...Thank you..." Luigi whispered. And he meant it. He exhaled again and settled down in Snake's arms, now comforted and feeling considerably lighter; the mercenary, however, felt no more closer to comfort than he had been half an hour ago. Luigi trusted him so much, he was keeping nothing secret with the soldier - and Snake still had something he was keeping from him. Didn't Luigi deserve to at least know about that argument? If Mario hadn't said anything, he would have to give Luigi a small push in the right direction.

But how? And was this the right time?

One part of his mind told him to leave it; Luigi had been worked up and upset, and it was too soon to upset him again. But most of his heart and his head told him that if he didn't tell Luigi now, he wouldn't ever be able to get another chance. The mercenary had been feeling unbearably guilty over this for quite a time, and it was time to let it go.

"Luigi." Snake said softly. "There's something I need to tell you. It's about Mario... and me too."

"What is it?"

"Me and Mario," Snake paused delicately, unsure how to begin. "We... we argued a while ago. And it was bad. Really bad."

"What?" Luigi looked up sharply, tears gone, now suddenly tense and alert. "You and Mario... argued? Again?" Snake nodded, somewhat guiltily. "But... but Mario didn't tell me anything! When was this?"

"You know when you were injured weeks ago? In the middle of the Shadow Moses brawl?" Luigi nodded. "When you were knocked out... I was the first one to notice. You weren't responding, and I thought that you..." He trailed off for a second, and then resumed. "...I tried to carry you back. And I did manage to lay you down on the sidelines."

"Mario told me that much," The green-clad plumber interrupted, still looking confused. "And did you two argue right after that?"

"Yes." Snake said in a monotone, although his face betrayed his emotions; he looked completely ashamed of himself. "Worse, we argued the whole way throughout that match. Mario won through a time-out in the end."

"What... did you argue about? What did you say?" Luigi clutched at the mercenary's shoulder. This wasn't something he'd expected to hear, and seeing Snake admit to this - weeks after it happened - was a shock. "Tell me, Snake-"

"It's not my place to tell you those things." The mercenary replied softly, resting his hand on the other's back. His grey eyes fixed their gaze on Luigi, and the latter fell silent, overcome by the emotion and power those eyes held. He had forgotten that Snake was a soldier, capable of quietening people easily as anything. "I don't deserve to tell you what we both said. Me and Mario argued, yes... and what we said... it wasn't nice. It was horrible. I think we both caused more damage than we thought initially. And ever since then, I noticed that Mario became depressed and subdued."

Luigi gasped softly, looking away and then at the fountain with a distraught expression. "God! I'd noticed that too... I knew he was being more pessimistic and quiet recently... but I didn't think-"

"Go and talk to Mario, Luigi." Snake told him, his voice quiet yet firm. "Go and talk to him. I daresay he'll have wanted to tell you about this for quite a time."

* * *

Five o'clock.

After the conversation, the two hadn't talked about anything else. In fact they hadn't talked much at all; Luigi had stopped crying, but he'd stayed where he was, leaning against Snake with his eyes tightly closed. Snake himself didn't attempt to make conversation, and just sat with the younger Mario brother, his arm around his shoulders. The duo had withstood this uncomfortable silence for two hours before eventually getting up and walking back in the direction of the hotel, as it had begun to rain. However, they were still silent as they both contemplated various things in their mind; they had left Delfino Plaza behind them a while ago, and were approaching Shadow Moses Island where their main hideaway was located. Luigi could see the hotel in the distance, and when the mercenary stopped walking, looked curiously at him.

"Aren't you coming back to the hotel?" Luigi broke the silence and asked. Snake shook his head, water droplets shaken off from his hair in the process.

"It's my day for some check-ups in Shadow Moses." He said, producing a pen and checklist. "Not a good job... but I have to do it. Want to come in with me?"

"Well..." Luigi thought over this for a while. "...I don't think I can. I've still got so much to ask my brother..." He trailed off, recalling the conversation again. Snake noticed, and went up to the green-clad plumber, embracing him in a gentle hug (which Luigi accepted gratefully).

"Mario's your priority now." He whispered. "Don't worry about me. I won't tell a soul. Go now. Talk to him." And before Luigi could say anything, he pulled away firmly and walked off into the arena. He only looked back once to give the other a nod - and then shut the door, leaving the younger Mario brother alone.

Luigi stood still for a few minutes, his head whirling, before turning around decisively and leaving the area. He started with a brisk walk towards the hotel; but then he began picking up speed, and without quite knowing why, he suddenly found himself running at full speed through the endless rain. There were simply too many thoughts running though his mind at this very moment, but one thing stood out more than the others - 'why?'.

Why had Mario kept this from him?

He could guess, faintly, what Snake and Mario had argued about. He would have to confirm his guesses later - but first he had to find out why. It wasn't as if they'd ended up severely injuring or killing anyone, was it? Why would Mario keep quiet? To the point where it made him miserable?

He'd find out soon enough.

He burst into the hotel, dripping wet from head to toe. But he couldn't care less - he shoved past the Smashers and the visitors in the lounge (provoking a few screams and loud yells) and headed straight for the elevator. Once inside, he pressed the button marked '5' and stood anxiously as the doors closed and the elevator hurtled upwards. Once at his destination, he leapt out and made a beeline for their suite, turning the doorknob and bursting inside. "Mario!"

At first there was no reply; but then a figure looked out, somewhat startled, from the main living area, holding the FLUDD in his hands. His overalls and hands were very wet, and so was the FLUDD - he must have been washing it. Luigi noted that Mario seldom washed the water jet pack himself; it had always been Luigi's duty to do that. He just stood there, suddenly feeling deflated, staring at the man who was his brother.

This was Mario, the brother he'd hardly talked to over the last few weeks and held so much secrets from him. Why hadn't Luigi noticed the change in him? Why hadn't he noticed the depressed, tired expression before? Mario was slowly setting down his FLUDD on the counter and wiping his hands, still looking at Luigi.

"Mario." The younger Mario brother said again, calmer this time.

"Where have you been?" Mario asked, but his voice held no resentment nor scorn; he merely sounded glad to see Luigi back, and he had a soft, sad smile on his face as he held his arms out to his younger brother. "You're soaking, Luigi... here, let me get a blanket..."

"Idiot!" Luigi blurted out, throwing himself into his startled brother's arms. "You should have told me, Mario, you should have told me!"

"W-what?" Mario blinked, missing a beat. "What are you talking about?"

"The - the argument," Luigi gasped; he'd rushed at his brother so suddenly that he was quite out of breath. "The argument you had with Snake. Why didn't you tell me?"

The red-clad plumber hardly knew what his younger brother was talking about for a moment. But then it hit him, and he actually backed away slightly, suddenly wary and almost frightened of what Luigi would say. "...Who told you about that?"

"Snake did."

Of course. He should have known that. Feeling light-headed, Mario turned away without a word and sank down onto the sofa in the main living area. Luigi followed suit and plopped down next to his brother, still staring at him.

"What did he tell you?" The older Mario brother finally spoke, his voice eerily calm.

"Nothing." Mario looked up sharply at this, but Luigi hardly noticed. "All he told me was the fact that you two argued. Nothing more. He said that it wasn't his place to tell me the details... he looked really downhearted. What's going on? What have you been hiding from me?"

Mario said nothing, although his expression had softened just slightly. Wordlessly, he reached out a hand and patted Luigi's hair, just the way he'd done years before when the green-clad plumber had been nothing more than a child. Luigi wriggled free, suddenly embarrassed and guilty.

"Mario! Look... I'm not a kid."

"You are." Mario replied, a strangled sound in his tone. "You're the littlest kid ever. My younger brother. And the only family I've got left..." He broke off, a choked sob escaping him; he turned away, unwilling to show weakness in front of Luigi. But Luigi had seen his tears already. Distraught at this, he reached over and grasped the other man in a hug, leaning on his shoulder.

"Mario, I'm sorry... don't cry..."

"No, I'm the one who's sorry. Oh, Luigi, I just didn't know what to _do_!" The red-clad plumber cried, unable to hide his tears. "If you'd heard that Snake and I argued when more could have been done for your good... I... I thought you'd end up hating both of us. Especially seeing as I started that argument. And you were so happy when you were around Snake, happier than I could ever make you, and I didn't want to take that away-"

"What did you say, Mario? When you were arguing?" Luigi persisted, although he too looked as if he were to burst into tears at any moment. Mario paused to wipe his tears away and then turned to his brother.

"Do you really want to know?" Luigi nodded. "I saw Snake lay you down on the sidelines... and I was... I was just so angry. I didn't want him meddling with either of us. I shouted at him to get his hands off you and that was the start of it all." He took a deep breath, and then continued. "When I got down there, Luigi... he was angry. Really angry. He said that I ought to have noticed you quicker - and he was _right_. I hated him so much at that moment." He paused again. "Damn it. Why did he _have_ to be right? And that was when I lost control... and started accusing him..."

"Of what?"

Mario shut his eyes and grasped his head. This was much, much harder than he'd thought. It wasn't just a simple matter of retelling what had went on anymore; Luigi, by asking him all this, was making him question his actions that very day all over again. And it wasn't pleasant at all. "At the time I had thought that Snake... that he thought of me as someone who didn't care about others. Especially about you. And it wasn't nice. I accused him of trying to take you away from me - and then I got carried away and tried to-" His voice faltered, and he quickly glanced at Luigi. "Look, Luigi... those things aren't nice. Maybe we'll call it a day and-"

"Tried to do what?" Luigi asked quietly, no anger nor sadness in his voice. In fact, he sounded monotonous and almost emotionless. Mario sighed.

"...I tried to attack him."

Silence.

"And the thing was... if the bell hadn't gone for the end of brawl... I probably would have attacked Snake. And I probably wouldn't have stopped." The red-clad plumber whispered. "All because I was just so angry at him. He'd appeared out of nowhere in this tournament and he just took you away. That's the way I saw it. And I... I _hated_ him."

"...I knew all that."

Mario looked up. "What? But how?"

"It was obvious in the way you acted." Luigi glanced at him with a sad smile; perhaps he'd intended to sound as if he were condemning Mario. But it came out different, and he merely sounded lost and almost cheated. "The very first time you argued with Snake. I... was there. You didn't notice me, but I was there, hidden beneath a cardboard box. It was plain what you felt for him once I'd listened to that."

Mario froze. Luigi had known about his feelings towards Snake already. That made it so much worse; Luigi was aware that the second fight hadn't been petty rivalry once he'd heard Mario out. He'd known that there was something else, more bitter, more deep involved. He hung his head, ashamed. "I suppose you'll hate me for that."

"I don't." The younger Mario brother murmured, nudging up to his brother. "I don't. Because you told me the truth. And I think I understand why... you acted the way you did."

"How could you understand?" Mario cried, suddenly emotional, pulling away from his brother. "How could you _ever_ understand?"

"Yes." Luigi replied, still quieter. "How could I?"

This silenced Mario. He simply stayed quiet and closed his eyes, feeling oddly free yet his heart was unbearably heavy. He could feel his brother leaning against his back, breathing softly and holding him gently.

"I wish I could take it all back." The red-clad plumber murmured. "That I'd never started all that with Snake. I didn't want to hurt anyone - especially you." He heaved a sigh. "But I did... and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it."

Luigi replied with a strange sound, almost like a sob mixed with a laugh. "You're not the only one who's regretting things. I should have talked to you more often." He half-laughed again, aware that he was almost ready to cry his eyes out. "If only... we were kids again... that we were oblivious and childish again... then our parents would have been there and things wouldn't have become so complicated!"

His younger brother was getting worked up now, and Mario sensed that he was near breakdown. His instincts kicking into place, he quickly turned around and held Luigi tight, letting him rest in arms. "You're not the only one."

"Huh?"

"I really missed our parents today." Mario whispered quietly. "I know you don't remember much of Poppa... I don't blame you for that. You really were just a kid. But he was the best father anyone could have. When you were a baby he'd take you everywhere and let me come along."

"I know." Luigi replied. "And... Momma?"

At this, Mario seemed to lose the last of his self-control and broke down, turning away and beginning to sob.

"I - hoped - that she would come." He said in a thick voice. "No matter how silly it sounds, I just hoped that she would find a way to meet us somehow. And it was worse today because Master Hand obviously stated that various worlds were linked together to the hotel for this one day. And... and Brooklyn obviously wasn't part of that." He swallowed and wiped his tears away; but they kept on coming and he couldn't stop them. Luigi looked on, biting his lip in an effort to keep calm.

"I wish Momma was here." Mario cried softly, burying his head into his arms. "She'd... she'd tell me what to do. She'd help us out and hug us every day... I've tried so hard to be a good brother to you, Luigi... but I've done nothing but get jealous of others and act all spiteful... It's... it's just too _hard_!"

"Momma..." At this outburst, Luigi couldn't hold on anymore and began to weep also, tears falling down his cheeks once more. "Oh... oh... _Momma_...!"

The brothers had never cried together for such a long time before.

* * *

Meanwhile, Snake was resting in his comfort zone in Shadow Moses Island. The pen and report form was lying on the ground, abandoned - it was indeed true that he had the report to fill out, but he couldn't do it with all those thoughts cluttering up his mind. He could have pulled a box over his head like he usually did, but he hadn't bothered; he kept on staring out of the window, at the dark skies outside. His prediction had come true - it was raining quite heavily. The mercenary vaguely heard some of the Smashers wandering around outside hurrying into the hotel with their friends and companions, ready to dry off and head off to the buffet.

Mario and Luigi wouldn't be there, he thought dryly. If Luigi was doing what Snake had advised that he do, then both of them wouldn't be going anywhere for quite a while.

Snake closed his eyes and pressed his head to the cold steel wall, Luigi's voice replaying over and over in his head, telling him his sad story. That wasn't something he was likely to forget. He had seen murders before, cold-hearted killers snuffing a life out like it meant nothing. He himself had engaged in such acts before, because he had to. But this story disturbed him in a different way, a way that he couldn't describe. Being so cruelly taken away by fate, away from one's friends and family - it wasn't something that he'd heard on a first-person account.

Sympathy and pity was all Snake could feel for Mario and Luigi at this moment. He couldn't even hate Mario anymore, not after knowing what the older Mario brother was hiding from Luigi. Snake raised his head, opening his eyes to gaze upon the deserted view outside. He was alone, so utterly alone and it was almost unbearable.

Since when did he start caring?

He reached out and pressed a hand to the cold glass. The rain was steadily drumming on the windows and the roof now, filling the whole arena with its ominous echo and distracting the mercenary from his thoughts until he couldn't think properly anymore.

"Damn it..." He murmured. "How long is it going to rain like this? God-_damn_ it all..."

But the rain took no notice, and only carried on falling, even drowning out the soldier's words until they were lost in the endless rainy parade.


	17. 17: Promises

**Author's Note:** Me back after long break. This is a chapter that vaguely resembles 'Little Gifts' but without the gifts themselves. Luigi and Snake share gossip and pinky-swear. Just go to show how deep their friendship is, after sixteeen chapters. Fun times. I really must stop two-part stuff. It's meant to be a oneshot collection for God's sake.

And by the way, the 'metal band' incident actually happened to my close friend when she was taking her Spanish exam. Now I don't speak Spanish, but I have a feeling I may have done something similar... in my French mock exams... O.o

Nothing is safe from my writing. Not even friend incidents. I'm such an awful person x.x

* * *

"Game... set!"

Link stepped back lightly to the ground and looked up at the screen above Shadow Moses Island; out of the four Smashers that had been brawling that afternoon, Ganondorf and Ike had been eliminated earlier. Only two Smashers remained at the end - himself, and Solid Snake. "The winner is... Link!"

But the Hylian wasn't listening to this. He looked worriedly at the mercenary, who was at present lying on the ground and breathing heavily with his eyes shut tight. He didn't seem to be responding to anything that had been said, and neither did he look as if he really cared about anything. There was nothing visible on his face, no feelings at all, and this was especially disturbing for Link as he was used to seeing the mercenary's face full of emotion. This look... it had been there when Snake had first entered the tournament. That had been months ago, when he was still being feared and treated as a little more than a newcomer. Since then he had mellowed a little, had opened up... but now...

That look was back and he _didn't_ like it.

"Snake." Link called uneasily, shuffling on his feet. "Snake... are you all right?"

"I'm fine." Snake replied, although he sounded halfhearted and uncaring. "I'm fine, Link. Just go. This arena's going to be shut soon. You'll be locked inside if you don't hurry."

The Hylian dithered helplessly, glancing as the Shadow Moses Island R.O.B. entered with the Island log and a pen. "Well... are you sure you'll be fine?"

"It's not like I'll _die_." Snake said flatly. Link looked at him again, apprehensive, as he absent-mindedly took the pen from the robot and signed the log. He paused in the middle of writing his initials, looking up the list of names; Ness had won the last brawl in this place, then Lucas, then Ganondorf, Luigi, Captain Falcon, Luigi, Jigglypuff, Meta Knight, Samus, Luigi again... right up to the top of the page. Mario's name was the first to be written on those two previously-blank pages, him being the winner of the eighty-fourth brawl here. But there was something rather odd about the handwriting; the marks resembled nothing like the usual long, confident swirls that Mario endorsed his signature with. On the contrary, the signature looked more like it had been scribbled in a rush, and was tiny and basic. Certainly odd, but Link shook off the feeling and handed the log back to the R.O.B. (who bowed and slid out of the metal doors), looking down at Snake.

"You'll catch a chill down there."

"Just go, alright?" The mercenary answered, sounding irritated. Link knew that he had to back off then; it wasn't good angering Snake in any way. The latter had proved that enough times. Nodding silently, and with one last troubled glance, Link left the arena.

The doors shut with a bang behind him, and then Snake was left lying on the ground.

He sighed heavily, drawing a hand over his eyes and wincing as a pale spotlight swept over him with a warning siren. The lights were kept dim, even for Shadow Moses standards; but now it felt bright, too bright to withstand. He had never been like this before; he hadn't done well in brawls for three consecutive days and this was very worrying.

But not as worrying as the fact that he really couldn't get his heart into it.

Snake hadn't seen Luigi for four days or so, and had assumed that the latter was still recovering from that day - and he couldn't blame the green-clad plumber in the slightest. But even so, he found himself really missing Luigi's company; he had become almost dependent on the other during the months that he'd been in the hotel, and although he hated the feeling of constantly relying on someone else for support, he couldn't deny that he needed Luigi close by.

_Well, why don't you go see him, then?_ His mind asked. _Why don't you go and see him, even just for ten minutes? Or five? Or even just a second?_

Snake frowned and turned over as the spotlight drew away from him. Why not, indeed? He could just go over to Luigi's Mansion and wait for him to come for his check-up of the stage. He could try to meet him in the bar. Or, he could even go to Mario and Luigi's suite, knock and ask to see the younger Mario brother. Nothing was impossible.

However, he hadn't done any of those things.

First, he didn't know exactly when Luigi would come to check his mansion for faults. And even if the plumber was there, how could the mercenary find him in that large, wide mansion in time? The last time he'd found Luigi in that place, he had only managed to do so because Yoshi had given away the location. He highly doubted that the same would happen again. And the bar idea wasn't too practical either. The younger Mario brother had a habit of going to the bar at unusual times, so this wasn't ideal at all; he would have to be at the bar 24/7 to get a glimpse of Luigi.

And as for the suite plan, that was the last thing that the mercenary could think of doing.

Snake didn't know what Mario felt for him at this present moment, and wasn't about to take a gamble. It was definitely more likely that the older Mario brother still detested him, and as he'd been the one who informed Luigi of that argument, he felt even more wary of what Mario would think of him. And what if Luigi didn't even want to see him, anyway? Snake felt only sympathy for both of the brothers, but it wasn't guaranteed that either would feel positive about him. In short, he didn't want to be seen as insensitive. He had to wait, bide his time.

Snake sighed again. Things were so complicated and he didn't like it. This was something beyond Metal Gears and uncrackable computer codes - the mercenary was still rather an amateur when it came to dealing with human emotions, and the Smash Brothers tournament was hardly the place to learn. If only he'd chosen a different path in life...

...But then, he wouldn't have met Otacon, Mei Ling, all his companions and allies...

...and he wouldn't have met Luigi either.

"...Snake?" A soft familiar voice called him. Snake opened his eyes a crack and glanced up, only to look directly into the face of Luigi, who was hovering over him. He looked worried. The mercenary's eyes opened wide, and he stared at the green-clad plumber, hardly able to believe that he was here. "Snake? What are you doing here?"

Snake didn't say anything for a while, struggling with the sudden mixed feelings of elation and confusion within him. "It's a free country." The soldier finally mumbled, inwardly kicking himself for his lack of the ability to greet someone. What was he _doing_? Here was Luigi, the person he'd wanted to see, but the mercenary couldn't even talk to him properly. Luigi bit his lip, and sat down next to him.

"That's not what I meant and you know it." He stated. "Your brawl ended ages ago. And you haven't moved from the floor since time-out. I was watching, you know." Luigi pointed up in the direction of their favourite hideaway, at the top floor. Snake merely stayed quiet and glanced up only briefly, his eyes drifting lazily back to Luigi.

"...I'm tired." The mercenary said, looking at Luigi with half-closed eyes. "But never mind about me. What about you?"

"Hmm?"

"Visitors' Day." Snake said simply, now turning his head and fixing his gaze on the plumber. Luigi attempted to stare back, but then bit his lip and looked away delicately, seemingly troubled. Snake's eyes narrowed at this observation. What was going on? "Well? What about it?"

It was a full minute before Luigi answered.

"Mario... and I... cried for hours." The younger Mario said, drawing the words out with some difficulty. "We had a talk... and then it turned out that Mario was under a lot of pressure too. There was a reason why he was so protective. We've stayed together for the last few days, just talking and sharing our feelings..."

"I see." Snake replied quietly, calm and collected, not willing to upset or otherwise hurt the other's feelings. "And did it help?" Luigi nodded.

"It's been years since we'd had a real heart-to-heart. It was a relief for both of us."

The mercenary reached up, patting the other's head gently. "Glad to hear that. I was so worried about you. I thought that maybe... you wouldn't want to see me, seeing as I spilled the beans about that-" He stopped, knowing that Luigi understood what he meant. The younger Mario brother nodded, although his nod was a bit sorrowful; his eyes softened somewhat and then he smiled sadly, his gaze far away and unfocused.

"Mario was fine with it." Was all he said before he lapsed into silence. Snake's expression turned into one of concern, and he heaved himself up on his elbows to look at Luigi eye to eye. The green-clad plumber seemed uncomfortable with the searching gaze; Snake did what he had done so many weeks ago, when he'd first encountered Luigi in Shadow Moses, and placed his fingers underneath Luigi's chin, gently lifting his head up.

"I want you to promise me something." He said quietly. Luigi said nothing in response, but looked at him properly in the eyes this time, deep blue eyes meeting grey ones.

"Luigi." Snake whispered. "Promise me that you'll be happy no matter what. But also that you'll cry when you're feeling down and sad instead of bottling it all up inside. Tears heal."

"I promise." Luigi replied softly, and held out the little finger of his right hand towards Snake. The mercenary hesitated; this was such an innocent, childlike gesture that he didn't quite know what to make of it. But he held out his own little finger, entwining it around Luigi's. They stayed like that for a few seconds - Snake felt rather uncomfortable and awkward doing this, as his version of the word 'promise' did not involve two intertwined little fingers. But then Luigi smiled at him, complete trust in his eyes, and he couldn't help smiling back; he tightened his finger around Luigi's briefly before pulling away, the promise sealed.

There was silence for a while.

"That was..." The green-clad plumber spoke up softly, breaking the silence. "...uh..."

"Unusual?" The mercenary offered, sensing the other's lack of a suitable word. Luigi thought over this for a while, 'hmm'ing to himself, before nodding.

"I'll go with that."

"Heh." Snake laughed weakly; he coughed and sat up in a somewhat unsteady manner. Luigi, always ready to give a hand, quickly supported the other's shoulders with an arm and fished around in his pockets for something.

"Here. Take it. It'll help." He plucked out an object, small and somehow familiar, and held it out to Snake, who looked at it with faint interest. Slowly, the mercenary raised his hand to receive the object, and studied it with a vague emotionlessness.

"A 1-UP?"

"I always carry around a few." Luigi nodded. "Go on. Take it."

Snake nodded in return, still carefully surveying the little green mushroom. He looked hard into the blank, dark beady eyes of the mushroom, shuddered, and delicately turned it around so that the 1-UP was no longer facing him; Luigi watched this, very much amused.

"It's not going to bite you, Snake."

"I can't stand the way it just _looks_ at me." The soldier said, taking a bite out of the green mushroom. He looked at it nervously as he chewed, keeping the 'eyes' turned away from him. "I like food. But only when it isn't staring back at me."

"Those aren't _real_ eyes, you know. It really isn't like they can see you in the last moments of their short lives while you heartlessly tear pieces off them. Do you leave out the 'eye' part until last?"

Snake grimaced, looking almost as if he were to throw up. "_Ugh_! Did you have to go into details? And it doesn't matter if they're fake. I still don't like the way they gaze towards my general direction." He took another bite. "And yes. I leave the eye part until last. If there aren't any other parts left, it feels less like biting off its face, you know."

Luigi sighed, rolling his eyes. "And here I thought you were the ultimate mercenary who isn't afraid of anything."

"Hey, I'm only human." The soldier protested, finishing off the 1-UP and leaning back on the wall. Already he felt his strength return; his injuries and bruises wouldn't heal until he took another 1-UP, or waited for a few days, but at least he didn't feel tired any more. "I'm a lot more fearless and mature than some people."

"Like...?"

"Ganondorf. Wolf. Captain Falcon." Snake counted off with his fingers. "All of them are somewhat older than me if you calculate their age. Now look at how they act. Ganondorf's made enemies with just about everyone in the hotel. Wolf's a narcissistic who howls every day near your mansion just so he can admire his own voice. And I don't even need to go into how Captain Falcon acts. _Is_ he mature? I think not." Luigi had to nod at this; recently, the F-Zero pilot had become rather secretive and had begun to shut himself within his suite every now and then. Nobody knew why, although wild rumours about him, Samus, the Pikmin and Captain Olimar were surfacing. But whenever he came out of there and brawled, there was chaos. None of them had any idea what the Captain was up to - and wasn't sure if they wanted to know.

"Captain Falcon's not a bad guy, though. He might be a little off his head... and a little paranoid about Sonic... but he's not a bad guy."

"Nah." Snake grinned. "Captain Falcon's decent enough. He only throws tantrums twice a year. It's just that they last six months each. I'd call _that _an achievement."

"What's the point in that?"

"There's more. Do you know what happened when he went to Master Hand for this month's one-to-one conversation? Where Master Hand decides whether some Smashers are completely insane or not?" Luigi shook his head. "First he was asked what his favourite band genre was. He answered 'metal' band. And then he was asked to name two instruments in a metal band, just to see what kind of instruments he liked - Master Hand was expecting electric guitars, drums, bass and such. But do you know what he said?"

"What did he say?"

"Captain Falcon named a trombone and a french horn. Simply because they were the only 'metal' instruments he could think about!"

This slew both of them, even Snake himself, and they burst into loud laughter at once. "My God, Snake." Luigi choked out, wiping tears off his cheek. "That sums up Captain Falcon _perfectly_..." He seemed as if he were about to say more, but instead resorted to silent hysteria as he doubled over. The mercenary looked on, grinning.

"Captain Olimar was with him at the time. Apparently it was the first time anyone had ever seen Olimar laugh that hard."

Luigi looked up. "I should say so. But... why was he with Captain Falcon? The conversation is meant to be a one-to-one thing, isn't it?"

Snake laughed softly, scratching his head. "Well... Knowing him, he imposed a 'No Olimar, no Falcon' policy. I don't know why he's so attached to Olimar. Maybe it's because they both hold captain status as a Smasher. You get to identify with people alike you, so I suppose that's what happened." The younger Mario brother nodded, agreeing with this theory, before he settled down and leaned against the wall with his friend. Another silence settled between them, with only the occasionaly whistling from Luigi penetrating the quiet atmosphere, and all was still.

"...I'm hungry. Fancy a snack?" Snake said after a few minutes, breaking the comfortable silence.

"I'd love one. Where shall we go? I'll buy this time."

"Nah, let's do a half-and-half split. Mona Pizza or Smashville cafe?"

"The latter would do fine." Luigi answered, and got up, pulling Snake up along with him. "Come on, get up, you lazy lump. Let's go."

* * *

Another morning brightened.

No loudspeakers greeted the Smashers this time, however, which was decidedly odd; neither Master Hand nor Crazy Hand said anything, even when the time came for the usual wake-up call.

Snake glanced up at the grandfather clock in the hall, frowning; he was doing a watch of the corridor that morning, hiding out in the cardboard box, with a Thermos-flask of coffee and a packet of biscuits he'd taken from his room. Why wasn't Master Hand saying anything? Surely it must be time by now... Or had something happened to both of them? Unlikely, as Crazy Hand and Master Hand were very versatile fighters and could easily fend off an intruder.

"Man..." The mercenary murmured to himself, and leaned back in the box, fishing around in his pockets for something. He pulled out a small envelope and held it up to the light, squinting as he tried to make out what was inside. It had been pushed under his door early that morning; he had been asleep then, so he hadn't heard any signs of the sender, but he could guess who had sent it. Only Luigi would do things in this style.

He sighed and turned the envelope over. The paper was too thick to see inside. He opened the envelope carefully and pulled out a folded piece of green, fancy writing paper, and shifted himself closer to the hole in the box, that being his only light source.

_Snake,_

_Can I meet you at the lobby today, twelve thirty p.m.? There's something I want to show you. I've been invited to Master Hand's office, you see... considering what happened that day, he noticed that Mario and I were subdued and upset. I think he wants to make up for it, although he never says much - I asked if you could come along, and he said that you should come... Mario's already been, and he said that it was worth it. _

_I'll be doing my best to look presentable; you don't get to go inside that office every day. I'd advise you not to wear the guns there! _

The letter continued on, and Snake quickly looked outside to see if anyone was snooping. No one in sight - he turned back and resumed reading.

"Master Hand... had... kittens... in his office..." Snake read out aloud, and then fell silent as he tried to comprehend the possible meaning of this sentence.

"_What_?"


	18. 18: Feline Fever

**Author's Note:** Quite a lot of you were curious about the kittens...

...So kittens I shall explain. Now that I think about it, cats, Crazy Hand and Master Hand don't mix very well together. This chapter is cute because of the kittens rather than the interaction between Snake and Luigi. Heehee.

Eighteenth of June was my birthday... Plus, congratulations and a big thank you Gir Crazy who's written the one hundredth review in this fic. I can't believe I've come this far already. Thank you to everyone who took their time to review on this fic - without your reviews and con-crit I would never have managed to write more than a few chapters. Thank you so much!

* * *

At midday, the two rendez-voused at the lobby, Snake having shaved his face clean and dressed in a casual manner. Luigi made a comment about this, gently teasing the mercenary; it was quite sweet, though, to see that he would actually do what the younger Mario brother had requested.

"I still can't believe that you had to verse it like that on the letter." Snake said haughtily as they made their way up the stairs. "I thought you meant that Master Hand _birthed_ those kittens!"

Luigi turned a faint shade of green. "Ugh, Snake... you're sick. I meant that when I _looked_ in his office window, he had kittens in there."

"That still doesn't sound right." Snake said as he turned a corner and stepped up the last few flights of stairs. "Let's just not try." He drew in a deep breath and collapsed against the wall as he finally reached the last step, holding tightly onto the plastic railing. "God. Just how many stairs does Master Hand have up here?"

"Security measure. Doesn't stop curious Smashers like me coming up here, though."

Snake let out a short 'hmph'. "Can't argue with that, I suppose. But Master Hand and kittens? That doesn't add up. He's meant to be evil, angsty... and someone who's arrogant and proud. Him and fluffy little kittens just do _not_ mix."

"You knew the word 'fluffy'." Luigi stated dryly, coming up after Snake and heading for the office door. "That's new." The curtains were drawn tightly at the window; he glanced at the pane of glass (polished to a killer shine) while the mercenary followed him, and then knocked on the mahogany door three times.

"Who is it?" Came a muffled voice.

"It's us. Snake and Luigi." The younger Mario brother called back through the keyhole. There was no reply to this for a second or two; but then a lock turned from the other side of the door, the handle twisted, and then Master Hand himself was standing at the doorway.

"Good morning, Master Hand." Luigi said politely as the door was opened. "We came for the appointment."

"Ah, yes, come in." Master Hand nodded and crept away, sounding very distracted. "I apologize for making no brawl announcements personally this morning... those kittens have been giving me a lot of work to do... If only the mother will come back..." And then he entered one of the bedrooms, still muttering under his breath. Snake and Luigi looked at each other with raised eyebrows at this; they had never seen him so distracted and tired.

Within moments, Master Hand was back.

"Are you carrying any arms or weapons? Liquids? Flammable objects? Assist Trophies? Dog food? 1-UPs?"

"No." Snake answered before Luigi could say anything; the latter also seemed to think better of replying in the positive (when it came to the 1-UPs) and kept silent.

"Washed your hands?"

"Yes."

"Disinfected?"

"Um... yes."

"Without fleas?"

"We don't _have_ fleas!" Snake said irritably.

"Neither have we, Snake." Master Hand replied calmly. "Either of you allergic to kittens?"

"Nope..."

"Well, then do come in, you two. _Do_ come in!"

The two men obeyed and quickly closed the door behind them, stepping into the main area. It was a converted four-person suite rather than a custom office of its own; but considering that there were usually only Master Hand and Crazy Hand in there, it was more than enough. Snake noticed a kitchenette, a toolbox in the corner, a main bathroom, two bedrooms and a spare room leading out from the living area, and let out a low whistle. Now this was something.

"Have a seat." Master Hand called again from the bedroom, and Snake and Luigi sat down on the comfortable settee. Luigi noted that the seats were very comfortable and squashy; he bounced a little, chuckling and grabbing himself a cushion. The mercenary looked at him with an odd look.

"What're you laughing about?"

"Nothing." The green-clad plumber replied in a jolly voice. "Nothing at all. I can't wait to see those kittens!"

"Considering that Master Hand's being even more obsessive than usual... well, I'm definitely interested. You don't get to see kits every day, do you?" Snake replied. "They must be a real handful... or just perfect... seeing as he's being very fussy."

* * *

"Here you go... they're the kittens." Master Hand came back into the living room, holding a basket covered with a blue airy cloth with two fingers and awkwardly managing to keep balance. He placed it down on the floor with a sigh of either relief or exhaustion. "Look. They're tame and calm - they won't bite. Don't worry."

Snake and Luigi knelt down on the floor, gazing at the basket. It was woven with dried reeds, Snake observed, and was quite large and deep - he suspected that it was quite new, as the exterior of the basket was clean and tidy. Luigi, meanwhile, was hesitating to lift up the cloth and peek inside; he poked at the basket gingerly with a finger, only to draw back when he found that there was no reaction whatsoever. They glanced uneasily at each other, wondering if this was a joke.

"Go on." Master Hand urged. "They should be awake soon... and none of them will attack you. I promise. Just lift up the cloth and _look_."

The green-clad plumber glanced at Snake. "Do you want to do the honours, or shall I do it?"

"You do it."

"All right then."

With the words, Luigi lifted up the cloth and set it aside.

And looked.

Four little bundles of fluff, two ginger and two grey, were nestled inside the basket, still and unmoving. They looked nothing like alive beings - but one of them suddenly squirmed around, whimpering at the sudden exposure to sunlight, and shook itself free from its littermates. It looked up, blinking sleepily at the strangers; it was a little kitten with bright blue eyes, ginger coloured fur and orange tabby stripes. Its ears were delicately folded. It blinked again, and then yawned wide, showing its tiny well-developed teeth.

"They're Scottish Folds and they're five-and-a-half weeks old." The giant Hand said next to them. "Aren't they beauties?" For a moment, there was hint of affection and pride in the voice of the normally-emotionless, irritable master of the Smash Brothers tournament. Snake was fascinated; he looked closer, lost for words, at the three other kittens who were now waking up. But this reaction was mild compared to Luigi, who looked just about ready to explode.

"But they're so _cute_!" Luigi cried, and then he leapt forwards at the kittens. "Oh my...can we cuddle them, Master Hand? Please?"

"Feel free, as long as you don't end up squashing them..." The giant Hand muttered, and then slithered out of the main area to Crazy Hand's room. Luigi squealed uncharacteristically and sat down in front of the basket, smiling at the kittens whose eyes were now all open; they seemed dazed from sleep, but certainly not afraid. They blinked their blue eyes at this man whom they were completely new to, their eyes shining with childlike curiosity. Snake settled down somewhat uneasily next to him, gazing at the kittens also. "Crazy! Can you quickly let Dusty out here? We have guests who want to see the kittens-"

"No! Dusty's _mine_! They can't hog him to themselves!" Crazy Hand hollered from the room.

"Come on. Just for a few minutes! It isn't like Snake and Luigi are going to take him away for ever... oh come _on_..."

Luigi, meanwhile, wasn't paying attention to this exchange. He leaned forwards, giving them his hand and bending down to convey that he meant no harm. They all stared at him for a while - but then a ginger kitten, the one that had been the first to awaken, cautiously stepped forwards to lightly dab at his hand with a little paw. Luigi extended his other hand; the kitten looked at both hands and lightly rubbed its sleek body against him, staying calm as the green-clad plumber lifted it gently out of the basket. It let out a soft mew and then sat quietly on Luigi's lap, looking up with innocent, inquisitive eyes.

"Why did it rub against your hand?" Snake inquired, intrigued at this display.

"It's a sign of trust. I don't think they're afraid of us." Luigi answered, still focused on the kitten. He patted its head and smiled as the kitten purred. "Oh, they're so beautiful-" He exclaimed, and picked up the kitten again. It did not protest nor struggle this time either. Snake had to admit that Luigi was actually very good at this - he was wary of picking up one for himself, as much as the kittens fascinated him. The plumber was a natural at this sort of thing; he never seemed to frighten the little animals that sometimes wandered into the brawling arenas, and always treated them with infinite gentleness. He watched the younger Mario brother carefully gather its hind legs and cuddle it close. The tabby mewed and rubbed the back of its head against Luigi's arm, obviously enjoying the touch.

"God bless you." Luigi whispered, tickling the kitten softly on the belly (the kit didn't seem to mind, and mewed contentedly). "Oh, bless you!" he then lifted up the kitten for the last time, pressing a soft kiss onto its nose. In response, the kitten mewed again and reached out with its paws, dabbing lightly at the younger brother's mustache and cheeks; chuckling, Luigi fell over backwards on the floor and held the kit tightly in his arms.

Snake watched this with a strange kind of interest; he knew Luigi to be a very affectionate man, but it was always the friendly displays of affection that the mercenary was used to, such as hugs and petting. Seeing the younger Mario brother being _this_ playful and sweet was a surprise. It dawned on Snake just how _little_ he knew of the other's personality - Luigi seemed to have multiple layers of emotions and feelings inside him, and the soldier could never predict what was coming next. It didn't matter if it was all similar, with the other merely displaying different degrees of affection and kindness, because he _still _couldn't figure it out.

"You seem to be very attached to it already."

"I can't help it." The kitten dabbed at Luigi's chin. "I love this one. It's so _cute_!"

"Would you like some drinks?" Master Hand reappeared from Crazy Hand's room, having given up on trying to persuade his brother. "I have coffee, tea, milk, juice... almost anything you can think of... well, what would you like?"

"Some coffee, if you don't mind, Master Hand." Snake replied, and the giant Hand nodded.

"Cream and sugar?"

"Oh yes, please."

"And what about you, Luigi?" Master Hand turned to the younger Mario brother. Luigi sat up, and considered this question for a few seconds before looking at the Hand again.

"Do you have any cream soda? If not, I'd like a coffee just like Snake's, please."

"One coffee and cream soda coming right up." The Hand said as he crept over to the fridge. Snake noticed that Master Hand was taking a rather strange order from Luigi's part; not many people readily carried cream soda in their fridges. And both of the Hands absolutely hated soda of any kind. It was an very unusual order to say the least, yet Master Hand hadn't protested or refused. The mercenary guessed that what happened to Luigi and Mario a few days prior had weighed down deep in his conscience and he wanted to make up as much as possible for it. Master Hand was not one for emotion, nor was he really individually concerned about the Smashers. It was a very simple thing he was doing now - letting both brothers see the kittens, and getting cream soda for Luigi - but to Snake, that gesture good as well proved that Master Hand did have a heart.

This made him smile.

"What are you thinking?" Luigi inquired, looking at Snake. The mercenary looked back, his smile growing wider.

"Nothing in particular."

"Come on. You must be thinking something - why would you be smiling otherwise?"

"Does one need a reason to smile?" Master Hand's voice interrupted the two, as he came along balancing a tray of drinks on the back of his hand. As a result, he was walking slowly and in a rather flat awkward manner. "And how do you find the kittens? Not giving you trouble, I hope?"

"Oh, they're perfectly lovely." The younger Mario brother instantly replied, stroking his kitten's back gently. It began to purr at the touch, curling up further - Luigi grinned and then looked up again. "I really like this one. Does he... or she... have a name?"

"Let's see..." Master Hand placed down the tray of drinks and took the kitten from the green-clad plumber's hand, turning it around with unusual gentleness and looking at the markings on is belly and back. "This one's a female, Luigi. Full of spunk too. I reckon she's braver and more energetic than any of her littermates. And she doesn't have a name, by the way... there you go-" The Hand returned the queen-kit into Luigi's arms, who instantly mewed happily and curled into the warmth. "Only one of the kittens have a name at the moment and he's not here. He's Crazy's kitten - called Dusty - but I don't think my brother really wants to let go of him."

"Where's the mother queen?" Luigi asked, still holding his kitten (which was purring soothingly), and reaching out a hand to take the glass of soda. "Thank you for the drinks... But what about her? Is she resting?"

"Bird and mice hunting to feed her offspring, I suppose. She'll be back in an hour." Master Hand commented, inching over to the basket and tapping at a grey kitten's back in a gentle manner. "They're fully weaned - it was quite early, but they seem to be perfectly fine. So we're giving them solid food at the moment." He suddenly chuckled, his whole hand shaking with mirth - apparently recalling a fond memory. "When she was giving birth to those kits... normally they arrive in a kind of sac called an amnion. And it's very nutritious for the queen... she eats it when the kitten is born."

This did not disgust or otherwise put off the two men very much; they were used to worse things. They nodded and waited for Master Hand to continue, sipping their drinks calmly. "So this time, you see, she birthed her third before she got tired of eating those sacs. Me and Crazy both got very worried, you see... because she would have needed a lot of nutrients and such to keep her going. She was fine, but then we had to think about the two leftover sacs..."

"So what did you do with them?" Snake asked with a kind of morbid curiosity.

"Ugh, Snake..." Luigi said, pulling a disgusted face. "...Do you have to be so ghastly?"

"Hey, it's a question. And I actually am curious. Did you throw them away?"

"I saved them, sauteed them with a little butter and garlic in a frying pan in the morning and made a kind of breakfast for her. She loved it." The giant Hand laughed. "I sure do go far, no?"

Luigi looked away, shuddering and suddenly looking a bit sick. Unlike him, Snake didn't flinch, although he did turn a faint shade of green.

"...Eww..."

"You wanted to know, so I told you." Master Hand said loftily, and picked up the second ginger kitten from the basket, letting it lie quietly under his palm. "But enough of that."

"...Um... Snake? Aren't you going to pet any kittens?" Luigi asked, glad of the conversation change. He looked at the basket, seeing two bright-eyes grey kittens looking at them expectantly. "They're really sweet. Try petting one!"

The mercenary hesitated; him, petting a kitten? Absurd! It was unheard of! "Well... I..."

"Go on. They seem to like you two." Master Hand put in also. "The grey ones are a tad timid and shy... they won't bite you."

The soldier sighed, looking at the basket. He bent over, looking into the eyes of the two kittens; they met his gaze without flinching or looking away. One sat up a little straighter at seeing him, and he made his choice. "Well, if you insist..."

Snake picked up the grey-furred kitten, who mewed in protest at being picked up in such an ungraceful manner but then held still. It did not seem afraid nor angry; it simply looked at him, with no hate, anger, fear or any form of judgement in its wide eyes. The mercenary slowly reached out a hand, copying what Luigi had done; he gathered up its hind legs and let it rest in his arms, feeling rather strange. The little kitten seemed momentarily uncomfortable with Snake, as he was still quite tense and awkward; but it managed to find a way to make itself at home in his arms as it curled up and mewed softly. The mercenary looked down at this helpless little being, snuggling into his arms, mixed feelings arising inside him. Here was a kitten, who knew nothing of him and truly did not judge him at all. Even some of the soldier's closest friends had been afraid or wary of him at some point; but this kitten merely looked at him, eyes bright with curiosity but nothing more.

He could crush this little thing so easily. Just one quick squeeze and it would be over. Didn't the kitten _know_ that? Couldn't it just sense the danger he was capable of? But it simply carried on looking at him and nuzzling into his arms, and Snake knew that even if the kitten knew this, it wouldn't care. He took up the kitten and rolled it between his hands, taking in the soft, silky warmth of the fur. It twitched its ears (as best as it could) and grasped his index finger, clinging to it with its paws.

"Snake, that one you have there's a male," Master Hand interrupted his chain of thoughts, picking out the last kitten from the basket and letting it lie next to its ginger-furred sibling. "and he's a quiet one. Never mews more than a couple of times unless he's really bothered... or comfortable." The kitten nibbled on the mercenary's finger softly. "And I've never heard him purr either."

"I have." A voice sounded from behind them; they all looked up to see Crazy Hand, who was creeping along the floor, delicately balancing a ginger kitten on the back of his hand. Unlike Master Hand, his gait was graceful and he never once lost balance. His movements were more rapid, yet he never once stumbled or hesitated until he had reached the living area and set down the ginger kitten. "Meet Dusty, you two." He said somewhat dryly at Snake and Luigi. "He's my kitten and the oldest one."

"Hello, Dusty." Luigi called softly. The ginger tom kitten looked at him with bright, piercing blue eyes, but ignored his call and began grooming itself, running a tongue along the somewhat ruffled, deep ginger fur. The green-clad plumber chuckled and sat back. "He's a haughty one, isn't he?"

Snake shifted around, trying to make his kitten comfortable. "He's been with Crazy Hand too long, I suppose. You say that you've heard this kitten purr?" This last question was directed at Crazy Hand; the Hand nodded as best as possible. He seemed very subdued today, well-mannered and calm, when before he had been a little more than a raving lunatic.

"You've got to listen carefully. I've been giving Dusty my attention... my water... food... everything, but I've looked after the others too. That one you have there-" He pointed with an index finger and a thumb. "-only ever purrs if someone strokes him really slowly. And only if they're actually doing it right."

"Is that so?" Luigi asked, stroking his kitten. The queen kitten on his lap purred soothingly and rubbed the back of its head on Luigi's palm. "Well, if it works for mine... Try it, Snake."

"...Stroking kittens is sentimental stuff. I don't do it."

"But how can you _not _want to stroke him? Oh, go on, he won't attack you..."

Snake sighed, reluctantly moving his hand and resting it upon the kitten's back. He ventured no further, feeling somewhat wary of what might happen. "What if I do something wrong?"

"You won't." Luigi smiled, and the mercenary slowly moved his palm against the soft, thick pearl-grey fur, feeling the sleek warmth; he was vaguely aware that he was stroking this kitten the wrong way, and hastily changed direction, smoothing over the rumpled fur. The tom kitten stayed silent for a full minute, its paws folded delicately beneath its body; but then its back began to arch at the rhythmic stroking, and its eyes closed contentedly. Slowly - quietly - the kitten was beginning to purr.

Luigi clapped his hands in delight. "That's wonderful, Snake!" He exclaimed softly, peering down to see the kitten lazily lying across the mercenary's lap. Its purrs had become louder somewhat, which was a sign that it was enjoying every bit of this moment.

"They have such a soft voice." Snake observed, looking down at his kitten. "Is it because of their breed?"

"Yes. Scottish Folds have really soft and quiet voices." Master Hand answered. "Quite unlike the Siamese, which are extremely vocal... and very loud too. That's why I don't particularly like the Siamese breed. Reminds me too much of Crazy Hand's screaming. I don't want to hear that sound every moment of my waking life."

The soldier laughed out loud, startling his kitten. It stopped purring and looked around, its eyes open and alert. "I've got to agree with that, I suppose. Wouldn't want to wake up to a cat screaming in my ear for breakfast - hey, what _are _you doing-" The kitten had jumped up onto his arms, clinging tightly to his shirt.

"What's going on?" Luigi glanced around sharply, looking up from the process of fondling his own ginger kitten behind the ears.

"Hey, hey..." Snake said uneasily as the kitten nuzzled deeper into his chest. "What-" But he was cut off as the tom kitten placed two little paws on his chest, looking up at him with innocent eyes. The mercenary found himself quite at a loss; nothing like that had ever happened to him before, and it was a completely new experience for him. He automatically felt his protective instincts kicking in when the kitten stumbled and slid down - and quickly supported it with his arms from below, hugging it in the process and bringing its face close to his own. The kitten took this chance and reached with its paws, softly rubbing the paw pads against his cheek. But it was nowhere near finished, and carried on showering this man with as much affection as possible - when Snake brought the kitten closer, it licked his cheek with a rough tongue.

"He likes you." Master Hand said, a hint of fondness in his voice. "Look at him. He's never been quite the outgoing one, but he just completely adores you. It's obvious."

"Aww, your kitten's so sweet with you..." Luigi said, sounding somewhat envious; his own kitten had settled down and only twitched its ears every now and then. The younger Mario brother sat closer to him, rubbing Snake's kitten on the back gently. "But it can't like you more than _I _do."

"What do you mean by 'can't'?" The mercenary asked, sounding amused. Luigi pouted.

"I demand it." He replied. "It _can't_ nestle into our box."

"Bless your heart." Snake laughed heartily, and reached out a hand to stroke the other's hair. Luigi looked up, leaning into the familiar touch. "Don't worry. I'll be seeing a good deal more of you than this little kit here. And besides... it isn't like we can come here often."

Crazy Hand lightly wriggled his thumb. "I wouldn't count on that alone, Snake. You'll find that you might get a bit attached to that kitten. And that goes for you too-" He pointed to Luigi. "-I don't know whether you two'll be seeing more of each other than you'll see those kittens, but I should think that we'll certainly be seeing a lot more of both of you in here. And eventually you'll end up falling in love with those kittens and ask us to keep them. It's a real shame though... after three months you'll be back in your own worlds. So I suggest you keep on coming up here, make the good times last, and have fun with the kittens. Sure, it won't last for eternity. But boy, if you'd prefer that to joining me drinking out of the toilet and kidnapping chambermaids, you should go for what suits you best."

This was the first real wise thing that Crazy Hand had ever said; the three stared at him in shock, wondering what had caused this dramatic change in him.

"Wow." Master Hand finally said. "Crazy, that was... that was _deep_. That was honestly deep."

"Being with Dusty mellowed him, I'm guessing." Luigi stated calmly, although he was still looking at Crazy Hand as if he couldn't believe this change. "I've heard that cats can calm down hyperactive children and can lower blood pressure. That's probably what happened with him!"

"Must be very addictive, then." Snake said, absent-mindedly stroking the pearl-grey kitten on its scruff, feeling its tail wind around his other hand. "But then, if he continues like this, Crazy Hand won't be... you know, Crazy Hand."

"Kittens aren't addictive." Crazy Hand put in lazily, slowly sweeping his thumb over Dusty's back. "I should know. I've been with Dusty for every single hour of the day. I even have my meals with him and sleep in the same bed. He's got little paw pads like jelly - they're so fun to squeeze!"

Everyone fell silent and just looked at him. Crazy Hand gulped.

"...Sorry."

* * *

The whole exchange carried on for more than half an hour until the mother of the kittens returned; when the queen entered, she pranced over to the four and silently carried the kittens away by grasping their scruff between her teeth. She replaced them back in the basket, beginning to vigorously groom her offspring, all the while looking somewhat suspiciously at the two strangers.

"She'll get to trust you eventually." Master Hand said reassuringly. "You two're welcome to come and see them any time you like."

Snake and Luigi both nodded and stood up, knowing that it was time to leave. They both thanked the giant Hand for the drinks and the opportunity to see the kittens, and headed for the office door; Crazy Hand was left to guard the basket along with the mother queen, and Master Hand accompanied them to the entrance.

"Again, thank you very much, Master Hand." Snake and Luigi both quietly stated. The giant Hand waved their remarks off coolly, but he did seem secretly pleased.

"My pleasure. Do come again sometime. Those kittens haven't been touched by anyone else except for me, Crazy and Mario - he was here yesterday evening - and I think they like you very much. It'd be a shame to deprive you or the kittens of the pleasure." He wriggled his fingers. "Off you go now. I'll be making a brawl announcement shortly."

"Good day to you." And they both went down the staircase, hearing the office door shut behind them. Luigi followed Snake, a dreamy smile on his face, sliding his palm against the banisters as he hopped down the stairs. "Snake, how did you find the kittens?"

"Enchanting." The mercenary answered, waiting at the corner for his friend, who soon jumped down to join him on the landing. "That was certainly worth it. I plan to return later on, if just to see that grey kitten I've petted..." He trailed off, his gaze far away and somewhat melancholy. Luigi noticed, and gently grasped his arm, looking up into his face.

"Snake, what's wrong?"

"It's just that... well..." Luigi could visibly see the other man hesitating with his words - that almost never happened. Sure, he could be awkward around things he weren't used to, such as hugs and cute animals, but he had never failed to voice his thoughts once. "That kitten... he didn't judge me. If I could communicate with that kitten, Luigi, I would have told him that I'm a mercenary who's more than capable of killing... but I could see that he didn't care. He just _didn't_. It was... unsettling."

"Why?"

"He's convinced that I'm a good guy." Snake looked hard into Luigi's eyes - the other stared back, his gaze clear and calm. "What if I do something wrong next time... and lose my temper... and... you know, he ends up disliking me? He's the first non-human being that really didn't care about my past and gave me so much adoration. You see... I've never quite tried anything like petting a kitten before." He smiled sadly, and then gently patted Luigi on the back, noting the other's downhearted expression. "Don't look like that. That was nothing more than a soldier's ramblings. Forget about it. It's you who's good with those kittens."

"You were better with your own kitten." The green-clad plumber said quietly, looking pensive. "I know I was the one who reached out first... but my kitten didn't connect with me the way you did with yours. He loved you completely. Anyone could see it."

"Luigi..."

"So cheer up, Snake. Your kitten isn't going anywhere. He'll keep on adoring you."

The mercenary leaned against the wall, facing down the stairway, and managed a mild smile. "...Thanks."

"You're welcome. Let's go together when we visit them again."

"Mmm. Fair enough." The soldier looked at his watch, a small grin gracing his face; then without further ado, he stooped down and picked up the green-clad plumber in his arms, completely disregarding the cries of protest from the other man. "Come on. Let's go have something to eat. I'm sure they'll have something in the bar."

"Snake, for God's sake," Luigi half shrieked, his face turning as red as a tomato. "they'll see us! Put me down, put me _down_-"

"Stop whining. Think of yourself as that kitten and you'll be fine." Snake laughed, his eyes glinting with mischief as he walked down the flights of stairs and ran his fingers lightly through the other's hair. "If anyone asks, you had a sudden violent impulse to throw yourself from the top of the stairs and I've talked you out of it. Or Yoshi nearly toppled you over. Either way I'm not putting you down anywhere."

Luigi sighed, bringing one hand to his face and lightly smacking himself on the forehead. How did he get himself into this?

"I hate you sometimes." He said flatly, but as the mercenary grinned at him and began whistling a tune to himself as he jovially walked down the stairs, he couldn't help but settle down. As brash and boisterous the mercenary could be, Luigi had just glimpsed the small part of him that really cared, and with him being hugged like this... well...

...he didn't really mind.


	19. 19: Darkness Within

**Author's Note:** Man, overdue chapter... Think of this as a spinoff. I make Luigi way too depressed. But then, if you think about it, the guy does have an incredibly traumatizing past. It's a wonder he hasn't gone insane already. Always in Mario's shadow, regarded as second best, forgotten, even possessed... I'd go mad after a few _days_, let alone twenty-five _years_.

I tried to cram in too much information in this chapter and therefore it is extremely confusing. If you have never played Super Paper Mario you might have some problems understanding what the hell happened. This one has the Green Thunder, Mr. L in it... albeit not in a very active way.

Snake and Luigi can take a vacation and stroke their kittens for a while. I plan to write something without them for the next couple of chapters. I need variation, damnit, variation! Mind you, me being me, it's probably going to end up as something weird. Again.

And yes, I seldom punch Sandbags. Their eyes succeed too often in melting my heart. x.x

* * *

"Ow..."

Solid Snake woke in the darkness, wincing and closing his eyes in pain, his hand groping in a futile attempt to cling on to whatever he could find. His hands closed around something soft and warm - bedsheets? - and he sat up, dizzy and disoriented.

Where was he?

This sudden realization panicked him; where was he, indeed? Where was this place? Why did his back hurt so much?

_Keep calm, Snake, and think!_ He told himself, and began looking around. There was no light at all in the place; his eyes saw nothing but darkness, so the mercenary had to work with whatever he could feel to help identify where he was. First, he felt all around himself, feeling nothing but soft, squashy materials. He seemed to be in a bed of some sort, propped up with a couple of pillows and a thick warm blanket over him. But this wasn't his hotel suite - he preferred his mattress firm, and this bed was everything _but_ firm. Snake lightly skimmed the surface of the blanket with his fingers and rubbed them together, sensing something fine and grainy coating the end of his index and thumb. Was it dust? Just how old was this bed?

Dust... bed... He hastily pushed the blankets away and got out of the bed - the floorboards creaked under his weight, further confirming his suspicions. Carefully crouching down, he felt around on the floor for any sign of his belongings. He felt the outline of a gun, another gun, his codec... a grenade... his belt... and that was it. So someone had brought him to this place, had unarmed him.

Why would they do that?

Snake tried to remember what had happened prior to his awakening. He remembered faint lights, sounds that hardly made any sense... it wasn't any use. He couldn't remember it at all. Putting the thought aside for now, he tiptoed around the room slowly, grasping his bearings and determining how large the room was. He decided that this was the size of a large bedchamber, and the bed he had been lying on was a four-poster bed. Wincing as he bumped into a bedpost, he felt around the walls to see if there was a way out. There had to be.

"Aha." He murmured as his fingers closed around a doorknob. Feeling much lighter and relieved, he turned the doorknob clockwise.

It was stuck.

Snake breathed out heavily, biting his lip and drawing a hand over his forehead. Nothing was free today, was it? He could vaguely guess where he was, it was just that he had to confirm it. Taking another deep breath, he sharply turned the doorknob again and slammed his weight onto the door at the same time; this time the door gave way, hanging loose from its hinges uselessly, while the mercenary walked out of the room.

His breath was misting; it was cold here, almost unbearably cold. A faint milky light shone throughout the place, and in an instant Snake knew that his suspicions were right.

He was in Luigi's Mansion.

"Alright, fine." He muttered to himself, tightening his bandanna around his forehead (it had become loose somehow) and frowning. "Alright... but why would he bring me here?" He thought back again, trying to make some sense of the sounds he remembered. Hadn't there been a green creature? Or a swordsman? He remembered clashing weapons, screaming and generally loud, horrid noises -

"Oh yeah..." He whispered, inwardly chastising himself for not remembering what had happened sooner. Sure, what else? He'd been in a brawl, against Yoshi and Ike, when he had been hit pretty hard with the back of Ike's sword. That must be why his back was hurting so much. Luigi hadn't participated in said brawl, but he could have either received an alert, or he could have been watching from the spectators' gallery, and could have brought him here easily. He looked back into the room, the pale light from the corridor illuminating most of the room; he easily found the light switch on the wall and clicked it to the 'on' position, lighting an electric chandelier in the process. The light was dim, but it brightened up the room considerably, so that was good. He relaxed his shoulders and breathed in calmly - he was in unfamiliar grounds, but not a dangerous one. He would be safe here. Deciding to explore, Snake wandered into the bedroom again.

The furniture and bed was very dusty, as he had assumed. But the drawers, the small bedside table, and the wardrobe... they were all high-quality antiques that collectors would die to have. Everything was in a good condition, so with a little bit of dusting, this place would be perfect to live in. Suddenly feeling rather curious, Snake bent down and opened one of the drawers; it was empty of clothes, of course, but there were a few neatly-bound leather volumes stacked up there. Snake took out one and opened it, although he knew that he really shouldn't do such things - and immediately closed it again. The contents were written entirely in Italian.

Placing the book back again, as neatly as possible, Snake quietly shut the drawer and looked up, his gaze falling on to the bedside table. He leant in close, brushing the dust from the wooden table-top, observing the five small silver frames on it - he hadn't noticed it before, but those frames held photos.

Luigi wasn't a photograph kind of person. In fact, in some photoshoots during brawls, he would inch away from the camera and turn his back on it, shy and nervous, in case an embarrassing moment was captured on film for ever.

Feeling intrigued, Snake brushed the thin film of dust from the far-left side photo and looked. Mario and Luigi were pictured there, as young teenagers; he stared, fascinated. Luigi looked so young and carefree, his now-light brown hair much darker then. He was wearing a green jacket, sans cap, and was smiling happily without a care in the world, holding onto his older brother who looked equally joyful. Both were looking directly into the camera, their blue eyes still vibrant in the image even after many, many years. Snake let himself gaze into Luigi's face for a long time before moving on to the next photograph.

The second one was of a middle-aged, dark-haired woman. The soldier could not help but notice that this particular photo was cleaned and free of dust; was it someone special? She was wearing a clean apron and a checked blouse beneath; the woman was smiling shyly, but with clear, soft wise eyes. Her eyes were blue just like the Mario brothers' - and then, with a sudden jolt of realization Snake knew that he was looking at Mario and Luigi's mother. She was a quite beautiful woman, not exactly thin but rather slender nonetheless; the way she sat there, her posture and quiet dignity, told the mercenary that she was no ordinary woman. How tired she must have been! Looking after two boys, without their father close by, and yet she had done so much for them. Snake could not help but bow his head slightly in respect at this realization. Again, he looked at this for quite a while before turning and looking at the middle photo.

The third and fourth photos were similar. They both held Mario and Luigi; but the third photo also had two princesses alongside them. Snake recognized the woman on the left as Princess Peach, but the one on the right - closest to Luigi - he didn't know. She had brown hair and a sunshine-yellow dress, holding onto Luigi's hat and shoulders happily, ignoring the camera in favour of the younger Mario brother. Mario and Princess Peach looked very regal together, and weren't making any contact, yet the way they stood together spoke more than words about the two's relationship. The mercenary let out a low 'hmm' and looked again at Luigi. He looked somewhat flustered, yet definitely happy, but there was a certain amount of tension between him and his brother that hadn't been present in the very first photograph. The fourth photograph only had three people in it, with a different woman in a pale blue dress standing between the brothers. Her hair was a shiny, silvery blonde, and her eyes were a deep blue; but she wasn't smiling brightly at all. In fact, she looked rather pensive and melancholy rather than happy. Snake could assume that this was a rather recent photograph, as Luigi looked hardly different from his present appearance there. The brothers were smiling softly, but looked nowhere near happy as the previous ones.

The fifth one was held facedown.

Snake tilted his head to the side, wondering why this was so. Reaching out a hand, he grasped the edge of the photo frame gently and held it upright, brushing the thick dust from the surface. He noted that this photograph had a rather unpleasant air around it; firstly, the frame was completely different to the others. Sure, it was still silver, but it also had an intricate pattern carved onto the frame that somehow didn't seem right. The photo was too out of place - Snake shook his head, dusted off the glass covering and looked closely. The photo was of a man, disturbingly similar to Luigi, yet he had a dangerous, silent aura around him that even made the mercenary frown and draw back slightly. His eyes were pale, with black pupils in the middle that looked straight into the camera. He wasn't smiling, but nor was he frowning either. He was emotionless, expressionless - he gave away nothing, yet something about him still wasn't right. The upper part of his face was obscured by a black eye-mask, and he had a dark green bandanna around his neck. His hair was a light brown, styled like Luigi's, and he had a mustache exactly like his - but apart from that, Snake could not recognize him at all. Why would the younger Mario brother have such an unpleasant photo here, when he was going to have it facedown anyway? Why not just tuck it away somewhere? The fact that it was amongst the most prized selection of photos was weird enough, but this man...

...he looked _haunted_...

Snake quickly looked up, placing the photo back on the bedside table. There had been a sound - or had he even heard it? It sounded like a wounded animal, almost like a soft pained whimper; but what could it possibly be? The mercenary stood perfectly still, like he had been trained to do, and listened hard.

There was it again! Where was it coming from? Snake could guess that it wasn't far away - somewhere down this corridor, presumably - and walked silently and quickly out of the door, still fully alert and listening. When the whimper came for the third time, he managed to pinpoint the location to about twenty yards away, just at the end of the corridor. He walked down the hall, listening at every door until he found the one that he had been looking for.

"Hello?" He called, his breath white and misty, and subconsciously wrapped his arms around himself. It was colder today for some reason; was the temperature meter broken? Luigi controlled it, so if he was letting the whole place get this cold - "Hello? Can I come in?"

No answer.

Snake chewed on his bottom lip, trying to keep his cool. He tried the door, finding that it was unlocked - he only hesitated for a few seconds before pushing open the door. This one opened smoothly, unlike the one before. The mercenary walked straight in, gazing around the room before letting his eyes fall to the centre of the bedroom.

Luigi was lying in a bed in the darkness.

But there was something wrong, dreadfully wrong with him; he was fully dressed, curled up tightly as if he were in great pain, and low moans were escaping from his lips. Alarmed, Snake jogged into the room and bent over the limp green form on the bed. "Luigi! Luigi, are you all right? For God's sake, answer me!"

"Snake!" The green-clad plumber whispered weakly, his voice hoarse and faint. "Leave me alone!"

"What? No!" The mercenary sat down quickly on the bed, touching Luigi's shoulder with a shaky hand; the latter flinched sharply and slapped him away. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

"Just leave me!" The other's forehead was beading with sweat now, his eyes fluttering open halfway, revealing wide frightened eyes. "Snake, get out of the room, close the door and stay until it's all over. Please. Don't stay here. I might end up doing something terrible and I don't want to hurt you- ahh...!" His words were cut off as he cried out in pain, shutting his eyes and clutching his chest. Snake bent down swiftly, brushing his fingers over Luigi's forehead. The plumber was highly feverish, and the mercenary briefly considered carrying him to the infirmary where Dr. Mario would take care of him.

"Come with me, Luigi... you're ill!"

"I'm not." Luigi whispered. "You can never believe anything I say after this, but I'm not ill. Just go!"

"But-"

"_Go_!"

Snake hesitated. His logical mind told him to leave the room and come back later, as Luigi had requested. Being a mercenary, he could not expose himself to danger in any way. But he didn't want to leave the green-clad plumber here, where he could severely injure himself in that condition. He reached out his hand, but then Luigi cried out sharply again, his eyes snapping open this time - and Snake withdrew, gasping in shock despite himself. Luigi's eyes were dilated and wide, his pupils little more than tiny dots; the younger Mario brother's teeth were clenched tightly, and he was obviously in great pain.

"Just... leave... me be..." He managed to choke out. Then the mercenary knew by his instincts that he could not help Luigi in any way; the green-clad plumber seemed almost ready to tear something to pieces. But he could stop him struggling so much and hurting himself, although he wouldn't particularly like the _method_ of doing as such. Thinking quickly, and inwardly cursing himself for this act, Snake grabbed and bound the younger Mario brother's wrists together with the bedsheets, and fled the room without saying a word.

Once outside, however, and once the door was firmly shut behind him, Snake regretted his decision.

He had not expected Luigi to act like this at all, and he certainly hadn't expected him to start screaming fit to burst. Luigi was screaming inside, partly tied up, and Snake could hear thumping sounds coming from the room grow steadily louder. The mercenary clenched his fists tightly, only half aware that he was actually shaking; he wasn't one to get like this easily, but the noises were nothing like he had ever heard before. He could have managed better with weapons and guns, but this...

...he had no idea what to do.

"My God..." He whispered to himself, throwing a nervous glance behind himself, trying to block out the screaming. The loud noises had faded somewhat as the younger Mario's voice began to give out, but instead of screaming he had moved on to general hysteria and struggling. Snake could hear the bed thumping against the wall, and harsh, uneven noises - was Luigi hyperventilating?

Not knowing what else to do, Snake stayed outside for another half-minute, trying to block out the noise.

* * *

After thirty seconds, the noises had died down somewhat; but Snake could still hear heavy breathing and the occasional creak of the bed as Luigi shifted around. Snake entered the room without hesitation, bracing himself in case the younger Mario brother decided to throw something at him.

_And with good reason too_, he thought bitterly. The room seemed fine, and Luigi was still lying on the bed, eyes closed and quiet. However, his forehead was still covered with sweat, his hat had fallen to the floor and the sheets below were crumpled badly. He must have been thrashing around badly.

Before Snake could say or do anything, his eyes opened - revealing the most murderous glare that the mercenary had ever seen in a human. Snake actually flinched, eyes widening at the unexpected sight.

"Get me out," Luigi shouted, his eyes wild with fury. "How _dare_ you do this! Let me go, I say, let me _go_!" His wrists were red and rubbed rough from being tied up, and he began struggling again, trying to free himself. Snake complied, quickly untying the knots and freeing the other's wrists - luckily, the knots hadn't tightened so much that he had to cut Luigi from the sheets. As soon as he was free, Luigi rolled over on his side and curled up, facing away from Snake. He appeared to be trembling, his eyes shut tightly.

"Do you want a drink?" Snake asked quietly, attempting to calm the green-clad plumber down a little. _Where the hell's the kitchen in this place? _

No answer came. He sighed and sat down close to Luigi, not touching or otherwise coming in contact with him, in fear that he would withdraw and become afraid again. "Look... I'm sorry, Luigi. But I had no idea what was going to happen. I couldn't let you get hurt. You could have injured yourself on the bedposts, fallen out of the bed... _anything_."

Still no response. Luigi remained where he was, immobile and silent.

"I thank you for getting me back safely from my brawl. Without you, I might have ended up in that infirmary - God knows what they do to people there - but my back feels better now. I owe you a lot, Luigi. I don't know what I'll do without you, as cliche as that sounds." Snake sighed quietly and looked back just slightly at the form behind him. "The room was really nice. And the photos on the bedside table-"

But this sentence he never got to finish, as Luigi suddenly reacted and grasped Snake's shoulders, his nails digging into the skin.

"You looked at them, didn't you?" He demanded, his gaze half furious and half terrified; this violent contrast of emotions was nothing that the mercenary had ever seen in anyone's eyes, and he blinked, feeling confused.

"I-"

Luigi didn't wait for a reply. He roughly shoved the mercenary away from him with all his strength, pushing him off the bed and onto the floor. Snake hit the floor with a thud, letting a sharp cry escape him as he fell on his side and hit his shoulderblades quite hard. The fact that the floorboards were made of real, solid wood didn't help. But the one good thing that came out of this was that Luigi came back to his senses; he stared at his hands and then back at Snake, the wild fiery look gone from his eyes, staring as if he couldn't believe what he had done.

"I... I..." Luigi whispered, trembling all over; he wasn't crying or sobbing, but he seemed scared, so very _scared_, and Snake could do nothing about it. "Snake, I'm sorry...! I didn't mean-"

"What happened to you, Luigi?" The mercenary asked, confused and winded from the blow. He rubbed his shoulderblades, wincing, as he walked back towards the plumber and knelt down on the floor. "This... isn't like you. What's so wrong about a photo?" Luigi didn't answer, and only shook further. "What's going on? Are you not telling me something?"

"You'd... hate me." The younger Mario brother murmured, nestling deeper into the sheets. "I can't tell anyone... Only Mario and Princess Peach really knows and if they know that someone else saw me like this... Oh my God, what a _mess_-"

"Well, you aren't doing yourself much good by keeping it in." Snake said bluntly, sitting back down again on the bed and looking at Luigi. "Something tells me that you can't exactly apply the 'a problem shared is a problem halved' rule to this one... but try me. It shouldn't harm any of us..."

"How can you be so sure?" Luigi blurted out. "You don't even _know_ why I'm like this!"

"So I'm asking you to tell me." Snake replied calmly, meeting the other's eyes with a steady, intense gaze. Luigi looked at him for one long moment, and then without another word got up and marched out from the bedroom, Snake following closely behind. They did not talk nor stop until they reached the room where Snake had been in previously; the younger Mario brother went straight to the bedside table and picked up a photo frame.

"You know who this is?" Luigi asked quietly, holding up the photograph with the dark, menacing figure. Snake shook his head.

"He resembles you closely in appearance. But I don't... feel you in there at all."

"But your first guess was right, Snake. This _is_ me." Luigi whispered, a resigned, sad little smile on his face. He threw the photo frame onto the covers and sat down heavily, looking away from the mercenary's stunned expression. He seemed completely ashamed of himself. "It's an example of how dark... how degraded... I could ever get in my life."

"Luigi-"

"Listen." The younger Mario brother stated, his voice calm but forceful. "I didn't hold the name Luigi then. I was known by a different name, given to me by the person who gave me this photograph. And I was completely unaware of what was going on until it was too late..." He laughed bitterly, glancing at Snake with a crooked grin. His eyes were flat.

"All I wanted to do was _help_. Like Mario always does to people around him. All I wanted to do was to help the Princess get away from Bowser. This was before the tournament, way before... and also before I met Princess Rosalina, in that picture over there-" He gestured to the fourth photograph. "-but that's irrelevant. Back to the story now... the Princess had somehow found herself in a hall with Bowser, with him being all set to marry her. I tried to stop it - but only got myself lost in the process in some castle." Luigi laughed again. "Funny, isn't it? Me being me, I even managed to get caught. And that's where my memory ends."

"What?" Snake blurted out incredulously; he momentarily wondered if Luigi was playing a practical joke on him. "I don't understand-"

"I was brainwashed." Luigi said bluntly, cutting off the soldier's words. "When I next woke up I found myself in the Underwhere, the land of ended games. Where dead people go. I was joined by Mario there, and I thought nothing of where I'd been before the Underwhere all through that journey. The Underwhere was dark... blank... dull and generally not a nice place at all, as you can guess. I won't go into details, that's irrelevant - but when we reached that castle again, things became different." He took a breath and continued. "We fought a man called Count Bleck, real name Blumiere. That was fine enough. But then after he lay on the ground, begging for us for a mercy killing, another villain appeared. A jester by the name of Dimentio. He-" Luigi faltered for a moment, looking nervous at even the mention of the name. "-well... I must admit that I hated everything about him from the start even though I didn't even know _why_. I just felt that I knew him from somewhere. It turned out that sometime before I woke up in the Underwhere, he planted this on my head."

Luigi scrabbled around in his overall pockets, bringing out a small dried-up sprout. It looked just like any other sprout on earth. Snake blinked, missing a beat - planting a sprout on someone's head? Was that even possible?

"How can that be?"

"This isn't any old sprout. It's a Floro Sprout - it allows for the one who planted the seed onto another to control that person. Think of it as simillar to the sprouts you get on your head when you enter the Negative Zone."

Snake considered this carefully. Sure, those sprouts didn't actually enable Luigi to control the Smashers, but they certainly stopped them from doing anything properly. "Go on."

"I don't know exactly where he got them from. Those sprouts are normally used only by the Floro Sapiens as a form of mind-control but it's not for human use. But either way, Dimentio managed to get hold of one and plant it in my mind whilst I was brainwashed, not knowing whether I was coming or going, where I was, or even _who_ I was. I didn't know all this at the time of battle - all I knew was one name that popped into my mind when the Floro Seed sprouted." He paused, biting his lip delicately.

"Mr. L."

Snake glanced quickly at the photo on the bed. "You're telling me... that you became this person? And controlled?"

"Precisely. When I was captured in Count Bleck's castle, and underwent some brainwashing, I was no longer Luigi. I was Mr. L. Someone who was silent. Anonymous. Loyal and dangerous. And Dimentio used that to his advantage, merged with me and made me attack my allies... Mario, the Princess... the people I love. I still don't remember all the details of when I was Mr. L, and for a long time I thought that I never would. And that would have been much better, because I wouldn't have had to live with memories of people I've hurt, all the things I've done under control..."

"But now?"

"A few months ago, shortly before the tournament..." Here Luigi no longer looked thoughtful, but his face had become stony and distant, and Snake could see that he was back in his past with his memories once more. "...I began having dreams. Dreams of Dimentio and the Chaos Heart. It started with one nightmare, where he came and taunted me for a while... but I could have still forgotten about that if not for the next thing that happened." Snake kept silent. "And - oh, forgive me... I must be boring you, Snake, with those details-"

"Go on." The mercenary stated. "He didn't... physically hurt you, did he?"

Luigi smiled sadly. "He good as well did. Dimentio... he told me that I was the ideal host for the entity known as the Chaos Heart. Count Bleck awoke it before all the mess happened. When handled in the right way, it has the potential to destroy the entire universe. I thought that it had been destroyed when Mario and the others fought Dimentio."

"But I was wrong."

"The Chaos Heart was still alive inside me. He forced me to _feel_ it. That's the only truth that he ever spoke in that nightmare - I could endure everything else, but not that fact. I woke up with a pain in my chest and then I knew it was real." He closed his eyes for a moment, rubbing his temples lightly. "Every now and then, he comes back... says the same things over and over again... and always makes me feel the Chaos Heart. The first nightmare was a few months ago, as I've said, but I've been having them often now."

"Just one thing, Luigi." Snake interrupted, looking highly disturbed by this point. "You still didn't tell me where you got this photograph from. You can't have known when this was taken or who took it."

"Ah." The green-clad plumber looked up at the dusty ceiling, staying silent for a while before he answered. "I only returned once to that world after the final battle. That was after the nightmare. I'd gone to try to calm myself down somewhat, to go get myself some comfort. You see, there was a town in that world divided into two 'sides' - Flipside and Flopside. They are mirror images with Flipside being the happier one. Flopside just looks really broken and dilapidated. Anyway, I visited Flopside that time... and I met the Count's assistant there on the third floor. Her name was Nastasia, and she was responsible for turning me into Mr. L in the first place." Luigi fiddled with the sheets, not noticing how alert, how sharp the soldier's expression had become.

"I don't blame her, Snake... I _can't_ blame her. I remember when she cried because Count Bleck was gone. It's hard to be angry at her. And she did apologize for the Mr. L incident after all. When I asked her what I was like during that time, she merely gave me that photograph and refused to tell me anything else." He stopped and laughed again, his voice flat and bland. "Spared me the details, I suppose. I looked at the photo once and it was enough to make the memories flood back. At first I remembered only a few tiny details, like what clothes I wore, what I did in my spare time, what my position as a henchman of the Count meant to others... and ever since then, I keep on remembering snippets. Never a large amount in one go, but in snapshots. It's still enough for me to piece together what roughly happened."

"And was it enough to make you like this?" Snake inquired quietly in a monotone. Luigi's flat smile disappeared, and was replaced with the very same haunted look that he'd had in the photograph of Mr. L.

"This isn't the only time that I was suspected of being secretive and questionable in nature." The green-clad plumber replied just as quietly. "A couple of years ago, me and Mario came across the Star Gate while on one of our adventures. It let Mario through - because his heart was virtuous and pure. Anyone with half an eye could see that. He was true, courageous... everything that I _wasn't_."

Snake drew in a sharp breath. "Luigi, don't say such things, you know they aren't true-"

"The Star Gate never lies." Luigi continued on as if he hadn't heard. "It said that... I was... questionable. My mind was muddled to such a point that even the Star Gate could not comprehend it properly. But although it put it in a neutral way, I knew that 'questionable' really meant 'darkness'. It sensed so much... darkness inside me. Mr. L was just a personification of that."

The younger Mario brother bent his head, his gaze distant, lips barely moving. "And... and I can't make it go away, Snake. I just can't. Now that Mr. L's been brought out, I can't suppress anything. And there are still some nights when I wake up not knowing what I've been doing. What if I... I end up hurting someone, Snake? What if I... I don't know... end up _killing_ someone? Like Mario in his sleep? Or you? Or anyone?" His voice was growing louder. "When that happens... this time I won't be able to go back! Ever! Not like this! When that happens I'll go down to the Underwhere again... and... and... I can't go there, I _can't_, not again! What if there really isn't anything for the dead people? What if the Underwhere is truly nothing but eternal darkness?" He was starting to breath in a erratic, uneven manner again, eyes wide and scared. "What if it's all... cold and dark and _lonely_ down there... I won't even... I won't even _have_ Mario or anyone with me..."

"Luigi, _stop it_!" Snake broke through his frantic mutterings, shaking the other by his shoulders. "You're not weak, Luigi. You _aren't_ going to give in and kill anyone. Do you hear me? You're Luigi! No one else! Just Luigi!"

"I tried so hard to forget it. To pretend that all this never happened. Never existed. That I'm pure and all myself." Luigi murmured, his eyes dull and haunted. He pressed himself onto Snake's chest, but stayed there loosely, his gaze bland and unseeing. "But it's no use. It always comes back. Every time I look at myself, Mr. L is always there, laughing and mocking me. He comes out like I did a few minutes back and takes control of my senses. And whenever I feel the Chaos Heart... It hurts, Snake. It actually _physically_ hurts. I've wanted to go back and put everything right again, so that nothing wrong would have happened." He closed his eyes. "But it comes back. It _always_ comes back. And I can do nothing about it."

* * *

_God, what the hell am I doing..._

Snake sighed and rubbed his hand against his forehead, feeling tired and disoriented. What was he doing here? This mansion wasn't even _his_. As it was permanently night in the Mansion, he couldn't believe that it was only one o'clock in the afternoon; he felt incredibly exhausted and in need of rest. Luigi slept behind him, lying on his bed; somehow he had managed to persuade Luigi into sleeping it all off. Somehow he had managed to get Luigi back in his own room. And somehow he had managed to tell Luigi that everything was going to be fine.

Who was he to say such things? Luigi must have kept this one hidden inside all the time. He could talk about Brooklyn and their mother with Mario, or to Snake, and feel at least a little relieved and safe. But this time, it made no difference whether he told it to anyone or not, because Luigi would still be stuck with two different versions of himself within his mind. Snake couldn't do anything for that. And nor could Mario. He looked back at the younger Mario brother, vaguely wondering what other things in his mind he was keeping from everyone; Luigi hadn't cried during the whole exchange, but his face was still pale, and from time to time his lips twitched in a pained grimace. It would be glaringly obvious when they got back later.

Mario knew this. He had to. Surely he, of all people, knew what Luigi had to go through every now and then. Snake wondered how many times this had happened whilst in the hotel, and how many times Luigi had hidden it all from the Smashers, pretending he was perfectly fine, all the while fighting with a pain he could possibly not get rid of. While he was contemplating this, Luigi let out a low, pained moan behind him; the mercenary bent down and held a glass of water to his lips, holding his head up as he helped the younger Mario brother drink a few sips. Luigi subconsciously turned his head away when he'd had enough, and Snake gently lowered him down again, putting the glass aside and returning to his silent contemplation.

The mercenary had a sudden, strong urge to punch something. He looked around for a spare Sandbag anywhere that he could use; there was nothing remotely like such nearby, perhaps because Luigi considered those little bags 'too cute' to beat up. He would never punch a Sandbag unless he absolutely had to, although he was constantly assured that that was what they were for.

Snake sighed and looked back at Luigi again, tucking the covers around the limp form. He brushed a hand over the other's forehead, feeling the beaded sweat on the smooth skin, and withdrew.

"Luigi..." He muttered quietly. "...I'm only saying this because you're asleep, right? It's so that you won't judge me. I know I sound selfish. But I... well..." He trailed off, and resumed his speech again. "You aren't the only one who almost ended up murdering your friends and family. And you'll always remain as Luigi to me, not Mr. L. In fact I probably went one step further... considering how many I did kill... A few years back, I killed someone - a mercenary just like I am. Nothing new there. Her name was Sniper Wolf and I fought with her twice before killing her for good. But it turned out that Otacon... he... had a crush on her. I found out much too late. It was a wonder he didn't hate me after that. Otacon's unlucky in love, you know... I keep on thinking maybe it was partly my fault. And there was all the mess with Meryl and the others..." Snake sighed once more, deliberately ending on a vague note. This wasn't something he wanted to discuss openly, not even with Luigi sleeping next to him, and he almost regretted bringing out the subject.

"... Just... don't listen to me, all right? Forget about it... don't listen to me..."


	20. 20: First Meeting

**Author's Note:** Ahh. A breath of fresh air. I wrote this one faster, I think, because it's something new. There isn't any Snake and Luigi in this chapter, but contains the two Captains that I love muchly. They make the strangest, yet a good duo. Olimar is one of my mains - he's actually quite good when mastered, and of course there is very little that provides competition for the Falcon Punch. I love those two almost as much as I love the Snake and Luigi duo. Prettyfulness.

Yes, Snake and Luigi are on holiday. With a cardboard box full of kittens. They will return in a couple of chapters, or less.

I normally keep away from the Story Mode of Brawl, the Subspace Emissary, because I don't want to mess up the storyline with my own version of events. I would rather keep to the game version and comprehend everything as it happened. So this chapter is a small departure from that rule, because this takes place in the Subspace - when the two Captains first meet. Think of it as a trip down memory lane, as it doesn't fit into my main storyline of this collection. It's my take on what roughly happened; however, this isn't canon and shouldn't be considered as such.

On with the chapter.

* * *

"Falcon... PUNCH!"

Captain Olimar blinked, hastily taking a few steps backwards. He'd been in a middle of a crisis, having come face to face with a gigantic robot that had killed well over half of his Pikmin army with one single swipe. The Pikmin were creatures that he had to protect; they were his followers - his children, almost, and he had a duty to protect them no matter what. Olimar had considered running away with the rest of the Pikmin and trying to find somewhere to hide. He hadn't much idea whether this strange new world had creatures roaming around at night, but he had to try to save them nonetheless.

...And out of nowhere, a strange man had come flying out and floored the giant robot with one single punch.

Killing off all but one Pikmin in the process.

_...That's one scary person._

As a single leaf twirled by in the breeze, Captain Olimar and the red Pikmin stood side-by-side, staring at the man.

* * *

_D-damn it, what do I do now..._

Captain Falcon stood frozen in the midst of his somewhat awkward pose, not daring to move. All he'd seen was a small man, presumably one of his fellow Smashers, trying to fight a robot more than five times his size. So he'd went and helped - and had killed off the creatures that he assumed were the associates of that small man in the process.

It wasn't really his fault, to be perfectly honest - he hadn't expected them to be killed in just that one slide.

_They're too fragile... how can he possibly survive this world with only them to fight? _Captain Falcon looked over slowly at the small form behind him. The man was seriously too small, too short; he simply didn't look strong enough to survive in such a harsh environment. He felt his protective instincts kicking in almost instantly. He was going to have to protect this Smasher any way he could. After all, he was responsible for the destruction of those little creatures.

Captain Falcon lowered his arms, and walked over slowly to the Smasher. The latter seemed to flinch away and shrink down in fright; to compensate for this, he knelt down to make himself less threatening, and extended a hand towards the man gently to show him that he meant no harm.

"...Falcon." He said quietly, summing up his intentions in one word. Olimar briefly flinched away from the hand - even though it was truly just a hand, with his size it was still a large appendage. But he soon picked up the courage and grasped Falcon's index finger, returning the handshake. "You... are a Smasher, I presume?"

Olimar nodded, looking down, a nervous blush on his face.

"Shy?" Falcon asked. Olimar shook his head, but the increasing redness of his face betrayed his feelings. "I... I apologize... I didn't mean to kill those creatures... say, what's your name?" The F-Zero pilot felt more and more guilty as the onesided conversation carried on.

"...Olimar." The small man replied in a small voice, barely louder than a squeak; but it was the first reply that Falcon had received, and that was a good sign.

"Olimar." He repeated, getting used to the name. "And you were invited to this world as well... welcome. It seems that Master Hand made it tougher than usual."

"Ah, yes..." The other replied absent-mindedly; he wasn't concentrating on the conversation, his mind too muddled with thoughts of the Pikmin. He'd been invited as a Smasher, so he'd even decided to return to that strange planet and brought over exactly one hundred Pikmin. And ninety-nine of them were now dead. He didn't suppose there were any pellets or Onions in this world - he'd have to return to his planet somehow and bring over more, because he couldn't fight otherwise. Was there a way to contact Master Hand here? The giant Hand had left him in this place... without any means of contact whatsoever. Olimar knew, inwardly, that he was going to have to go on anyway. But could he really make it? In this hostile world? And with only _one_ red Pikmin standing by him...

The little Captain mindlessly patted the red Pikmin's leaf as he contemplated this. Seeing this, Falcon cleared his throat and broke the uncomfortable silence.

"Ah... is that your... associate? Or fellow fighter?"

"Yes." Olimar nodded. "They're called Pikmin." As if on cue, the red Pikmin let out a small squeak.

"...God, I'm so, _so_ sorry..."

"It's all right. It was an accident." The Hocotatian replied, still feeling rather nervous yet unwilling to upset this man. "So... what do you plan to do next?"

Captain Falcon looked over the horizon, glad that the other seemed at least a little willing to talk to him. "I will continue on. Nothing else left for me to do, I suppose, because we're all meant to finish our course and join up with the others. And what will _you_ do?" He asked back, looking once again at this small fragile man worriedly. "Are you sure you can carry on?"

"I can't fight without the Pikmin, but I've still got one left." Olimar patted the red creature on the leaf again, seeing it change into a flowerbud. The sight gave him a bit more strength - this Pikmin was still fragile, but definitely capable of more tough work than the leaf Pikmin. "I'm going to carry on."

Captain Falcon immediately protested this decision. "You can't hope to survive here with only one Pikmin! I don't know why, but this time the enemies are purely focused on targeting Smashers and nothing else. It's as if they were _made_ to kill. If you're going, I'll come along with-"

"No, it's all right!" The little Captain said hastily, already taking a step backwards. "I - I'm going alone!" As much as he didn't like admitting it, he was _scared_ of Captain Falcon. It was quite obvious that this man was a veteran, much more experienced and tougher than he was, and Olimar was worried that he would be a nuisance; and besides, if he accompanied such a strong, tall man, how could he possibly guarantee the last Pikmin's safety?

Falcon tilted his his head to the side. "And why do you insist? Surely it must be better to have multiple allies than none at all?"

"... I'm not... used to fighting with allies." The Hocotatian answered, looking to the side somewhat nervously. "It's always been me, and the Pikmin alone. I don't think I can possibly fight along with another person." Of course, he had omitted Louie from this little explanation. However, Louie was still capable of handling Pikmin like he did, and had a seperate whistle and commands. And most importantly, Louie was just about the same size as Olimar. Falcon was a completely different matter.

"Is that the only reason?" Falcon laughed softly, not in an unkind way; he bent down again, smiling at the other. "Smashers are fine as long as they stay together. It's not about constantly pinpointing the other person's position. Fight freely."

"But-"

"... I suppose... you're still wary about me? In case I kill the last Pikmin?"

"..."

Olimar hadn't intended to let his emotions show. He was admittedly quite good at a poker face, but Falcon was still more sensitive to emotions of every kind and picked up on how the little Captain was feeling. Of course he would be frightened. Scared. _Afraid_. After all, all things considered, he was more than twice Olimar's size, had killed off over fifty Pikmin in one single slide, and had effectively doomed the Hocotatian. He felt responsible for Olimar's safety and well-being, and besides he was liking him more and more. However, the little Captain hadn't noticed this, as he was standing with his head bent and his face flushed with embarrassment.

Falcon had got it right, spot-on.

"Is that it?"

Olimar had to give an answer; he was being prompted, and he very reluctantly opened his mouth.

"...I suppose so, yes." Falcon nodded at this answer, looking serious. "I said this before, but without the Pikmin I can't do anything. I want to avoid... anything that might kill the Pikmin."

_Not to mention that I am actually scared of you, if I may say so._

As if by instinct, Olimar hugged the red Pikmin close and stared broodingly into thin air. The little creature chirped and snuggled into his arms. But all at once, all that changed as the little Captain was lifted effortlessly into the air.

"...!"

The Hocotatian caught on quick, and struggled in vain, letting out a panicked yelp. Falcon had decided in a very spontaneous manner to literally bring the other man closer to his view, and was holding him up close to his face, lips curving in a small smile as he watched the other struggle. Olimar was hugging the Pikmin with both hands, so he couldn't free himself; not even waving around his legs and twisting himself around helped.

"What - what do you think you're doing! Let me down!"

"...You really think you can make it by yourself and just one Pikmin?"

"Of - of course!" Olimar spluttered. Captain Falcon said nothing, but gazed at his face calmly; the little man turned his head away in fear that his thoughts would be revealed. This strange man seemed to have an uncanny way of reading people's minds, whether human or non-human.

"I'll ask you again." Falcon repeated himself slowly. "Do you _really_ think that you can survive, all by yourself and with only one Pikmin?"

Olimar let out a resigned sigh, drooping. "...No. I suspect not."

"Then let me accompany-"

"Look, I'm _frightened_ of you!" Olimar finally blurted out. Falcon blinked, taken aback - so hadn't the issue of the dead Pikmin the only problem the little Captain had with him? "You're taller, much stronger, and much more experienced in combat than I am. In fact, if you felt like it, you could crush me now as easily as anything - it'd just be like twisting a baby's arm off, nothing more! Don't you realize that?"

In this situation, this statement was indeed a very convincing one. Falcon could not deny that this was true - he could kill Olimar with his bare hands right now if he wanted to.

"Ah... indeed. You've made a good point." He replied in the positive, as if nothing mattered. But it was true, and he couldn't well pretend otherwise. "But of course I can't ever think of killing you, and despite how fragile the Pikmin is, I'm willing to be careful and still do my best..."

Olimar was thinking. Falcon had killed off the Pikmin, yes, but something about him told the little Captain that he meant no harm to anyone. It was also a relief to find someone who would talk to him, eye-to-eye, who would look straight at him and make conversation with complete seriousness. Perhaps he was, indeed, trustworthy.

But could he _really_ trust this man so easily? And what about the dead Pikmin? As if it had noticed this complicated mix of emotions within its master's mind, the red Pikmin hopped out of his grasp and began sliding along one of Captain Falcon's arms.

"C... careful!" Olimar cried, suddenly deathly afraid; what if the Pikmin fell down? He wouldn't have been worried had the creature been one of the yellow ones, because they had stronger resistance and could land relatively safely after a long jump. He probably wouldn't have been worried either if the Pikmin had been purple. But this one was a red Pikmin, and at this height...

All those thoughts took him only two seconds to comprehend. Meanwhile, the red Pikmin had safely arrived on Falcon's right shoulder, and began squeaking at him while the other listened carefully.

"Hmmm? Okay... yeah..." Captain Falcon listened for about five seconds and then began nodding and smiling as if he understood Pikmin speech. The little Captain watched, with a unfathomable look on his face; was this man simply daft, after all? He _did_ seem a few pellets short of an Onion, and his apparent 'conversation' with the Pikmin made him feel rather stupefied. He just watched, feeling more and more confused at the little exchange.

"We're enough, you say? I get you. Leave it to me!" Captain Falcon suddenly smiled; it was such an incredibly dazzling, ladies-man kind of smile that the little Captain quite forgot to be afraid. "Olimar! The Pikmin said that he thinks that we're more than enough for a team. He said that I could come along... if I protect you both throughout the whole journey! And surely I can't refuse such an offer, can I?"

"... What the..."

"It really said that! It's true."

Without really realizing it, Captain Olimar's eyes opened wide, almost bugging out in surprise. Falcon gasped in shock, stumbling backwards and almost dropping Olimar and the Pikmin; the red creature had been startled by the sudden movement, and clung tightly to his clothes with its tiny little hands.

"Wow..." The tall man murmured, sounding awed. "You... can _open_ your eyes, Olimar?"

"That's not the point! What I want to say is... can you really communicate with the Pikmin? I mean, I command them everywhere but even I can't understand them!"

The F-Zero pilot blinked. "Well, not really... I 'm afraid that I don't know myself."

"Is that so? Then ask again - I need to know his intentions-"

Wait.

_What?_

"You... you don't know? But how can you talk to him if that's the case!" What particularly disturbed the Hocotatian was that Captain Falcon had pinpointed all his suspicions and worries, assuring him that nothing bad would happen. No mind-reader, no matter how good they were, could delve that deep into someone's mind, so he had to assume that the other had indeed received some kind of an indication towards his emotions from somewhere. And that source would be the Pikmin. Yet how could he possibly talk to the creature? Olimar knew that he himself definitely couldn't, even after years of spending life with them and studying them. So why should Falcon be able to, who had been exposed to this creature for about roughly ten minutes?

"It seemed like the Pikmin said that." Was the only answer that the tall man could give him. He looked throughly baffled at Olimar's sudden interest at his apparent 'exchange' with the Pikmin. "That was all, Olimar. It seemed like it."

"But that's impossible-"

"Well, look." The pilot gestured towards the red creature, who had managed to climb down safely and was looking curiously at his golden boots, poking them with two tiny hands and looking completely fascinated at his own reflection in the shiny surface. Captain Olimar had to reconsider his opinion about the other man at this relavation; the Pikmin seemed comfortable and relaxed in his presence, despite the enormous height difference, and it had not seemed like a lie when Falcon had said that he had talked to the creature.

So if he confirmed it for himself...

"... Is it really all right? To trust him..." He murmured, and reached his hand out in the Pikmin's direction. The little creature looked up, tilted his head towards one side, letting a soft chirp; the bud on his head quickly blossomed into a flower, showing the little Captain his answer.

"Heheh... that's a definite reply you have there, Olimar!" Captain Falcon laughed, his tone friendly and kind - and then the other Captain had to smile also. It would take a bit of time to adjust to this strange Smasher, but Olimar could deal with it.

Yes, he could.

"You smiled! You _finally_ smiled!" The pilot exclaimed, still laughing. "I must admit, that smile suits you so much better. Keep it up." He paused for a while, shielding his eyes against the sun, pinpointing their location and the direction they should be going in. "Shall we depart now?"

"We should. But before that..." Captain Olimar shifted slightly as the other began walking at a steady pace, the Pikmin following closely at his heels. "...um... could you... actually let me down, please?"

"Eh... I could, I suppose." Captain Falcon replied idly, his lips curving into one of his trademark smiles. "But wouldn't you agree that it's safer up on my shoulder? Don't worry, you're very light. And besides, my shoulders are _amazing_ - seriously, I could balance a plate of drinks on those things-"

"Oh, do stop messing around!"

But Olimar didn't lose his smile.


	21. 21: Guardian

**Author's Note:** Oh God... I just realized with this chapter that the Falcon-Olimar duo is quite hard to write in a fluffy, friendly manner. I mean... their anatomical differences... any wrong move that Falcon makes would technically end up crushing Olimar. So their interactions are quite limited.

...At least with Snake and Luigi either one can actually cope with carrying each other.

Hope this one isn't too depressing. It shouldn't be - the tragedy depicted here happens like every day in a certain game. And it's relatively fluffy in the face of doom. This is the last Subspace-related oneshot, by the way. Next one will probably be back in the hotel, with either the Falcon-Olimar duo or Meta Knight and Jigglypuff. Fun times. xD

* * *

"Oh, man... surely there can't be _more_..."

Captain Falcon shook his head and lightly squeezed his hands in turn, trying to soothe them. Sure, he was a good fighter with his bare hands, but this time he, too, was feeling the strain. He had to do everything to prepare himself for any other enemy that might suddenly charge at them. But his primary concern was not for himself - it was for Captain Olimar, fighting alongside him. At first, when he'd heard about the other's fighting methods, he couldn't really give a compliment for it; if he alone used the Pikmin to fight for him, that was almost like slavery, wasn't it?

However, a few hours into the battle, he was reconsidering his opinion.

The Pikmin was not a slave. That was the initial obvious fact that he'd observed. Olimar gave the red creature a choice, to follow him or to wander away, and the creature chose the former. It did not even _have_ to follow either of the Captains, yet was doing so by free will. Secondly, Olimar was not using the Pikmin to fight; in fact, he was protecting it with all his might. He would fling himself onto an enemy creature and attack that way, or use a headbutt to push something away from them both, but neither of those attacks were very effective.

Falcon determined that the area was safe enough to rest in, at least for a little while. He sat down, along with the little Captain, trying to regain his breath.

"... Why don't you fight with the Pikmin?"

"Were you watching me?"

The F-Zero pilot nodded. "Nothing too special. I was wondering how you and Pikmin would fight along - I've never seen it before."

Olimar took a deep breath and then exhaled again, eyes closing tiredly. "... It wasn't a situation that required the Pikmin."

"Is that so?"

Captain Falcon knew that the other was lying. Olimar's body was covered in bruises, his suit torn and split in many places. The tall man had watched him during the last few hours - Olimar had insisted on protecting the Pikmin any way he could, and even when the attack was an easily avoidable one, he would take the blow if it was in the Pikmin's way. Falcon had watched this repeat_ ad infinitum _for the last few hours, and he could not help but grow increasingly worried about the other man as time had passed by.

"This isn't anything." The Hocotatian murmured, stroking the red creature on its flower. "My suit will be repaired by tomorrow. The bruises will heal also by tomorrow morning. It may all end up as mere scars and bruises on my body, Falcon... but it's fatal for the Pikmin."

"That makes it sound like that the Pikmin gets in your way more than anything else."

"We're in a strange new world where we have to fight to survive." Olimar turned his exhausted eyes towards the pilot, smiling weakly. "The fact that I still have this one with me... is enough. I can't bear thinking of another Pikmin extinction..."

_...And considering this Pikmin actually helped me to trust you..._

He shuddered, and closed his mouth, indicating that he wanted no more discussion on the subject. Captain Falcon, being a sensitive and rather kind soul, did not press him any further.

"Anyway, shouldn't we be getting a move on now-" But Falcon never finished his sentence, as he faltered and stared at the other man. The Pikmin had suddenly begun panicking and was clinging tightly to its master's leg, while Olimar was slowly backing away from the pilot with a look of terror on his face. "Olimar? What's going on?"

"F-Falcon! Behind you!" Olimar cried out.

Captain Falcon looked around sharply, only to duck down again and roll himself out of harm's way half a second later; a group of five R.O.B.s had snuck up to them whilst they were talking, and one of them had fired a beam towards the pilot (fortunately missing him). "R.O.B squad! Damn it, why now...! Olimar! Their eyes are their weaknesses! Strike there when they aren't firing anything at you!" Without waiting for a reply, he dashed straight into the leading R.O.B.'s path and pulled back his arm, preparing for an attack.

"Falcon... PUNCH!"

With a tremendous sound of breaking glass and metal crumpling, the R.O.B. flew backwards and crashed onto the ground, breaking into various scattered pieces as it made contact with the surface. It bleeped weakly and then was still, soon fading away into nothing. The remaining four robots beeped, stopping for a moment, reassessing the situation to determine whether it was worth attacking the two Smashers again or not.

"Well, that's one." The pilot muttered, doing a nimble backflip to land back where he had come from. He was feeling fine - there weren't many of those robots, and despite being taken by surprise, he hadn't taken any hits. He took a deep breath and dashed forwards again.

But Olimar was having a _very_ different time. He was tired, and his muscles ached, screaming for rest; with his jumping and running skills, he could not hope to attack one R.O.B., let alone four. With his low jumping skills, he wouldn't be even able to reach the eyes of those robots to at least tackle them.

_I just can't do this... I can't burden Falcon any more..._

Making a subconscious choice, his hand automatically grabbed the Pikmin by its stalk, preparing to throw it onto a R.O.B. - but when he looked around, there were none left. Olimar blinked, bewildered; but quite a way away from him, the F-Zero pilot landed neatly and stared at his surroundings.

"Eh... what-?"

"What... they're gone already? That was too easy..." Falcon stated aloud, suspicion obvious in his tone. "Don't let your guard down, Olimar!"

"Wow, you caught them all, Falcon!"

"_All_!" The tall Captain exclaimed, flailing around to look at the other Smasher. "I didn't! I've only caught four out of five - Olimar, behind you!"

When Olimar turned around, the last remaining R.O.B. stood its guard, beeping angrily at the two Smashers. But instead of feeling afraid, all the little Captain felt was a sense of relief; he had finally gotten a chance to use his Pikmin! This robot seemed smaller than the others, and besides there was only one of it. If he could throw the red creature over there and defeat it, it would be a job well done. He immediately took aim, and with complete, trained accuracy threw the Pikmin onto the robot's visor. It let out a chirp as it flew through the air, and safely landed on the R.O.B., starting to beat it with its fists.

And what was more, it was _winning_.

"Wow..." Captain Falcon had momentarily panicked and had tried to run forward, but after seeing this he stopped and relaxed his body, instead watching the Pikmin fight. Even though there was only one of it, it was still doing a wonderfully good job - glass smashed, and the robot was rendered sightless, helplessly whirling its upper torso about. He watched, fascinated at the sight. The Pikmin were not to be underestimated, after all.

"Come back!" Captain Olimar called, sharply blowing on the whistle. The red Pikmin obediently hopped off and began scurrying back to its master, leaving the dazed and confused robot behind; Olimar briefly looked back at Falcon, who looked completely enthralled and wordlessly flashed him a thumbs-up. Smiling lightly, the Hocotatian turned towards the Pikmin - it was only a few yards away, it would be by his side soon -

...But he had completely miscalculated the situation.

Behind the red creature, a figure was slowly rising up from the ground; it was the R.O.B., not fully destroyed and now little more than a killing machine. That Pikmin had not defeated it; and now that it was enraged, the Pikmin's speed was no match for the robot's. And the latter was surely targeting-

"Pikmin!" Olimar shouted, and began to run towards the red creature, only one thought flashing in his mind: _I've got to save this Pikmin! It's the only hope I've got!_

"Olimar!" Captain Falcon yelled, sprinting at full speed after the little Captain. "_Olimar, no_! Stand back!" Even if the Hocotatian met with the Pikmin halfway and started sprinting back with it, the R.O.B. would still catch up with them and unleash some kind of attack. And in its angered, violent state, Falcon had very little idea what the force of that attack would be like - but it would surely kill them both. The Pikmin was frail, and Olimar was much too injured to take another serious beating.

But despite his best efforts, the little Captain appeared to have not heard him, and continued running towards the last Pikmin, even though he inwardly knew that it was hopeless. He would never reach that creature, not with those legs and the speed of the attack that the R.O.B. was capable of...

"Damn it!" Falcon's cry was lost as the robot fired a missile into the air, a red spot marking the place where it would fall. It was directly above the Pikmin's head; Olimar tried to snatch it away from the target spot, but then one of his legs was grabbed and pulled back with an enormous force. The little man cried out at the sudden, tight grip; but Falcon took no notice and grabbed the other in his arms, shielding his face from the outside view and putting a hand over his helmet.

...So that he wouldn't be blinded by the flash as the missile hit the ground.

...So that he wouldn't be able to see the cruel, senseless demise that the last Pikmin met.

"_No_...!" Olimar screamed, sounding heartbroken and desperate. He clawed at the other's arms, but they were simply too tight around him. Wincing at the bright light, Captain Falcon dashed towards the R.O.B. and jumped up in the air, still holding Olimar tight.

"Falcon Kick!"

That alone was enough. The robot fell over backwards, now shattered into scraps of metal, and faded away without a trace.

* * *

When both of the Captains had recovered from the attack, night had fallen and all was still. Captain Falcon sat up straight, rubbing his head lightly, wincing; however, this was more of a lively reaction than Captain Olimar's, who simply sat on the ground and stared straight ahead.

"Olimar... if we don't get a move on now... there's a station nearby where we can rest..."

"If you're going, go by yourself, Falcon... I'm... finished..." Olimar whispered, closing his eyes and his head drooping. His hand mindlessly brushed the burnt and blackened surface of the ground, where the Pikmin had met its demise a few hours ago. "I can't fight anymore... now that I really don't have anything to fight with..."

Feeling torn inside, Falcon approached the little man and sat down close by. He would never, _never_ abandon Olimar in a place like this-

"I..."

The Hocotatian turned towards the tall man, his voice suddenly taking on a resentful tone. "Why... did you help me... and only me..." Captain Falcon blinked, lost for words.

"Without the Pikmin, I'm nothing but a weak, plain being! I'll die soon anyway... I - I'd have preferred to die along with the Pikmin whilst fighting!"

_What am I saying? Olimar, get a grip on yourself! _His mind screamed, but he was way past listening.

"It's your fault!" He cried, no longer aware of what he was saying, every word tasting bitter in his mouth. "I've lost all one hundred of my Pikmin and it's your fault! If only... you'd...!" Falcon flinched away from the poisonous words, and looked down, unable to meet the other's gaze. The very fact that a Pikmin extinction had occurred was driving Olimar crazed with anger and regret, and his mind dug up a memory deep within his subconscious that really hadn't to do with anything.

_Stop it! Falcon, stop me, please, anyone-_ But one poisonous word followed another, and he was about to blurt out something even worse.

"Even when we'd first met-"

"I'm sorry." Captain Falcon cut through his words, bending down and hugging the other close. He meant it too - the little man could feel the other's intense gaze, and merely trembled in his embrace, already regretting his words.

"Why..." He whispered.

"... Why are _you_ apologizing...!"

Captain Olimar raised his head, eyes half open, an expression of absolute shame on his face. He was crying; but not because of sadness.

Hadn't Falcon held him back, he would have died along with the Pikmin. Simple as that. If he hadn't been acting along with the tall man, he probably wouldn't even had a chance to attack at all. And what was more, if Falcon had never turned up in the first place, he would have never come this far, because he probably would have been killed in the struggle with that giant robot.

He knew it. He knew it too well.

That Pikmin had been targeted simply because he had underestimated the R.O.B's size and power. Even at first, when Falcon had first came to him, if he had lured the Pikmin away with the whistle to a safe place, none of them would have died.

It had all been _his_ fault, not Falcon's.

But Olimar couldn't stop hating himself, for relying too much on Falcon all this time, being stupid enough to sacrifice his only Pikmin, and even going as far as to insult and blame this man who had done so much for him. All those emotions came jumbled out in tears.

"Olimar..."

Falcon actually hadn't expected tears from the little Captain's part, and felt rather bewildered at this display of emotion. But he pulled Olimar up so that he was sitting on his knees, trying to calm him down; the other didn't resist at all, and merely stayed there, tears still trickling down his cheeks. His ears were drooping also.

_How do I deal with this..._

"Olimar, I..."

"You've helped me out... so many times... and I've done nothing but blame you for everything..." Captain Olimar murmured in a barely audible voice, but in the silence of the night Falcon could still hear every word. He gently patted the other on the shoulder, easing him from his guilt.

"It doesn't matter." He murmured quietly, and wrapped Olimar in a soft embrace. The Hocotatian had been feeling completely exhausted and cold, so the body heat of the other helped him to relax somewhat. His shoulders hunched over, and the tears he'd been holding back finally began flowing again. He kept on sobbing quietly into Falcon's chest, clinging on to him tightly. Seeing this only made Falcon more determined to protect this Smasher.

_I want to protect him... I'll protect him in every way I can..._

* * *

Captain Falcon awoke in the night, eyes sliding open tiredly as he gazed blankly up above.

"Mmm... what the..." He murmured, his words blurring together; he didn't really know much at this stage, only registering the warmth of the little Captain in his arms. He sat up groggily, still clutching Olimar, wondering why the whole place had suddenly gone quiet. He was sensitive to things like this; it may well be an indication that something bad was going to happen.

A cackle suddenly cut through the air, and a white bird about the size of a swan with rainbow-tipped wings fluttered down next to him, eyeing the two Smashers. Falcon froze in place; the bird was an Auroro, an enemy that constantly followed people around pecking at their heads - and wouldn't stop until they left its territory, or the birds were either scared off or killed. They weren't a major enemy - in fact more annoying than threatening - but Olimar was asleep and Falcon had just awoken. The latter shakily picked up a stone, throwing it at the bird; the Auroro squawked and flew upwards, soon quietening down enough to settle above the trees. The pilot followed its path, gazing carefully at its general direction.

What he saw brought a chill down his back.

"Get... get away from us..." Falcon slurred; his speech was unclear and he couldn't think straight, having awoken so suddenly. But he had to get away in any way he could. A group of Auroros - not just one, but an entire group - had found them in the middle of the night, and they cackled unpleasantly at the two Smashers down below. Olimar was much too exhausted to awaken, and Falcon was off guard.

Easy targets. Too easy, in fact.

Captain Falcon cried out and dodged sharply as a bird dived straight down, narrowly missing his chest. It stuck itself onto the ground, drilling into the loamy earth, its wings flapping uselessly as it tried to free itself; Falcon let a breath of relief, held Olimar close and stood up, glancing quickly around at the surroundings. Nothing but forest and endless amounts of trees surrounded them, and he briefly lost his bearings, feeling confused. He wasn't used to acting and fighting immediately after waking up, which impaired his judgement. He glanced down at the still-stuck bird, and briefly considered chucking it up at the remaining Auroros above. Those birds didn't have a very good sense of direction, nor very good eyesight for that matter, so the possibility of throwing one up to scatter and confuse the entire group was very tempting.

However, when he looked down at the sleeping Olimar in his arms, he decided against it. If he indeed threw the stuck bird up there, it would surely anger the Auroros. He didn't want that. The best thing he could do now was to run to the station which was about a mile away from this place, where they would be provided with shelter, some food and means of communication to Master Hand. Roughly pinpointing the direction of the station, he took a deep breath and began to run, clutching Olimar tightly to his body.

What happened next was a blur.

Falcon was aware that all the Auroros flapped their wings and began chasing after them with great speed; he was a fast runner, but there was only one of him and several of those birds. He cried out sharply, batting the sharp beaks away as they nipped at his body and helmet; one tore a large gash down his shoulder, the other down his right thigh, but he didn't stop running. If he stopped now, he would be torn to shreds. And he still had Olimar to think about...

"Olimar...!" He whispered through gritted teeth, glancing down at the Smasher. The little Captain had simply gone through too much strain that day to take any more, and was still asleep; this didn't particularly concern or otherwise worry Falcon too much, as at least he would be spared this horror. And besides, those birds were getting tired and falling behind, maybe he could overrun them-

"_Ahh_-!" He briefly stumbled, throwing his head backwards and grasping his forehead; an Auroro had flown in front of him, and had slammed its beak onto his head with such force that it knocked the Captain's helmet clear off and shattered the visor. He had kept his eyes tightly shut at the moment of impact, so no bits of fiberglass entered his eyes - but with his helmet now off, he was vulnerable as anything. He kept on running, now deathly afraid of what would happen, but it wasn't long before the bird had overtaken him again.

"N-no..." He whispered, backing away as the Auroro let out a shriek of glee and hovered just in front of him, flapping its wings in a threatening gesture. It was about to strike him, and presumably stick him onto a tree and drill into his body just the way they always did. "... _No_...!"

He glanced at Olimar, and then back into the bird's demonic red eyes. He could take the pain, he wasn't afraid of dying. But when he thought of the little Captain, sudden fear danced in his body; how could the man hope to survive, with no Pikmin and no more fellow Smashers? Even if he survived the Auroros by lying still, he would have to make his own way through this world, and the station was still so far, so far away-

Suddenly feeling enraged and frustrated, he dashed forwards, grabbed the still-hovering Auroro by its neck and threw it violently upwards, hearing it squeak pitifully as it slammed into several of its own kind and finally struck a tree, vanishing into thin air. This apparently seemed to shock the other birds into flying away; they hovered above for a few minutes, and then began flying back to where they'd come from, deciding that Captain Falcon was too much to handle. The pilot watched the birds fly away until they faded into the distance - and then sank down heavily, suddenly feeling terribly exhausted.

"... My God..." He murmured. "... Olimar...?"

No answer.

Falcon pulled the little Captain close to him, and shielded their bodies from the outside world by hiding behind a large rock and piling some plants and grass around them. Feeling a lot more safe in the makeshift sanctuary, he examined his wounds and felt his forehead, wincing as a hot, dark red, sticky substance came off on his fingers.

"I'm bleeding, oh God, I'm _bleeding_..." He whispered, panicking despite his usual calmness. He quickly wiped his fingers on the ground, smearing the blood over the grass - it wasn't a great way of cleansing himself, but at least the blood was off his hands and that was enough right now. The adrenaline still pumped through his body, and he was still breathing heavily, unable to shake off the feeling of dread. This wasn't right - he was the Captain Falcon, the F-Zero Champion, who so many people feared. And here he was, sheltering behind a rock and completely frightened out of his wits; the unexpected attack had turned him into a normal, plain human being again, instead of a godlike hero. Falcon looked around blearily for his helmet - that would maintain the illusion that he was fine, as it concealed most his face, but couldn't see it anywhere. It must have rolled away while he was struggling with the Auroro, and he did run a fair distance after he'd had it knocked off initially after all. It wouldn't be much use now anyway, because the visor was shattered.

But Olimar was safe, and that was all that mattered.

"Heh... I'm glad..." Captain Falcon murmured, weakly patting the other man's shoulder and sliding down the rock to lie flat on the ground. Whereas his rush of adrenaline had begun to fade, fatigue was settling in. "I'm... glad... you're safe..."

And then everything was black.

* * *

Another morning brightened, and Captain Olimar opened his eyes, rubbing at them blearily. He knew that there was still tear stains on his face, and his eyes felt sore and swollen; it was lucky that he was a Hocotatian, because this normally did not show unless their eyes bugged out.

"... Falcon?" He called softly, looking around. Funny... this didn't seem like the place he'd fallen asleep in originally... this place was darker and more shaded, and covered with more trees. There was even a large rock at the side. He looked down at himself, seeing that the previously-torn spacesuit was mended and his body felt fine. He guessed that the bruises had healed by this time - he would have to pinpoint the time between getting hurt and healing to between eight and eleven hours in this place. Enough for a good long sleep from a Smasher's part.

This whole, twisted crazy little world heal them every day so they could fight again and be even more battered. Olimar grimaced at the irony and looked around again, now confused. Where was Captain Falcon? Had he gone to look for food, or something else... or had he simply abandoned the little Captain here? He wouldn't be too surprised if that was the case, considering he'd given the pilot a horrible time prior to falling asleep.

And then he saw him.

A strange man was lying on the ground, completely out of it. Olimar flinched for a second, wondering whether he had been kidnapped; but then he saw the golden boots and the deep blue outfit of the man, and realized that he was actually Captain Falcon.

But what had happened? His helmet was gone, and his clothes were stained with red at the shoulder and thighs. Two large gashes had torn into his body, marking the skin; even his forehead was smeared with blood. But what struck Olimar most was how _normal_ Captain Falcon actually looked. His hair was black, his features bold, well-defined and sharp (yet ever so world-weary) and he had one long scar down his left eyebrow. He looked surprisingly young - not young as a man in his twenties, but definitely younger than the Hocotatian in such terms.

This wasn't the face of a fighter. This wasn't even the face of a racer, despite how little Olimar knew about racing - no, Falcon was just a normal, fine man who had gone through too much hardships for his own good. That was all. The man's features were softened in sleep, although the little Captain could still see a hint of a pained grimace; he wasn't moving, and he didn't appear to breathe.

They'd been attacked. That was the only conclusion that the little Captain could come up with. They had been attacked in the night, Falcon had fled with him and he hadn't noticed.

Olimar reached out a shaking hand and touched the other's hand, trying to feel a pulse. This was where he'd made a serious mistake; Olimar had quite forgotten that he was dealing with a human, not a Hocotatian. The latter's pulses could be felt on the fingers and the back of their hands, because they were the most sensitive, delicate parts of their body. But humans were different. He only realized this much too late - and when he couldn't feel Falcon's pulse beating, he immediately assumed that the tall, strong man was dead.

What else could he assume? Olimar was a bit too small and weak to clamber over the man's chest in order to check for breathing, his clothes and wounds hadn't healed, and he couldn't feel his pulse. In the little Captain's still-exhausted, heartbroken state, that was all that he could conclude.

"Falcon, you're an idiot." He muttered, sniffing. "You should have woken me up! If it really was this bad, you could have just left me and saved yourself - I've been nothing but a burden, why did you-" His words faded away, and he pounded one fist uselessly against the other's body, knowing fully well that his blows were too weak to have an effect; but he could think of nothing else to do.

"I... I haven't even... apologized to you..." Olimar choked out. He fiercely wiped at his tears, trying to pretend that he wouldn't cry - he couldn't, not again. The death of the last Pikmin had weakened his heart, and even Falcon was gone... and it was only his second day in this place.

This was pure hell.

He wanted to shout at Falcon, command him to wake up and talk to him, tell him what they were going to do next. He wanted to see the other's dazzling, bright cheerful smile once more. He had only known the pilot for one single day, had mistrusted him for most of that time - but now that he was gone, Olimar realized just how much he'd really relied on this man. And no, he could _not_ be angry at Falcon, no matter how much he tried to feel like it. To Olimar, Falcon's face was too calm, still too noble even in death, and he could do nothing but bite his lip and close his eyes tightly, trying to stop the tears from coming.

But then he felt something heavy press onto his helmet with gentle force, and looked up, to see the other Captain smiling softly at him and patting his head.

"Olimar...?" Falcon whispered, no resentment in his voice. "... Why are you crying?"

"Falcon!" The Hocotatian cried, running to his side in disbelief. "You're... you're alive! But how-"

"Of course I'm alive." Grinned the pilot, his familiar smile lighting up his face. "This racer will never die! What made you think that?"

"You'd bled a lot and I couldn't feel your pulse... were we attacked in the night?" Captain Olimar regretted saying this almost instantly, as Falcon felt for his wrist and put a finger there. Of course! Falcon was human, not Hocotatian. Their pulse locations were different. But the pilot hardly seemed to notice, and dropped his arms again, wincing lightly. But that didn't last long - after the moment of pain, Captain Falcon heaved himself up on one arm, managing to lean against the rock and sit up straight. He sighed deeply, closing his eyes - he was still rather tired, and it showed all too plainly.

"Are... are you all right?"

Falcon winced again, but shook his head and stayed still. "A bit sore and aching, but that's what's expected of us." He replied. "And yes, we were attacked. By a group of Auroros. I hate those things. One of them just knocked my helmet off while I was running and I've had to leave it where it fell. It's probably lost in the forest now."

Olimar grasped the other's index finger with his hand, still fighting back tears. "I'm sorry..."

"What for?" Falcon asked, his voice gentle; he patted Olimar's head again. "Auroros weren't your doing. You were asleep and I didn't want to wake you, so I ran. Simple as that. And I haven't healed yet because it hasn't been very long since I was injured. There's nothing to be sorry about, Olimar."

"But I was horrible to you yesterday," The Hocotatian blurted out. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say those things, Falcon... I'm so, so sorry..." Captain Falcon's face softened, and he gently put one large - by the other's standards - hand onto his shoulder, squeezing it tightly.

"Look at me."

Captain Olimar looked at him, and noticed how kind and serene the pilot's face really was; his eyes were a soft gentle brown, which was a direct contrast to the powerful, strong image that the Captain had presented initially. The first impression of the tall racer had made it difficult for Olimar to trust him - but now that he was actually seeing Falcon in his normal, _human_ self, he was finding it easier to believe in this man.

"I know I'm a strong man. I know that I may be intimidating to you." The pilot said quietly. "But I... want you to trust me, Olimar. With or without the Pikmin. I promised myself last night that I'll protect you at all costs - we're both going to survive. I want you to know that. We're both going to get out of here alive. I know it's hell, Olimar-" He sighed. "-but hey, it's only hell if there truly is no one to keep you company and be close to you. Your trust is all I want."

Olimar looked at the pilot, really looked at him. His expression was gently smiling, his eyes truthful; those eyes that promised so much were gazing straight at him, and the little Captain nodded.

"I trust you, Falcon." It was the first time he'd really said it out loud, and they both knew that he meant it. Captain Falcon nodded back gratefully and leaned against the rock again, inhaling and exhaling at regular intervals, trying to ease the pain.

"But you should have woken me." The Hocotatian murmured. "You really ought to have done that. I was so shocked when I woke up this morning, I didn't realize..."

"Nah." Falcon grinned happily, his eyes twinkling. "You were too cute to wake up in a situation like that." Olimar blushed a deep red at this, and bent his head, but didn't protest.

There was silence for a while.

"...Now."

The racer opened his eyes and looked at the Hocotatian. "What shall we do now, Olimar?"

Captain Olimar thought over this question for a minute. "If I really don't find myself some Pikmin now, I'm in trouble. I can't fight without them. As you can see, my suit has repaired... but I highly doubt that I'll be able to withstand the enemy attacks relying only on the nightly repairs. I should think that we must make our way to the station you were talking about, and find a way to contact Master Hand somehow."

"Hmm." Falcon nodded, agreeing with this idea. "I've been thinking over it for a while, but the Pikmin..."

"Yes?"

"... Is it... an animal? I mean... like a pet?"

"No." Olimar shook his head, bemused. He had expected this question, of course, but it was still quite an amusing one. "I don't know the exact details myself, but there is an entity that seeds them on the ground when you feed it nutritions and things called 'pellets'. I call those things 'Onions' because that's what it looks like."

"So it's like a plant?"

"That's right." Olimar turned to the ground and looked for a bare patch where there were no plants. "You just reach down - and pluck them out like this-" He bent down and grasped his hand around an imaginary stem, pulling it in a gesture.

And all of a sudden, a little blue Pikmin popped free with a welcoming squeak, its plump body freed from the soil.

"When you pull out the Pikmin it will be one of six colours- eh- _what_?" The little Captain cried out, his muddled head finally catching up with the unexpected reality; he looked at the Pikmin, perfectly whole and alive in his hands, and then back at Falcon, totally confused and somewhat disturbed.

"That's... a Pikmin?"

"It's... a Pikmin..." Olimar repeated blankly, still staring at the blue creature. Interpreting the situation, he quickly glanced at the bare patch of ground, where nothing was to be seen. "How can it be! There wasn't anything there! There isn't even a blade of grass growing in this patch, let alone Pikmin sprouts!"

Captain Falcon looked on, his expression awed. "I was watching too. It seemed like the Pikmin... came from nowhere."

Well, there was still one open-mouthed little Pikmin there, no matter believable or not. Olimar set down the creature at his feet and reached for another part of the ground, closing his hands carefully around thin air. There was definitely nothing there, absolutely nothing - but when he felt carefully, he could make out the outline of a familiar something. It was a Pikmin all right; he had picked out hundreds, thousands of them out with those very hands. It was unmistakable. When he tugged, another Pikmin popped free, this one white with red eyes that kept quiet and looked shrewdly at the Hocotatian.

"How can this be?" Olimar asked again, dropping the white Pikmin gently alongside its blue companion. "Are those... invisible or something?"

"Don't think so." Captain Falcon muttered, feeling for the outline of the creatures and trying to pull one up with a similar tug. "I can't _feel _one, let alone pull them up."

"So it really is just me who can do this... can I do this anywhere?" The little Captain reached out in various spots, his skilled hands picking out those creatures every time, one by one, each emitting a little greeting squeal. He pulled up his sixth and tried to pull up another Pikmin, only to find that this time he couldn't grasp anything. "Six is the limit, hmm..." He glanced down at his hands thoughtfully. Six Pikmin wasn't many... but then he was trying to attack and fight with them, not carry objects. With the size of the enemies here, they were enough.

Falcon, who had been watching this silently, opened his mouth. "So it's all right, then?"

"Six is more than enough. I won't need to go back to my home world if I can just do this!"

"Good." The pilot smiled again, standing up straight and dusting himself off. "Shall we go then, Olimar?"

"But your helmet..."

"I can get another one at the station, I should think. They fix up all kinds of things there." Captain Falcon laughed, and then began walking lightly towards in the direction of the station, keeping his pace steady to let Captain Olimar catch up. The latter followed closely, a bright smile on his face, the six Pikmin obediently scurrying along on his heels.

"Falcon?"

"Hmm?"

Olimar looked up, a grin making its way onto his lips. "... Thanks. For everything."

The racer returned the grin, and bent down for a second to pat the other's helmet gently. "No problem."

It was a nice, fine day out.


	22. 22: Snowy Day

**Author's Note:** Oh my God what the hell happened here this has no plot arrrrgh

And Christ. What a creative title. 'Snowy Day'. I must be running out of titles - bad sign, bad sign...

I was trying to write something coherent... but in casual settings... I'm sorry, I just can't write Captain Falcon and Olimar in those settings. I just can't.

Captain Falcon is a nice guy in my fics... if a bit flirtatious and crazy at times. But he isn't selfish. He's not an arrogant little bastard. He isn't even an arrogant_ tall _bastard. In fact, he's _not_ a bastard at all. I like my Falcon as a nice guy. Heehee.

This is a bit back in time when all the mess with Luigi and Mr. L has not yet happened. But after the kittens. Yes, it's almost the end of the tournament. Doesn't stop me churning out cracky stuff about the Smashers, though. (Grins) Next chapter will be Meta Knight x Jigglypuff. I promise that. And then I will return to Snake and Luigi.

* * *

It had been snowing on and off that morning.

Captain Olimar hummed as he took a cup of cappuccino to a table in the corner, taking a whole tin of sugar along with him; everyone in the bar was simply too busy eating and talking amongst themselves to notice the little man's strange behaviour. He jumped lightly up to a seat, reached over to the tin and began energetically spooning sugar into his coffee. Now there was a reason for this apparently childish act - Hocotatians had a very sweet tooth, and the sugar in this world was about five times weaker than the sugar over in Hocotate. Olimar himself was no exception to this characteristic, although he did consider himself relatively normal compared to most people. The President of Hocotate Freight Company enjoyed his sweets a bit too much, and Louie liked to try out various sugary snacks in addition to his new recipes. All of this was perfectly normal to Olimar, but could horrify some people over in the hotel.

As a certain racer was about to find out.

"Hey." Captain Falcon sat down opposite the little man, and without any kind of warning whatsoever picked up Olimar's cup of coffee for himself. "Ah, thank you... Just a sip, if you don't mind-"

"F-_Falcon_!" Olimar cried out as the tall pilot put the cup to his lips. "Don't go around stealing other people's coffee!"

The other took no notice, however, and mindlessly took a sip; but the moment he did so, his eyes widened and he quickly put the cup down, grimacing.

"...!"

Olimar quickly took the cup back from the other man's side of the table, and hastily resumed stirring the sugar, which was still swirling around the bottom of the cup. "I did warn you..." He sighed, taking a small gulp of the (dreadfully) sweet coffee. It sure seemed a great way to wake Captain Falcon up, as the pilot was still gasping and pressing his neck, trying to ease the intense sweetness coating his throat.

"You... don't tell me you're actually _that_ sweet-toothed... God, just how many spoons of sugar did you put in that thing?" He gasped out, gazing disbelievingly at Olimar.

"That isn't relavant. Hocotatians are used to this kind of thing. I'm drinking this _bitter_ in terms of Hocotatian coffee." The little Captain replied, his tone even and calm. "The sugar in this world isn't sweet enough for my taste, so I have to put in more. That's it."

The pilot exhaled, wiping his brow. "Man... that's just strange... I like my sugars and chocolate myself, but that really is too much!"

"Well, you're the one who stole a sip first." But Olimar wasn't angry; he actually sounded rather amused. Falcon ceased to protest, and merely sat still, tapping the tabletop and glancing around at the breakfast bar. "Who are you looking for?"

"A girl."

"That doesn't help, Falcon."

"Samus." Falcon replied. "Me and Pit were talking yesterday, you see. We usually have extremely contradictory and differing views on things, but Samus is just about the only thing that we agreed on. She's attractive. Haven't you ever thought that?"

Olimar shook his head, indifferent, and took another sip of coffee. "Not really." But the pilot's attention was drawn away from the space captain as he looked across the bar - and found Zero Suit Samus walking along with Pikachu in her arms. In her hand she held a packet of chocolate biscuits. She gave the two captains a cool glance as she walked past - her gaze was somewhat warmer when she'd looked at Olimar, and the F-Zero racer didn't fail to acknowledge this.

"Hey, baby." Falcon called across the table, grinning at the bounty hunter. "Looking hot today, eh? Fancy a date sometime?"

Samus replied with a hard slap to his cheek, and walked away without a word. Olimar watched this exchange without much change in expression, being already too used to things like this happening every morning. Falcon reeled back, his grin still in place, rubbing his cheek.

"You peacock, Falcon. You think every woman in this place is giving you the eye."

"I don't think it, I _know_ it." The F-Zero racer laughed, smiling. "And I don't give up easily either, you know. There's a reason I became F-Zero champion."

The little Captain sighed. "...You're a strange, _strange_ man."

"I know. No one can be exactly like me. Even _I_ have trouble doing it sometimes."

Their little conversation was interrupted when Princess Peach passed by their table. Falcon instantly grinned and winked at her; but she completely ignored this, instead smiling gently at Olimar and stopping for a moment.

"Good morning, Captain Olimar."

"Good morning, Princess Peach." Olimar replied, putting his helmet back on and bowing his head slightly in respect.

"I just wanted to say good luck to your brawl in Green Greens today. Mind you, my dear Captain, Ganondorf isn't in a very nice mood - it's not particularly like he _is _any time of the day, but I just wanted to tell you." Princess Peach bent down and hugged the little Captain for a second, before pulling back again. "Good luck. I will be watching from the spectators' gallery."

"Thank you." Olimar replied politely. The princess nodded, smiled faintly at Captain Falcon for good measure, and then walked away.

"How come you get more girls trying to hug you than _me_?" Falcon asked, sounding genuinely baffled. As if on cue, Nana came up to Olimar and glomped him from behind, causing the little Captain to slump over and directly plant his helmeted head onto the cup of coffee.

"See you in Green Greens, Mr. Olimar!" She chirped happily, and took up her giant wooden hammer, swinging it around dangerously close to various Smashers' faces as she hopped away. The pilot watched, feeling bewildered - since when had Olimar been this popular? The latter had failed to move from his position, and groaned quietly, still half submerged in coffee.

"That was trippy."

"I'm not _interested_," The Hocotatian mumbled, fumbling for a few tissues. He raised his head and mopped his dripping helmet free of cappuccino, cleaning away the foam and chocolate topping. "I keep telling them... they just think that I'm 'cute', not someone to go on a date with. Chance would be a fine thing, with my age! I've even got a wife at home, and children. Never asked for anyone else better."

"A wife?" Falcon asked, suddenly highly interested. "Wait... how... how old are you?"

"Twenty in human years and forty in Hocotatian years. Count the latter as my real age."

Captain Falcon was speechless. Sure, he had known Olimar for months... it was just over a month and a half before the tournament ended and all the Smashers went home. And all this while he had never, never thought about the fact that Olimar might have family back in his world. And he'd never considered the real age of this man either. Forty years old! That was older than the pilot himself! Falcon was thirty-four, older than most Smashers in the hotel - even older than Mario - and yet Olimar was actually in his forties.

_Impossible._

"Good morning, Smashers." Master Hand's voice rang out of the loudspeakers. "For today's first brawl... Captain Olimar, The Ice Climbers, Ganondorf and Jigglypuff... Please get ready for your brawl. Your brawl location is Green Greens. The match will commence in thirty minutes. Please arrive in time, as brawls will be delayed if any Smashers are absent. You shall be alerted via the loudspeakers five minutes prior to your brawl."

"Must leave now, Falcon." Olimar hopped off the chair. "Green Greens is a long walk away with those legs of mine... and I have a Shadow Moses brawl lined up too... Good luck with your brawls!"

"Sure... Good luck..." The pilot murmured in reply, his mind still muddled with various thoughts. As Olimar walked away, humming to himself, Falcon still found it very hard indeed to believe that the space captain could possibly be middle-aged. He mindlessly took Olimar's unfinished (but still warm) coffee and took a large gulp, trying to ease his thoughts a little.

A second later, he ended up spitting out the liquid all over the table and began gagging in a very unattractive manner, while the Smashers around the bar looked at him with disgust.

"Was it just me, or was I expecting him to scream 'Falcon Puke' out in front of everybody before he did that?" Sonic commented idly, watching this with mild interest. "He 'Falcon's everything, doesn't he?"

"Obviously not..." Marth replied blankly opposite his table. "...Sonic, have my biscuit... I've lost my appetite..."

* * *

"Game... set!"

Olimar breathed out heavily as he crashed back onto the ground, his spaceship landing with a huge 'thunk' and then disappearing into thin air. Two Pikmin followed him, one blue and one red, and they looked on, tilting their leaves to the side curiously at the three Smashers now lying on the ground. The blue one clutched at the space captain's leg, but the red one hopped ahead and poked Wolf on the back, hearing him groan out something incomprehensible. "The winner is... Pikmin and Olimar!"

The little Captain smiled brightly, and blew his whistle, calling the red Pikmin back. "Good work." He said softly, kneeling down and patting each of them gently on the head. "You two did well. Thank you."

The three Smashers were getting up now, grumbling and moaning about how they had lost to a man hardly half their size. Wolf cracked his knuckles and muttered something under his breath, Link made his way wordlessly to the door, and the Pokemon Trainer followed sulkingly behind. Olimar watched them leave silently, only looking around once for a sign of the Shadow Moses R.O.B. (who soon wheeled next to him, holding the log).

"A signature, please..."

"Certainly." Captain Olimar found it surprisingly easy to interact with this robot. For a start, they were of roughly the same size, and this one was very polite and kind. All the other Smashers either had to lean down to sign the log or simply to press a paw to the book, in the case that they couldn't write. He signed the log and returned it to the robot, who bowed and rolled out of the arena. "Well, that's it, I suppose. Come on. Let's go."

The Pikmin followed him closely as he walked towards the entrance, which was right opposite where he was. He noted mentally how empty Shadow Moses was - the platforms were made of bare metal, the pillars worn and battered from the previous brawl, and only wooden crates and a single cardboard box adorned the wall. Olimar passed by the walls, looking around only occasionally-

-and stopped, backtracking. What was that box doing here? It seemed upside-down! What use was that? Olimar blinked, glancing at the cardboard box before his eyes widened.

There seemed to be _people_ inside, as he could hear shuffling sounds inside.

And by God, were they _giggling_ in there?

"Snake, that's just not on! Go easy on me, will you-"

"Nah. I like being on top too much, Luigi. So live with it." The mercenary's low voice said, and Olimar flinched. What were they talking about? "Go on. It's your turn."

"As long as you don't take any of mine again." Shuffle. Shuffle. Silence. "There you go... satisfied?"

"Mmm. Thanks for that. Leave yourself open for a nice attack from my part, eh?"

"What? Huh- That's not fair!"

Alright. Olimar was getting _really_ scared now. Yes, he had heard rumours, disturbing rumours about the mercenary and the green-clad plumber, but he'd never thought that he'd actually end up practically walking into them. Should he really be listening to this conversation? He didn't even have the slightest clue what Snake and Luigi were talking about, squashed up in that box, and wasn't sure if he really _wanted_ to know. The little Captain quietly gestured to his Pikmin (who both ran over to him noiselessly) and then picked them up, tiptoeing over to the main entrance.

"Who's there?" Snake suddenly called out, his voice sharp and alert; Captain Olimar 'eep'ed despite himself, and sprinted as best as he could out of the arena, trying to make his little legs go faster. Once he stumbled, but he kept on running, because he had no idea what kind of torture the mercenary would inflict on him if he was ever caught. Eventually he made it out of the arena, and lay outside, panting and gasping.

However, Luigi and Snake had merely lifted up a corner of the box, inquisitively watching the little Captain scurry away and out of the Shadow Moses arena. The younger Mario brother glanced at Snake, his expression slightly confused and curious.

"...Should we have told him that we were playing chess?"

"Nah..."

* * *

"What," Olimar blurted out as he managed to regain his breath somewhat. "the heck was that about?"

The Pikmin stared at him, not understanding why their leader seemed so out of breath and frightened. The red one crept closer by him, tilting its leaf to the side and chirping lightly in a questioning manner; the blue one followed suit, even patting Olimar on the shoulder in an attempt to soothe him gently.

"Thank you..." The Hocotatian muttered, and patted them both on the stalks, smiling lightly as he watched their leaves turn into a flowerbud. Only the Pikmin could ever help him with his panic attacks, because they didn't ask awkward questions nor tried to force any kind of medication into his throat. "My God, that was the scariest experience of my life..."

But the creatures weren't listening to him at the moment; something else had caught their attention. The blue one looked up and squeaked, pointing towards the sky - the red one and Olimar followed its gaze, and was immediately mesmerized.

It had been a snowy morning that day, but the evening weather was clear and crisp just a minute ago. But now, snowflakes were beginning to fall once more, landing on the Hocotatian's helmet and obscuring his view. Yet Olimar couldn't care less; he had never actively _seen_ snow starting to fall all around him whilst in the hotel.

"Wow..." Olimar whispered, removing his helmet to gaze up at the darkening skies above. The glass helmet had been fogging up, so he might as well remove it anyway - that, and the fact that he was completely fascinated by the snowflakes. Hocotate had no snow. Olimar only knew that such a thing existed because he had visited various planets that, indeed, were either permanently snowing or had snowed at the time of his visit. He had never been able to observe snow, but he'd definitely known that it existed. His job back there did introduce him to concepts, ideas and knowledge he could never gain from Hocotate; for the first time, he truly felt grateful that he had such a job waiting for him back at home. And of course... the Pikmin planet had snow. The second time he had visited that planet, with Louie along, there had been thick snow on the ground.

And how were the Pikmin doing? Wouldn't they be cold? Olimar glanced down, but the two creatures seemed relatively at ease, hopping around and peering at the snowflakes gathering on the ground. The blue one scooped up a small amount of snow, squealing happily as it melted into water in its hands. Seeing this, the red Pikmin gently eased itself away from the thicker parts of snow and joined its companion, both now looking up curiously at the sky. They were such wonderful, childlike creatures! Olimar smiled, patted them gently on the stalks, and looked up into the sky once more.

He really ought to go back to the hotel and have some dinner before bed. His head told him that he was quite hungry and the Pikmin needed rest also; but he couldn't help gazing at the snow all around him. The little Captain had never seen snow falling actively, and definitely not contrasted against the darkness of the night. It was, frankly, beautiful. Olimar reached out a hand, and peered close at his palm as the snowflakes fluttered onto it; every one of them was a different shape, yet always keeping to the hexagonal, uniform symmetry. They resembled flowers in the spring, and Olimar couldn't help but think of his home, a thatched cottage with vines and flowers blooming in the early months of the year. The delicate flakes didn't melt easily against the gloves that he wore, and this was something that he was thankful for. It gave him an opportunity to find out more about their unique shape. He turned around so that he was facing the Shadow Moses arena, providing himself a light source. The fragile flakes were brightly illuminated on his palm as soon as he turned around, and he peered closer, highly interested.

"Beautiful..." He whispered, spreading his hands so that he could catch more snowflakes in them. However, he soon decided that he wanted to observe the snow in larger quantities, and in pure form; snow scraped up from the ground wasn't good enough. Olimar turned his helmet around so that the open end was facing the sky, and set it down on the ground so that the snow would collect in it. He managed to keep the helmet in that position by partly burying it in the snow already piled up on the ground. When that was done, he looked to the horizon and sharply blew his whistle, the sound cutting through the air.

"Come back!" He called softly, his breath misting in the chilly air, and opened his arms as the Pikmin ran towards him. They chirped and climbed up to his shoulder with a few hops, making the little Captain laugh merrily; the two creatures soon lay down on the snow, not minding the coldness, and Olimar followed suit to lay back on the ground. He felt content, glad to be part of such a wondrous scenery, and closed his eyes with a smile. He would be able to collect an amount of snow in that helmet, and besides he could now relax and enjoy the view.

He must have been there for a while.

"You're going to get a chill, Olimar!" A voice called him, and the Hocotatian opened his eyes. He was already partly covered with snow, his stomach and shoulders coated in a fine layer of white flakes; and beside him, a familiar male was kneeling by, gazing into his face.

"Falcon? But I thought you didn't have any evening brawls today!"

"I _don't_." Captain Falcon breathed out, sounding relieved. Olimar thought that he'd seen a flash of fear in the other's eyes- "But _you_ did. God, what are you doing out here? Your brawl ended ages ago. I was waiting for you at the hotel, but when you didn't turn up, I thought something had happened..."

Olimar grinned dazedly. "It's nothing, Falcon. I just wanted to observe the snow. That was all. Sorry I worried you."

"Observe the snow," The pilot repeated, sounding faint. "God. You could have at least told me. I was so worried!"

"There isn't any snow back where I come from. It's a chance I might never get again." The little Captain replied as he leaned back comfortably. "And I don't feel the cold with my spacesuit on. So why not?"

Falcon said nothing in reply, but sat down next to Olimar, looking up at the snowflakes and letting his breath out in a pearl-white mist. He wasn't cold; but with the other man's size and metabolism, he had been very, very worried indeed by the potential danger that this kind of weather posed to Olimar. But now that he had found the little Captain quite safe, he felt almost drained by the sheer force of the concern lifting from his mind.

"It's so pretty, isn't it?" Olimar's voice broke his chain of thoughts.

"Snow was a nuisance to me back in the F-Zero tournaments," Falcon answered. "because it was a safety hazard in racing. But now that you're talking about the beauty of it alone... I might just have to agree with you."

"Then agree."

The pilot let out a soft laugh at this short, somewhat-unconcerned comment. "Haughty, aren't you? I haven't quite forgotten how to have fun with snow. Making snow angels... snowmen... snow bunnies... snowball fights... you name it, I've done it all before. Fancy a snowball fight?"

"No thank you." Olimar replied politely. "You'll win after the first snowball, let alone have an entire fight. And besides, how am _I_ going to provide competition for you? Fill your boots with snow? Pelt your legs with snowballs? Pick out four more Pikmin to throw in your general direction and let them fight?"

"Fair point. But there's still more that doesn't involve snow angels or snowballs of any kind."

"Such as?"

"Have you tried this?" Captain Falcon asked, and then did something extremely out of character; he tilted his head back, stuck his tongue out and caught some snowflakes on it. Olimar burst out laughing - Falcon looked so childlike... innocent, almost, and it was a nice change. "Mmm. Tastes nicer than the snow back home."

"Where did you see that?"

"Some children were doing it last Christmas. Looked rather fun, too." Falcon looked back at the other, smiling. "It's nice to be like a little kid once in a while. They know things that we don't, I swear they do."

The little Captain tried it out also, raising his head and sticking out his tongue to catch a few flakes. They tasted... well, like water, but there was something about it that was incomparable to just getting a drink out of a bottle. Besides, he wouldn't be able to do this when he got back to Hocotate, so he might as well experience it now. "We look like children."

"Precisely the point, Olimar. That's why we're doing it."

They stayed in silence for a while, watching the Pikmin frolicking around in the now snow-covered ground. Olimar once blew his whistle to keep them a bit closer, and Falcon leaned forwards, interested by the way the creatures always obeyed the little Captain. They weren't enslaved, and he was certain that they weren't exactly domesticated, but every Pikmin that Olimar had ever pulled up had always followed him until their death and fought for him willingly. Falcon didn't quite understand _why_ the Pikmin followed Olimar and him alone; but he could take a rough guess. They were perhaps fascinated by the way the little Captain's helmet had a stalk-like light on top. He probably resembled a larger, benevolent, much more supernatural version of Pikmin to those creatures. Over time they could have gotten used to seeing Olimar with his helmet off.

But speaking of the helmet... where was it?

"Olimar, where did you leave your helmet?"

"Don't worry about that." The little Captain murmured, not moving. "It's on the ground. But don't go around pushing it or anything. I'm doing this for scientific purposes."

"Collecting snow in it?" Falcon replied, seemingly bemused. He bent down and looked at the upside-down helmet - with a fair deposit of snow within - with some fascination. "It looks a bit like a fishbowl to me. What do you plan to do with the snow anyway?"

"Observe it. I thought the individual snowflakes were so beautiful... it might make a difference to check it in large quantities, you know?" The Hocotatian rolled over, carefully picking up the helmet and then looking inside with a low whistle. The Pikmin gathered around, temporarily tricked by the transparent surface; the blue one tried to get at the snow inside, but only looked puzzled as its hand met with firm glass. Olimar chuckled at this, and picked up the two Pikmin, setting them down gently inside the 'fishbowl'-like object. Falcon watched this, noting the space captain's infinite gentleness when it came to handling those creatures and silently admiring him for it.

"You know, Olimar? The Pikmin do pack quite a punch... but they're actually quite cute." He held out a finger to them, laughing softly as the red Pikmin grasped his index finger and clung to it. "Look, Pikmin footsteps!"

"Cute, aren't they?" Olimar laughed, agreeing wholeheartedly with the taller Captain. Falcon fell flat on his back, gazing up at the now star-speckled sky; and the little Captain followed suit.

"Can we... stay here a little longer?"

"Sure. Would be a shame to waste a pretty night like this."

"Thanks."

"Anything for you, Olimar. Anything for you."


	23. 23: Stargazer

**Author's Note:** My laptop decided to shut down by itself while I was fetching myself some wine, so I had to rewrite the last chunk of this one. Fun times. And this one... I don't know, it just seems really... off somehow. It's not too depressing, I hope, and it's fluffy. I'm going back to Snake and Luigi's storyline in the next chapter. My hands itch to write out what will happen to them.

I can't write heterosexual stuff unless it's psychotic. Jesus Christ, this nearly drove me mental when I found out this fact. And with Meta Knight and Jigglypuff - this is just...

...

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY (dies)

* * *

Jigglypuff was happy.

After two tournaments' worth of being ignored and being called a 'pink puffball', along with Kirby, she had found someone who was willing to listen to her and hold her every time she felt down. That someone was Meta Knight, of course, and she could not be more grateful for his presence in the hotel. Before, she had taken some comfort in the fact that she wasn't the only one who was a 'pink puffball' according to some of the Smashers - but what else more could this notion provide? Kirby was too young to understand then, still too young to understand now, and he didn't care much. Jigglypuff did. So it was an immense relief that Meta Knight had accepted her as a being more than just a pink ball of marshmallow.

She didn't even _like_ marshmallows anyway.

But if there was one thing that Jigglypuff was uneasy about in their relationship, it was the occasional moods that the blue knight got into. She knew that he was a Star Warrior, much more older, much more experienced in combat and had seen a great deal of things in his lifetime. Not all of them were nice things, of course - he had fought battles to the very end, seen his friends and comrades fall around him, and was forced to live with those images forever imprinted into his mind. Meta Knight would sometimes become withdrawn and moody when thinking about those things, and when that happened he would shut himself in his suite, even away from Kirby, and simply refuse to acknowledge that anyone else existed outside. This was an extremely worrying, out-of-character way of doing things and Jigglypuff became very concerned whenever it happened.

Especially when he came out of his room in the mornings and pretended nothing had ever happened, and cheerfully asked her to accompany him to the bar for some breakfast. It just made her unbelievably uneasy. Jigglypuff had known him for months now, but it always occurred to her in those moments that she could never really tell what he was thinking about. His face was always hidden beneath his mask and even his eyes failed to tell her anything much. This was one flaw that Jigglypuff couldn't help but think about when they'd first gotten together; how could she trust and really believe in Meta Knight, when he refused to even reveal his face to her? How was she supposed to know what he felt like at various times? And if she didn't know that, how was even she meant to connect with him?

This particular problem was one thing that she'd found a way around, but it still bothered her. Over the weeks, she had become sensitive to the small, relatively minor changes in the masked knight's voice and behaviour. He gave away more in those small changes of voice, manner, or ways of speaking than he ever did with posture alone. Meta Knight remained stoic, silent, mostly emotionless and calm on the outside - but the Pokemon would often be able to identify otherwise. This gave her an advantage; she would know exactly how to cheer him up when he was down, much to his surprise, and would also know when he wanted to be left alone. Jigglypuff knew only too many instances when a relationship grew stony and cold and eventually break apart simply because the female partner wouldn't leave her significant other be. She didn't want that to happen with her and Meta Knight. She cared too much for that. But the fact that he would never let his expressions show, not even in private, was not something that the Pokemon was happy about. Sure, she appreciated the fair amount of mysteriousness and secrecy that surrounded their relationship due to his mask and behaviour, but couldn't he be at least a bit... open with her? He was honest and virtuous, yes, but couldn't he at least look at her, face to face, without that mask in the way?

The pink Pokemon drifted around her suite, occasionally rolling around yet still managing to think at the same time. She had never voiced those concerns to her 'boyfriend' - partly because she didn't want to be seen as insensitive, and partly because she didn't quite dare. There was still so much that Jigglypuff didn't know about the blue knight's personality, and she didn't know how he would react. Besides, she was a peacemaker. If her knight was satisfied with the way things currently were, that's the way it would stay. She was happy now, and that problem didn't tarnish her affection towards him in the slightest.

All she wanted was to be happy.

That wasn't too much to be asking, was it?

* * *

"It's a beautiful night, isn't it?"

"It is." Jigglypuff agreed, shifting around so she was snuggled up against Meta Knight. He had called her out to Halberd that night, for stargazing and private conversation time; during those times they would discuss aspects of their life that they could never voice out aloud in public, such as the relationships between other Smashers and how wonderful they thought the other was. He seemed at ease tonight- "And the moon isn't out, so it's the perfect night to stargaze."

"You're right." The knight laughed, a soft deep sound that sent a pleasant shiver up her spine. "The moon can be distracting. And it's a winter night - we should be able to see Cassiopeia..." He trailed off as he squinted into the sky, searching for a constellation. "...and there you go! Look to the north sky."

The Pokemon followed his direction, and gazed towards where his finger was pointing. "Where is it? Is it that..."

"You're looking at the Ursa Minor, Jigglypuff. See there... that W-shaped cluster..." The knight traced the pattern in the sky, aiding his 'girlfriend' to find the Cassiopeia.

"Oh yes, I see it now!" The pink Pokemon squealed as she fixed her gaze towards the constellation. "...It's a perfect W-shape. Has it been that way for thousands of years?"

Meta Knight laughed again, rubbing his head. "I daresay it has been like that. But as far as I know... those stars are actually hundreds of light years apart. The W-shape is probably just there because our own imagination compels it so. Most of those constellations resemble nothing like what they're meant to represent. Look at the Ursa Minor... or the Ursa Major." Jigglypuff turned her gaze away and then glanced at the right part of the sky. "They're meant to represent two bears. But they don't look like bears, do they?"

"Resembles two sets of cooking ladles, more like."

"Exactly." The blue knight looked up at the sky again. "Cassiopeia's my favourite constellation. It's meant to represent a W-shaped queen and it looks like a W. I like the simplicity of it."

"I like the stars too, Meta. I mean by themselves, not necessarily in a constellation." The Pokemon gazed at Meta Knight, taking her large blue eyes off the star patterns. "Have you ever flown past a famous one? If you have, what did it look like?"

"I've flown past Betelguese and Polaris." Came the reply. "Betelguese... you know where it is, don't you?"

"Near Orion."

"That's right." He smiled in approval. "I didn't really think too much of it, though. It's like the Sun, only more of a red-orange. And it's larger. I didn't particularly notice anything too special about it." He took a deep breath, taking in the cool night air. "But Polaris... ah, Polaris is beautiful. It's a blue star, and it shone so brightly when I was passing by that I couldn't help stopping my Warp Star nearby so that I could observe its surface. It's almost..." The knight thought for a while. "...the surface was sapphire blue. Not blue like I am, but lighter and more sparkling. Kind of like your eyes." Jigglypuff blushed. "If it weren't the northern pole star already, I probably would have insisted on calling it something else and claiming it for my own. But of course, I can't do that."

"What would you have called it?" The Pokemon asked softly.

Meta Knight didn't answer for a while.

"...Oh. It's cold." The pink Pokemon whispered, curling up slightly and putting her small, stumpy arms around herself as best as possible. Meta Knight looked over; and then pulled her close, draping his cape around her form.

"Better?" He asked softly. She nodded.

"...Thank you."

"No problem."

"But what would you have called it, Meta?" She asked again. "A Greek name? Or Latin?

"Marika." He finally replied. "Latin for 'Star of the Sea'. Polaris is fine for me... but if I really had the option to choose the name of that star, I'd have called it Marika. One must remember that in the past, sailors and travellers alike pinpointed north by using that star. It would have saved many, many lives. That's why I like that name."

"Marika..." Jigglypuff tried it out herself, looking at the Pole Star and working it out. "...Marika... I think it's such a pretty name. And the star deserves a beautiful name, wouldn't you agree?"

"Definitely. There's more to the stars than just jewelled patterns in the sky." Meta Knight said softly. He took one of Jigglypuff's hands in his own, and pointed up to the sky with his other hand. "Look, Jigglypuff, sweetheart, look over there."

Jigglypuff could have melted from the unusual, yet beautifully sweet nickname. But she did look over, tilting her head to the side curiously. "It's the Sirius star."

"You're right. The brightest star in the sky. It looks so bright because it's the star that's just about closest to our planet, not counting the Sun." The blue knight explained. "And someday... someday, when my time comes, I'll fly over there and ride on that star. Make it my own. I'll watch over all the galaxies around our world and see all there is to see."

The Pokemon's first initial thought was, "But what if you fall?"

"I won't fall, love. I'll remain up there and watch everything that's going on in the wide, wide universe that I can never see from a Warp Star. And besides... I'll be able to watch all the others from there, wouldn't I? I'll be able to watch Kirby growing up into a Star Warrior, see what Dedede's up to... watch over you and send you my love." He chuckled faintly, his eyes closing halfway.

"I know that I probably won't live another hundred years... I'd like that as an afterlife. Yes, I would."

* * *

Jigglypuff was awake all that night, tossing and turning.

It should have been a romantic, special occasion that night - watching the stars together with Meta Knight and talking together. However, his depressed, somewhat tired mood had given her just the opposite feeling. She'd known that he was older, much older than anyone in the tournament - more than five thousand years old. But his permanently-youthful demeanor had made her quite forget that fact. To be fair, the blue knight was almost ageless to the point that he fitted into almost any community within the tournament, of almost any age. The younger Smashers liked to hang around together with Meta Knight, occasionally going to him for advice. The slightly older ones (like Snake, Captain Falcon and the others) treated him like one of them, yet they all held a degree of respect for the knight in some way.

Jigglypuff had never quite thought about him dying. He was everything to her now, almost the sole reason she was still in this tournament and would hold out until the very end. He was her world, in a way, and she had never felt more secure in her life.

If he was right about his lifespan, it was a hundred years until the end of her world.

But then, would she herself be able to live one hundred years? Wouldn't she die before Meta Knight? She was no great legendary Pokemon, although she knew that some Pokemon could live on for a long, long time indeed; her kind would be able to survive at the most sixty or seventy years, and even that was pushing it far.

And yet her own lifespan hardly mattered to her; it still made little difference if Meta Knight was going to die within the next hundred years. They were going to be separated soon, in just over a month and a half - and how was he going to know whether she was alive or not? They were from very different worlds, weren't they? She could just imagine him, sitting on the surface of a star, his old Warp Star next to him, gazing down at the universe and searching in vain for anyone he knew or loved. She simply didn't want him to die, go chasing after stars, or leave her at all for that matter.

So this really was a dilemma she couldn't solve.

Sighing, she turned over in her bed again. No use losing sleep over this. It wouldn't help.

What she really needed was a good night's sleep - she would think about it in the morning.

This was more easily said than done, however, and for the next hour Jigglypuff tossed and turned, frowning, trying to get to sleep (and miserably failing) until dawn broke.

* * *

The next morning, she went up to Meta Knight directly after breakfast and asked if they could talk in private. The blue knight had been in the midst of trying to polish Galaxia and trying to feed Kirby a Maxim Tomato at the same time, but he'd agreed quickly and they'd both made their way to Halberd, which was thankfully vacant for the moment.

"...What did you want to talk about?"

"Last night. While we were stargazing." Jigglypuff stated with an odd calmness in her voice. "I just... want to say that I don't want you to go chasing stars. Not yet. Not for a long time."

The knight blinked.

"That's not up for me to decide, Jigglypuff. I can't fix the date of my death."

"But I'll miss you, Meta." The Pokemon whispered, tears in her eyes. "I'll miss you too much! What about Kirby? He'll outlive you by hundreds... thousands... maybe millions of years! And what about me?"

Meta Knight sighed quietly, eyes sliding shut behind his mask. "...I don't worry about Kirby. He'll get along perfectly fine and will be greater than I ever was. But I do care about you, Jigglypuff - trust me, when I think of what the future might turn out to be, it depresses me beyond anything. But you have to understand, love..." He sighed again tiredly and looked up at the sky again, his shoulders slumped and his voice melancholy. "...after all the things I've seen, all the hardships I've endured... having a star of my own to ride on doesn't seem too bad."

"Then I'm coming with you." The Pokemon said fiercely, blinking back tears. Meta Knight stared at her, dumbstruck at this sudden announcement. "I don't care if we're from different worlds. I'll find a way somehow so that I can come to Dream Land. It worked for Mario and Sonic, so why not us?"

"Jigglypuff-"

"You're not riding on any star without me and that's final. And don't be depressed, Meta. Please." She pleaded. "I can't bear to think of it. You aren't going to die right now. Maybe in a century, but not now." The Pokemon paused and sighed, knowing that her words so far wouldn't do much to convince him.

"...I really care for you, Meta. I love you. But you sometimes don't make it so easy."

"Why do you love me, Jigglypuff?" Meta Knight asked, his voice unusually soft. He sounded lost, somehow, and confused - but not angry. "I'm not much use at my age... I'm just a knight... too dangerous... too old... I've got next to nothing to give to you."

"Age doesn't matter to me unless you're talking about your death." Came the calm, equally soft reply. "And I don't think you're dangerous. Moody, maybe. But not dangerous. You never hurt me or Kirby, and that good as well proves that you're not a homicidal maniac. But even if you were just a plain being instead of a Star Warrior, and even if you literally had nothing, I would love you just the same... because it's you. Just you. And that's enough for me."

"But what if it doesn't last?" He asked quietly. "And like I said before... if I die within the next hundred years... that's not a very long time, you know."

"It will last." Jigglypuff replied. "You haven't died yet and nor are you close to it, so why worry about your death now? It's right now that matters. And what I want to say now is that-" She briefly stopped talking, biting her lip lightly and averting her gaze. However, she soon looked up once more and met the other's gaze, her eyes unblinking. "-I want you to promise _now_ that you won't talk about leaving this world. I want you to promise _now_ that you won't go chasing after stars when I'm with you, and that you won't go up there without me. That's all I'm asking of you, Meta."

The blue knight was still for a while, comprehending this statement for quite a time. His eyes slid shut, as if he were cursing his apparent lack of ability to say something heartfelt to Jigglypuff; but then he looked up, and did one thing that she had never expected.

He reached up and removed his mask.

"...Me...ta?"

The knight looked surprisingly Kirby-like beneath the mask; he resembled Kirby exactly, with the exception of his eyes and expression, which were firmer and a bit more sharp. But... well...

...he actually looked _cute._

"I promise." Meta Knight whispered, his voice completely serious. He took Jigglypuff's hands in both of his, his grip pleasantly firm and gentle. "I promise... until the end of time..."

And then he kissed her for the first time, his lips touching hers softly, making contact that she had never believed was possible.

_I promise..._ Meta Knight thought inwardly as he grasped her in a gentle hug. _...I'll stay with you, until our time comes... and when that happens, we can both watch over the galaxies together on the Sirius star, if that's what you want. I'd do anything for you._

_...I love you._

At that moment in time, with Meta Knight in her arms...

...Jigglypuff had never been happier.


	24. 24: Confrontation, Part One

**Author's Note:** This is last two-part, depressing chapter. I swear. _I swear_. x.x

This part isn't the dark one. The next one will be, but I promise that it won't ever be as depressing from then on.

Dr. Mario is explored in this chapter. I see him as a wise man, but rather difficult and isolated. After all, if a man in a white overcoat who keeps viruses as a pet throws giant megavitamins at you, would you want to be best friends with him? (I would, but hey) And I love the way he operates. Blue pills kill blue viruses. Red pills kill red viruses. Yellow pills kill yellow viruses. If Dr. Mario actually existed in real life, I would get him to find out what colour AIDS and tuberculosis is. Result: CURED.

His theme tune 'Fever' gets me going in the morning. I can picture him dancing around in his study with his three pet viruses and swinging a cane just like Charlie Chaplin, all the while rocking out to that awesome ragtime tune. Brilliant.

...But anyway. On with the chapter. This will be continued.

* * *

Snake walked down the corridor to the hospital wing - more known as the infirmary to the people who detested the medical practices going on in that place, his hands in his pockets and a dark look on his face. He was completely unaware of the fact that he'd just bumped into a couple of Smashers, knocking them over and provoking tears from one of them. He could care less about the other Smashers at the moment, though, because he only had one goal in mind that morning.

"Dr. Mario?" He called as he walked briskly into the ward, seeing multiple rows of white unoccupied beds - but no one else. The sight of so many hospital beds and the lingering smell of disinfectant made him feel faintly sick; but he pressed on ahead, looking for the Doctor himself. "Dr. Mario? Are you there?"

"Who is it?" A voice called from the little office at the side. Snake made a beeline for the door, and knocked three times, without giving a verbal reply; there was no sound for a while, but then the voice spoke again.

"Come in, my boy, do come in!"

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything?" Snake questioned, but he did turn the doorknob and enter the office. Dr. Mario himself was working at his desk, a mound of paperwork next to him, three of his pet viruses chirping and tugging lightly at his shoelaces; the man chuckled, bent down and guided them towards the little flap on the door.

"Out you go. Come on. Shoo!" But there was no annoyance in his voice - in fact, his usually-toneless voice was tinged with affection. The three viruses (red, blue and yellow) all nodded happily, and hopped towards the door, only stopping once to look at the mercenary with faint interest. But soon they'd all jumped out of the flap, leaving Snake alone with Dr. Mario. The latter swiveled around in his chair to face the mercenary, his expression gently smiling. Snake had to assume that he was glad of having company, as the Doctor was a rather strange and unapproachable figure to many Smashers.

"Good morning, Snake. Do have a seat." Snake nodded and sat down on one of the soft, squashy armchairs. "What brings you here?"

"I wanted to inquire about something, if you don't mind."

"Not at all." The man laughed, and stood up somewhat awkwardly, his hands grasping for a tall, black walking-stick that hung on the side. Once he'd grasped it, he supported his weight upon the walking-stick and walked towards the coffee machine. "Is it related to your health in any way, Snake, or is it about the health of another Smasher? Or were you seeking someone to talk to?"

The mercenary chuckled despite himself. "A mixture between the last two options you gave me, I should say. I'm sure that I'm healthy enough. And besides, I wanted a professional's advice."

"Fair enough." Dr. Mario smiled. "Coffee?"

"Yes please."

"Milk and sugar?"

"Two sugars but no milk." The Doctor nodded and began measuring out the powdered coffee beans, his movements surprisingly smooth and agile for his age. His hands were nimble, accurate and quick, which explained why his surgeries rarely failed. He was humming his ragtime tune under his breath, occasionally adding in a soft, warbling whistle; the Doctor sure seemed very cheerful at the thought of having a companion. Dr. Mario was a very respected, but somewhat isolated figure; Snake knew that he was a veteran fighter, much more powerful and skilled than many of the Smashers in this tournament, but he had refused to participate in the fighting. Instead he'd decided to resume his duties as a doctor and keep an eye on all the Smashers, choosing only to come out of the office to treat his patients. He treated all of them with affection and care - the mercenary remembered the last time he'd been in the ward, when he'd sprained his left wrist whilst brawling with Ike and Bowser. Dr. Mario had been extremely kind to him, even sneaking in certain expensive, but highly effective, ointments to help his wrist heal faster.

But most of the Smashers seemed to find him a difficult person to talk to, as the Doctor often spoke in a rather elaborate, but highly pessimistic and dull manner. He would also say something and say something different the next minute, so that no one ever knew where he was going with his speeches. This contradictory personality was probably why they found him strange and 'best left alone'. Dr. Mario was quite lacking in emotion also when he met people, his facial expression a carefuly crafted mask of blankness, his voice just alike Mario's... but completely toneless. No wonder most couldn't identify with him.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Dr. Mario inquired, leaning over the counter and watching the water boil. But something in his tone indicated that he wasn't looking for an answer; it was more of an icebreaker. The Doctor never tried to investigate or poke his nose into other people's thoughts and business, and therefore would never try to initiate some form of conversation first. Snake smiled quietly, looking somewhat fondly at the other man (humming and tapping his fingers on the countertop again) and wondering about what he normally did while being cooped up in the office by himself. The Doctor, although he resembled Mario and Luigi closely in appearance, was only a distant relative and seldom made contact with them. He was much older than the brothers by at least ten years, which was why they all held a kind of awed respect for him; he would talk to them like an older brother or senior, and never much closer than that. Dr. Mario was a loner, preferring the company of his pet viruses and being surrounded by megavitamins rather than being with people. This was yet another contradictory aspect of his life.

What kind of doctor kept viruses as a pet? And feed them with complete ease?

Other than viruses, Dr. Mario was good with children. Popo and Nana adored him and would often say a cheerful hello when he walked past, a greeting which he returned in a polite and courteous manner. Lucas and Ness liked to hear his stories and learnt most of their advanced vocabulary from the Doctor, and the children were assured that they would be treated with complete gentleness if they somehow ended up in the ward. Although Dr. Mario hardly ever smiled, with the children he would laugh and joke around in a completely normal manner. And finally, he was good with animals. Not even Donkey Kong or Bowser messed about with him, because he never tried to 'understand' them or force them to take unnecessary medication. He treated them with complete respect, and they respected him in return. All was good there. Dr. Mario was a protector, the silent presence that watched over the Smashers with infinite kindness, quite unlike Master Hand and Crazy Hand.

"You're thoughtful this morning, Snake." Dr. Mario sat down opposite him, the clink of the china cup on the coffee table bringing the mercenary back to his surroundings. He looked down at the cup blandly for a second - but then took it up with the saucer, leaning back on the armchair and taking a small sip. "So what are the recent brawl scores?"

"Oh... The top Smasher of the week is Captain Falcon, with Mario and Olimar following closely behind. I'm somewhere along the top ten... seventh, I think? I've tied with Pikachu."

"Indeed." Dr. Mario laughed kindly, his normally-dull eyes bright and inquisitive. "Ahh, if only I could have a training session with one of the Smashers once more... or even participate in a match, hear the audience cheering all around the arena..."

"But why did you decide not to fight? People told me that you were a great fighter - why, much more powerful than most of them!"

"Bless your heart, my boy!" The man laughed again. "Look at my leg - it's been half crippled since five years ago, and I can't fight anymore. So that's why I returned to the medical profession. It's good, and I must admit that I prefer it this way. I'm probably better off looking after people rather than trying to damage them. Besides, I'm forty-five. An old man. I'm not much good else for anyone."

The mercenary looked down, suddenly feeling guilty. Yes, Dr. Mario was an old man now; forty-five was much too old for a Smasher, unless they were gifted with extraordinary powers. The Doctor had none of that. Age and age alone could consume all hopes of a person - Snake had never quite understood, nor tried to understand this concept, but Dr. Mario provided sudden realization for him. He could do nothing for the other man's aging, and besides the latter had accepted this as calmly as anything - but he could do at least something for the Doctor, couldn't he? Like coming to talk and visit him every so often?

"But you didn't come to listen to my own stories. What was it that you wanted to talk about?"

"I..." The mercenary hesitated, feeling mixed up and confused. He felt selfish and guilty for wanting to talk about this, and ignoring Dr. Mario's problems - but he had to know. "I... I wanted to talk about Luigi. Mario's younger brother."

"Luigi..." Dr. Mario sighed over his cup of coffee, his eyes melancholy. "Ah, Luigi... he's such a nice boy... pity, really..."

"Pity?" Snake asked, his voice suddenly sharp and inquiring. He sat up straighter. "...What do you mean by that?"

"What do you know about Luigi, Snake?" The Doctor asked calmly. "I know you are a good friend of his. And Luigi really _is_ too nice and gentle to keep much from his friends. What did he tell you, and what things have you worked out yourself?"

The mercenary drew in a sharp intake of breath. Dr. Mario knew something and he was going to get that information out somehow. "Luigi's twenty-seven years old, Italian but born in Brooklyn-"

"That's not what I asked you." Dr. Mario interrupted gently. "What I want to know is... what do you know about Luigi's state of mind? Or would you prefer not to share your opinion?"

"I'm afraid you're right, Doctor. I just... don't want to." The mercenary said, his sentences coming out in an awkward rush. God, he felt stupid; he'd come to talk about Luigi, and then he found that he actually didn't want to discuss it. "I don't think Luigi's state of mind can be discussed without him present."

Dr. Mario smiled sadly, and took a sip of his coffee. "That's the answer I expected of you. I would have been, quite frankly, surprised if you were actually willing to talk about this. But then... I suppose you do have at least a _little_ knowledge of what's going on in his mind?"

Snake said nothing, but froze in place, gazing at the Doctor.

"Do you know about Mr. L?" The other man continued on. "When you two returned to the hotel at six o'clock two days ago, something about both of you seemed... off, somehow. Luigi looked pale and drawn, so I assumed that he'd had another attack from Mr. L's part - that's why I had to take him aside for questioning. He wouldn't say much, but I got the general implication that he's told you something."

"You're quite right, Doctor." Snake answered, nodding, relieved that the other man had accurately hit upon the subject that he'd wanted to talk about. "Luigi told me about the origins of Mr. L... how he never realized until much later... and how much he feared Mr. L coming back. I've been so worried about him, I can't stand the fact that he might end up hurting himself-"

"I understand, Snake." Dr. Mario said quietly, his gazed fixed on the mercenary. "I understand. When he was first carried here by Mario, tied up and raving, I couldn't believe what had happened to him. Mario was extremely distraught and couldn't get a hold of himself for the next few days, until Luigi had calmed down."

"Tied up? When... when was this?"

"The first week that the tournament began."

"The... the first week?" The soldier cried, suddenly feeling cold and horrified. All his cool, calm demeanor had gone straight out of the window at this realization - he had been right, this _had_ happened from the very beginning... and he'd known nothing about it until two days ago. "Why would Mario tie him up? Luigi's... Luigi's his _brother_, for God's sake!"

"Do you think it's easy for Mario?" The other man said, suddenly sounding rather defensive. Snake stared, quite lost for words. "It isn't. Mario never expected that Luigi would still have those moments in the tournament. Whenever he comes up here, or I go down to their suite to check up on Luigi, I can see that he's suffering as well. After all, as you observed, he's Mario's younger brother. But he has to restrain Luigi because he has to. He doesn't like it any more than his younger brother does."

"Even so..."

Dr. Mario sighed. "Snake, I know that you'll feel bad for Luigi. I do also. But you've got to accept that things doesn't work out nicely only too often. If they did, Luigi wouldn't be plagued with Mr. L's thoughts and idealisms, his nightmares would end, this tournament would go on for a good long time and integrate multiple worlds together... and the world would be a very nice place. But it _isn't_. And never will be."

"What about the Chaos Heart?"

"Similar to Mr. L, I'm afraid. Luigi won't be able to get rid of that as long as he lives." The Doctor answered, closing his eyes. "You see... I suspect that Luigi told you about it. Am I correct?" A nod. "He's had a lot of hardships in his life. And you know how he never gets the attention he deserves, because Mario overshadows him so much. All those feelings have developed into resentment... not necessarily for Mario, but life in general. He believes it's unfair for him. That left a lot of room in his mind for evil and darkness to feast upon, I should think - that's why he was able to survive the Chaos Heart and even host it. A part of him actually seems to _enjoy_ the power that he gains when he has an outburst."

Snake took another sip of his coffee. Now it was quite cold, but he didn't really mind that. "Is there any way that this can stop? Mr. L's still a part of Luigi, right?"

"I'm afraid that's no longer the case. Mr. L and Luigi are completely different entities, although the former was created out of his innermost fears and resentment. That's why Mr. L can hurt him." The man put his nearly-finished cup of coffee down on the coffee table, and sat back, his hands clasped together. "At first Luigi had him under control, because his memory was wiped blank when Dimentio was defeated. But eventually, his memory returned, bit by bit - all starting from that nightmare when Dimentio returned to him."

"So is Dimentio the real reason that Luigi's suffering like this?" Snake asked, his fists subconsciously clenching; if only the damned jester was material and visible! He would tear him apart for what he'd done to Luigi, he would-

Dr. Mario looked sharply around. "Snake, I understand your anger. But Dimentio's safely dead. There is no doubt about that. It's not him who's tormenting Luigi and causing his alter-ego to surface. It's Mr. L himself."

"_What_?"

"You heard me. I've gone through months of counselling with him and psychological research to come to that conclusion. Do you know what circumstances cause Mr. L to come out?

No answer.

"It's only whenever Luigi's frightened, sad or lonely. Unbearably so. Not necessarily when he's hurt or exhausted, because that isn't a feeling of its own; no, his extreme degrees of negative emotion bring his alter-ego to the surface and he can't stop it himself. Mario's never been able to stop him either, because Mr. L has sworn him as an enemy, and any attempts to get Luigi to come back has always resulted in injury. That's why he has to tie Luigi up whenever those outbursts happen, and call me up there, because he can't control him."

"My God." The mercenary murmured, staring into his cup of coffee. He thought about how Luigi had looked during that moment of madness, his wild, dilated pupils, how he'd actually found the green-clad plumber _frightening_ for that short moment. "Is he completely uncontrollable?"

"Ah." Dr. Mario leaned forwards, his gaze now sharper. "That's something I've started thinking about again. I thought Luigi was uncontrollable when Mr. L came out. Mario did too. But when I talked to Luigi yesterday... he told me that this time, the attack only lasted a few minutes or so. Highly unusual, considering that they often last the night until he's completely exhausted. I thought about it and came up with a conclusion, based on who he was with at the time."

"Me?"

"Yes. There's something about you, Snake, that calms Luigi down." Dr. Mario said quietly. "Whenever he hurt Mario during his lapses... and I've observed it too... Luigi laughed. Laughed like a maniac, his eyes glittering, and he would have this flat grin on his face that frightens me whenever I think about it." He shuddered, suddenly looking disturbed and rather ill. "He would never attempt to return back to the old Luigi and only seek to hurt Mario and the others further, because Mr. L hates them and wants to hurt them as much as possible. Maybe even kill them. But what interests me is that when he was with you... when he pushed you away and he saw you getting hurt... Luigi _stopped_. He returned to normal." He looked up at the mercenary's stunned face, his expression now firm. "There's something about you. You could calm Luigi down in a matter of minutes. Mr. L has nothing against you... and besides, Luigi told me that you were the first person who was genuinely nice to him for ages, and that he really cared about you. His guilt over pushing you away may have had something to do with him withdrawing."

"I..."

"Snake, Luigi trusts you. I've seen him in the Melee tournament, the one before this, and he never looked very happy then even if he won a match. But since joining this tournament he's changed, and I believe it's mostly because of you. He cares for you with all his heart. Look after him - help him."

"I don't know how." Snake whispered, sounding lost. He grasped and lowered his head, eyes shut tightly in an agony he could not express. "I don't know how I can. I'm just a mercenary... all I can do well is to hurt people... and I don't want to hurt him, he's suffered enough!"

"Then just hold Luigi." The Doctor answered equally quietly, looking directly into Snake's eyes. The other's gaze faltered for one moment, but then he slowly raised his head, looking at Dr. Mario with a questioning expression. "Hold him. Don't let go and leave him by himself. Ask him what he wants, what he needs, and give it to him. It's for his sake, and yours."

Snake's eyes widened, his mouth opening in protest. "But... but I'll sound pushy! I don't... want to force him into answering if he doesn't want to... and besides how can I ask something like that, just straight in his face-"

"In relationships and friendships, you probably understand that _you_ tend to assume that the other person will like what you're doing by default. But that's all entirely a figment of your imagination, unless you strike lucky and the other really does like and appreciate what you're doing. That's why fights and break-ups happen, Snake, because each one is still thinking in their own terms." He sighed heavily. "...but you have to remember that you have little short of a month-and-half before the tournament ends. You don't have that kind of time. You can't afford to fight, upset or otherwise hurt Luigi more."

"Ask Luigi what he wants, Snake. And give it to him."

* * *

"...Thank you for the coffee, Doctor. And thank for the advice you've given me. It's good to have someone to talk to like this."

"There's no need to thank me, Snake." Dr. Mario shook his head, but he did seem rather touched by the gesture. "Remember what I said and be good to Luigi. Mind you, it's been quite soon since his last outbreak, and I daresay he may be a bit unstable at the present moment - but you'll be fine with him. I know it." A knowing, soft smile appeared on his face, and Snake couldn't help but smile back slightly.

"Good day, Doctor."

"Good day, Snake."

Dr. Mario closed the door behind him with a soft click, and then the mercenary was left alone. He walked down the ward corridor, the sickening lemon scent of the disinfectant making him want to heave; he left as quickly as possible, his mind a mess of thoughts.

_I'll ask Luigi what he wants, or what he needs, just like the Doctor said. That can work. But what if he questions me about my motive? I want him to be happy, but will that be enough of a reason for him? What if he starts doubting me? What will I do? What will I say? What can I do to prevent-_

"Snake."

The mercenary stopped dead on his feet. The voice had called him from the back, but he did not dare turn around; that voice belonged to someone he didn't want to talk to. Should he just walk away? But he'd already stopped, indicating that he'd heard the voice as clearly as anything. He couldn't back away now. Clenching his teeth lightly, he forced himself to turn around, coming face to face with Mario himself.

"Good afternoon, Snake." He said quietly. "A word with you."


	25. 25: Confrontation, Part Two

**Author's Note:** Well, here you go. TL;DR ahead.

I rushed the ending and therefore don't like it much at the present moment. However, I need sleep... and if I hate it in the morning, I'll rewrite some parts of it. It contains a lot of bawwing, shouting, Snake angsting, and lots of OOC-ness in general. But it's not humorous. Far from it.

This is the last really depressing chapter I'm going to write in this collection. Sure, there still will be angst, sadness and anger, but never a whole chapter or two-part devoted to it alone. It will also be Snake's last real proper encounter with Mario.

Bleh, I can't spell at the moment.

* * *

"So..."

_Just why did we come here?_

Mario had somehow managed to drag the mercenary away from the corridors, away from the crowds of Smashers, and they were now standing in front of a hotel suite. It was located on a floor that Snake seldom visited - the fifth floor - and he was about to enter unfamiliar territory. Luigi had been in Snake's suite many times, but because of Mario's constant presence, the mercenary himself had never been inside the brothers' suite before. But he was standing in front of that suite right now; oh, this wasn't going to be good...

"Come in." Mario said quietly. Without Snake noticing, he had swiped the keycard on the door and was holding it open for him to enter. Snake nodded wordlessly, walking slowly inside and closing the door behind him. "I suppose you're wondering what I want to talk about and what's it all got to do with you."

"More wondering about your sudden attitude change, I admit." The mercenary's reply came out sharper and more accusing than intended. Mario flinched, but didn't retaliate or otherwise try to contradict this statement - he would have been mercilessly shot down anyway even if he'd tried to do so. Mario had been extremely hostile and distrusting of Snake before, and the mercenary wasn't about to forget the two arguments they'd had before _that _easily.

But then, why was he here? Why in the brothers' suite out of all places? They could have gone to any old place, or any vacant arena - Green Greens, Warioware. Inc, or even Shadow Moses Island would have been enough. Snake looked around the suite, familiarizing himself with the place.

The suite was rather elaborate, with black wallpaper markings, contrasted to the mercenary's grey, one-colour, bland-looking rooms. There was a small fridge in the corner, a counter with a coffee machine, a wooden bread-bin and a cookie jar. There was a bathroom - standard size - in the far side of the suite, and two bedrooms led out from the main living area. One was furnished with red, the other with green, matching the favourite colours of the occupants. The door to the green bedroom was halfway open, and Snake glanced inside to see that the bed covers, sheets, and even the curtains were made of lush green velvet. The red-clad plumber didn't fail to notice the mercenary's eyes wandering, and narrowed his eyes somewhat, but he didn't protest.

"Good colour scheme." Snake complimented, attempting to break the silence. "Say... where's Luigi?"

Uh-oh.

"Luigi's due in for a battle-royal brawl with Falco, Captain Falcon and Pikachu and plans attend a Classic Brawl as a spectator after that. It's the Intense Challenge he's watching, so he'll be a while." Mario answered quietly, with no obvious change to his tone. "I would rather not have him present in this suite while we talk."

"And what is it that you want to talk about?"

"You." Mario replied, staring directly into Snake's eyes. "And your relationship to my brother."

Snake felt his temper going almost out of control; how dare he do this? How could Mario just set him up here, look at him eye to eye and talk as if nothing of much importance had happened between them? Had the red-clad plumber forgotten the arguments, the resentful, hatred-filled glances, the occasional glares that they had thrown at each other during brawls? And the whole talk was about Luigi, the person who mattered the most in the end, just because he was Mario's brother. He inhaled and exhaled slowly, forcing himself to keep his cool.

"If you're in any way indicating that I have harmed him, either physically or mentally, then I must protest-"

"I'm not saying you harmed Luigi, Snake."

"Well, what then?"

"You... confused him." Mario said quietly, his eyes closed, partly turned away from Snake. "Before he met you, he would never question anything much. He wouldn't think about our parents all the time, nor would he actually show any signs of being sad about them. I know he _was _sad, I know he missed Brooklyn very much indeed - because I felt the same as him. Sometimes I would just open the door and walk out, believing that if I walked along our pathway and down the road I might be able to find that green pipe again to take us home. But... he... he never would voice it, and he had his emotions relatively under control."

"Until you came along."

"You opened his eyes. Exposed him to ideas that he'd hardly thought about before. Luigi's happy with you, I admit that. Happier than I can ever make him by myself." Mario turned around and gave the mercenary a sad smile. "But... but you also made him think about all the sadness we've experienced in the past... and now he can't stop dwelling on it. Especially at Visitors' Day. That brought Mr. L out that night."

"Again?" Snake quickly looked around to see if the door was safely locked and there was no one else about. No one else needed to know about Mr. L - the Smashers would never stop showering Luigi with pity and distrust if they ever knew, and Snake knew all too well that the younger Mario brother would never be able to take the pressure. "Does anyone know about this?"

Mario shook his head, although he still looked unhappy. "Only Dr. Mario, me... and now you. The Princess knows about the outbreaks that sometimes occur, but she doesn't know about that one. And it was a surprisingly quiet transformation, even I say so myself - he just sat there, only pushing me away whenever I tried to go near, and didn't try to attack me at all. Luigi's never looked so depressed before. Dr. Mario had to sedate him nevertheless, because he's so unpredictable."

"How unpredictable? Bad enough that you don't know whether he's going to stand there one second, or lunge at someone with a knife?"

"That was a quite close guess. You don't know how bad those outbreaks are." Mario pulled back a sleeve, right up until his shoulder was revealed, and Snake could see (with a faint kind of horror) that various deep scratches had marked his flesh. The cuts looked quite old - but still ominous, still too visible, and what's more, they were simply too deep to heal. Mario would never lose them even if he lived another century. "Luigi... during his Mr. L attacks... can be extremely violent. It doesn't matter to him what he fights with - he can be so strong that it's unbelievable. Fingernails weren't enough, so he once got a knife from somewhere - I should think the kitchen - and did this a few months ago. Luckily Dr. Mario came to stop him." He chuckled darkly, and let his sleeve drop again. "It reminded me... of how clever and ruthless he can be in such a short amount of time. That wasn't senseless violence. Mr. L had planned it all. And that makes him even more dangerous."

"So he has indeed developed a conscience of his own." Snake noted calmly, but the look of shock was still there.

"Mr. L would be able to completely take over Luigi if given the right conditions and the materials." The red-clad plumber replied. "He's a highly competent mechanic. Able to build robots and various machinery with a few scraps, I daresay - I didn't _know_ Luigi had those powers inside him. It was all so unexpected when I encountered him in that state for the first time."

The soldier tapped his foot, beginning to feel a little impatient. "Are we here to talk about Mr. L, or Luigi? I'd appreciate it if we could focus on the real issue." The truth was that he didn't really feel comfortable talking any more about Luigi's alter-ego. Dr. Mario had told him enough and he didn't want any more repeated details. Mario looked at him for one long while, and then dropped his gaze.

"But that's what I'm talking about when I say you confused him." The red-clad plumber said, his gaze still fixed on the carpet. "Ever since you became his friend... his outbreaks... they've become more severe. More long-lasting. And he began to target me specifically when he became Mr. L, when before he would simply attack any person in the way. Mr. L's targets and whomever he despises is all based on who Luigi doesn't like... so the past few months haven't been good for me at all."

"Are you saying that it's my fault?"

"Partly." Mario replied blankly. "I can't blame you for wanting to know about Luigi and our family history. Anyone would have done the same and you weren't exactly expecting the consequences to be this way. But what I can't stand is that... Luigi has some kind of hate for me and it's grown since he met you. It's obvious."

Mario turned away, his head bent and one hand holding his forehead. "He's always been rather withdrawn, shy, quiet... always in my shadow... I was aware of that and I tried to give him the credit he deserved, but he's never quite received the admiration and support he needs. Either that or I haven't tried enough. But no matter what the reason is, it's still partly my fault... and I knew that he always felt that he was second best."

Snake fixed his gaze upon Mario's back. "And did you do anything about it?"

"I probably didn't do enough."

"I'm not asking if you 'probably' did something enough times or didn't. I'm asking you whether you actively did anything and whether it worked."

Mario sighed. "...I don't know, Snake. I can't-"

The mercenary's suppressed anger, frustration and fury just burst out of him at that moment.

"_Stop going around in circles_!" He shouted, clenching his fists so tightly that he soon recoiled, wincing at the pain. He'd dug bleeding half-moons into his palm, but he soon bit back the pain and looked up at Mario. "_Stop_ making excuses for yourself! Did you do anything to give Luigi what he deserved and needed or did you not? Or did you even _care_? It's a yes-or-no question, for God's sake!" He briefly stopped, breathing heavily. "Jesus! Is that so god-damn _hard_?"

The red-clad plumber turned around slowly after a few moments of stony silence; what the mercenary saw silenced him.

Mario was _crying_.

Snake stared, backing away slightly - he had never seen Mario sniffle or shed a tear before, let alone break down and weep. It was, frankly, alarming. Had he really gone too far? The red-clad plumber fell on his knees, his hat slipping off his head and dropping onto the ground; but the man hardly seemed to notice, and clenched his eyes shut.

"I... I know I didn't do much at all..." He whispered. "And perhaps... I even enjoyed that fact that I was in the limelight all the time and not Luigi. Whenever I wanted him to express that he cared for me, loved me - I forced him to do that by ignoring him for lengthy periods of time and not paying him enough attention. And God knows, Luigi's anything but foolish. He noticed the pattern after a few times, and although he never said anything, I could tell that he was tired. Of me and my moods. No wonder he found a more comforting figure in you than me, and barely a month after the tournament began..."

The mercenary shifted uncomfortably on his feet. "Well... I... but surely he can't _hate_ you, he's too gentle... too kind..."

Mario took a deep, shuddering breath. "That's just what you think. It'll all become obvious when you see him in his deranged state, trying to attack and hurt me as much as possible - he harbours some kind of intense hatred for me and it's all my fault. I've been pushing him away repeatedly for years and years. Why do you think that Mr. L's so obsessed with hurting me? Why do you think he can use the Negative Zone to his advantage? Both are representations of his inner fears and resentment. Whenever I get caught in the Zone I hear him condemning me, telling me that I've messed everything up... it's enough to make me want to kill myself. I can't even talk about it with him because he doesn't know he's doing it. Luigi might not voice the hatred he feels for me, he might not even think about it during the day - but it's still there and I can't _stand_ it."

Snake stayed silent, but sympathy and guilt had entered his eyes, and he was trembling slightly. Seeing the red-clad man so broken, so depressed gave him a strange, odd feeling - almost like satisfaction, but more towards regret and remorse. If he had talked about Luigi with Mario from their very first (unpleasant) encounter, and if he had gone after the plumber that day, would this have happened?

"...It's Luigi who matters the most in the end, right?" The mercenary finally said, his voice low and quiet. "I wouldn't... ever want to make him unhappy. He means so much to me."

"I know... but... stay away from Luigi. _Please_." Mario choked out, his tears dripping onto the ground. "Just... stay away from him. I don't _want_ him to be hurt any further. I only want him to be happy, at least for the remainder of this tournament. Don't... put any more thoughts or ideas into his head. Don't make him hate me any more. Don't touch him. Please... just... _stay away_."

* * *

"Do you wish to stay here, Mr. Snake? Shadow Moses Island will not be used again today."

"I'm staying for a while... leave the doors unlocked, R.O.B."

"Certainly." The robot bowed and wheeled away, presumably to sweep away the snow lying on the ground. Snake sighed and jumped up to the very top platform, where he and Luigi had made their secret hideaway, and pulled a cardboard box over himself. After a full day of confusing encounters and not-entirely-pleasant conversations about the younger Mario brother, the mercenary certainly felt that he needed some space to himself. The box helped him to think clearly, because there was nothing inside it with him that was distracting.

_What am I going to do now?_

He could do with a smoke first. Snake pulled out a small packet from his trouser pockets, checking inside the crumpled packet for any cigarettes that might be left. There was one, although it did look like it had seen better days; that was probably what came from carrying the packet around with him so long. No matter. It would do. He put the cigarette in his mouth and pulled out a lighter, flicking the wheel with his thumb.

It didn't light up.

Wondering why this was so, Snake tried again. There was a faint spark, but nothing more. That was certainly odd. Had he emptied the lighter of its fuel before? The soldier gazed at the lighter, shaking it lightly to hear if there was anything inside. No sound came - it was out of fuel.

"Oh yeah..." He shook his head and murmured to himself, a sad little smile gracing his face. Snake had taken a vow to give up smoking, and had emptied his lighter a few weeks prior, because he knew that nobody in the tournament really approved of his smoking habits. Especially Meta Knight and Luigi.

Funny one, that plumber. He could make Snake do the most illogical things, and sometimes didn't even have to directly influence the mercenary to do so. He smiled again, and put away the cigarette, thinking of Luigi.

So now that smoking was out of the question, what else could he do?

"Luigi..." He murmured to himself, thinking about the strange day he'd had. He'd once thought that the younger Mario brother didn't keep secrets from him and was wholly honest, but he'd been proved wrong. Of course, he couldn't blame Luigi. If it had been Snake who'd gone through the same things, he would have done exactly the same thing. He sighed, leaning back on the interior of the box and closing his eyes.

Mario had asked - no, practically begged - Snake to stay away from Luigi. Snake normally would have just dismissed this as Mario's way to keep him at a distance, but this time he couldn't just leave it at that. The red-clad plumber hadn't looked like he'd been lying when he said that the Mr. L outbreaks had become more severe as the months went by. And the soldier knew that he definitely had influenced Luigi during all that time, sometimes even talking badly about Mario with him present; so was it really his fault, then? He didn't know, but couldn't help thinking that he was at least partly to blame for the younger Mario brother's condition.

And the solution to that?

Keep away from Luigi, as Mario had asked.

But then Snake recalled Dr. Mario's words - _You can't afford to fight, upset or otherwise hurt Luigi more - _and sighed again. Would Luigi be hurt and upset if Snake announced that he was going to keep away from him from now on? Luigi meant a lot to Snake - but the mercenary didn't know if he meant a lot to Luigi. He didn't even know if the green-clad plumber would care. Dr. Mario had said that he trusted Snake, and the during the times the two spent together, the mercenary had been convinced that Luigi did indeed trust and like him very much. Yet he knew too well how people could be so deceptive and cruel.

Besides, he didn't like the fact that he'd made Mario extremely depressed. The red-clad plumber had never been too fond of him, and he had never been too fond of Mario either, but seeing him like that was quite a painful experience. Every single Smasher in the hotel was an ally, no matter if they were particularly antisocial or not, and Snake had left the brothers' suite hours ago with a somewhat sick feeling in his stomach. Mario and he had established and agreed on the fact that Luigi was the one that mattered, but not much else; in fact, after the plumber's breakdown, Snake had looked at him for a while and then left without a word. He'd had simply no idea what the hell _else_ to do.

A soft whistling sounded from outside, interrupting his chain of extremely messed-up, confused thoughts. Great. Just the one person he didn't feel like seeing. Snake could hear the familiar footsteps making their way to the top platform, the sounds occasionally disappearing as the owner of the footsteps jumped upwards. Eventually, the footsteps grew louder and louder - until they were right next to his box. The mercenary stayed absolutely still, giving no indication that he'd heard anything.

"Good evening!" The owner of the footsteps said cheerfully, not noticing or ignoring the fact that Snake was unusually silent. He must have either won many brawls, or had won a lot of coins in the spectator gallery - Snake could hear coins jangling in the other's pockets as he moved down to lift a corner of the box up.

What now? He closed his eyes for one brief moment, thinking about the various events that had happened that day - and made his choice.

He stuck his fingers underneath the lifted up portion of the box, and slammed it down again, denying access.

"Huh?" The voice exclaimed, surprised and bewildered. "Snake? It's me, Luigi! Let me in!"

_God, Luigi... I'm so sorry..._

"Luigi... I don't think I can see you anymore." Snake replied from within the box, suddenly finding those words extremely difficult to say; the sentences flowed out in an awkward rush, but he couldn't well stop now. "After the Mr. L incident... I've been thinking... and I realized that I've been a nuisance to your relationship with your brother, your emotions, everything... So I think that for this last month we really should stop seeing each other."

"...Is there something wrong? Did Mario say something to you?" Luigi asked from outside, his voice soft as usual, although he did sound hurt and confused. "Is that it?"

Why did everyone know what the mercenary had been doing that day? Mario had made a few references to Dr. Mario during their onesided conversation, and Luigi was talking about Mario in turn. It was as if everyone except for Snake himself knew what was going on in his mind, and he just couldn't stand it. Snake clenched his fists, and did not give a reply.

"That's right, isn't it? Snake, please let me in! I don't care what Mario says! You're my best friend and nothing he says is going to change that!"

Snake sighed. "...Don't make this any harder. Please. And you shouldn't... talk about Mario like that. He's still your brother."

Silence.

"...So let me get this straight." The green-clad plumber said, drawing the words out slowly and painfully. "You're perfectly content with me being out here, not even allowed into the box, not even allowed to talk nor interact with you... after all the months we spent, all the things we did together? You'd better give me a proper answer, Snake, because you didn't give me any time to prepare for your sudden change nor have explained yourself."

"That's not what I said nor what I meant - I just want you to build up your relationship with Mario again, I've been rather onesided and cruel to him for a time... I know that since you've met me and we became friends, your outbreaks have become severe. Dr. Mario told me so. And Mario is, after all, your brother. It's family before friends."

Another bout of silence. Snake was just beginning to think that the plumber had given up and had left the Shadow Moses arena quietly, when something happened - that he'd never expected from Luigi in a million years.

"_Fine_!" Luigi suddenly shouted, slamming one fist on the cardboard box. Snake froze, his eyes widening despite himself; he definitely hadn't expected this. Tears, maybe - but not fury. "_Fine_! _Be like that_! You just _stay_ in there, then, while I go back to the hotel and never speak a word to you again. If it was going to end up this way, why didn't you push me away that first day when we met here? Fine, it's finished, you can do whatever you want by yourself - and you can _go to hell for all I care_!"

He was angry.

Luigi _never_ got angry.

"Why don't you stop worrying about my supposed 'poor relationship' with Mario and start thinking about what you're doing to me right now? Are you going to spend your time here and onwards just cooped up within yourself, Snake? _Are_ you? Without company, without friends... without-" Luigi's voice suddenly faltered, his anger dissipating as soon as it had flared up. "without... _me_..."

Snake said nothing.

"Are you... going to live like that, Snake? Hiding away from people... all your life?" The younger Mario brother whispered, sliding down to kneel in front of the box. Snake could faintly see a flash of green outside, visible only because of the finger holes in the box; Luigi was right in front of him, facing him - it was just that the box was getting in the way. Snake bit his lip, not knowing what to do. As much as he wanted to do so, he just didn't dare lift up the box and look the other man in the eyes.

"...Is that so wrong, Luigi?"

Luigi closed his eyes, slumping down in despair and sadness. There was simply no more anger in him anymore, and he was already regretting his quick-tempered action. He bit his lower lip, trying not to cry, feeling confused and abandoned - what was going on?

The mercenary wasn't feeling much better even though Luigi was now silent. In fact, he felt worse - what had he done? He'd upset the younger Mario brother again, when he had clearly wanted the opposite. Why did he have to do this so god-damn _often_? Even Visitors' Day... the Mr. L incident... he'd always managed to make Luigi feel worthless and tearful, although he had never intended it so. And now he had done it again.

He couldn't do this. He just couldn't. Maybe Luigi was right and he was better off living underneath this box, unnoticed by people, never socializing with people he'd only end up hurting.

But then, why did the younger Mario brother stand by his side? Why would he still care for Snake, give him little tokens of his appreciation and friendship, and cuddle up to him whenever he was feeling down when it was obvious that the soldier had hurt him multiple times? Why did he still trust Snake? Luigi was almost too innocent in that sense, because he'd given the mercenary his complete trust and care - remaining oblivious to the times that Snake had made him feel terrible, and expecting nothing back.

Just what did the younger Mario brother want? Snake took a deep breath, trying to ease his thoughts. It was now or never.

"What do want from me?" Snake asked quietly, hoping that the younger Mario brother would answer. "What do you want from me, Luigi? I'm just a mercenary. I haven't got anything to give to you. And I've been a obstacle in you and Mario's relationship. Wouldn't it be better if I was out of the way?"

"It doesn't matter if you haven't got anything." Luigi's soft, broken voice answered. "And despite what Mario says, it's not you that keeps on bringing Mr. L to the surface. I don't care. It just doesn't _matter_. All I want is to be inside this box with you while we talk."

Snake didn't reply.

"I need you, Snake." Luigi whispered, sounding as if he was trying to keep himself from sobbing. "Let me in. Please. _Please_."

_Ask Luigi what he wants, Snake. And give it to him._

But would he really be able to give Luigi what he wanted? Nevertheless, Snake stayed immobile for another second, and then slowly moved forwards, pressing the exterior of the cardboard box onto Luigi's body and wordlessly lifting a corner; the green-clad plumber stayed where he was, so the mercenary moved again and placed the box snugly on top of them both, enveloping them in welcoming darkness.

Once inside, the soldier quietly shuffled a distance away, uncomfortable and feeling guilty for upsetting the other man. Luigi said nothing, nor did he appear to notice, but he sniffed a few times, even wiping his eyes. The silence lasted around three minutes.

"I'm sorry." Snake broke the silence first, his voice filled with regret. "I'm so, so sorry. I didn't want to hurt you. I only... wanted the best for you, Luigi."

"No, I'm the one who's sorry!" Luigi blurted out, sounding tearful. "Oh God... I didn't mean to get angry, Snake, I didn't mean to! I shouldn't have said all those things-"

"-and neither should have I." The mercenary finished the sentence, and opened his arms, swallowing a thick feeling in his throat. "Come here, you... I haven't hugged you in ages..."

Although he couldn't actually see Snake, Luigi still knew what he meant and crept forwards, collapsing in his arms and holding onto him. He hadn't been hugged so tightly in a long time; he closed his eyes and buried his head onto the mercenary's shoulder, seeking comfort and warmth.

"Luigi," Snake sighed, feeling as if he would burst into tears at any moment, and clutched the younger Mario brother tighter. "Oh, Luigi, why do I do this to you?"

The green-clad plumber looked up at him. He wasn't angry at Snake anymore, and nor had the mercenary been particularly horrible; Luigi had simply been shocked and confused at the other's sudden change. It wasn't as if Snake had hurt him physically, and he didn't grasp the soldier's meaning at first. "What do you mean?"

"Think about the times we've talked. When you told me a little more about yourself - like Visitors' Day for example." Snake inhaled deeply. This was going to be hard, but he had to say it. "I've... always managed to make you feel absolutely horrible. I shouldn't have pried into those things, they weren't even my business - I should have left you alone!"

"But Snake," The green-clad plumber answered, still feeling rather muddled. "you're someone I can really talk to. If not you, then who else? Most of that stuff Mario already knows, and it's just not the same talking to him-"

"See, that's what I'm talking about! I like talking to you, Luigi, but I can't replace your brother. If you can't talk or sort out anything with him, you've got a problem."

The younger Mario brother looked down, his expression rather shifty, and didn't reply.

"I'm right, aren't I?" Snake persisted. "You've always told _me_ everything first during the time of the Brawl tournament. Not Mario."

"But I don't feel comfortable with Mario." Luigi confessed, sounding rather downhearted albeit relieved at the same time. "I've always been the younger brother. Second best. No matter how hard I tried, Mario was always in the way. I don't want to push him out of the way. I don't even want to be the next superstar of the Mushroom Kingdom. All I want is to not play second fiddle to my brother all the time. When I talk to him... I don't feel that he'll understand." He sighed heavily. "It's always 'Mario's younger brother' 'King of Second Bananas' or simply 'Greenie' when it comes to me. It's not fair! Why can't I be just who I am? Why can't I be... why can't I be just _Luigi_?"

"But you are." Snake answered. "You're not just Mario's younger brother. More than that. You're Luigi, who's got an individual personality and not a copy of Mario's. That makes you a totally different human being."

"Yet when I was in the previous two tournaments, I was given and told to use attack moves that was similar to my brother's. I was even treated as a clone once." Luigi shuddered, now recalling another memory from the depths of his subconscious. "When we first came here... in the Brawl tournament... Wolf made a bet with Mario that he would be able to pass the Mushroomy Kingdom arena faster than him. And you know that Wolf is at least twice as fast as Mario. So my brother lost that bet, although he knew the stage better, and he had to give up his hat to Wolf for the rest of the day. He just strutted around like that all evening and do you know what he said when he saw me?"

"What?"

Luigi dropped his gaze. "He looked at Mario... and said 'It's tough being a hero, isn't it? Why, you've even got a fake right here.'"

Snake's eyes turned ice cold at the statement, and he tensed up. The younger Mario brother noticed this sudden hostility, and looked up nervously. "Look, Snake... it was a long time ago. And he apologized in the end. It's just that... when he said it... I felt... _sad_. Like I really couldn't belong. Some of the newcomers were staring at me too, because I look so pale-skinned and weak compared to Mario. I wasn't much to look at even then. Just someone you look at once, think about for a second and forget instantly. That first week was hell for me."

"You're not just a mere carbon copy of Mario. You're taller, skinnier - and I don't know about the other two tournaments, but I can quite clearly see that you and your brother have different moves. That, coupled with a distinct personality of your own, makes you who you are. Not your status as Mario's brother."

"But the veterans... they're not going to forget my cloned moves from the previous tournaments that easily. And what about me still behind Mario's shadow?"

"It doesn't matter, Luigi. It doesn't matter one little bit." Snake said quietly. "True is true."

Silence reigned supreme for a while.

"What do you feel now?"

"You've turned the whole experience around for me. Meta Knight... Kirby... Jigglypuff... Captain Falcon and Captain Olimar... they're all great friends, but you were the turning point." Luigi suddenly smiled, his smile so bright and so sincere that it quite silenced the mercenary. "...And I'm thankful. Really."

"Even though I've hurt you?" Snake replied. "Even though I've made you rethink your past and forced you to retell things you'd rather have kept to yourself?"

"If you hadn't, Snake, who knows what might have happened to me?" Luigi lost his smile, and looked straight into the soldier's eyes, meeting his gaze directly. He wouldn't have been able to do that by himself mere weeks ago. "Mr. L might have come out to take my anger out on anything I could find... or I could have gone insane myself."

Another bout of silence.

"So is that what you want from me?" Snake asked quietly. "A person to stand by you, listen and talk to you... someone who treats you as _Luigi?_"

Luigi nodded.

"...Is that all you want? You're wanting surprisingly little, if I may say so."

"That's all I want. And I want you to promise me that you aren't going to abandon me. Or lock me out. _I want your word_." The pronounced the last few words with absolute desperation, clinging to the mercenary tightly. "Snake... I was scared this evening when you wouldn't let me in. I was actually _scared_. I thought I had done something wrong and you were angry at me. Don't do that to me ever again."

"I promise." Snake murmured soothingly, stroking the younger Mario brother's hair with gentleness. "I'll stay with you... things can go on as they've been before... and I'm not going to hurt you any more. I won't pry into what isn't my business unless you really need someone to talk to. I really do mean it, Luigi, and I'll stand by you."

"What about Mr. L?" Luigi asked softly, pressing himself closer to the other, suddenly feeling choked up. Did Snake _really_ mean that? "What about him? Can you promise the same, when I'll become unstable and senselessly violent at those times? What if I end up injuring you-"

"That doesn't matter." The mercenary answered. "After all, no matter what's happened now... Mr. L is still a part of you. And I really do like you, Luigi... _all_ of you. There's no need to hide from me. I've accepted you as who you are, and my promises extend to Mr. L too. Remember - if I do get hurt, it still won't matter because it's you. Just you."

Luigi smiled faintly, hot tears spilling down his cheeks as he closed his eyes and nestled deeper into the mercenary's chest. Snake really wasn't lying - he was being perfectly honest and true, and Luigi had never appreciated it more. As he did so, and felt Snake's arms wrap around him, he felt something ease within his heart; he had never experienced more comfort in all those months prior to that moment, and he let out a quiet sob as he broke down and cried.

"Shh." Snake murmured gently. "Don't upset yourself."

"I'm sorry. I'm hopeless. I always cry."

"If you hadn't cried at Visitors' Day you would have never managed to feel better. Instead you would have become violent and wouldn't have known what you were doing. You saved yourself, Luigi. And like I said before, it's all right to cry. Tears heal."

The younger Mario brother smiled and held Snake as if he would never let go. It was late evening now, but now he was happy, truly happy, and he didn't want to be separated from this man who genuinely cared for him.

Maybe he came first with Snake.

* * *

Meanwhile, outside the cardboard box - and standing beside the left-side pillar - was Mario, who had followed Luigi. He had heard the entirety of the conversation. As wicked and cruel as he'd felt, he'd felt a secret stab of joy when Luigi lost his temper with Snake; but then, as he listened to the duo's conversation inside the box, something inside of him weakened.

Smiling sadly, he turned around and walked silently out of the arena, only looking back once to see the unmoving box.

_If that was your choice, Luigi... what you needed... I won't argue anymore. _

_After all... you matter the most, right?_

_If you're happy, then I am. _

Once he was out of the arena, he looked up at the darkening skies, the sun setting lazily in the horizon. The red-clad plumber looked back at the arena for the last time, fixed his hat and began making his way back to the hotel, deciding to wait until Luigi returned to the suite. Snake and Luigi needed time to talk over things more, and he would give it to them for his brother's sake.

He would.


	26. 26: Flexibility Training

**Author's Note:** Reasonably quick update this time. This one's short, and a return to somewhat offhand humour I used way before in the 'Negative Zone' chapter. And this one is out of order, by the way. This takes place after 'Shaving Cream', but before the second (rather unpleasant) encounter with Snake and Mario. I've got to start being more chronological. x.x

Anyway, this plotbunny spawned when I was in Training Mode, and watching Luigi's Final Smash in 1/4 speed. When I was doing that for the umpteenth time, the thought struck my head. How come Luigi's so flexible? I mean, at one point he kicks his leg right over, spins around and doesn't show any sign of slowing down. His moves are smooth and fluid. And his victory screen and taunt as well - he can rock forwards and backwards for like... for ever. He must have absolutely huge abs. So this completely nonsensical oneshot was born. Don't take it too seriously. Snake is OOC. Really OOC.

And yes, Luigi can kind of touch the back of his head with his feet. In Super Mario Galaxy, when you're climbing a pole with a rounded top, go right up to the top until you can go no more - and he will stick his legs up in the air, balance himself on his hands and assume a cute little pose. Sweet.

* * *

"Are you... even breathing down there?"

Snake sighed and looked up from his newspaper. It was a warm Sunday, and he had invited the younger Mario brother to his suite for a small meal and conversation, just as they normally did. It was too hot to go anywhere else. However, after the meal, the other man had energetically begun cleaning up the table and washing up also, despite Snake's best efforts to get him to rest a while. He was always like that. So the mercenary had given up, and had quietly retreated to his cardboard box in the living room, settling down to read a newspaper and drink a cup of coffee. They'd decided to keep the radio on, as Luigi had always been rather curious about the songs from the mercenary's world. The song playing right now was 'Can't Say Goodbye to Yesterday', and he'd expected the green-clad plumber to comment on it.

It only occurred to him after about half an hour that Luigi was unusually silent. Snake couldn't hear him doing anything. Not even whistling or breathing for that matter.

"...Luigi?"

No answer.

Snake sighed, and put down the newspaper, unable to concentrate on his horoscope for the day; he could care less about Saturn's thinning rings and the position of Mercury right now. Where was Luigi? He waited silently for a minute, listening out for any signs of movement, but found none. Only then did he throw off his box, (which he would take apart and recycle later) and stood up to investigate.

The sink was clean, the dishes dried and put away. It was obvious they had stayed that way for a while. Snake frowned, thinking about where the younger Mario brother could be; he hadn't heard the door, nor had he heard footsteps, so where was he?

The mercenary kept silent, and tiptoed across the living room, checking the kitchenette and the bathroom. Nothing there. The bedroom, perhaps? He'd left the door open, and although he doubted that Luigi would actually go in there, he still needed to know. He checked inside, wading through the various guns and spare clothing splayed on the floor (and God, how long had that shirt been bloodstained?) but there was no sign of the green-clad plumber anywhere.

"Alright, where the hell...?" Snake was getting rather uneasy now. The younger Mario brother hadn't left the suite, as the door was still locked - but he wasn't in any of the rooms. That left the storage cupboard, which was a small spare room in the corner where the mercenary kept all his technical equipment, a few Swiss Army Knives and food rations just in case he was locked in. Snake was resourceful and prepared like that. He had been planning to add dried Yoshi meat to the rations for quite a while now, but had never quite gotten the chance.

But anyway, this meant that Luigi was either in the spare room... or out the window of the suite.

Which, coincidentally, was four floors above the main lobby of the hotel.

What was he _thinking_? He shook his head fiercely, frowning, and opened the door of the spare room, hands fumbling for the light switch. When he found it and clicked it to the 'on' position, nothing could have prepared him for what he saw on the floor of the room.

Luigi was sprawled out on the ground, completely motionless.

"Luigi?" The soldier felt more confused than relieved; why wasn't he responding? Why was he lying on the ground? Why was he lying facedown with his legs crossed, out of all positions? And that wasn't all. His arms were stretched out in front of him, limp and unmoving.

Snake scratched his chin, trying to work out what had happened. He noticed that the other's shoelaces were untied; did he trip over them? Or had he been trying to stretch his legs and had suffered from a spontaneous rise in blood pressure?

Why not?

The younger Mario brother was famous for being clumsy and awkward. And it was a hot, lazy Sunday after all. It would make perfect sense if he'd tripped over his own feet, and had fallen asleep in that position simply because he couldn't be bothered to do anything else. He entertained the thought of this possibility for a while, studying the other's posture carefully, trying to work out what was going on. Maybe Luigi actually had tripped over his own feet... and...

...and...

...had hit his head...

...and maybe... _maybe_-

"...Oh my _Gawwd_!" Snake screamed as he came to a terrifying conclusion; if Luigi wasn't moving, and wasn't responding to his screams, then logic followed that he must be, frankly, dead. The mercenary stood there, distraught and completely horrified, fingers grasping at his hair - this was so unexpected that he hardly thought of fetching medical aid or calling for help. And he did, after all, respect other people's privacy (even if they were dead as a duck) and didn't quite dare touch the younger Mario brother to check for breathing or pulse. What if Snake touched him and he was all cold, heavy and slippery? Like... like dead fish?

_Keep calm, Snake... anyone can die... everyone dies..._

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

_Everyone... dies..._

"No, no, no, _no_!" Snake shouted, his fists clenched, suddenly feeling angry despite himself. He kicked at the wall, causing bits of the peeling wallpaper and the plaster underneath to crumble off. "I can't accept this! I _won't _accept this! You can't die before me! I can't hide in the box by myself, you idiot! Who's going to nag me about eating Yoshi now? Who's going to put on a maid dress and help me shave? This is betrayal! _Betrayal_!"

Sure, the mercenary was used to dealing with dead people, of course. It was a part of his job. He would have normally known what to do in a situation like this - fetch medical aid, report to Master Hand and alert the Smashers. Yes, he could have done that.

But _not_ when things like this happened. He hadn't attacked Luigi or had contributed to his 'death' in any way; the younger Mario brother had literally given up the ghost without any input whatsoever. This was definitely the last thing Snake had expected to happen, and therefore he just stood there, feeling utterly abandoned.

"You can't... do this..." He murmured, staring blankly into thin air. What was he going to do now? But soon enough, the question was answered for him as the younger Mario brother quietly rose from his position and tied his shoelaces together, all the while completely ignoring the mercenary's presence.

Luigi, oblivious of the dumbfounded stare from Snake's part, calmly stood up and linked his fingers together, stretching his arms forwards and leaning back. When he was done, he carefully picked up his right foot, placing it next to his left knee in such a way that he was standing on one leg; then he put his hands together on front of his chest, and finally raised his arms above his head, closing his eyes and keeping perfect balance.

The mercenary looked on, speechless for a long time.

"...Are you... practising yoga?"

"Yes." Luigi replied with perfect calmness, his voice tranquil and serene. "Why else would I be so flexible? You know the dance routine I go through every Negative Zone? I had to perfect those poses and learn to stretch properly before I could even start working on the dance moves, let alone do the whole routine. I've been doing this way back before the tournament invitation came. I can even touch the back of my head with my feet and rock forwards and backwards on my stomach all day long."

Snake sighed, putting one hand over his chest. "God," He muttered faintly. "and here I thought..."

"You didn't have to overreact. I only came here because I didn't want to get in your way. You could have shaken me by the shoulders... felt my pulse and checked breathing... poked me... tickled me on the waist... _anything_."

"I didn't dare. What if you really were..." Snake trailed off, unable to say the word. "...and I ended up dislodging something? Or injured you? You might have not noticed, but I was actually rather... shocked, shall I say."

"Bless your heart."

"Shush." The mercenary paused, observing the other's posture. "So this is like dance training? Only more advanced?"

"Precisely." The younger Mario brother lowered his arms and foot down so that he was in the basic standing position, and smiled at the mercenary. "Care to join me? You already have a lot of potential. Your somersaults are brilliant, I daresay - so with a little practice, you can become a yoga master along with me. Of course, if you don't want to..."

"Show me a pose and I'll follow."

* * *

Falco was drifting along the corridor, occasionally kicking his reflector and spinning it nimbly around his wing-tips, ignoring Fox and Wolf mutter 'show-off' as they brushed past him. It was hot outside, so he'd returned from his stroll in Yoshi's Island to seek the air-conditioned, cool atmosphere of the hotel. He whistled and replaced his reflector back in his pocket, smiling as he felt his body cool down somewhat.

"You're swaying a little bit, Snake. Put more weight on your left feet." Shuffle. Shuffle. "Breathe deeply - in through your nose, out through your nose... follow a pattern. You're breathing erratically."

"I'm _trying_." Came the irritated reply, and Falco stopped, curious. He glanced at the suite number on the door, noting that it was Solid Snake's suite. Because of this, he wasn't going to barge in there. He didn't have a deathwish at the present moment, and besides he wasn't the kind of person who would rush into things and get himself into trouble, so he settled for kneeling down and looking into the keyhole.

Luigi and Solid Snake were in the middle of the room, standing on one leg; Falco recognized their posture as a yoga classic, the Tree Pose. Now the pilot didn't practice yoga, nor was he really interested in it, but he did want to know why the two were choosing to do so in a murderously hot day like this.

"So if I do this, will I get a bit more flexible?"

"Yes, although you aren't getting anywhere if you don't breathe deeply... just relax and imagine being held up by strings. Or look at a still object. That'll help."

"God." Snake muttered as he swayed uneasily on one leg. "I feel like a god-damn Puppit."

Falco had heard enough, and stood up with a highly disturbed expression on his face. He'd leave them both be. He couldn't for the love of this world imagine why Snake wanted to become flexible so much, and he didn't particularly want to guess.

"Don't want to know..." He mumbled as he walked away. "I don't want to know..."


	27. 27: Afternoon Appointment

**Author's Note:** God, this is overdue. I admit that I had absolutely no idea just how long this was going to be. It started out as a simple story, and then I couldn't resist adding Dr. Mario in there. I'm going through a serious Dr. Mario phase at the moment.

It'll pass, I say, It'll pass...

Most of this stuff in this oneshot I have taken much liberties with. I've completely made up most of the things about Dr. Mario, and added some unrealismsauce in there for good measure. This oneshot doesn't have much of a point and only exists to set a few plot points, being TL;DR in the process. But it does have kittens. And it's not too depressing.

Tsuchinokos are a nod to Metal Gear Solid: Snake Eater. That game is made of epic win. I loved playing it. Tsuchinokos are damn good.

I'll have the next one up quicker... and that one will be shorter, I promise...

* * *

"How long have we got?"

"Five minutes!" The mercenary hollered back, throwing a grenade in a blue-haired youth's direction. "And we've only got six KO's. Come on, we've got to get four more!"

"Well, considering I'm on my last two lives, Snake, and you're on your last one, I don't think we've got much of a chance!" Luigi shouted, performing an air dodge and landing on a yellow platform with annoyed-looking eyes, only to jump back onto the main arena again. "Thank you, Support Ghost!" He called to the now-retreating platform, although he knew that it couldn't answer back.

They were in one of the more 'evil' brawls that Master Hand could put them in; there were coin matches, timed matches, and battle-royale matches where the last surviving person won. But when the latter two were combined, more strain was put on them - they only had about ten minutes or so to KO all the other Smashers in the field. It was lucky that they weren't in Mushroomy Kingdom or Rumble Falls at the moment, because extra strength and endurance would be needed to keep up with the stages themselves, let alone the Smashers. At least this particular brawl wasn't too difficult, as the four Smashers were divided into two teams this time and friendly fire was off. Each of them had five lives, which meant that a team would need to get 10 KO's if they were to win. It was better than standing all alone and trying to deal with three fighters. It was definitely much better than trying to do so in a scrolling arena.

Snake and Luigi were a team, pitted against Marth and Pikachu. Both of them were reasonably good fighters, just challenging enough to keep the scores even, but the mercenary had lost a bit too many lives this time; Luigi didn't believe that he could get four (now three, because Snake had knocked Pikachu off with his missile moments ago) KO's all by himself, not within five minutes. He knew Yoshi's Island very well, yes, but that wasn't going to help much if he was going to be on his own. The Support Ghost didn't take sides, so that wasn't helpful either. But then, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted something - something that really shouldn't be there...

"_Stop_!" Luigi hollered, suddenly stopping mid-attack to push Marth aside and run towards the corner of the arena. "Stop the brawl!"

Marth sidestepped the younger Mario brother, swaying in mid-balance uneasily; Pikachu headbutted his legs, causing him to lurch forwards and unceremoniously regain his posture. "What's gotten into you? Really, Luigi, this isn't sportsmanship-"

"Look!" Luigi carefully edged towards the object; it was a bird that resembled a street pigeon, but pure white in colour. Its tail was fanned out and plumped in an attractive way; but it was a small bird, perhaps just out of its nest. One wing seemed to be broken, as it was held in an odd angle and the feathers were ruffled - it was still alert, though, and its feathers were puffed up in an attempt to ward the strangers away. All the while, it kept on trying to get on its two little feet and hop away to safety. But every time it tried, the bird just simply flopped over in a pitiful manner, and it kept letting out small squawks of pain.

"Oh, you poor thing!" The younger Mario brother cried, and bent down, trying to pick up the bird in his hands; however, when he tried to do so, the bird clawed in his direction, obviously afraid. Luigi looked up for help at the three Smashers at this act of refusal.

"What shall I do?"

"It can't attack you if it can't see you." Snake told him, being experienced in quietening down wild animals; he knelt down next to the bird, who just let out another squawk of panic and thrashed around. "It'll end up killing itself if you don't calm it down. Have any of you got a blanket? Or a large cloth?"

"Will a cloak do?" Marth offered meekly, bending down a distance away as not to frighten the bird any more. "Or would it be too heavy?"

Snake considered this for a while, but then shook his head. "That's not ideal. It doesn't make picking up this bird any easier." Marth nodded in agreement, and the two fell silent, not knowing what to use to calm the bird down. A shirt? Maybe that was too thin. Marth's cloak didn't suffice, Snake didn't carry any loose clothing, and Pikachu didn't have anything much to offer. Luigi... on the other hand...

"That's it!" The younger Mario brother exclaimed to himself, and promptly took off his hat, dropping it neatly on top of the bird. It was a nice fit, and appeared to provide enough cover and darkness for the winged creature inside. The hat moved and shifted around for a minute, as the bird began to calm down somewhat and stopped thrashing around. "What now?"

"Well, we've got an injured animal," Snake stated, getting to his feet and dusting his hands. "and we've got to look after it. Dr. Mario's the man for the job. Don't you agree?"

Luigi and Marth both nodded, although the latter looked nervous. "But... the brawl?"

"We'll call Master Hand." Snake walked towards the giant screen in the arena, displaying all the Smashers' status and damage percentage; he was in charge at the moment, and it was up to him to call the Hand. "Master Hand? We have a problem. Could you halt the brawl, please?"

There was no reply for a moment. The four waited patiently for an answer to come, until the loudspeakers finally crackled.

"What's going on, you four?" Master Hand's irritated voice came from the speakers. "Why aren't you brawling? In case you forgot, your brawl is actually _timed_; if you don't get brawling, I will be forced to either reset the match as a Sudden Death or announce a No Contest."

"There's a reason we stopped!" Luigi called out. "There's an injured bird here! Come and look!"

The Hand fell silent for a while, but then he appeared in a flash of blue, twitching his fingers in a tired and annoyed manner. "What did you say?"

"Look!" The younger Mario held out his hat, lifting up the brim slightly to show the Hand what was inside.

"A bird?" Master Hand peered closer, sounding wary. "How did _that _get in here?"

"We don't know."

The Hand sighed and glanced back at the screen. "Look, I have a brawl lined up straight after this. I will try to check the force field system to see if it hasn't failed, but I can't guarantee that. You want to be let out of your brawl, I suppose?" They nodded. "Oh, go _on_ then. You only had three minutes left anyway. Go to Dr. Mario. He'll take care of it."

He drew back, muttering about 'soft-hearted weirdos' as the Smashers filed out one by one, and reached for the microphone hidden in a slope in the stage. "This is Master Hand... The one hundred and fifty-eighth brawl in Yoshi's Island has ended in a No Contest. In eight minutes, I repeat, eight minutes... the next brawl will be between Mr. Game and Watch, Pikmin and Olimar, Lucario and Jigglypuff... your brawl location is Coneria. Please make your way to the arena as soon as possible."

Snake was the last in line, having checked the arena for any spare items that had fallen (tutting at the lack of bloodstains also), but the Hand stopped him halfway.

"Snake." He murmured quietly. "Our kittens... they're in Dr. Mario's office. Check up on them, please. If there is any kind of problem, alert me in my office. I'm leaving it to you and Luigi."

Without another word, he was gone.

* * *

"Dr. Mario!" Snake called, knocking on the mahogany door. "Dr. Mario?"

There was no answer for a second, but then quick footsteps sounded within the room, and Dr. Mario promptly burst out of the door. He looked at the four Smashers, the expression on his face serious and questioning, until his eyes rested on Snake.

"What happened? Weren't you four supposed to be in a brawl? Is it an emergency?"

"It is." Luigi spoke up, holding out the hat he had been clutching to his chest. Dr. Mario bent down slightly, wincing as he put weight on his crippled leg, and gently pulled up the brim of the hat as to see what was inside. He looked inside expressionlessly for a full ten seconds, before his eyes widened and he quickly took the bundle from Luigi's hands.

"An injured bird? In a brawl?" The Doctor asked, his usually-toneless voice filled with both alarm and bewilderment. This was understandable, of course - little animals like wild cats and dogs sometimes wandered into the brawling arenas, but they were always found at the beginning of the battles and removed quietly. They had known no instances where an animal had actually been struck down. "But... no animal has ever been injured during the entirety of this tournament! Was there not a protective field around the arena to protect any other animals from getting hurt? To my knowledge, Master Hand always puts up a force field..."

Marth, who had been quiet all this time (he was uncomfortable with Dr. Mario, thinking him too withdrawn and strange) , piped up. "I should think that he did, Dr. Mario. This bird might have snuck in just before the force field was created. Either that, or it found a flaw in the system and flew straight through."

The Doctor nodded, accepting this explanation as logical. He took another look at the bird, which let out a weak cooing sound, and looked up again. "Its wing seems to be broken. I should go and fix that now. Marth, Pikachu - please go to Master Hand's office and alert him of the force field problem. Or have you discussed it already with him?"

"He was distracted with the other battles lined up in the schedule and halting our brawl."

Dr. Mario sighed, and brushed his hair back with a hand, biting his lip and looking both frustrated and unbearably sorry at the same time. This contrast of emotions was nothing that the swordsman had expected, and he blinked somewhat uneasily. "Nevertheless... do try. We can't have any more accidents like this, what with the system disintegrating a month before the end of the tournament. I will personally check the security cameras later - to see if this wasn't done on... _purpose_..." A shadowy look crossed the Doctor's eyes, but then it was gone. "Go now. If your brawl was halted and you came straight back, then there must be at least five minutes before the next match starts. I'll take care of this little one."

Marth hesitated. "Won't it be a bit of trouble? It's such a delicate creature... why, it looks almost done for."

"Fiddlesticks!" Dr. Mario replied dismissively, taking Luigi's hat off from the bird in his arms and checking its broken wing, running his fingers carefully along the feathers. "It's still alive and hasn't suffered any other major injury. That makes it more than worth trying. And don't you worry - I've done this kind of thing many times in the past years. Run along now, Marth, and alert at least the staff about the security fault."

"Aye, sir!" Marth nodded, picked up a very sulky little Pikachu in his arms, and ran towards Master Hand's office. Dr. Mario watched them leave, a hint of worry in his eyes; he turned back, and pushed the office door open, ready to go in. However, he then paused, looking over at the two Smashers.

"Luigi... come with me. I may need some help. And you too, Snake... do come in..."

* * *

"What can we do, Doctor?"

Dr. Mario leaned heavily against the counter and supported himself, first taking down a bottle from a shelf and checking the label on it. "Snake, could you fetch me a syringe, please? They're in the bottom drawer. The smallest one possible. And Luigi, here's your hat back... lucky you kept this little one in the dark, it may have suffered a panic attack otherwise..." Snake nodded, and went to the directed area, pulling out the drawer - and briefly taking a step back in alarm at the countless syringes arranged inside. They ranged from ones that were at least a foot long to barely the size of the mercenary's little finger; after looking around for a second, he picked out the smallest syringe, and closed the drawer with a shudder. Even the smallest one had a needle almost one-and-a-half inches long.

He was sure glad that Luigi hadn't seen this. Even though he'd realized that Luigi had been in and out of the hospital ward ever since he'd arrived in the hotel, he still knew that the younger Mario brother was afraid of needles. And why was the Doctor keeping all those syringes anyway? Some of them didn't even look real, let alone safe. Maybe it was simply a collection? This was probably another aspect of Dr. Mario's life people would never understand.

Why did the Mario family have to have so many different sides to their personality?

"Snake, quickly!" Dr. Mario urged from the other side of the room; the mercenary started, and turned around swiftly, striding across the room and handing the syringe to the Doctor. The latter accepted it with an absent-minded thanks, and began to pull the instrument apart, attempting to fill it with one hand (as the other was still holding the bird). Luigi winced at the sight of the long, shiny needle, and Snake put an arm around his shoulder, turning the green-clad plumber away.

"What bird is that? A pigeon?"

"Fantail dove." The Doctor replied briskly, carefully laying down the bird on the counter. "It's one of the more beautiful species of dove, I daresay... how it got like this, I do not know, but I can quite clearly see that its wing has been hit hard by something. Perhaps a fist or the blunt side of a sword. I must say that it's lucky that it's still alive."

Luigi and Snake both exchanged guilty looks; what if they'd been the ones who'd injured the dove? It was, after all, perfectly possible. And they would never really know who'd done it. Dr. Mario remained oblivious to this turmoil, though, and bent down gently, brushing the bird's feathers and talking to it with a soothing voice.

"There now," He cooed softly, his expression smiling, his movements slow and gentle. "I won't hurt you. Just stay still. It'll only take a moment."

The dove crooked its head, looking into Dr. Mario's face with its beady eyes; but it did seem to enjoy the smooth petting from the Doctor's part, and slowly began to calm down, its body relaxing. Snake and Luigi watched, fascinated at how fast the bird had succumbed to the man's charm. The puffed-up feathers settled down, and the dove quietened, not even resisting when Dr. Mario took out the small syringe from his pocket and took hold of the broken wing, swiftly injecting the appendage with a pale liquid.

"I wish I didn't have to do this." Dr. Mario murmured, his face filled with an odd sorrow as he resumed stroking the bird's feathers. "Come over, you two. And don't worry. It'll fall asleep soon."

"Fall asleep?" Luigi started in alarm. "But... does it mean... you've-"

"No, no." The Doctor smiled sadly, gesturing to the two Smashers to join him at the counter. "I've given it a sedative. Works fast and wears off after a few hours. I wouldn't be worried about this dove had it been an adult one. But if you look closely-" He lifted up the underside of the unbroken wing, wordlessly pointing out the downy, fluffy feathers beneath. "-its feathers are too soft and the tail's too short to be a fully-fledged bird. This one's a mere squab. A fledgling. Just out of its nest. I do wish I didn't have to sedate such a young bird - but what choice do I have?"

Snake walked forwards to gaze upon the bird. "Isn't it possible to just set it without sedatives?" He remarked, carefully running a finger over the feathers. The dove didn't stir, and simply lay there in a helpless, knocked-out state. Dr. Mario shook his head, and working quickly, prised apart the broken wing and began to set it to the proper position. Wing bones were delicate things - but the Doctor seemed to possess vast knowledge of bird anatomy, they had to admit. Dr. Mario worked fast, manipulating his long fingers nimbly; soon, he had the wing's shape corrected and set properly. He didn't look up, but held the wing still while he called to the two Smashers.

"Could you get me a roll of bandages? They're on the corner shelf... behind me..."

Luigi went this time, standing up on tiptoes to reach for the roll of bandages; it rolled off his fingers and slipped beneath his hand, dropping straight off the shelf to hit the younger Mario brother's head with a small thud. The green-clad plumber winced, cursing his clumsiness. And Snake would have seen it too - he felt heat rising to his cheeks as he thought of it, but he couldn't well just stay there. So he went back (very reluctantly), his face red as a Maxim Tomato, not daring to look at the mercenary and wordlessly handed the bandages over to the Doctor.

"Thank you..." Dr. Mario appeared to have either not noticed the incident, or was ignoring it to preserve some of Luigi's dignity. He took the bandages and sliced a length off the roll, carefully tucking it around the dove's broken wing. "It was lucky only one of the wing bones broke. It was still enough to almost cripple this dove, but a few days or so and it'll be all right."

The younger Mario brother nodded, keeping his eyes fixed on the dove, partly because he was worried about the bird and partly because he didn't want to look at Snake. He knew that whenever he made clumsy mistakes like this, people would laugh at him and chortle about the incident for days afterwards. That had happened many times before, repeating _ad nauseam_ until Luigi could not even look at anyone in the face after making a mistake. But this time, things were different; Luigi felt the warmth and the reassuring weight of a hand pressing gently down on his head, stroking the top of his head in a comforting manner.

"Are you all right?" Snake whispered, true concern showing in his eyes. The green-clad plumber looked up slowly, his expression apprehensive; but the mercenary smiled at him, and he couldn't help but smile back lightly. Maybe it was different with the soldier, he thought with a relieved sigh, and nodded.

"Shame that I can't do much else at the present moment." Dr. Mario sighed, patting the bandaged wing of the dove and causing the two Smashers to snap out their 'moment'. It didn't awake, and only shuffled slightly. "My, my... if only there was a tsuchinoko with me here, I could use that creature to heal this bird as quick as anything... heal just about anyone in the hospital ward, even..."

"What's a tsuchinoko?" Luigi asked, highly interested.

"It doesn't exist." The Doctor replied calmly, carefully picking up the bird and putting it in a large birdcage. The green-clad plumber blinked, not understanding what the man was trying to say; how could he wish for something that wasn't even alive? But Dr. Mario seemed relatively content with this answer, and whistled softly, petting the bird one last time.

Snake, who had been watching this exchange in complete silence, finally opened his mouth. "...So a tsuchinoko is a miracle cure that is supposedly a creature, therefore a living being, and has the power to heal all injuries... but doesn't exist?"

"That sums it up perfectly." Dr. Mario smiled. "A tsuchinoko is a legendary creature that has the power to replenish all damage done to any human or animal. It resembles a snake more than anything else, and is rather witty and sly when it comes to communicating with humans."

"...It talks?"

"It does indeed." The Doctor supported his weight on the walking-stick once more, closed the birdcage door and turned around. "I thought you might have heard of it, Snake. I've heard that tsuchinokos do live in the jungles in your world. They do not live in any other worlds as far as I know. Apparently they taste rather nice as well."

Snake frowned; had there been reports of a snake-like creature that talked with great wit and sarcasm in his world (apart from himself, of course)? He didn't recall any. And he wasn't someone to miss reports and sightings of that kind. But as Dr. Mario had mentioned the fact that tsuchinokos tasted nice, maybe he would go and seek out some when he went back. Perhaps he could even add it to his rations, and he could skin it and roast it over a fire... that would be bliss-

"...Snake, are you all right? You seem very far away."

"I was thinking about the tsuchinoko." The mercenary replied in a daze, his lips curving in a small smile. "If it does exist in my world... I'll go and find some later..."

Luigi looked at him oddly, mild disgust in his expression. "To eat? Snake, you can't eat something that _talks_! That's barbaric!"

"I tried with Pikmin. I'm sure they talk in their own language."

"You tried to consume Pikmin?" Dr. Mario cut in before Luigi could reply, looking highly bemused. "I'm surprised that you didn't suffer from stomach cramps or even succeeded at all. Captain Olimar hasn't found out, I hope?"

"I didn't actually manage to eat one. Luigi here enlightened me before I could eat it." The soldier replied in a lighthearted manner, again patting the other's head. "Bless him and his long striped socks."

"Hey!"

The Doctor laughed and shook his head fondly at the two Smashers. "You two are such an handful. Would you like a cup of coffee? Or tea?"

"Please."

* * *

A clink of china on wood sounded.

"I don't have any other refreshments, I'm afraid."

"That's perfectly all right." Luigi replied, taking up his cup of coffee and taking a sip. He smiled and leaned back on the armchair, letting a soft content sigh escape him. "You always make such good coffee, Doctor. How can you do it? You use the same machine like the everyone else in this hotel... but your coffee comes out great every time."

"You flatter me." The Doctor replied, sounding somewhat bashful, but he did seem happy. "There's no particular secret to it. It comes from living alone for far too long, I believe."

"I agree with Luigi." Snake added. "This is one office where exploding coffee machines don't happen. There's one going bust every week or so because someone forgets to clean out the filter... or they put in inappropriate things... like Lucario the other day. He'd heard of 'chocolate coffee' from Captain Falcon and got curious, so he went and put a whole bar of milk chocolate in the machine along with the beans. Needless to say, the whole thing blocked up and broke down. He was lucky the machine didn't explode."

Dr. Mario chuckled, much to the two's surprise. The Doctor seldom did that. "_Mio Dio_! I'd have never thought _Lucario_ of all the Smashers would do such a thing. He's such a quiet one."

"He's really quite mischievous," Luigi said, taking another sip from his cup. "although he only shows that side to children like the Ice Climbers. And the Pokemon Trainer."

There was comfortable silence for a while as the three men leaned back and sipped their coffee. The atmosphere in the office was a lot more relaxed and lazy than either of the Smashers had expected; perhaps if it wasn't too much trouble, they could visit from time to time.

"Oh, and Doctor... Master Hand asked us to check up on the kittens." Snake stated, breaking the silence as he remembered the giant Hand's words. He looked up to see Dr. Mario's inquiring eyes. "Where are they?"

The Doctor 'hmm'ed for a second before his eyes lit up. "Indeed, he did ask me! They were brought in for their final vaccination. But..." He glanced at the two Smashers. "...do you know them? Did Master Hand let you see the kittens?"

"Yes, he did!" Luigi put in, his worried expression instantly clearing at the mention of the kittens. "I befriended a ginger kitten when we both went up to his office. And there was a grey one that's completely in love with Snake."

"Quiet, you."

The older man stood up and went into the small side room via a hidden door. It was painted to look like part of the wall, so the two missed a beat for a second when Dr. Mario simply pushed the 'wall' open and entered inside; but he soon returned, clutching a familiar-looking basket covered with a blue cloth (that also looked familiar). "Do you know what gender your kittens were? Quite conveniently, there are two pairs of kittens with ginger and grey coats... and each pair is made up of a female and male. So we have a female ginger kitten and a female grey kitten... and same for the males."

"Mine was the ginger female." Luigi piped up, bending forwards to take a look. "They must be about... six weeks old now?"

"Six and a half." Dr. Mario corrected. "And just about the right time to socialize. You have about a fortnight to get those kittens used to your presence... after eight weeks, they won't be able to become accustomed to humans. If Master Hand gave permission for you two to see the kittens, then I believe I can trust you. They've been vaccinated this morning, but it should be safe to handle them now."

Snake had said nothing throughout this speech, but had pulled back the cloth and was now carefully peering inside. Four kittens were in there, only one awake; it was the ginger female that Luigi had handled previously. The mercenary picked up the kitten, feeling its small claws drag across the back of his hand as it squirmed around.

"Hang in there. I'm taking you to Luigi." He said somewhat dryly, and without another word placed the kitten down on the plumber's lap. Luigi laughed delightfully at the sight, giving it his hand the way he had done before; the creature stared at him for a moment, but then recognition set in. It purred happily, jumping up to perch on his shoulder and nuzzle into his neck.

The Doctor observed this with a watchful eye, although he did seem relieved that the Smashers were coping well. "She seems to like you a lot, Luigi. Try tickling her. Or stroke the back of her neck. They like that."

"Their paws _are_ like jelly. Crazy Hand was right." Luigi had taken one little paw and was examining the paw pads. "Would it hurt if we touched them, Dr. Mario?"

"As long as you don't squeeze them too hard, they rather enjoy it."

The younger Mario brother pressed lightly on the pink pads, hearing the kitten mew out loud and nudge his chin with the top of its head. But it did not seem to protest, and Luigi tried again, this time making the kitten almost squeal with delight. "Oh, she's so _cute_! And those pads... they're so soft! No wonder Crazy Hand likes squeezing them."

Snake wasn't listening, as he was still looking into the basket; there were two grey kittens in there, and they looked exactly alike. There were no striped patterns or any kind of markings to distinguish one kitten from another. How was he going to find his kitten?

But the three kittens, being now awake, just looked at him and gave him no answers. The mercenary sighed and carefully offered his hand to the kittens, hoping that the right one would recognize him somehow. The creatures carried on staring at him, but then a familiar grey kitten came up to him and began nuzzling into his palm, rubbing its fur against the skin. It looked up and then mewed at him, having recognized the soldier by his scent.

"So it's you, eh?" Snake murmured quietly, picking up the tomkit in his hands and tucking its hind legs in. The kitten had grown a bit; its legs were still short, but its tail had gotten fluffier and longer, and its build was considerably larger than last time. It purred, and mewed again, dabbing at his face with two soft paws. The tomkit did seem glad to see him again, a fact that Snake was very grateful for. It curled up for a second under his touch, but then rolled over and exposed its belly, lying on its back. The mercenary stared, unsure what to do; what did the kit want?

"Doctor? What should I do?"

"It wants you to tickle its stomach. Be very gentle, though, it's a sensitive area."

Snake inwardly winced; stroking a kitten's back or head was out of character enough, but tickling its belly? Utter madness! That just wasn't something he did!

But the kitten looked up at him with wide, cute eyes, and the mercenary gave in almost instantly. He slowly ran his hand along its stomach, feeling the soft fur (softer than the fur on its back, he noted) and when the timing was right, he began to tickle the kitten with a finger. It squirmed around, mewing, but seemed happy enough for him to continue. He could feel that his face was automatically breaking into a smile as he carried on and the kitten finally curled up on his lap, its tail swishing around lazily around his knees.

"There you go." Dr. Mario said. "That wasn't too difficult, was it? They enjoy the sensation. Mind you don't do it too often, because they do get annoyed."

"Do you think we'll be allowed to name those kittens, Snake?" Luigi asked as he let his kitten chew lightly on his finger. "Or would that be asking too much?"

"I don't know..."

There were only two kittens left in the basket now; a ginger tom kitten, and a grey kitten not unlike the one that Snake was holding. They did seem rather left out, and was gazing up at the three men with a shifty look in their eyes; Dr. Mario noticed, and picked up the grey one, petting its thick fur and talking to it in a soft voice. The kitten relaxed after merely a few seconds, and nuzzled into the Doctor's gown, purring ever so quietly. The grey ones were, indeed, rather shy and timid - and would be perfectly satisfied if someone cuddled them close or fed them. That was all they needed. But the same couldn't be said for the ginger kittens.

"That only leaves this one." The man murmured, and reached into the basket to take the last kitten. However, the tomkit drew back, baring its teeth and hissing in a threatening manner; it wasn't particularly fond of humans, as it had never been really handled by anyone except for Master Hand and Crazy Hand. Snake and Luigi hadn't paid much attention to the leftover two kittens when they had first visited.

Dr. Mario knew nothing of this, but he could see very clearly that the kitten didn't trust him - he didn't move his hand away from the basket, but slowly bent his head and hunched down as to not appear as a threat. "Easy now." He whispered, his tone low and kind. Luigi glanced at the Doctor uneasily, not daring to move around and startle the creature, but not wanting to leave the man with the feral kitten. Snake said nothing, but quickly gestured to the green-clad plumber to come away and leave Dr. Mario to carry on with what he was doing.

"Are you crazy? He'll get bitten - or worse!" Luigi whispered hastily. But the mercenary shook his head; Dr. Mario knew what he was doing, and he respected that.

"Shh. I won't hurt you." The Doctor was saying, smiling in a friendly manner at the kitten (which still looked rather suspicious). "Come on. There's a good boy." When the kitten didn't move, he took the chance to slide his hand forwards a little, indicating that it was safe. The tomkit shrunk back, its fur standing up on end; when Dr. Mario pressed ahead, extending his hand a little further, it lashed out and sunk its teeth deeply into the man's index finger.

"_Ah_!" The Doctor gasped, flinching sharply in pain, clenching his eyes shut. The kitten had drawn blood, and had fastened its teeth onto his finger rather firmly; he couldn't very well just break free. Luigi and Snake both ran forwards at the sight, although they did know that they couldn't do much with their own kittens in their arms. But Dr. Mario held out his other hand, shaking his head, commanding the two to stay back.

"There, there..." He whispered, standing his ground, even though his hand was trembling. It _hurt_, perhaps more so because it was obvious that the kitten was afraid and mistrustful of him even after his efforts; but Dr. Mario didn't want to tame this creature, nor did he wish to 'understand' it. All he wanted was to get the little kit to calm down. "It's all right... don't be afraid..."

A few seconds passed by in tense silence as the kitten held on tightly without moving. But slowly, very slowly, its ears began to droop and the kitten was beginning to loosen its grip on the Doctor's finger; Dr. Mario waited patiently, occasionally coaxing the little creature with a small sound of encouragement. After a few more seconds, the kitten let go completely, and meekly began to lick the wound where its teeth had punctured the delicate skin.

"You were just afraid, weren't you?" The man smiled serenely, no anger nor pain in his eyes; he stroked the tomkit's back with his other hand, watching it relax and purr softly at the touch. "There's nothing to be afraid of now. Don't you worry."

The kitten looked up and met the Doctor's eyes, their gaze forgiving and gentle, and began to nuzzle into the man's chest. The white gown he was wearing came loose, revealing that Dr. Mario was wearing a black wool sweater beneath; the tomkit instantly latched on, digging its little claws into the soft wool and obviously enjoying the feeling of the material beneath its paws. The Doctor held the kitten close, looking slightly startled but happy, stroking the velvety fur on the back of its ears and talking to it quietly in a placid tone.

Luigi and Snake watched this sight with a kind of wonder - how could Dr. Mario tame and quieten down almost uncontrollable animals, just like that? And how could he do so that quickly? Gaining an animal's trust took days, weeks, even months and years. With the Doctor, it took just short of a couple of minutes. Neither of them could really find an explanation for this, but the very fact that Dr. Mario never tried to bend an animal's will and only tried to co-exist with them was probably a good part of the main reason. No wonder he connected so well with them.

"I think that animals and children are easier to associate with." Dr. Mario suddenly spoke, as if providing an answer. "Humans... adults... they're so unpredictable. Illogical. I could never really identify with people my own age right from when I was a teenage lad. That's why I stuck to the medical profession, studying viruses, even befriending them... they don't pretend to be your friend and wait to betray you or abandon you later. Animals and children are the same. Their souls are pure. They're logical, simple... yet wonderfully complex at the same time..." He looked up from the two kittens now comfortably nestling into his lap to gaze into the two's faces. "I have no wish to become someone I'm not in order to fit into what is known as 'society'. I would rather prefer to talk and associate with animals and children who accept me as I am."

"You're different, though. You're both honest... true... have all the virtues I admire... I respect you for that. I am not saying that you are predictable nor guilible - in fact, both of you are in possession of a clear, sharp mind. Anyone can see that there's nothing unlikable about you. I'm sure that the majority of the Smashers will agree."

* * *

"I must get going now." The clock was showing twenty past three, and Snake stood up with an apologetic look. "I have a brawl due in Norfair in ten minutes."

Dr. Mario stood up also, along with Luigi, and set the two kittens down. "I've kept you, have I not? I apologize. I wish you the best of luck in your brawl."

"Same here, Snake." The younger Mario brother spoke up. "Meet me in the bar for dinner later?"

"I will." A friendly handshake with the Doctor and a pat on Luigi's head later, the mercenary thanked the older man again and left the office after placing his kitten back in the basket to sleep. Dr. Mario sat back down again, putting away his used cup; Luigi sat down also, examining the pattern on a cushion on the side.

"What do you think of Snake, Luigi?" Dr. Mario suddenly said, sitting opposite the green-clad plumber as he had done so often before, letting the two kittens curl up in his lap. He laced his fingers together and leaned forwards, calmly awaiting an answer. Luigi looked into the other man's deep blue eyes, gathering his thoughts and getting ready to answer the question. "Is he nice to you? Do you think he cares for you, like you care for him?"

"Snake's simply wonderful to be around." The green-clad plumber answered. "And he's done so much for me. Without him, I might have just quit this tournament halfway. He's the first real friend I've found who lives in a completely different world to ours, and the first to genuinely care in ages... I wish I could do something for him before we all pack up and leave for home..."

His voice trailed off as he thought of the mercenary. He didn't want to hurt Snake again, nor did he want to lose his temper with him. Perhaps there was some kind of stray poison within him, running in his veins, that provoked his cruel alter-ego to surface every now and then and hurt the people he loved. He didn't want that.

"Luigi," Dr. Mario's soft voice broke his thoughts. "I understand if you don't want to discuss this. After all, it is between you and Snake when it comes to what you think of each other. I've spoken to Snake before, and the first person he voiced concern for was you. Yes, he does trust and believe in you, Luigi. Anything you want, he will do. I personally think that befriending Snake was a very wise movement from your part - you've found a friend who doesn't need excessive commitments to be your ally. That's a very important thing to think about."

The younger Mario brother nodded, agreeing fully with this statement. How did the Doctor know about those things? He was filled with wonder whenever he heard the older man's speeches, simply because they were so _real_ and true. How could a man, living alone with viruses for company, know so much about human emotions and affection?

"Are you married, Doctor?"

"Bless you, my boy, no!" The man laughed heartily, stroking the grey kitten on the head (which purred happily at the touch). "Chance would be a fine thing at my age. I was never too popular with the ladies. Besides, I should say that I wasn't likely to be a very good catch even then, what with me working late and not coming out of my office for days at a time. I should think that I never would have been able to commit." But then his expression softened, and his smile gained a melancholy quality to it that Luigi found rather endearing.

"But I would have loved children," He spoke quietly, his voice soft and filled with an odd sorrow. "Ah... I could have tucked them in and kissed them goodnight... tell them how much I love them... If I'd had children I'd have spoiled them to bits." He laughed somewhat half-heartedly, his gaze falling.

"It's a pity... I would have loved to be a father. Shame that it's probably too late now."

Luigi watched him, suddenly feeling saddened; so that was why the Doctor was so protective and caring towards children. He'd seen the older man telling the Ice Climbers a story one time, his voice soft and ever so gentle, his eyes filled with affection. Dr. Mario took anyone who was shy, quiet and withdrawn under his wing, like Lucas. The first couple of weeks of the tournament hadn't been very good for the boy, but the Doctor had taken him in, offering him advice, talking with him and slipping him Heart Containers after a battle. After only a week or so of this treatment, Lucas had opened up and had begun to make new friends. But Luigi had often seen the boy making conversation and laughing along with Dr. Mario, so he assumed that he had never forgotten the care and gentleness he had received from the older man.

It was quite hard to believe that a nice man like Dr. Mario had no one waiting for him back home; was there really no one looking after him? Was there really no one to cook him a nice meal (and God, the Doctor did look like he needed one), talk with him, help him out and see that he was getting proper amounts of sleep every day? Luigi noticed just how tired Dr. Mario looked; his normally-dull eyes often became more duller and unfocused the longer he stayed up, and he didn't look like he was eating properly. The younger Mario brother remembered back to the last tournament, the one before this one, and knew that Dr. Mario had been rather slow due to lack of exercise. The latter had also had a somewhat hearty appetite then. But this time, he looked more weary and thin. Yet this man asked for nothing in return for his medical services, eating whenever he could and doing late-night duties in case an accident broke out. He received nothing whatsoever - but still gave the Smashers all he could.

Luigi could identify with Lucas perfectly. After all, the Doctor had done more for him than any other Smasher. After his Mr. L transformations, he would be so exhausted that even Mario could not draw near him without touching a nerve; but Dr. Mario would simply sit there and watch over him, quietly accepting him as who he was, never attempting nor suggesting special therapy or surgeries. He would even hug Luigi if the latter wanted to be comforted. Over time, Dr. Mario had become a father figure to Luigi; they were distant cousins in reality, but the younger Mario brother still felt that the Doctor was one of the most comforting figures in his life.

Luigi was going to repay him somehow. Yes, he would. He wasn't going to leave such an admirable man to go unnoticed.

* * *

The clock on the wall struck five o'clock. Dr. Mario looked up from his papers about the common cold, slumping back on his chair and sighing heavily. No luck. All his life he had strived for a vaccine, a cure to effectively treat the common cold - and had gotten nowhere. He had created pills and medicines for just about every other disease in the world, but that one constantly evaded his research, always mutating into something else when he thought that he had enough information to create a vaccine. Of course, even if he failed to create a megavitamin for the common cold in his lifetime, he knew that he would still be a very respected figure due to the other things he had achieved; but being a terribly insistent perfectionist when it came to work, he wasn't particularly happy about that.

Shouldn't he be eating something now? He hadn't eaten lunch; over the years, he had grown accustomed to eating less and less. But he felt quite hungry at the present moment; when had he last eaten? Almost ten hours ago, he suspected. It wasn't healthy for him, and he knew that if he went on like this it would be a bad impression on his patients. Doctors with a permanently scruffy, thin look were not thought to be good doctors, nor were they trusted as well. How could someone who couldn't look after themselves be trusted with another person's health care?

This was perfectly understandable logic, but it depressed the Doctor more than anything. Shaking his head, he sat up and stretched, reaching for his walking stick. He stood up awkwardly, almost losing balance once, but he managed to regain himself just in time; he took a few steps forwards, walking over to the basket of kittens and pulling back the blue cloth. Four pairs of bright blue eyes looked back at him; the kittens sat there patiently, even though it was nearly their feeding time. He smiled, patted each one of them on the head softly and replaced the cloth.

"He should be here by now..." He murmured as he took off his white doctor's gown and put on another one. He would need to put the other one in the wash.

As if 'he' had heard the Doctor, the door to his study suddenly slammed open, revealing a gigantic white hand. Dr. Mario didn't flinch nor really gave a reaction to this, as if here were accustomed to this kind of thing happening every now and then. He merely looked over, smiling, doing up the buttons on his gown. "There you are. I was expecting you. Is Master Hand busy?"

"Oh, don't even _start_, Giuseppe!" The insane brother of Master Hand cackled, his fingers shaking with mirth. "He wanted to come down himself, but he somehow managed to get entangled in telephone cords whilst talking to Resetti. Apparently that mole's fed up of being taken away from his ham and eggs just to shout and rant at the Smashers. As far as I know, he's still giving Master a hard time over the phone. Don't know why he's so fussed, I say so myself - I could always swop with Resetti, make my victims drink toilet water flavoured with a hint of superspicy curry and Rocky Road..."

"Indeed." Dr. Mario replied calmly, still smiling, being so used to Crazy Hand rambling on like this for minutes and hours on end. "How's Dusty doing?"

"Perfectly fine." The Hand seemed to settle down at the mention of his kitten's name. "You're a master at vaccines. I trust you. He's being a bit grumpy because he didn't get his portion of tuna this afternoon, but I'll fix that when I go up."

"No side-effects?"

"Nope, none whatsoever." The Hand paused for a while, seemingly looking over Dr. Mario's form. "...I must say, that's a really stylish black gown you have on there, Giuseppe. But why that colour? I don't _think_ you're mourning someone."

"I needed a change from my white gown. And thank you for the compliment."

"You smell of coffee. Lots and _lots _of coffee."

"Perhaps it's due to the fact that I drink a lot of it." Dr. Mario replied, amused. "Drink it too much, if anything."

"But back to business... where are the kittens?"

"Here you go. They've been lovely." The Doctor handed over the basket of kittens, and Crazy Hand looked at them, twitching his fingers at the sight of them mewing happily and looking relatively content. One of them latched on to his finger mischievously, purring.

The Hand wriggled his thumb and little finger. "There, there. Daddy's here. You missed me, didn't you?" A purr. "Well, you see, daddy's a _busy_ man. He's got to look after his brother and take him peanut butter jelly sandwiches every now and then. Speaking of food, you must be hungry. Just hang on for a while." He coaxed, and then covered up the kittens again.

And then took another look.

"Was there someone else in the office, Giuse? I smell foreign contaminant. Either that, or someone I'm familiar with."

"Snake and Luigi were here a few hours ago." Dr. Mario couldn't help his smile growing wider as he thought of the two. "They've been very gentle with the kittens. I hear that you and Master Hand allowed them to see the kits?"

"We did." Crazy Hand sounded relieved at the fact that the two Smashers he trusted had been with the kittens, and not someone else. He covered the basket and took it up on the back of his hand, balancing it delicately. "Were they smitten with them? Come on, give me a professional opinion."

The Doctor thought for a moment or two, recalling the previous events in his office. "...I rather think that the kittens love them very much already. And yes, Snake and Luigi were so happy to see them here. They're affectionate with the kits all right. In my opinion, I think they should be given more time together."

Crazy Hand nodded as best as he could, twiddling his index finger and thumb, deep in thought.

"Hmm..."


	28. 28: Unspoken Reason

**Author's Note:** Man, I don't believe I actually wrote this...

Contains a lot of canon, but nevertheless cringeworthy Sonic-bashing. So if you're a die-hard Sonic fan, I don't recommend that you read this. Nothing actually happens in this oneshot; it's just an exploration into Snake's codec conversation about the hedgehog. If one considers the twisted little universe I've created for 'Within the Cardboard Box'... this particular chapter is AU. It doesn't belong anywhere in the main storyline. I don't make references to Subspace Emissary unless necessary, and nor have I involved it with the main universe of 'WtCB', so this one is out of place just like the first two Falcon + Olimar duo fics I wrote. Don't flame for the Sonic-bashing please, because in reality I quite like his character. (He just felt... slippery in Brawl.)

After a month or so of obliviousness, I finally came to terms with the fact that 'Within the Cardboard Box' screams 'GHEY' with almost every chapter. The people over in the Super Smash Bros Kink Meme think so. I appear to be spreading Snake/Luigi germs everywhere and somehow... I don't... regret it.

This fic won't turn into yaoi _ever_, and I have no plans to make it into a couple-oriented fic, but expect fluffiness and out-of-pace interactions in the chapters to come. I am such a hypocritical person. x.x

* * *

"Snake, what is it?"

Solid Snake was sitting in a cardboard box on a platform in Shadow Moses Island, his codec in hand, glaring down below at the main arena. There was a brawl going on down there; that was nothing new, of course, but that day one of the Smashers currently brawling there was _really_ getting on his nerves.

"Ha! You're too slow!" Sonic the Hedgehog taunted, dashing past King Dedede and knocking him off his feet. The King of Dream Land grunted and looked back, annoyed; he could swing his hammer all he wanted and he still wouldn't be able to catch that pesky hedgehog. It was even more unbearable that Sonic had all of his three lives left and Dedede only had two - and they had been on this brawl for about ten minutes now. Why couldn't they have been in a timed brawl instead? He had practically no chance of KO'ing Sonic like this-

"Are you still thinking about whether King Dedede is a penguin or not, Snake? Well, technically I would say-"

"It's not that, Otacon," Snake growled, still looking down at the brawl. "It's not King Dedede I have a problem with. Something about that - hedgehog -" He frowned, trying to find the right words. "-rubs me the wrong way."

"... Oh, you mean Sonic the Hedgehog?"

"Yeah."

"But everyone _loves_ Sonic!" Otacon gushed, making Snake sigh and slump down at the other end. To be perfectly honest, what else had he expected? It was true - many people liked Sonic. Snake had no idea why they would like such an obnoxious, brash hedgehog with an ego the size of a Metal Gear RAY, but that was exactly the case. Sonic was a newcomer like he was, and probably more popular and well-known to the outsiders, but that didn't excuse him for the some of the things that he did. "He's a big star. Do you have any idea how excited people are that he's here in Brawl?"

"They might be, but _I_ sure am not." Snake snapped, his tone sharper and more irritated than he'd intended. "It's a nightmare listening to him bragging all the time. And whenever he wins a match he goes around taunting just about everyone he can find. And he isn't even that high up in the scores list!" He swore out loud without thinking when King Dedede had lost one life yet again. Sonic grinned in triumph and broke into one of his trademark breakdances, calling 'C'mon, step it up!' up to the giant penguin (who had landed onto a platform, his expression annoyed).

"Your language is pretty colourful yourself, Snake." Otacon remarked, sounding somewhat amused.

"Quiet, you."

"But is that the only reason you don't like Sonic? Come on, give the guy a break - he still has too many enemies in his world for his own good - it's a good thing he came over here to chill out and relax. He'll mellow out, like the newcomers eventually do. When that happens, I can assure you that he'll keep his mouth shut."

"So you're admitting that he does have a big mouth." Snake replied.

Otacon chuckled guiltily from the other end. "Nobody can deny that. No one's perfect, Snake. And I do know that Sonic can be much too proud and cheeky at times. Give him a chance and he'll probably settle down within a couple of weeks."

"Yeah, I know..." The mercenary mumbled to himself, gazing at the brawl below him. "...but there's something about him I just don't like."

Why, he asked himself even so, why? Otacon was right - there had to be more than simple annoyance involved. Otherwise why would the mercenary feel this kind of... loathing for the blue hedgehog? He'd never even personally gotten into a scrap with Sonic, nor had argued with him. They hadn't even talked much. Snake frowned, chewing on his lip, looking blankly at the scene unfolding below him. King Dedede had scored a critical hit, and Sonic flew backwards with a yelp and landed with a crash; the left-side pillar broke down in the process and the King of Dream Land took this opportunity to simply grab and throw the hedgehog off the arena. Sonic was knocked out with a very satisfying thud and a scream; Snake found that his lips were twisting into a smile at the sight despite himself.

So why did he hate Sonic so much?

Had the hedgehog injured him in any way? No. It was his fourth week in this place now, and he had only had a handful of brawls with Sonic since the beginning. But he had never liked the hedgehog even then, because of the events that had happened before the real tournament; the Subspace Emissary.

Of course! The Smashers had all fought with their lives, even when their paths crossed and they initially mistook each other for enemies. Even when they had faced almost impossible bosses. They had always stuck together, ended up as one huge team within subspace... But Sonic hadn't been there. No. He had appeared only after they had all been turned into trophies in one devastating sweep and subsequently revived by the few surviving heroes. King Dedede, Ness and Luigi were the trio they had to be thankful to, as they had been the ones who had revived the rest of the Smashers. Sonic only appeared after all that, when the Smashers had fought almost to the death, acting as if the whole thing was one big joke.

Snake hadn't liked that.

Seeing Sonic jeering and beating up King Dedede was therefore not the nicest thing he could watch. Suddenly he felt rather sickened; the soldier turned away, not wanting to watch any more. Sure, the incident was considered to be all in the past. This tournament was a brutal one in terms of fighting. But surely Sonic could have at least a _little_ respect for the trio that saved them all?

And it wasn't just King Dedede either. Sonic was neutral about Ness, but that didn't stop him taunting the boy every now and then. And as for Luigi, the kindest and gentlest out of that group...

_"What's up with your shoulder?" Luigi tried to pull away, mumbling something about being all right, but Snake wasn't having it. He pinned down Luigi's arm with ease and rolled up his sleeves right up to the shoulder, and gazed silently at the bruise that had formed there. _

_"Who did that?" He asked quietly, a finger lightly skimming over the bruised skin. Luigi bit his lip and winced; he instantly drew back, gazing into the plumber's eyes. _

_"It's nothing," The man in green mumbled, trying to pull away, but failing miserably. For the first time, he cursed the box for being too small. "I just... got hurt a little while I was brawling with Mario and the others, that's all-"_

_"And your brother didn't even notice?" The mercenary asked, his voice still quieter, but his gaze was smouldering. The younger Mario brother looked down nervously. "I'll ask you again. Who did that?"_

_"...I got hit by Sonic when he went Super." Luigi mumbled, tugging his arm free. "He barged into my shoulder pretty hard... but I'm all right, I swear I am!"_

_"Lies." Snake's voice was still calm, but his eyes had turned dangerous, one fist clenching subconsciously. He ran his finger over the bruised area, making the other man cry out softly in pain. "You're still hurting. That bruise is going to want to converse with you tomorrow. You said Sonic did this to you?" Luigi nodded miserably._

_Snake inhaled sharply, hands closing around his handgun. "Good-for-nothing rat." He snarled softly to himself. "I'll have to teach him a lesson later. He thinks he's so _it _- only dragging his lazy ass off the ground when we'd damn near fought ourselves to death-" The rest of his anger-filled speech was cut off as Luigi grasped him tightly, looking frightened._

_"Snake, please... _please_ don't make trouble." He pleaded, and the soldier could not stay angry. Luigi looked desperate; slowly, his grip on the handgun loosened until his hand fell limp to the side. The younger Mario brother was still clinging to him, eyes glistening with tears. "It's not like I'll _die_ from it, and... and... I don't want to make a fuss of nothing!" _

_Snake stayed silent, but a light of sympathy had entered his eyes. Luigi gazed at him, his tearful expression getting to the soldier; the latter bit his lip lightly for a second, and then sighed._

_"He hurt you." He said flatly. "And it seems like nobody's really caring."_

_"Yes, but the others all get injured during brawling. I'm not the only one."_

_Snake said nothing. Luigi's argument made perfect sense; brawling was a tiring job, after all, and they all got hurt once in a while. But when he'd looked at Luigi's bruise, a certain protective instinct flared up within him; he didn't actually understand why, but figured that it was because the green-clad man was one of his close friends. Maybe closest friend, even. He sighed and gently eased the sleeves down again, feeling Luigi relax against him._

_"I don't like seeing you hurt." He said quietly, reaching out to lightly stroke the other's hair. "I know I sound weird. I know I usually don't give a twig about who gets injured and who doesn't. But..." He closed his eyes briefly and sighed. "...but... look, I care for you, all right? I don't like it when people hurt you."_

_Luigi didn't reply, and merely looked down, looking rather upset. The mercenary sighed and patted the other's head again._

_"Come on. Let's get you a Heart Container..."_

"But..." Otacon trailed off, at a loss for words and sounding nervous at the mercenary's unusually long silence. "..._why_? You must have _some_ kind of reason."

The soldier decided to keep it to himself. After all, he did care about Luigi, and he wasn't going to discuss such details even with a friend. Otacon wouldn't understand if he didn't say anything, but then it was probably better that way.

"Nope," Snake answered, glowering down again at the hedgehog.

"... Just... _don't_... like him."


	29. 29: Helping Hand

**Author's Note:** Not a Snake and Luigi chapter, but probably just as heartwarming. I hope. My version of heartwarming involves a lot of copied humour, a screaming madman and overall bawwedness in general, so I'm not sure how this story would relate to sweet and fluffy.

I will not update for a couple of weeks. I'm going to Korea in the 24th of August, and my next oneshot refuses to stop growing, and I don't see how I can finish it in time. If I can, I will update. But if not... don't expect anything until September. x.x

I'm a bad girl. x.x

* * *

"Falcon, are you all right?"

"Yes, I'm fine! Don't worry about me, Olimar, and just use that Pitfall over there!" Captain Falcon hollered, using a Falcon Kick on Donkey Kong and quickly knocking him down below. Caught by surprise, the giant ape let out one roar of shock and tried to grab onto the edge, but it was already too late for that. He fell with a giant thud, causing one of his 'stock' to fall away from the screen display. Now all the Smashers in the field had one stock each, which meant that if they were knocked out, that was it. They would not be coming back to the arena.

Captain Olimar whistled to his six Pikmin to follow, and they obediently followed along on his heels. It was a shame that this wasn't a team brawl - he and Falcon were technically opponents here, each capable of KO'ing the other. He hoped that it didn't have to happen that way, because although Falcon would be fine with it, he would still feel guilty as anything.

The fact that this brawl didn't seem like it was going to end anytime soon was probably one more thing that got on his nerves.

Olimar shook his head, snatched up the Pitfall just as Falcon had said, and threw it upwards for some unsuspecting Smasher to get caught in. It was by pure luck that Captain Falcon sidestepped in time to avoid the item; instead of him, Diddy Kong fell victim and became stuck in the ground with a loud thud. He yelped and tried to tug himself free - didn't his rocketbarrel blaster work in Pitfalls? - only to be met by a shower of Pikmin from the little Captain's part. They latched on, scratching and pinching the ape mercilessly with their tiny fists.

How long had they been doing this? About ten minutes? Fifteen? Half an hour? They didn't know, and didn't really _care_. All they could care about was finishing the brawl as fast as possible, getting out for their overdue dinner, and go to bed.

Captain Falcon and Olimar were not coping well with being opponents here; every hit that they scored on the other person was accompanied by either a 'sorry, Olimar' or 'sorry, Falcon'. They even would let each other take a certain item instead of taking it for themselves. And they never tried to damage the other with their most powerful attacks - for example, Olimar refused to use Pikmin Throw on Falcon, and the racer kept the Falcon Punch aimed away from the other man. This was probably one reason why this match had dragged on this long, because neither of them were willing to rack up damage and KO the other to speed up the brawl. This was not uncommon at this point of the tournament, because many Smashers had bonded and formed strong friendships to the point where they couldn't even bear to KO their friends, but it was definitely annoying to some of the lone Smashers and Master Hand himself.

"Smash Ball!" Falcon suddenly shouted, pointing up at the sky. Sure enough, a rainbow-coloured ball with the Smash Brothers symbol was hovering in the air, moving up and down, passing through platforms with ease. Although the two other Smashers spoke no English, they understood perfectly what was going on and leapt for the item. Donkey Kong's fist made contact with the item once, but it hadn't been enough to break it. Captain Falcon shoved the Smasher out of the way, trying to hit the Smash Ball, but this time it had moved out of his grasp. None of them quite dared to jump higher to hit the miracle item, because they were all on their last lives and they could not risk anything that might kill them. Diddy Kong clambered up on one platform, but then stopped, afraid that he might fall off the sides or someone might grab him.

However, one Smasher was trying even harder to get his chance.

Olimar had used his Pikmin chain to clamber up all the platforms until he was at the highest point. But he still couldn't reach the Smash Ball, no matter how many times he used the Pikmin Chain to try to hit it. Not even double-jumping and using the Pikmin chain in succession did the trick. He stood still, panting, feeling disoriented and dizzy; it was hopeless, he was too short to reach the Smash Ball by himself. Even with his six Pikmin, he would never be able to make that one final hit. If he had been allowed _one_ more Pikmin! Just one more, and the Final Smash would be his. He was above all the others in terms of stage position, but they were going to catch up to him soon - his only hope was for the item to fly away untouched-

Two hands suddenly grasped at his legs, tugging him upwards.

Olimar almost cried out with fright, making his six Pikmin huddle closer to him. It was only a few seconds later that he realized that he was hoisted on someone's shoulders, being held up - in the perfect position to break the Smash Ball. When he looked down in disbelief, he found Captain Falcon holding him up as much as he could, allowing Olimar the maximum height. The little Captain could practically touch the _ceiling_ like this...

"Falcon! What are you-"

"Go ahead and take it, Olimar!" Falcon hollered, shifting slightly to evenly distribute the little Captain's weight. "Just take the Smash Ball and be done with it! It'll be better that way; this brawl's gone on too long anyhow!"

"But-"

"Don't worry about me. I'll be all right!" Captain Falcon looked up at him, and Olimar could see that he was actually _smiling_, his smile charming and radiant. He had already good as accepted his defeat. The sight was enough to render him speechless for a couple of seconds, and the little Captain just stared at his friend for a while, confused and lost. "Hurry, Olimar! Before it disappears!"

The Smash Ball was floating out of reach, getting ready to leave the arena; it was already halfway through the ceiling when Olimar grasped it with a Pikmin Chain. The item broke apart with a loud thud, enveloping Captain Olimar with a green glow. Seeing this, Falcon let go of his little friend (gently, of course) so that he could drop down to the main arena below. Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong rushed at the Captain, eager to try to knock the Smash Ball out, but Olimar shielded just in time; he looked up at Falcon again, who winked and gave his trademark salute, then stood quietly waiting for the Final Smash that would knock him out of the brawl.

"I'm sorry, Falcon..." Captain Olimar murmured, and then without another thought unleashed his Final Smash. His worn-down, rickety spaceship crashed down next to him, and he hurriedly clambered aboard, throwing another apologetic glance at the racer before his ship hurtled upwards. Red Bulborbs rained down as he did so, the sky darkening; he could hear the large creatures chomping and trampling all around the arena, and shuddered. They could never harm him, he was the one who summoned those creatures after all - but he'd never liked them, because he remembered how they had feasted upon hundreds of his Pikmin while on the Distant Planet. And now the very same beings were mercilessly throwing around the Smashers, Captain Falcon amongst them; Olimar didn't want to win, not like this, not if it meant that his friend was injured.

Why had Falcon given up the Smash Ball for him? The racer was faster, his legs much longer, his attacks more powerful and he jumped quite a fair distance up in the air. It should have been Falcon who'd taken the item. Olimar could easily dodge a Blue Falcon, so even if the taller Captain had been the one to use his Final Smash, he could have survived that. But with such high percentages of damage and with only one stock each, none of the three Smashers down there had a chance of dodging End of Day. He'd done similar things before, because the surface of the Pikmin planet was dangerous at night and he always had to take flight at sunset.

But he'd never felt quite as guilty as he felt right now, especially that Falcon had sacrificed his chances of winning this brawl for Olimar.

While he was contemplating this, and feeling tremendously ashamed of himself at the same time, he felt the power of the Smash Ball wearing off; his ship began an unsteady, yet lethal, descent onto the ground as soon as this happened. Olimar wished that the ship would end up on the side of the stage, or somewhere on a platform, but knew that the spaceship would always, _always_ end up in the centre of the arena and cause maximum damage in the process. It didn't matter how much he turned the steering wheel. The ship was merely sanctuary for him, as he could not actually _do _anything whilst in there.

The Hocotate spaceship finally landed with a huge crash, falling apart with an explosion; all the three Smashers that had been left behind were immediately flung straight into the air. Diddy Kong squealed as he was violently chucked out of the arena, his last stock falling away from the screen, and Donkey Kong did the same.

And Captain Falcon?

"_Yes_!" The racer screamed as he flew off the stage, following straight with a loud, whooping cheer and a thumbs-up; he had a wide, genuine grin on his face that Olimar couldn't doubt. The six Pikmin (thankfully unharmed) squeaked and ran over to him, clutching onto his legs, but he was too busy staring at Falcon.

But then the taller Captain was flung away even further, his last stock falling away.

"Game... set!" Master Hand's voice boomed from the loudspeakers. "And the winner is... Pikmin and Olimar!"

The Pikmin squealed happily at the announcement, now being accustomed enough to Master Hand's voice so that they understood it meant something good; they began circling him, humming to themselves and cheering their leader. But Olimar stood there, feeling completely drained and a sick feeling in his stomach, until the Shadow Moses R.O.B. wheeled next to him with the log.

* * *

"That was _awesome_," Captain Falcon laughed as the two Smashers walked out of Shadow Moses. "I actually rode on a Bulborb's back. Man, those critters are fast! Yours is the best Final Smash I've experienced since Luigi's Negative Zone. Now _that_ was one hell of a ride. Couldn't sleep for a full week."

Olimar kept on walking, taking the words in yet not wanting to talk to the taller Captain after what he'd done. He'd won the brawl, yes - but he sure didn't feel very happy about it. Fortunately, Falcon had a knack for sensing people's emotions and stopped in his tracks when he saw Olimar's expression. "What's wrong?"

"Why did you give up that Smash Ball to me?" The little Captain asked, sounding crestfallen. "You got there just after me. You can jump higher... you fought and KO'ed more Smashers than I have... you deserved to win, Falcon."

Captain Falcon said nothing, but knelt down to look the little Captain right in the eyes.

"That doesn't matter, Olimar," He said quietly. "KOs don't determine whether a Smasher deserves to win or not, in my opinion. The effort they put into a brawl does. I didn't try very hard in that brawl, you know? You could probably guess that, considering the stocks I had left by the time the Smash Ball appeared. To be perfectly honest, I probably would have grabbed the Smash Ball for myself and try to pull off a Blue Falcon without hitting you - if I hadn't seen you up there." He paused for a couple of seconds, gathering his thoughts.

"What about me?"

"You were trying so hard," The racer said. "no one trying that hard to achieve something should be denied it. That was what I thought. I helped you out, that was all. No big deal. Besides, I'd like to think that I've had a part in your victory as well. That's enough for me." Falcon smiled, his expression sincere and gentle, and stood up again. "Not to mention that I'm a Final Smash maniac. I've experienced just about everyone's, except Mario's, R.O.B.'s and the Trainer's. Yours ranks way up there on my list." He gave his dazzling smile and winked again, making Olimar smile despite himself. "Come on. You must be starving, Olimar. Want to go to Smashville? Or the restaurant? I've got a lot of coins - a great day in the spectator gallery, I daresay..."

Captain Olimar looked up at Falcon, recalling that moment of selflessness; this man was at first glance arrogant, overconfident, and rather brash, but the little man knew that the racer was anything but those factors. Yet he had never witnessed such an act before from anyone, let alone Captain Falcon. To him, this tournament had been close to a series of brutal fights where people often became injured severely; as a peace-loving person, that wasn't his cup of tea at all. Olimar hadn't expected the Smashers to think about anyone much else than themselves and their close friends.

But perhaps, just perhaps... he was wrong. And he hoped that he was.

"What're you thinking?" Falcon called, already a few metres ahead of the little Captain. "Tell you what, let's race to The Roost - last one there has to order the Pigeon Blend from Brewster, drink every last drop _and_ pay the bill!"

"Not fair!" Olimar hollered back, beginning to laugh and sprinting to catch up with the racer. "You run much faster than I do!"

Falcon slowed down ever so slightly at the remark, but kept on running head to head with Olimar; they were both laughing their heads off. The sight was so odd that a group of Smashers returning from Delfino Plaza looked at them strangely, as if they had gone completely mad overnight.

"Now what do you suppose has gone into those guys?" Falco asked, rubbing his leg. "Looks like they're headed towards Smashville."

"Falcon's just being... you know, Falcon." Fox replied idly. "As for Olimar... I have no idea. You think Captain Falcon's really up to something with him in his suite? He hardly ever come out nowadays."

"Look, I don't particularly want to discuss that..."

Fox laughed, looking up at his friend. "I have plenty of things that we can discuss instead of that, if you want. Like yesterday when you told Dr. Mario you broke your leg in two places, and he told you to just stop _going_ to those places-"

"Oh, _shut up_."


	30. 30: Birthday Picnic, Part One

**Author's Note:** OH GOD THIS IS SO LONG WHY IS IT SO LONG THEY HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED ON THE GOD-DAMN PICNIC YET

Um, I returned after a long break. This will likely be the longest story in the whole series, and is a two-part. And it will be likely quite boring.

Just skip this if you want. I'm not proud of it, especially seeing as it took so long to write and nothing happens in it. The fact that my cat was kneading on my stomach for two hours while I wrote this doesn't help. Two. Hours.

x.x

This will be continued with something hopefully more cuter.

* * *

"Let's go for a picnic today," Captain Falcon had suggested to the duo as they were having their breakfast. "you see, it's Jigglypuff's birthday today and she's out shopping with Meta Knight for the morning. And you know that she said she wanted friends along - we can't possibly let such an opportunity slide. There aren't any brawls today either, because it's a Sunday. Six people for a lunch picnic out in Green Greens - doesn't that sound perfect?"

"It sure does." Luigi nodded as he slurped his milkshake. "What do you think, Snake?"

"Wouldn't miss that for the world." The mercenary smiled, ruffling the other's hair lightly between his fingers. He leaned forwards on his table, gazing at Captain Falcon. "Six people, huh? So that's Jigglypuff, Meta Knight, me, you and Luigi - Olimar's coming too, I presume?"

Falcon grinned and leaned back on his seat, sipping his coffee. "Correct. He's just feeding his Pikmin in the supply closet at the moment. They've developed a taste for hotdogs."

"How's he going to cope with them when he goes back to Hocotate? I don't believe that there are hotdogs in his world." Luigi raised the question, stirring his milkshake with the straw and peering inside. "...This milkshake's got chocolate flakes on the bottom. Any chance one of you have a spoon? I don't want to waste those."

Snake looked down at his espresso, and then at the unused teaspoon. He picked it up and offered it to Luigi, who took it with a thanks and began scraping the inside of the milkshake glass with it. "Kind of of odd, don't you think, that Jigglypuff isn't celebrating with Princess Peach, Princess Zelda and the lot?"

"She doesn't want to celebrate elaborately. At least, that's what she told us before dragging Meta along to Smashville for accessories, trophies, an hour in the Coin Launcher and God-knows-what else." Captain Falcon replied idly, putting down his coffee cup and nibbling at his toast and marmalade. "God, I'm famished. I was training with Olimar all yesterday evening. It's not _him_ who does most of the fighting, he isn't hungry or tired at all - anyways, I tried to follow her to see what else she was up to, but then she smacked me on the head with a Fracktail trophy."

The mercenary raised an eyebrow. "...and why would you want to follow her in the first place?"

"That technically makes you a stalker, you know that?" Luigi put in, looking up shrewdly from his milkshake. The racer opened his mouth to protest, but instead decided not to say anything any more and quietly picked up another portion of toast for himself. As much as he liked them, there was just something about the two that was just undoubtedly _creepy_. He could at least understand the mercenary being like such, but he'd never known Luigi to be... like Snake. Maybe he'd rubbed off on the younger Mario brother. Now if Snake could teach Luigi to pull out cardboard boxes out of thin air, the Smashers would have two Snakes running around in the hotel causing chaos wherever they went.

The thought was _daunting_.

"Anyway, we'd better plan what we're going to have for lunch, where we're going to meet up with them and such. Wouldn't want to be late." Snake continued casually, sipping his coffee. "First of all, what are we going to do about lunch?"

Falcon stood up. "Are you going cook your own food? Or buy it along the way?"

"Homemade food tastes the best! Cook our own, of course!" Luigi piped up, and Snake approved of this decision with a nod. "We've got four hours before lunchtime, so if we get cooking now, it'll be enough."

The mercenary stifled a chuckle, putting an arm around Luigi. "And not to mention that we _both_ can cook. What will you and Olimar do? I know that the last time you set foot in the kitchen, you set fire to the beer kegs and were banned from ever setting foot there again by Master Hand-"

"Give me a break already, will you? And stop acting all lovey-dovey around each other. Just _looking_ at you two gives me cavities." The racer groaned, rubbing at his temples in an exasperated manner. "Anyway, you're right, I can't cook and Olimar only likes cooking with his missus. Either that, or he can't at all. So we don't have much choice, do we?" The two shook their heads. "We'll go to Smashville and buy ourselves a picnic. So we'll meet you there... at one o'clock?"

"That seems fine to us." Snake replied. "Come to The Roost."

"Great. We'll be able to meet up with Jigglypuff and Meta Knight then. They know about the picnic, so no need to worry about them two." With that, and a salute, Captain Falcon left in search for Olimar and his Pikmin. Luigi and Snake watched them leave, the former of the two wearing a bemused expression.

"...First Olimar could open his eyes, then he could pull Pikmin out of the kitchen sink... and now he has a missus?"

* * *

The bells struck one o'clock in Smashville after a few hours; two Smashers were sitting in the The Roost, three baskets and a few small shopping bags by their feet, carefully stacked up next to each other. Both were sipping a small coffee, gazing worriedly at the time, not making much conversation at all.

"They're late." The green-clad plumber finally murmured, setting down his cup with a clink. "Where can they be? Suppose they've decided to do away with the whole idea and just wandered off somewhere?"

"Falcon could very well think something like that, Luigi, but I doubt that they've deserted us. Olimar and those little carrots of his would never forgive him." Snake downed the last of his coffee, set it down on his saucer and looked at it wistfully. "I still need more. That espresso in the bar was like water compared to the coffee in this place-" The mercenary trailed off, and looked up to see the silent, calm barman of The Roost arranging the cups and dishes neatly. A smile made its way onto his face, and he leaned forwards.

"Brewster?" The pigeon looked up and stood, waiting for a further inquiry. "If it's not too much trouble, could I have another cup of this blend? It's lovely. And I'm in dire need of more coffee at the moment."

"Certainly, sir." The barman answered, and took up a white china cup, checking it to see if it was clean. "Same blend, did you say?"

"Yes, please."

Brewster needed no more specifications. He nodded and walked over to the coffee machine, picking up a bag of freshly ground coffee beans and carefully measuring out exactly the right amount; he did this so fast, and so skillfully that the two Smashers couldn't help but admire his nimble work. He took out a jar of something thick, white and rather chunky, and spooned out a small amount into the cup. The pigeon then placed the cup underneath the nozzle of the machine, and stood back, waiting for the coffee to come out.

And did a double take.

He quickly checked the machine to see if it was connected to a sufficient electricity supply; it was, but somehow the machine wasn't receiving power. Perhaps there had been a blockage? He doubted that, because he had cleaned it earlier on. Brewster hadn't served many people today, so a blockage was highly unlikely. Maybe something had short-circuited. He looked up apologetically to meet the mercenary's questioning stare.

"I'm terribly sorry," He said. "I don't think this machine is working. It's not getting any power from the electricity socket. Either that, or something's broken."

"How can that be?" Snake asked, raising his eyebrows in surprise. "It was fine an half-hour ago."

Luigi, who had been listening to this silently, eventually leaned forwards. "Could you let me have a look at that machine? I might be able to figure out what's wrong." Brewster nodded, and let the younger Mario brother get near the machine by lifting up a small section of the counter. Luigi entered inside, and turned off the power supply first by using the switch. Having done so, he then bent down to gaze at the machine, first clicking the switch to the 'on' position, and then back to 'off' again. He did this a few times, his eyes closed, listening intently.

"What are you doing?" Snake asked, perplexed at this odd behaviour.

"Listening to the machine. I can figure out what's wrong with a mechanical device just by listening to the inner workings." Luigi replied quietly, still gazing intently at the coffee machine. The mercenary seemed as if he wanted to inquire further, but soon closed his mouth and did not say another word as the younger Mario brother murmured "Mr. L."

Speaking of which, Mario had mentioned that Mr. L was a highly compotant mechanic. And Luigi did seem to have uncanny knowledge of machines and various mechanisms around the hotel that he could identify and utilize easily. If the other side of him provided him with such knowledge, then that explained also why he could pick locks, hack drink machines and figure out where hidden cameras were in a certain suite. All of this he had done at a previous point, but the mercenary had never quite understood why; he did now, and it felt odd. He hadn't ever thought about Mr. L like that.

"I wouldn't use this cable if I were you, Brewster," Luigi was saying, having stopped his test. He was holding the black cable that was protuding from the machine. "A copper wire seems to have been snapped inside. Why, I have no idea, because it shouldn't just break like that. But either way it's completely blocking the system. You've got to get that fixed. I could do it myself, but I don't have any kind of tools..."

Brewster sighed. "Is there really no other way? I only have one other coffee machine, Mr. Luigi, and that may take up to an hour to carry and install back here. And there's the gentleman's coffee I have to make as well-" He gestured apologetically at Snake. Luigi 'hmm'ed for a moment, thinking, before he suddenly smiled.

"I have an idea. Tom Nook stocks cables in Nookington's, doesn't he?"

"He does."

"Nothing inside the machine is broken. It's just the cable that needs replacing. Order one from Nookington's... and I'll replace it for you, Brewster." The pigeon brightened up considerably at this offer, and nodded eagerly, although he still looked rather worried. "As for Snake's coffee... I have enough energy to make a couple of cups, so I'll provide power until the cable arrives. Do hurry - I'll keep this machine supplied with power..."

"Oh, thank you, Mr. Luigi!" Brewster cried, and without further ado, disappeared behind the counter to make a call to Nookington's. Snake watched him leave, before he turned to Luigi with curiosity written all over his face.

"How are you going to provide power for that thing?"

The younger Mario brother merely gave the mercenary another of his soft, enigmatic smiles. He bent down, pulled out the faulty cable from the machine and set it down. He then did something that Snake had never expected in a million years; he simply stuck his left index finger inside where the cable used to be, and stayed absolutely still.

"What the hell are you-" Snake began, but Luigi shushed him silently with his other hand, never looking away from his work. Snake looked down to see an unbelievable sight; Luigi's left hand was beginning to glow a vivid green, little bursts of static erupting from his palm. Slowly, but surely - the coffee machine began working.

The green-clad plumber let out a low, pleasant whistle. "Well, would you look at that." He said happily, showing no obvious signs of discomfort, looking as if he were not even aware of the fact that the whole of his left arm was covered in an electrical charge. "We'll have your coffee in a minute or so. Can you pass me that shopping bag over there? Just need to check up on something."

Snake passed the bag over to the younger Mario brother, still stunned. Was there no limit to the things that Luigi kept concealed from him?

"You can manipulate electricity." He finally stated.

"Indeed, I can."

"Is that... something to do with..."

"Mr. L?" Luigi shook his head, a rather distant smile on his face. "No. I gained this ability at least five years before Mr. L surfaced - me and Mario were in an adventure at the time. I won't go into details - the journey was so long it was unbelievable - but that was where I gained the Thunderhand." He gestured towards his left hand. "That's what it's called. Mario can do something similar, but he can manipulate fire. That explains his Final Smash, doesn't it?"

"True." The mercenary replied, but still gazed at his friend with awe. One of those times, he mentally noted to himself, that he was reminded of how strange and unique the people in this tournament were. It was also one of the only times that he ever felt... _plain_. Sure, he was skilled with various artillery, and was also a master at stealth, but compared to what some of the Smashers could do, that was nothing. He could fight with his bare hands, but that was only close-range, being no match against projectiles. If his weaponary were taken away, and he was left to fight someone else on a completely blank stage with no items, then he would probably end up being defeated in a very painful manner. The best he could do if that ever happened would be evading the opponent until the end of the match - not a very pretty option at all.

Meanwhile, Luigi had remained completely oblivious to the soldier's thoughts, and had presented him with long-awaited coffee; Snake only noticed this after a minute or so, and looked up again, feeling somewhat strange. He actually hadn't thought Luigi could succeed with this plan.

"Go ahead. How does it taste?" The green-clad plumber asked gently, sounding as if he was trying not to be disappointed with the soldier's future reaction. "You've never had coffee made from power provided directly by a human, I daresay?" Snake took a sip; he didn't know whether it was Brewster's special ingredients that did it, or the unique electricity, but the coffee was the most delicious he had ever tasted.

"This tastes great," He exclaimed as he put down the cup and stared at Luigi. "you've got to come to my suite and demonstrate this sometime."

"My pleasure, _ma mandorla_." Luigi chuckled as he returned to the machine again, making yet another cup in advance. The soldier was just about to take another sip when he stopped and looked up at the other with an unfathomable look on his face.

"Did you just call me an almond?"

"Could have." The younger man replied jovially. Further conversation was interrupted, however, as the doors of the cafe burst open. The two looked around to see Captain Falcon with a large package under his arm, and Captain Olimar who was doing something similar; three Pikmin were by his feet, gazing around in awe of this strange area. Falcon spotted the two and jogged towards them, looking very much out of breath.

"So... sorry." He panted, his words coming out in a disconnected rush. "Late... we know... got lost... Blue Falcon... out of petrol..."

Olimar took over, sensing that the racer was in no condition to speak properly. "We were shopping around Smashville for our food. Falcon just insisted that we use the Blue Falcon to get to each and every shop - and then he suddenly steered off to Delfino Plaza so that we could have a wider variety of choices. While we were there... um... the Blue Falcon ran out of petrol, you see. We had to walk fast to get back here." He didn't seem tired; in fact, he actually looked rather pleased. His Pikmin needed a large amount of exercise, which he usually provided with vigorous training, but what with walking so far to get to The Roost, he wouldn't need to do that today.

Snake still looked rather displeased. "I thought you'd never turn up," He said, crossing his arms. "I thought you two were in an accident or something. Do you realize that you're twenty minutes late? Jigglypuff and Meta Knight should be along any minute now, and you could have delayed us for God-knows-how-long."

"Nah. We'd never be in an accident," Captain Falcon grinned, having regained the ability to speak normally. "if I crash the Blue Falcon into a tree,that's a great loss. But if you, for example, fall down Mr. Resetti's mole hill, _that's_ an accident."

This was not an entirely untrue statement by any means, and to be quite frank, anyone would have agreed. Anyone, that was, except for one. As soon as those words had left the racer's lips, there was a low, menacing growl from the corner of the cafe.

"_Graaaah_! What was that you were sayin' about me? You little _twerp_! I oughta _chop you up_ for that!"

"Talk of the _devil_!" Falcon groaned, smacking his forehead and falling to his knees on the floor. "I forgot... today's the day when Mr. Resetti comes over for a coffee, isn't it?"

None of the Smashers answered this question, but looked down at Falcon with a mixture of sympathy and disgust; the only exception to this was Luigi, who simply 'hmph'ed and focused on the coffee machine. His index finger felt rather numb; that was probably the result of using up so much electrical charge in one go. To be perfectly honest, he hadn't actually been entirely confident about his abilities when he'd offered to provide a temporary electricity supply to Brewster. It had been a miracle that this crude method had even worked at all; sticking his fingers into a machine was not the most orthodox thing to do, resistant to electricity or not.

"Mr. Luigi? The cable arrived." Brewster appeared from behind the counter, paying no attention to the mole (who had come over, now raving at the three Smashers mere feet away from them). "And don't mind Mr. Resetti too much. One cup of his favourite blend and he'll settle down."

"I certainly hope so." Luigi muttered, and took the cable with his right hand, examining it for any faults. He found none, but still waited until the machine had finished making another cup of coffee as not to interfere with the process before removing his finger; working quickly, he slotted the cable into the machine with his good hand, twisting it around until it was fully fitted.

"Hey! You! Greenie! Are you even listenin'? I said, _come over here_!" Mr. Resetti hollered from the other side, but Luigi ignored him - although he twitched once with anger. This did not go unnoticed with the mole, and he then proceeded to hurl extremely degrading insults in the younger Mario brother's direction; this again failed to give any reaction, but anyone who knew Luigi could see that he was slowly getting annoyed.

"_Look - over - here_! Have-"

"Have some _lunch_!" Luigi suddenly screamed, tearing open his shopping bag, taking out a package wrapped in tinfoil and stuffing it roughly into Mr. Resetti's mouth. But he had forgotten to let go of the electrical charge in his hand; the tinfoil, which unfortunately conducted electricity, did a _very_ good job of electrocuting Mr. Resetti as soon as the package made contact with his skin. The mole collapsed, the package still crammed in his mouth, his fur singed black and smoking. "Oh... _oops_. And that had the caviar sandwich too..."

"What's this?" A familiar voice called to the Smashers, and they all looked around in surprise. "I don't think _any_ of you are allowed to mistreat Assist Trophies. Mind the Doctor doesn't find out or you'll get in trouble!"

The four all looked around, Luigi wearing an expression of absolute panic; but that faded as he set his eyes upon the person who had just entered. That someone happened to be a tall person wearing a white lab coat and supporting his weight on a black walking-stick. Brewster looked up also, his eyes brightening somewhat at the sight of his customer. "Good morning, Doctor. The usual blend?"

"Good morning to you as well," Dr. Mario replied politely, gazing at the Smashers with a hint of mischief in his eyes. "and yes, the usual blend, please. With one teaspoonful of sugar."

"I... I suggest that you get the cable fitted by a proper electrician later... it's stable for now, but... just in case." Luigi added in meekly, and quickly made his way out from behind the counter, joining the others. Snake quietly offered him his hand, and he took it, grateful that no one was angry with him - he could have killed Mr. Resetti, what had he been thinking?

Brewster nodded and got to work, humming lightly to himself as he turned around and began preparing the coffee. Dr. Mario kept on smiling at the Smashers, showing no sign of hostility or anger; even the two who were rather uncomfortable with the Doctor relaxed and gazed at him, wondering what he was going to say. "I know I just said that none of you were allowed to mistreat Assist Trophies... but I'm willing to overlook this one. In fact, Luigi, I congratulate you." Dr. Mario chuckled. "Mr. Resetti had it coming for a while. Well done." He winked, tipped his head-mirror in a respectful gesture and said a brief hello to all of the other Smashers - and then walked over to a spare chair, settling down easily. Brewster handed him his coffee, and then returned to the counter, beginning to polish the cups with a dishcloth. All this was done with an air of calm professionalism - not to mention a degree of friendliness between Dr. Mario and Brewster. Both were infamous for being shy, withdrawn and difficult to talk to, so this was a pleasant surprise.

"Wow." Captain Falcon whistled as they made their way out of the cafe. "That was unexpected. I mean... Dr. Mario's such a _quiet_ person. I've never seen him go out or talk with anyone that much."

"The Doctor's a good man." Snake replied, and Luigi nodded in full agreement. "And he actually can be quite mischevious, you know."

* * *

"Snake, be patient."

"I don't think they're ever going to turn up. It's been precisely five minutes."

"Snake, for _God's sake_."

"Well, I can't help it. I haven't seen them anywhere, even though I have perfect eyesight. What do you say to that?"

Olimar was about to question this, when he was distracted by the sound of a female voice calling to them. He looked around - only to find himself being pinned underneath a very hyperactive pink Pokemon with a handbag who had just flown towards him.

"There you are!" Jigglypuff squealed, who had quite literally spotted the four lurking in a corner and had leapt upon the first one she had seen. "We couldn't find you at The Roost... Everyone was crowded around a body on the floor. Apparently he was electrocuted. It took me ages to ask Brewster where you lot went - my goodness, Luigi, are you all right?"

The green-clad plumber shuffled his feet, looking shifty. "I'm... I'm fine. So did he tell you that we were here?"

"Dr. Mario told us. Such an observant man." Meta Knight answered, who had just caught up with his girlfriend and was lugging two large shopping bags. He didn't seem tired at all, despite being with Jigglypuff the entire morning, and actually looked quite pleased to be with the Smashers. He was a loner by nature, yet he never could mind the company of those five - perhaps he had learned to enjoy being with people?

Captain Falcon raised an eyebrow (although this went unseen) as he helped a very dusty and very stuned Olimar to his feet. "How did he see us? That was unexpected..."

"He knows many things." Luigi replied vaguely, with a small smile, and then looked up. "Well, now that we're all here, shall we leave for Green Greens? Hey - what - Snake, watch that basket!" For one of the baskets had suddenly tilted to one side, threatening to spill the contents onto the ground. The mercenary quickly bent down, taking up the basket in his arms, hastily repositioning the cloth that lay over the top.

"Hungry, are you? Just wait a minute or so, okay?" He coaxed in an unusually soft voice, making everyone (except for Luigi) stare in surprise.

"What are you talking about?" Falcon asked. "What have you got in there?"

"Want a look?" Luigi smiled, which resulted in a nod from everyone. He pulled back the cloth to reveal the two kittens he and Snake had tamed, who were squirming around as they sensed too many unfamiliar people around their surroundings; the two Captains stared with fascination, while Jigglypuff let out a high-pitched squeal. Meta Knight looked at them, seemingly without any expression, but one could see that he was highly interested at the presence of those unexpected guests.

Luigi and Snake shared a knowing smile as they covered up the basket again and held it close. "Cute, aren't they?"

"Whose are they?"

"Master Hand and Crazy Hand owns them. They let us see those kittens, and well... we got really attached to them, see." Luigi explained, scratching his head. "The ginger one's affectionate with me, and the grey one's the kitten in love with Sna-"

"Cut it _out_ already!" Snake cut through his words, although a smile was breaking on his face. He reached up to ruffle the other's hair playfully. "Your one's the female, it's meant to love you more than my one does-"

Captain Falcon sighed and slapped his forehead.

"They're so cute, though." Jigglypuff was still looking at the basket longingly. "How old are they?"

"Seven weeks."

"Not to interrupt, you lot, but are we going to Green Greens? My Pikmin are hungry. Look..." Sure enough, the Pikmin were tugging on his spacesuit and chirping in an oddly insistent way. "And I daresay most of you are, too."

Meta Knight nodded in agreement. "Sure, let's all go to Green Greens. Only one problem, though; the terrain is really uneven. We can't spread a picnic mat on there and hope to sit down without someone falling towards Whispy Woods at twelve miles per hour. Unless anyone wants to get severely concussed..."

"...Oh." Captain Falcon replied, sounding uncharacteristically meek and crestfallen; this wasn't what he had prepared for. His shoulder slumped forwards a little. "What... can we do, then? Is the ground really that uneven?"

"It shouldn't be," Olimar put in. "I take my Pikmin there often. It wasn't that uneven. The ground is even enough for two or three people to sit on, at least."

"But there's six of us."

"I'll tell you what, let's arrange the mats into a triangular position. Three points, each with two people; we can sit a distance apart and place all our other possessions in the middle as to confuse the people watching us from the security cameras. We'll still be able to call and talk to each other without one of us tumbling towards Whispy Woods." Meta Knight chuckled. "Remember, our priority is Jigglypuff... so if something happens, we must protect her at all costs."

"Oh, Meta, _stop_ it!" Jigglypuff giggled, blushing crimson. The others simply shook their heads and initiated a mass face-to-palm reaction.


	31. 31: Birthday Picnic, Part Two

**Author's Note:** Another completely nonsensical chapter alert, people! This is the aftermath of the picnic. Lots of really confusing things happen. Contains some kitten cuteness, crab battle and pigeon milk. And this chapter marks the point where a certain event hinted since the very beginning of this fic happens.

If you don't know what crab battle is, search for it in youtube. Recommended for MGS3 fans.

**To Dark Enchanter, and everyone who's paid attention to WtCB since the beginning: Pay attention to Snake's sandwich.**

* * *

The kittens were finally let out of the basket as Snake and Luigi both settled down on their picnic mat. They sniffed the air casually, and hopped out of their sanctuary to gaze curiously around at this big, wide world they were in. Luigi smiled and stroked his kitten on the head at the sight; it squealed and batted at his hand with a paw.

"They're very curious, aren't they?"

"Makes perfect sense for them to be." Snake replied, taking out the lunchboxes. "This is the first time they were let outside. It must look unfathomably huge to them. It's lucky we're away from Whispy Woods - we don't want it to go around dropping apples on the kittens, _do_ we?"

"I don't want to think about it." Luigi replied, shuddering; but he soon relaxed and accepted his lunchbox from the mercenary with a thanks, patting the ground next to him. Snake took this as an invitation to sit down, and gladly did so, opening his own lunchbox and gazing at the food inside. "Pity about the caviar sandwich, though."

"I'm not a big fan of caviar," The mercenary replied, taking out a sandwich filled with lettuce and some kind of greenish pate. "it's too much of an 'aquired taste' for me. I like my share of food, but that one I've never managed to really like. I mean, fish eggs - just doesn't taste right to me, you know?"

Luigi glanced at him briefly before opening his lunchbox and taking out a bottle of tomato sauce. "Says the person who tried to eat Pikmin. What's in that sandwich anyway? Is it like a meat substitute?"

"Nope."

"Well, what then?"

"Ah," Snake's eyes glittered in a mischievous manner. "you're familiar with the term 'mystery meat', right? I've got this one from a certain source, as I suppose that you understand that I do like to try unusual foods. I just decided to be creative and brave, I daresay - this meat's really rather tough, but I've made it into a mince so that it doesn't matter. Tastes decent, too."

Luigi was about to investigate a little further into this matter, but then decided against it. He wasn't cruel enough to disrupt and possibly put the mercenary off his food. Although the sandwich filling didn't look anywhere near appetizing to him, he simply shrugged it off, thinking that if Snake liked it, it was fine. Besides, the kittens were hungry too - they had returned to the two men, sitting by their feet, meowing insistently for their share of food. One hopped up onto his lap and stared at him with large blue eyes, beginning to knead at his chest with its two front paws in a pleading manner.

"All right, all right, food coming up!" He couldn't help but chuckle at the kitten's behaviour; he reached up to tickle it behind one ear, and the kitten reacted by stretching its slender body and nuzzling into Luigi's hand. Still smiling, he reached for the spare basket and pulled out two small tins of cat food. "Snake, where's the tin opener?"

"Right over here." The mercenary replied, putting aside his sandwich and digging around in his pockets. He soon pulled out said contraption and gave it to Luigi. The younger Mario brother took it with a thanks, and then opened the tins, pouring each into two separate bowls. He then placed the bowls on the picnic mat, smiling as he watched the kittens clamber over (almost whimpering with happiness) and eagerly tuck into the food.

"Looks like it's finally my turn to eat something." Luigi muttered as the kittens settled down, happily chewing on their treats. He took out a sandwich with a white paste-like filling and bit into it, a look of pure bliss on his face. "Mmm..."

"What have you got in there?" Snake inquired, finishing off his first sandwich and taking a large swig out of a cider bottle.

"Crab meat steeped in melted butter and garlic. Delicious."

Snake froze. "_What _meat?"

"Crab meat." The younger Mario brother looked at him oddly, taking another bite out of his sandwich. "Snake? Are you feeling all right?"

The mercenary gave no answer. He looked away, with a completely perplexed expression on his face, still looking as if he had not completely understood what was going on. He grasped his head, a low groan escaping him, trying figure out what the strange confusing feelings stirring in his head meant; Luigi stopped eating and looked at him again, frowning. "Snake?"

"Urgh..." Snake growled, his hands tightening around his hair. "Crab..."

"Huh?"

"Crab... _Crab battle_!" Snake suddenly screeched, turning towards Luigi and flying into the startled man with force, knocking them both sideways. "_Crab battle_!"

"Snake? Snake, no! _Snaaaaaaake_!"

* * *

While this was going on, the other four Smashers watched them, completely deadpan. Meta Knight silently placed his hands over Jigglypuff's eyes (which she was grateful for) and carried on watching Snake attempt to wrestle the crabmeat sandwich from Luigi's hands. Captain Olimar took one look, shuddered slightly, and then blew his whistle once to call his Pikmin closer to him. Captain Falcon, on the other hand, was watching the mercenary and the green-clad plumber with unconcealed interest.

"You think they're trying to tell us something?"

"I doubt that." Olimar said quietly, holding out his hands as his three Pikmin sprinted towards him. He bent down to quickly whisper something in their ear, and watched with satisfaction as they scuttled away. "Knowing Snake, if he was trying to express something to Luigi, he would simply blurt it out in words. Not like _that_." He pointed to the scene before them. "It seems more like he's having a temporary fit."

"Why can't anyone else in the tournament be like that?" Falcon asked, more to himself than anyone else, still gazing at Snake and Luigi (the former had pinned Luigi down, but the younger Mario brother had decided to curl up, defending his sandwich) and sighing. "I must admit that it's oddly hilarious. Except that there's no laughter involved."

Olimar smirked, and sat down again as the Pikmin made their way to Snake and Luigi's picnic mat. "No laughter, more eye-candy?"

"Something like that." The racer fished around in his bag for something, and having found said object, stood up. "Stay there, Olimar. Just want to take some pictures of this... _moment_... and a few of Meta and Jigglypuff as well. I'll be back soon."

"It isn't like you'll be killed during a photoshoot." The little captain replied haughtily, but kept a close eye on Falcon just in case.

* * *

"Snake, get off!" Luigi was hollering, while the mercenary carried on wrestling him into the ground whilst raving and screaming random phrases. The kittens had jumped back in alarm, and sat a distance away, bewildered and unmoving. He had absolutely no idea what had come over Snake; he wasn't hurting him, but it was certainly odd. What was so wrong about his sandwich? Wasn't the mercenary one for exotic foods?

"Behave yourself, will you two?" A bemused voice shook both of them out of their 'moment'. The light of madness vanished from Snake's eyes, and he looked around, staring into Captain Falcon's smiling face. What had he been doing? Panic sprung to his mind; what if he'd hurt Luigi again, he couldn't have, not again-

"Snake?" Luigi's soft voice called his name; he looked into the green-clad plumber's eyes, still frozen in position, inwardly fearful of what emotions those eyes might hold. But Luigi didn't look angry; perplexed, confused, certainly - but not angry. He tilted his head to the side as the mercenary carried on looking at him, and then did something unexpected: he smiled gently as an indication that he was fine.

How could Snake not help smiling back?

"Get a room." Captain Falcon chuckled, producing a small pink camera from his pocket. "But before that, look over here and smile, lovebirds. Have to commemorate the occasion, don't you agree?"

Luigi and Snake stayed completely stationary for a full ten seconds; but then, they suddenly put their arms around each other's shoulders and turned to face the camera with a cheeky smile and a victory sign. The racer laughed happily as a very satisfactory 'click' sounded from the camera, signaling that the photo had been taken successfully.

"Beautiful," He remarked humorously as he took a few more shots in various angles. "this is priceless. I'll get printouts of this later."

"As long as you don't spread it around the hotel." Luigi put in pointedly, pouting lightly. "I'll pull my Poltergeist 2000 on you if that ever happens."

Snake grinned, his arm still draped around the other's shoulders. "What's so wrong with that? Spread the _love_, Luigi - I'm still your wife, remember? There's no need to be so _embarrassed_-"

"Snake, be quiet already!" Luigi punched the other's arm playfully, sounding rather bashful but not at all offended. Captain Falcon shook his head, still smiling, and quietly departed with his trademark salute. When he was gone, the two calmed down and regained their composure, falling silent. The kittens came and sat down next to them again, twitching their tails, begging to be held. They did so, stroking their heads and under their chins to soothe them. The grey kitten made a soft, chirping noise; Luigi interpreted this as a sound of pleasure, and encouraged the mercenary to rub its belly. Meanwhile, his own ginger kitten butted at his side gently with its head, signalling affection.

They'd grown so much already.

"What was the 'crab battle' thing all about then?" Luigi broke the silence.

Snake grasped his head. "God, Luigi, I don't _know_. It just... came to me. I can't explain it. It must have been one of my turns." He looked over at the green-clad plumber, apology written all over his face. "I didn't hurt you, did I? If I did, I swear..."

He was interrupted by the three Pikmin, who had arrived onto their picnic mat without getting noticed, and were jumping up and down in a bid to get their attention. Luigi bent down, trying to work out what they were talking about.

"Is Olimar in trouble?" No. "Is someone dead?" No. "Did Falcon suffer from a spontaneous heart attack?"

The red Pikmin face-palmed; this was such a human-like gesture that the two Smashers were quite baffled at first. Perhaps they'd picked it up from their master. The three Pikmin hopped over to the basket and began to poke at it, chirping loudly.

"Oh, you want some food?"

They all nodded. Luigi smiled, and brought out a small, greenish cake from the depths of the basket, handing it gently to the Pikmin, and looked at his friend. "Have you got anything to give to them?"

"Only this." Snake took out a pocketknife and cut one of his sandwiches into quarters, giving it to the Pikmin. "I'm not for sweet cakes, but then you lot like different foods, so I'm thinking that you'll be fine with this one. Alright?"

The Pikmin carried their load away after squeaking a small thanks to the two. Snake brushed his hands and looked at Luigi. "What cake is that anyway?"

"A 1-UP cake." Luigi chuckled, taking said cake out of the basket to show the mercenary (who looked highly intrigued, although disturbed at the same time). "It tastes nice and savoury. And it's healthy. Want to try some?"

"Hell yeah." The mercenary reached out a hand, but then drew it back, looking wary. "It hasn't got _eyes_, has it?"

"Shush."

* * *

Meanwhile, Meta Knight and Jigglypuff were having a very different time.

"What does my cake look like, Meta?" The Pokemon quipped, eager to see said confection; but the masked knight simply smiled and offered her more strawberry cupcakes. They were small, appetizing cakes that Meta Knight had taken much time to create; and plus, they were sweet enough to satisfy his girlfriend's palate. Jigglypuf accepted one happily, picking off the strawberry from the cake and nibbling on it daintily.

"Are you going to be able to manage birthday cake at all?" The knight asked, looking at the pink Pokemon with fondness. "That's five already you've eaten."

"Anything if it's with you. Plus, we're going to have to leave some room for it, won't we? We need Snake, Luigi, Falcon and Olimar with us. If we sit around Whispy Woods just for the cake, I bet we aren't going to fall down anywhere..."

Meta Knight laughed. "You have an answer for everything, don't you?" When Jigglypuff winked and nodded cheekily, he rummaged around in one of the shopping bags, eventually bringing out a wrapped bar of chocolate. "Is that so? Then, can you provide an answer to my question?"

"I'm sure I can."

The blue knight fell silent for a while; he fiddled delicately with the edge of the picnic mat before stating in a quiet voice: "How much do you think I care about you?"

How was she going to answer this question? If she answered 'A lot', then she would end up sounding arrogant. She wasn't sure how much her presence and personality was valued to anyone, even Meta Knight. But if she answered 'quite a bit' or anything to that effect, she was going to sound equally as insensitive. This was such an enigmatic question that she didn't quite know what to make of it. Had she been asked something that required general knowledge, she would have been able to provide some kind of reply - but this question, admittedly, she had no idea what to say as an answer.

"I've asked you something tactless. I apologize." Meta Knight said after a minute's silence. "But... do you want to know, nonetheless?"

A nod. The other nodded in reply, and held up the bar of chocolate, unwrapping it. The bar was a fairly large one, divided into eight rows with four squares on each row. "Do you like chocolate?"

"I do."

Meta Knight broke off two rows of chocolate from the bar, and took the small piece for himself while handing over the rest of the bar to Jigglypuff. The latter accepted, feeling rather bewildered; what did chocolate have to do with anything? "Um... thank you..."

"Let's pretend that this chocolate bar is a representation of my mind," Meta Knight said quietly. "if we assume that, then this bit here-" He held up the smaller piece that he had in full view, and leaned back slightly. Jigglypuff watched, paying close attention to every word. "-represents all the care I have for every other person and every object in this entire universe, along with the occasional stray thought or so."

"What does this bit represent, then?" Jigglypuff asked, the rest of the bar clutched in her hands, although she felt that she knew what he was going to say. Meta Knight gave her a long, hard gaze, not unkind but devoid of much emotion, before he looked away and bit into his piece.

"... You." He said simply after he'd savoured the first square. He still did not look at her, but Jigglypuff still realized that he was sincere; she nestled closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder, smiling gently.

"Thank you, Meta." She said quietly, and that was enough.

There was comfortable silence for a while, as the two nibbled on the chocolate quietly. The pink Pokemon looked up at the sky - for a December afternoon, it was surprisingly warm and dry. There was only the occasional light breeze, the skies clear and blue above them without any clouds.

"It's a beautiful day." The blue knight commented suddenly, having observed the same thing as she had. Jigglypuff nodded also, staying still for another moment before looking back towards her boyfriend.

"Meta?"

"Hmm?"

"How much do you care for Kirby? I mean, you've known him for longer, you've taught him many things..."

Meta Knight thought over this for a moment. "Kirby? I must say that he occupies an entirely different part of my subconscious. I'm his mentor and teacher. I care for him... like a parent cares for a baby. Which he _is_, really." He chuckled, rubbing the back of his head. "That's a rather different topic."

"Fair enough." Jigglypuff kissed him lightly on the cheek, and reached for a silver thermos bottle that stood by the side. "Coffee, love?"

Meta Knight nodded, and promptly received a hot cup of steaming, rich coffee from the Pokemon, taking a sip. "Mmm. Is this the blend you ordered from Brewster while I was outside?"

"Yes."

"Tastes nice. What's in it?"

"Pigeon milk."

The masked knight's eyes almost bulged out with shock; he just refrained from spitting out the mouthful of coffee he'd just taken. "Pigeon _what_?"

Unbeknownst to the couple, a certain racer was behind them, grinning ear to ear as he took a couple of snapshots and turned away to go back. _Those two. They make a great picture._

* * *

Captain Falcon checked idly through the snapshots he'd taken during his little trip, skimming from one picture to the next on the camera, smiling and nodding in satisfaction. Olimar, who had been watching him with vague interest, sat up and gazed at the racer intensely.

"Got the shots you wanted?"

"Definitely. They're pure masterpieces. I'll be printing them out later." Falcon replied happily, tucking away the camera in his pocket and grabbing a sandwich from his shopping bag. "God, at last. I'm starving!"

The little captain raised his eyebrows just slightly, indicating his skepticism. He didn't say anything, but knew that Captain Falcon's claim was absurd; before he'd decided to go on that little spree, he'd downed a can of beer and a bacon sandwich. Olimar, who actually hadn't stopped eating at all since they had first sat down, was halfway through his first sandwich and had taken only a few sips of his juice. Both males had purchased their sandwiches separately, in the size that suited them, so there really wasn't much excuse for the taller man's almost constant hunger.

"Is that your first sandwich?"

Captain Olimar nodded somewhat half-heartedly. "As a matter of fact, it is. Your ability to ingest a can of beer and two sandwiches in the space of fifteen minutes and still claim to be starving is frankly, astonishing." The words were said with a hint of irony, which did not go unnoticed with the racer.

"Hey, I fight a lot. I use up more energy than many people in this tournament alone," Falcon protested. "and besides, if I don't have enough food to match up with my physique, how am I going to keep myself from collapsing in the middle of a brawl? I'm a _guy_. There's no need to diet when it comes to guys."

"Let's see if you can say that when you're forty." Olimar replied, although his voice wasn't unkind. He popped the rest of his sandwich in his mouth and washed it down with the apple juice, watching his Pikmin. "You're not going to stay muscular like that for ever, you know."

The racer looked over with a small smile. "No need to be that discouraging, Olimar. I've got to maintain it for as long as possible, don't you agree? Here I am... thirty-four years old, probably one of the oldest in this tournament - heck, I'm older than _Snake_. And I haven't even got a steady partner. It might just be a little late for me to find someone, but I've got to keep trying, haven't I? I want someone waiting for me back home whenever the day's done. Someone who I can take care of and take care of me in return."

"I wouldn't call thirty-four _old_," The little captain replied. "I was around thirty years old when I met my wife. And look at Ganondorf, for instance. He's about a few light years older ahead of you in age and doesn't have a partner, either."

"But he doesn't care very much, does he? Unlike me and those lot over there-" Falcon gestured towards the two other pairs. Meta Knight and Jigglypuff were engaged deep in conversation, their foreheads touching, talking in low voices. Snake and Luigi were playing with their kittens; one batted at the younger Mario brother's mustache with its paw, and he laughed, chucking the kitten lightly underneath the chin. Snake's kitten was docile and calm, watching its sibling curiously, and purring as the mercenary's hand stroked its coat.

"What _youth_! What _energy_!" Captain Falcon proclaimed dramatically at the sight; Olimar looked at him, and then promptly burst out laughing. It was impossible to not laugh when near the racer and he knew it. They just sat there for quite a time, laughing; that was, until the three Pikmin returned to the picnic mat triumphantly. They each appeared to be carrying something in their little arms, and Olimar sat up, smiling as he held out his arms to the Pikmin.

"Had fun?" The red one squeaked. "Good, good. Let's check what you've got, then... Well done, you can rest now. Have a bite to eat - look in the pink bag. It's a bit cold, but I'm sure you'll like it..."

The Pikmin willingly handed over their goods to the little captain, nestled into the pink bag and settled down to nibbling at a hotdog that Olimar had bought in the shops earlier. They were chattering and squealing excitedly as they did so, delighted that they were actually having hotdogs for breakfast _and_ lunch - it was their lucky day. Falcon, however, stared incredulously at the things the Pikmin had brought over.

"Oh... no." He breathed out, a horrified look on his face. "Oh... God, _no_."

"What?"

"They... bagged them from those four over there! Look, that's one of Meta Knight's pizza slices that he made for Jigglypuff! And this is a 1-UP cake from Luigi! And... _and_... I don't know what the hell _that greenish thing_ is, but from the look of it, it's one of Snake's screwed-up sandwiches!" The racer inhaled sharply, looking anguished. Olimar backed away, feeling nervous.

"Are you crazy, Olimar? You can't teach your Pikmin to go _begging_ for food! That's just disgraceful!"

"I had to do it in the Pikmin planet!"

"Yes, but not _beg_ for it! I honestly-"

A tumbleweed rolled by and hit the taller captain on the face, cutting off his words. Olimar laughed in an oddly demonic manner and resumed sorting through the goods, thinking about which one to try first. "Oh, shiny green 1-UPs..."

The three Pikmin chirped inside the bag.

"Ketchup?"

An eager nod.

* * *

After the initial picnic was over, the six gathered underneath Whispy Woods to properly congratulate Jigglypuff and to take part in the cake-cutting ceremony. They had gathered all their mats to join them together, providing stable cover and a comfortable seat at the same time. The cake was decorated to look like a Smash Ball, with Jigglypuff's name and 'Happy Birthday' written in curvy handwriting; Meta Knight had made it himself, and the Pokemon thought it was one of the sweetest things he'd ever done. They all sang 'Happy Birthday' for her - in extremely varying tones of voice, no doubt - and Pokemon ultimately dubbed Luigi and Meta Knight as the best singers amongst the men.

"But that's unfair," Captain Falcon protested. "Luigi's Italian. I'm sure he's sung a lot before. Most of us haven't. Just admit it, you _were_ biased-"

"Falcon, that's very stereotypical," The younger Mario brother protested. "It really isn't like I sing opera. If I did, I would have dedicated an entire... _opera act_ to Jigglypuff if that was the case!" But Luigi's complaints were very good-natured, and he playfully nudged the taller captain's shoulder as he did so.

"Behave, you two." The pink Pokemon stated dryly, but she was smiling. "It was hard enough to decide already with all of your voices being different. You'll be the death of us!"

"Worry not, my lady." Falcon gave her his charming smile, winking softly. Meta Knight glanced at him, and instinctively nuzzled closer to Jigglypuff; he knew it was unreasonable, but it was probably inevitable that he found other males being around his girlfriend rather unnerving. He changed the subject.

"Go on, love. Take a deep breath." Jigglypuff did exactly that, and blew out the candles on the cake all at once. The others all applauded as Meta Knight raised his mask slightly and kissed her on the lips, blushing slightly as he did so; Captain Falcon and Snake wolf-whistled before collapsing into laughter.

"What did you wish for, love?"

Jigglypuff winked. "If I tell, it won't come true."

"Well, I won't tell you what I wished for, then." Meta Knight replied, a rare glint of mischief in his eyes. "Come on. Shall we cut the cake?"

They did so, and everyone had a slice each. The cake was well-made, with a hint of orange zest and sweet cream. The icing was sweet and buttery, but not so much that they ended up feeling sick; the masked knight had obviously taken the main picnic into consideration before making the cake. Olimar fed the Pikmin little slithers of icing and some crumbs to keep them happy, and they settled down on the corner of the mat, full and happy.

They liked being full.

After eating so heartily, and the day being so nice, it was inevitable that the Smashers eventually all lay down on the mat to rest. Even the boisterous kittens had calmed down, nuzzling between Snake and Luigi to curl up and sleep. Captain Falcon stretched out, linking his fingers and resting his head on his hands.

"I don't know what you lot are thinking, but it's a _really_ nice day today!"

* * *

Meanwhile, back in the hotel, Falco, Princess Zelda and Princess Peach were in the maintenance room, checking the security cameras in Green Greens.

"Aww, look," Peach and Zelda squealed, pointing to security camera five. All the Smashers had fallen asleep, the warm afternoon being too enticing to resist. Snake and Luigi were asleep in a soft, dozy nap, the latter's head resting on the mercenary's shoulders, two small kittens curled up by their heads. The mercenary's features were softened in sleep, and the princesses had never seen anything that was so contradictory and cute at the same time. "They're so _sweet_..."

Falco was checking the other camera, feeling slightly uneasy. "Should we be peeking like this? I don't think we should be checking those ones... let them sleep, we ought to be checking around Norfair..."

Peach sighed. "You're right. Yoshi and Kirby were meant to be training there, weren't they?" She reluctantly turned to the other channel, focusing her attention on Norfair. Sure, Kirby was there, trying out a Dragoon by himself and practicing with a home-run bat. However...

"Wait." Zelda pointed, a confused expression on her face.

"...Where's Yoshi?"


	32. 32: Turtledove

**Author's Note:** This took a long time to write. It's more of an animal-lover kind of thing than anything else. I wrote it to explain what happened to the dove Luigi and Snake rescued in the 'Afternoon Appointment' chapter, and partly to express my surprise over an incident that happened last week - I was listening to Pink Floyd and reading a newspaper, lying on my bed, when I spotted my cat sitting on my bed and watching me. I put down the newspaper and looked back at him. Now my cat's an affectionate one by nature, but he did something rather remarkable. He came up to me and brushed his paw against my cheek, just like the way I'd stroke him sometimes. I immediately felt very foolish for not being able to purr like he did.

And I'm not the only one who's experienced such things. Animals are highly intelligent and sometimes even seem to harbour a kind of love for humans, in the case of a well-cared pet. This chapter is a sidestory and takes place a day or two after the picnic. There's no Snake in here.

WtCB will end in a few chapters. I plan to explain what happened to Yoshi (yes, he _did_ get eaten) in the chapter after next. After that, there will be a cuteness chapter, then the ending, and an epilogue. That's the way I have it sorted out. Next chapter will probably be a bit short. Until then, enjoy the Dr. Marioness.

* * *

It was a quiet life, one would think, to work with animals. Especially by oneself. It would be peaceful. No disruptive noises, no worried assistants peeking in every now and then to inquire about something, and most definitely, no words nor people who could hurt one person with their careless remarks.

Dr. Mario knew that this wasn't the case. Wild animals would always be wild animals, and the only real way to get along with them - or at least get them to accept his existence as a non-dangerous, helpful one - was to leave them as they were right now. This applied to all animals, not just injured ones in need of help, and the Doctor always went by this principle no matter what happened. If an animal was hostile to him, then he would leave the creature be quietly, not trying anything else except in the case when it needed some kind of treatment.

But sometimes - just sometimes - this policy went ignored. And it wasn't by him either.

Dr. Mario's viruses were notable examples; they were initially specimens from the wild, brought over for study. The Doctor had never tried to keep them as pets for himself, but soon they'd responded to his gentleness by refusing to leave his side. Every now and then, they would go out for a stroll and a trip to scavenge some food; but that was usually only when the Doctor was working late and forgot to do anything else. Otherwise, they stayed remarkably docile and would stay curled up by his feet all night. They followed him everywhere, staying back as to not get in his way, but always chattering happily as they scuttled behind him. Dr. Mario would never lose his temper with them, and they knew it all right.

The same process was happening to one other animal in his office at this moment.

Of course, it was the fantail dove that Luigi and Snake had brought over a fortnight or so ago; its wing had repaired by now, and it was beginning to preen and toddle about again. For the first few days, the Doctor had received a few scratches and nips from the irritated dove, for it had simply decided to peck at anything at sight. Dr. Mario could understand this - it had been a free spirit mere days ago, before something had happened that had near-crippled its ability to fly. But even then, that hadn't worried him much; the ability to fight back indicated a strong will to be free, to be back into the wild, and that was the very thing that the Doctor wanted of animals in a cage. Its wild tendencies had not been broken apart by captivity, and that was a fine thing. It meant that it would be able to settle back into the wild again. The dove refused to accept its cage as a home, and although it stopped thrashing around after the first day, constantly paced around and squawked. As much as the kind doctor wanted to do so, he could not let the bird out of the cage so soon - that would result in the dove trying to fly around, and its wing being possibly dislocated. That meant secondary infection setting in. And when that happened, that dove wasn't going to fly anywhere ever again.

It was different now. After the first week, the dove's wing had set properly, and was beginning to repair. It wouldn't be dislocated or otherwise be bent out of shape now; it would also allow the dove to fly around in a reasonably low height. The plaster would be too heavy for the bird to try anything else anyway. So he quickly swopped the cage for a wooden perch, allowing the dove to move around his office and feed from a separate food bowl. This arrangement proved to be a success - the dove could swoop up a little as to get on its perch, and when it wasn't doing so, it would explore the Doctor's office by fluttering from shelf to shelf. He had made sure that no bottles of medication were visible in his office prior to this, so that the dove couldn't get into any potentially fatal accidents. He had also lined the shelves with rough felt so that the bird could get a proper grip on them. Three days passed like this without a hitch, and the dove calmed down. All was good in that aspect.

But the Doctor was rather worried.

Wild animals belonged in the wild, and therefore he never tried to actively come into contact with the animals he supervised. He hadn't worried much about the dove, because although it didn't try to harm him intentionally, it still wanted freedom. There was no need to interact with it, force it to sit still when the winged being was in the cage. But now that the dove was actually out of that birdcage, the Doctor inevitably had to make some kind of contact with it, whether it be filling the food bowl or nursing its bandages. At first the dove had paid him little to no attention, only glancing at him every now and then; but as the days passed, it began to look at him more and more, gazing at his kind face with its liquid black eyes. Dr. Mario's gentle, coaxing voice also seemed to have a pleasant effect on the bird, who would often sing a song at dawn and coo quietly whenever it was well-fed. The Doctor would sometimes reply back once with a soft, warbling whistle, which never failed to get the dove's attention - when this happened, the dove would look at him for a long time with a watchful gaze. Although Dr. Mario never tried to make active contact with the bird, it sought him out on its own; whenever he was working, the dove would gaze down at the paperwork and sometimes flutter downwards to tap the wooden desk with its little feet, trying to get his attention. It had progressed to the point where it would swoop down to feed out of the Doctor's hand when he had a palm full of birdseed, trying to fill the food bowl.

Now this would normally be regarded as a friendly gesture of trust. But Dr. Mario didn't want to tame this creature - what if its wing healed fully, and he tried to let it go, only to have the bird come back to him every time? He didn't want to keep the dove as a pet. Such a beautiful creature belonged in the wild, where it could live happily without the presence of humans. If he tamed it now, it wouldn't survive in the wild for more than a few days. But then, he was much too gentle to push the bird away every time, especially when it came to him on its own. When he really needed personal space, he would shake his head and push the dove away slightly; this message got through without confusing the creature.

Yet the truth was that he couldn't do it forever. He even left his windows open when he went out, knowing that the windows were too high to reach at this time - but he hoped that the breeze would remind the bird of the world outside, and when it was healthy enough to look after itself, escape through the window easily. That was how humans had to 'let go' of the animals they were caring for, in Dr. Mario's opinion - without fuss, with only a mutual acceptance of their different natures. But the dove had not tried to escape yet, nor did it seem to really pay attention to the window at all.

This was worrying.

Snake and Luigi had both visited a few times, but the fantail dove remained rather neutral to them. It would sit on its perch quietly, staying still and observing the two with a beady eye. It didn't try to attack them at all, and calmly tolerated the two Smashers' attempts to pet it or talk to it soothingly. Dr. Mario could see that the dove was clearly more fond of Luigi than Snake, perhaps of the younger Mario brother's resemblance to himself; either that, or it was his soft, placid tone of speaking and his ability to whistle that the bird liked. Luigi could imitate birdsong to a certain degree, simply because he was used to doing it whenever he was bored or needed some kind of distraction. And (God forbid) he did need a lot of those times. Although his whistling lacked the warbling tone that the Doctor possessed, the dove was willing to overlook that. Snake could whistle as well, but his tone proved a bit too sharp for the bird's liking. Yet it did take into consideration how gentle the mercenary could be; it let him pet its feathers and straighten its perch, so there wasn't too much difference there.

Dr. Mario sometimes wished that the dove could be a hand-reared one; then he would have an excuse to pet this bird, talk to it soothingly, treat it the way he treated his viruses. But the fact was that the dove _wasn't_. Just a week more, the Doctor swore to himself; just one week more, and then the bird could be set free. He just had to make sure that it didn't bond with him even more during that time. So he kept the windows open when he exited his office, moved away from the dove whenever he felt that they were too close together, and only cleaned the bowl and perch in the other room when the bird was out of sight. He even started to relocate the food bowl in random places around his office, allowing him some time to fill up the bowl without the dove feeding out of his hand and managing to get it to use its wings more and more. This worked, yes - his methods seldom failed - but he couldn't help but feel intensely guilty every time he did this.

Why did it have to be so difficult?

--

"How are the kittens doing? I heard that Master Hand left them in your office yesterday - we haven't had a chance to see them today. Snake's gone for a brawl, and I didn't want to go alone... I don't want to leave his grey kitten without him..."

Dr. Mario chuckled. "It seems as if you two are extremely attached to the kittens. You will miss them very much, I presume, when the time comes for the Smashers to part ways."

Luigi sighed, his face falling. "...I know. It's only two weeks away now. I just... wish that we could have had more time. If they'd been born earlier, we could have-" He was interrupted by the Doctor's three viruses hopping into the office and chattering insistently, tugging at the older man's shoelaces.

"Steady now!" Dr. Mario called, but he was smiling. "Hungry?" The viruses chirped and nodded.

"There you go... I know your feeding time's overdue. I'm sorry." The Doctor smiled quietly, and pulled out some bits of candy and pellets from his pocket, holding them in his palm. The red virus jumped up to his lap, eager to be fed first; the others quietly awaited their turn, which was highly unusual behavior from their part. The two guessed that the creatures didn't want to cause trouble with a guest in the room, or they simply didn't want to upset Dr. Mario. Luigi observed this with interest, bending his body forwards to look closely at the viruses. The creatures didn't seem to mind the attention that much, being so used to people looking at them all the time.

The red virus fed out of the Doctor's hand happily, carrying away a small piece of candy to nibble on as it ate its fill and hopped off the man's lap, settling down near the spare armchair. The blue one took its place, and resumed doing something similar, although it took less time to feed; the Doctor knew that it liked frolicking around in his office more than eating, but nonetheless pressed a little piece of candy into its tiny hands as it got ready to jump off his lap. It squeaked happily, and nuzzled into Dr. Mario's gown before joining the red virus (affectionately referred to as 'Fever') around the armchair. The younger Mario brother's eyes followed them around the room, and he found himself smiling softly when he looked back at the yellow virus - which was now lying contentedly on the Doctor's lap and snuggling into the warmth. It seemed to be the quietest and the closest to Dr. Mario, and not merely content with being a virus, almost tried to be a cat as well.

"They're very eager, aren't they?" Luigi asked.

"Very. They feed like this for ten minutes, twice a day. I've watched them for a few years now and it seems that they actually _are_ happy with taking turns being the first to feed. They don't argue like some pets do. It's not a bad arrangement at all." Dr. Mario answered, and then stroked the back of the yellow virus (which purred at the attention). "So. I apologize for the interruption - you were talking about the kittens?" A nod. "Master Hand said that he trusted you and Snake with their care. I suspect you will be allowed further outings with them for the last fortnight. When I saw them yesterday, they were healthy and well." He suddenly smiled, his features softening.

"Your kittens were pining for you two. I could see that perfectly."

"Really?" Luigi's eyes widened with pleasant surprise; he clapped his hands, looking ecstatic. "Oh, I'm glad! We do think a lot about them, Doctor... I mean, we've been with them for quite a time now. We probably won't see them grow up as proper cats... but we're just glad that we spent their kittenhood along with them."

Dr. Mario nodded. "They don't chew on your fingers anymore, I hope?"

"They don't. We think they've grown out if it."

"A good thing. They don't seem to pose much of a threat when they're little, wouldn't you agree? But a little nip can turn into a nasty bite as soon as they're grown. I've only had too much experience with frustrated cat owners, all with the exact same problem."

Luigi clicked his fingers, his facial expression suddenly brightening as he remembered something. "Speaking of pets... how's the dove doing, Doctor? Shouldn't its wing have mended by now?"

"It has. I've taken off its bandages."

"Where is it?"

"In the other room, my boy. It's under sedative at the moment. I had to check the wing for any abnormalities and had to examine it quite closely, you see. I didn't want it to hurt itself, what with it being too much of a fledgling. But the effects won't last for very long." The Doctor looked at the time. "... Luigi, my boy, it's lunchtime. Are you meeting Snake for lunch down in the bar, or somewhere else? If you aren't, and you don't have anywhere else to go, you can stay here..."

The green-clad plumber shook his head, pushing back his long, soft fringe. "Well... goodness me... I'd like to stay here, if you wouldn't mind, Doctor. Snake's due in for three more consecutive brawls today. It's nearly the end of the tournament, so Master Hand's being hard on all of us. Every day, one of us is chosen to go through some intensive training. By the end of the day most of them just collapse. I've seen Link being carried off Delfino Plaza in a stretcher, raving hysterically. It doesn't bear thinking about."

"That didn't do much for his scores, did it?"

"Not at all. He's been knocked to the back of the list." Luigi shuddered. "I hope Snake doesn't collapse in the middle of a brawl. It was my turn three days ago and it was pure _hell_."

Dr. Mario nodded sympathetically. "I understand, Luigi. Even so... you need to eat something. Is there anything that you particularly fancy?"

"I always did like your milk and cookies."

--

Luigi had stayed for another while, nibbling on his milk and cookies and chatting about daily life with the older man. Dr. Mario appreciated those quiet moments with the younger Mario brother; it did get quite lonely by himself in this office, even with the constant presence of his viruses and whichever animal he happened to be caring for. As much as he cared for them, the truth was they couldn't converse with him the way a human could. The patients in the ward - if there were any - were often grim and silent, either too injured to even attempt speech or simply uncomfortable with the Doctor. He never went beyond business even with Mario himself when it came to conversation, so those moments with Luigi (sometimes Snake) were a blessing.

Dr. Mario looked up at the clock on the wall; it chimed eight in the evening. He was halfway through his paperwork, which would take another four consecutive hours to finish. If he carried on, he'd be able to sleep by midnight. But why should he be doing such a thing? He was human after all; as much he respected his work, he needed to eat something. The Doctor hadn't been having proper meals for a few weeks now - what with being so busy, he often found that he had no desire to eat. He wished he was back in the Mushroom Kingdom; at least he could maintain a regular schedule when he was back in his own home.

He sighed and got up, whistling lightly as he opened a bag of birdseed, calling to the dove. The bird, seemingly still groggy from the effects of the sedative, hopped over to him; it seemed a little unsteady, but did seem happy to be fed. It pecked at the birdseed as the Doctor watched; he had gone out earlier to catch some insects for the bird to feed on, as it would be returning to the wild soon. It wasn't an easy job, what with his leg being crippled; but after a while, he had succeeded, and that was what mattered. He would have to think of different methods of catching those insects tomorrow.

The bird hopped away from the bowl and fluttered to the top of the bookcase, where a small water dish was provided for it. It had had enough of eating. Dr. Mario looked up with faint interest, and then sighed as he got up (painfully) and removed the bowl. He gripped his walking-stick tightly as he took a step, clenching his teeth in pain; perhaps he'd been too hard on himself today. He wasn't young anymore - he was practically risking an arm and leg (quite literally) for this dove. Somehow he managed to get the food bowl sorted out and cleaned, while the bird watched him from above - and then he sank down back onto his chair, reaching for a bottle of megavitamins. They had a painkiller effect - if there was anything that the good Doctor had ever regretted in his lifetime, it was getting addicted to those pills. They were safe, he had no doubts about that, but he hated having to rely on his own medicine to bear his own pain. What if the latter overcame him and he couldn't get more megavitamins? That simply didn't bear thinking about.

But no time to think about that now. There was work to do. He quickly popped a pill into his mouth, dry-swallowed it (not the best method, but what did it matter?) and picked up his pen. If he just held out for a couple more hours...

--

"Mmm..."

Dr. Mario slowly opened his eyes, blinking sleepily. But almost instantly afterwards, he closed them again; he was so tired. Where was he anyway? He didn't remember going to bed. His head was lying on something hard and firm - like a table-

Wait. A table? But how? What had he done? Dr. Mario's eyes snapped open in panic; he was meant to be finishing this work for the morning! How long had he been sleeping? He tried to turn himself around to see the clock, seeing the documents sprawled out beneath his head - but then stopped. He felt something soft brushing his cheek, although he knew that nothing that he had in the office possessed even the faintest resemblance to softness. Could it be one of his viruses? But neither of them were exactly soft or gentle - to the contrary, they were often boisterous and would never wake him up in a gentle manner. He turned his head slightly and raised his eyes to a sight he'd never seen before.

The dove had woken up early, and was standing next to him; it had extended its good wing, and was lightly stroking his cheek.

Dr. Mario stared, frozen to his seat, only blinking his eyes every now and then. The dove's feathers felt soft and warm against his skin; it was still very downy, reminding the Doctor that this bird was still a young fledgling. He didn't dare breathe or even try to raise his head. Fatigue had deserted him completely - he was just so astonished that he forgot all about sleep.

When the dove saw him blinking in surprise, it withdrew its wing and cooed softly in delight, pattering closer to the Doctor. It bent down gently to gaze into his eyes, checking if he was awake, and whether it had done him any harm. He stayed still, and did not move an inch; satisfied with Dr. Mario's reaction, it fluttered to the top shelf and twittered happily.

Slowly, Dr. Mario raised his head and stared up at the dove. He tried to say something - anything - but no words came. He'd often heard of pets being like this to their owners, waking them up or petting them, but he'd never imagined that a bird (which wasn't even a pet) could be affectionate towards him. He seldom touched the dove, and had tried to keep away from it for fear of rendering the bird unable to survive in the wild. How could he explain his phenomenon?

"Come here," He called softly before he quite knew what he was doing. He reached out his hand; the dove crooked its head for a moment before silently taking off and settling down to perch on the Doctor's finger. It stretched and craned its neck before beginning to preen itself, seemingly ignoring the man - Dr. Mario couldn't help but chuckle at the display of haughtiness, and allowed himself his first real contact with the dove. He gently stroked the back of its neck with a finger, smoothing down the feathers. The dove cooed softly once and then made a kind of clicking sound, glancing at the Doctor quizzically.

"Thank you." Dr. Mario said quietly, and that was enough. He didn't need to explain what had happened to him. The dove looked at him, he looked back, and there was kind of a mutual understanding between the two that spoke more than words. There was no need to delve further into the matter.

Perhaps, he thought with a small smile, this was one aspect of caring for animals that he couldn't control. But he was fine with that. He had just leaned back onto the chair, watching the bird preen itself, when a loud thump and a crash sounded from the hall.

"_I can't believe you actually did that_!" A female voice screamed.

Dr. Mario looked around with faint interest, and briefly considered getting up to see what was going outside. But when he looked at the time and the paperwork on the table, he immediately decided against it; it was now seven o'clock, with only about another couple of pages to finish up. He'd done more than he'd thought. He set the bird down, chuckling as it pecked him fondly; he patted it one more time, and then took up his pen.

By the time he finished this work, maybe he'd go out for a walk. His leg felt considerably better, despite the rather-uncomfortable position he'd fallen asleep in; he probably wasn't feeling the pain after what had happened that morning. And maybe he'd let the dove feed out of his hand this time.

He'd like that.


	33. 33: Let There be Rivals

**Author's Note:** Alrighty, Solitary Shadow is back with the (presumably) fifth-to-last chapter of WtCB. It's Assist Trophy focused. This is also the chapter where the Mr. L storyline gets mostly wrapped up. It's also a return to the good ol' fluffy times, with Snake and Luigi in a brawl, and our eternal friend the cardboard box. It's a bit like the chapters a few months back.

I actually participated in five Assist Trophy-only, frequency medium, twelve-minute team brawls to write this. The description of the brawl used in this is relatively accurate to what happened in one of them, save for one tiny detail. And that detail happens to be the most... erm, inspirational part of this chapter. It just had to be the team/ally battles in Classic Mode. Your computer allies have _hearts_ over their heads. And on a slightly unrelated note, I actually took the '_Drug_ Store' part in Onett literally when I first saw the stage.

Fun times.

I'll explain Yoshi next chapter. I swear. _I swear_. x.x He's just giving me a bit of trouble. Every way I write him seems to be unrealistic.

But enough of my incoherent ramblings. On with the chappie.

* * *

If there was one type of brawl that was uncommon in the Smash Brothers tournament, it had to be an Assist Trophy-only session. Those Trophies were highly unpredictable, and depending on which one a Smasher picked up, it often gave them an unfair advantage - or absolutely no effect at all. This meant that some Assist Trophies were more liked than others. Lyn, for example, could score an easy KO for the Smasher who'd picked her up. Saki, Gray Fox and Issac could easily push someone off the edge and make it impossible for the unfortunate Smasher to attack.

However, if there were Assist Trophies that were loved, logic followed that there had to be ones that were hated. Mr. Resetti was an infamous example, along with the Nintendog and Tingle (who was criticized for making an already-unpredictable process of Assist Trophies even more confusing). As for the rest, they were regarded as fairly neutral, although personal opinions of them still differed. Sonic, for instance, thought Shadow the Hedgehog was being a little bit of a bore, claiming that 'he never stays behind to chat and ignores everyone'.

Master Hand seldom took notice of various complaints from the Smashers, but even he agreed to the fact that Assist Trophies were rather unfair to have around in great quantities in a brawl. Although he used to drop a great many of them at the beginning of the tournament, he didn't anymore. However, even he couldn't help matters when it was randomly decided that a particular brawl would have an Assist Trophy-only setting, to the great frustration of the Smashers involved.

Especially when the people concerned were not very friendly with a certain Trophy.

Luigi was going through a rough patch. As part of his final brawling sessions, he was required to go through an intense, twelve-minute team brawl with three randomly chosen Smashers - one would serve as his ally, and the other two as his opponents. Friendly Fire was not an option in those cases, which was only a small bit of consolation; if his ally proved to be someone that he wasn't friendly with, or didn't work all that well with his strategies, then he was doomed. He could only practice his moves over and over again in the Training Room, and hope for the best.

Within a week, the day of the brawl finally arrived. He'd wished that he'd have his brawl first thing in the morning - at least he'd be able to get it out of the way - but of course, there was no such privilege provided for him. He endured five agonizing hours, waiting and waiting for his announcement. When it finally came, Luigi was sitting in the bar, mindlessly stirring his milkshake around, when he heard the dreaded announcement from the loudspeakers.

"Next up, a twelve-minute team brawl..." Master Hand's voice was calm as always, but for Luigi, it filled his mind with pure, heart-wrenching terror. "...and the main participant is Luigi. Your brawl location is Final Destination. The match will commence in fifteen minutes... I repeat, fifteen minutes. Please make preparations for your brawl now. You will be informed of your ally and opponents upon arrival."

Luigi groaned, planting his head on the table with a frustrated thud. This was it. Fifteen minutes until his world died. He could only hope that at least one of his friends were in the team brawl - but how could he be sure that they would be his ally? He'd been in one of those brawls before, as an opponent to Marth, and knew that all opponents were instructed to give it their all no matter what. Friends meant _nothing_ for twelve minutes.

The green-clad plumber sighed heavily, gazing unhappily down at his half-finished milkshake, and (on impulse) grabbed the drink and downed it in one gulp. He'd need the extra sugar and energy. Luigi then stood up and began to walk towards Final Destination slowly, wishing that it wouldn't get any worse than this.

* * *

"Welcome." Master Hand's voice boomed out as Luigi entered the arena and took his place. "Please standby. Your brawl is timed. The team with the most KO's will automatically win the match after twelve minutes - if there are no KO's achieved, or equal KO's, you will automatically enter a Sudden Death mode. Your brawl will begin in five minutes. Any other details you wish to be informed of?"

"Yes, if you don't mind." Luigi spoke up, sounding halfhearted. "Were my opponents and ally chosen following a certain rule, and do you have information on the items that will be dropped?"

Master Hand laughed, to the younger Mario brother's surprise. "Every Smasher asks that. Your opponents are chosen randomly. So is your ally. There is no rule to it - we use a name generator to decide. As for the items-" He broke off for a second, but then returned. "-Assist Trophy-only, frequency on medium."

Luigi could have _cried_. He knew that he couldn't run fast; a huge disadvantage when it came to grabbing Assist Trophies. And he was prone to tripping and sliding too often for his own good. And to make matters worse, it really wasn't as if his attacks were aggressive enough to keep on disrupting Smashers from getting an Assist Trophy, or even keep them off the ground. All he could hope for now was to get an ally who was reasonably fast, or had long-range or powerful attacks and didn't trip very often.

If that wasn't an option, he could most definitely do with an ally who wouldn't laugh at him for giving a terrible performance.

The younger Mario brother was contemplating this so deeply that he hardly noticed that three more Smashers had entered the arena; he only looked up and broke out of his thoughts when he felt a reassuring weight on his shoulder. Luigi flinched lightly and looked up, feeling nervous - but then stared disbelievingly at the Smasher next to him (who was smiling gently).

"S-Snake?"

"Hey." The mercenary said softly. "Yeah, it's me. I'm your ally for this match. We'll win this brawl easily." He gestured towards the other side of the arena as he said this; Wario and Diddy Kong were there, looking rather sour and unwilling to co-operate with this each other. Luigi brightened up considerably after seeing this - Wario and Diddy Kong were not good match-ups when it came to attacks, therefore creating a rift between their teamwork. Snake saw the other smiling, and chuckled to himself. It was Luigi's lucky day today.

"So it means that we really should focus on Wario." Luigi murmured. "He's handy. Really handy. He's probably better than I am - or most Smashers in this tournament for that matter. I'm glad he hasn't got a great match-up right here."

Snake smirked. "They aren't going to beat us. _We_ practice with each other all the time."

"Welcome." Luigi was about to say something, but Master Hand beat him to it first as he began to announce the brawl. "This is a timed team brawl, and Friendly Fire is disabled. Your time limit is twelve minutes. After twelve minutes, if no KO's or equal KO's have been achieved, the match will be reset as a Sudden Death. Any deliberate attempts to injure or otherwise disable a Smasher will result in disqualification for that team." He paused for a while, making sure that everyone understood.

"Three..." Master Hand began the countdown, and every Smasher on the arena tensed. "two... one... go!"

* * *

After eight minutes had passed, Luigi was thinking that perhaps this wasn't so bad after all. Wario, although a fair match for both him and Snake, was often slowed down or interrupted by Diddy Kong; Snake would often use this time to bury a mine, or load a warhead on his RPG-7 rocket launcher, effectively KO'ing the members of the other team. The mercenary was not a particularly fast runner, but aggressive and powerful - just the kind of ally that Luigi needed. The green-clad plumber did most of the running and disruptive work, along with slowly building up the damage percentage of the other team. Once Wario or Diddy Kong was damaged beyond sixty percent, Snake would take over to finish them off. The mercenary was also in charge of either knocking away or activating Assist Trophies - surprisingly, a great deal of the ones that he and Luigi activated were useful Trophies. Three times they had opened an Assist Trophy to reveal Lyn - and she succeeded in getting them KO's every time. Saki and Jeff had helped them out twice (although they didn't KO anyone), and even Dr. Wright was on their side this time by revealing a gigantic skyscraper. Snake had even made light conversation with Grey Fox (_'like old times, Snake_...') while he was helping out.

Luigi stopped for breath and glanced towards the screen. He and Snake had been KO'ed five times each, but Wario had been KO'ed eight times and Diddy Kong eleven times. They were way ahead. With only three-and-a-half minutes left into the brawl, he was thinking that they would win for sure. Of course, he couldn't let his guard down now - that was still enough time for Wario and Diddy Kong to turn the whole thing around, or at least force the match into a Sudden Death.

The main problem, he supposed, was the fact that he was getting _tired_. The younger Mario brother had never been a great athlete, nor did he possess great stamina; his attacks were losing some of their strength, and he found himself tripping and stopping to catch his breath more often. If he had just one Heart Container with him! But no healing items were allowed in this brawl - not even the usual Team Healers appeared, which meant that he was just going to have to bear it to the very end.

"You're tired, aren't you?" Snake asked softly beside him; the mercenary did seem rather disoriented and dizzy also, having handled his projectiles for too long. "Luigi... I think we'd better spend the next minute taking cover... or even stay completely still in one place while we attack. We aren't going to do much if we keep on moving around and attacking."

"But there _is_ no place to take cover," Luigi protested weakly, although he did seem relieved at the thought of taking a break. He stood in front of Snake, putting up his shield and wincing lightly as Wario attempted to punch him. He wasn't hurt, and nor did his shield break, but it still reminded him painfully of how vulnerable they were as of now. It was perhaps just luck that an Assist Trophy dropped by near him; Diddy Kong jumped up to snatch it out of mid-air, but Luigi kicked him away and grabbed it for himself, activating it as soon as he reached the ground.

He immediately wished that he hadn't.

A too-familiar, maniacal cackling came from the Assist Trophy as it was engulfed by light. When the light faded merely a second later, it revealed just the one person that Luigi didn't feel like seeing; it was Waluigi himself, in all his tennis-racket glory, glancing around with shrewd eyes to find out who had summoned him and who he was meant to be attacking. The younger Mario brother gulped and nervously stepped back, which was not a movement that went unnoticed with the purple-clad man; Waluigi's eyes narrowed as his gaze fell upon Luigi, and a look of intense dislike spread on his face. He did not move and stayed silent, staring at the green-clad plumber, a faint trace of inner disgust visible in his expression.

Snake, being not completely aware of the situation, broke the uncomfortable silence. "Is he malfuctioning? What's going on?"

"Oh, _nothing_," Waluigi shot back, turning his head sharply to glare at the mercenary. "It's just that I'm getting kind of sick of doing the fighting for you lot - especially that pathetic weakling over there." He pointed with his tennis racket at Luigi, an insulting smile on his face. "Why do you even bother to get in teams anyway? You could do so much better than _him_ by yourself."

"Because I want to." Snake replied coldly. "Now, as Luigi summoned you, I must remind you that you're meant to be attacking someone from our opposing team." But even as he said the words, Wario and Diddy Kong were silent and still, waiting for the match to resume. Wario looked particularly uneasy, which was a surprise - he usually wasn't too bothered with someone else's problems.

"The hell I am," Waluigi spat disgustedly. "I'm not doing anything for that loser."

Luigi said nothing; he felt cold and numb, unable to say anything in his defence, and merely stood there with downcast eyes. He hadn't imagined that he'd be taunted like this a mere fortnight before the end of the tournament - and definitely not by Waluigi. He'd never had this problem before - he had only ever summoned Waluigi a few times throughout the whole tournament, and although they said nothing to each other, the taller man had done his job well. He felt tight and hollow, and could almost feel one of his 'transformations' coming on.

Snake quickly stepped forwards, cursing the Smashers' inability to interact with Assist Trophies within a brawl. "Don't you dare say that! Who cares about what you think? You're just an Assist Trophy - second to any one of us - so go ahead and do the god-damn job you were _meant_ to do!"

"What's it to you anyway?" Waluigi retorted, his eyes glittering as he enjoyed the spontaneous reaction from the soldier. "Why the hell are you getting into this for? You _fond_ of him or something?" He pronounced the word 'fond' sarcastically, grinning in a sadistic way as he did so. He'd found a weak spot.

Luigi finally opened his mouth. "Snake, don't. It's not worth it."

"But-"

"Look at you two!" Waluigi yelled after them, triumphant that he was in charge of the situation. "Why, you've even got little _hearts _over your heads! Why should I help that loser win, when all he's ever done is to whine and wait for his equally-pathetic older brother to change his nappies for him-"

"Waluigi, _that's enough_!" Wario suddenly barked out, stomping his way in front of his brother. Waluigi immediately shut his mouth, momentarily intimidated, although he didn't do so without a hateful glance at Snake and Luigi. Merely a second later, he vanished into thin air as his time ran out.

And coincidently, at the same time as the end of the brawl.

"Time out!" Master Hand's voice rang out through the arena. "As the team with the most KO's... Luigi's team wins the brawl!"

Luigi didn't seem to be listening. His face had gone very pale, and his eyes dull and blank. His mouth was tightly shut and he was standing very still. Snake inhaled sharply as he recognized the danger signs; if he didn't do something now...

Wario inched forwards cautiously, Diddy Kong following closely at his heels. There was no trace of the usual mockery in his face - for a usually-haughty and careless person, he actually looked quite concerned. "Luigi... damn... I - I honestly didn't know that Waluigi was going to be so mean... I'm so sorry, I should have-"

The younger Mario brother turned his back on the Smashers and began walking out of Final Destination. Snake ran forwards, his hand outstretched in an attempt to grasp Luigi before he disappeared into some remote location where he would not be found. "Luigi, don't! Come back!"

The green-clad plumber began to run, and was out of sight in seconds.

"_Luigi_!"

* * *

Mario was walking out of the Drug Store in Onett, having engaged in a small trade with the owner of the store - a small bag of 1-UPs in exchange for seventy miniature Heart Containers - and was admittedly feeling rather pleased with himself. Those Heart Containers would ensure that he wouldn't have to visit the supply closet every time he was injured in a brawl, and that he would have a constant supply. Luigi had done the very same thing the other day, and the red-clad plumber had thought it worth trying out for himself.

Constant source of inspiration, his brother was. At those times, more than ever, Mario felt proud of Luigi.

He was just looking around to cross the road when he heard the announcement from one of the loudspeakers above. The red-clad plumber looked up, the bag of Heart Containers in his hand, listening intently to what was being announced as the crowd passed him by.

"The team brawl of the day is over," Master Hand was saying. "The main participant was Luigi, whose team won the brawl with nine KO's in the lead. Next up... Mr. Game and Watch versus Sheik... please get ready for your brawl. The match will begin in fifteen minutes. Your brawl location is the Pirate Ship. You will be alerted via the loudspeakers five minutes prior to your brawl."

Oh yes! Mario could remember now. It had been his little brother's turn to participate in a twelve-minute team brawl that day. He had been rather worried about Luigi - after all, those brawls required a great amount of energy to get through - but it seemed now that he was all right. Mario smiled softly - he'd ask Luigi all about it when he got back. He expected his brother to be waiting for him back at their suite, tired... but excited and happy about winning. The older Mario brother had very little idea who Luigi had brawled with, or who he had been up against; but he'd find out soon enough. He crossed the road, feeling lighthearted, and stepped out of Onett to enter Smashville. If he kept on going at the speed he was going now, he'd get to the hotel before the restaurant downstairs opened. He could sit with Luigi, ask him about the brawl, and then afterwards go up to their suite for a cup of coffee. He'd even make his little brother's coffee special, with lots of cream and sugar, just the way the green-clad plumber liked.

What he hadn't expected would happen was Luigi tugging on his sleeve as he pushed past the crowd.

"What..." Mario's voice trailed off he saw his ashen-faced brother behind him. "Luigi? What's going on? Are you all right?"

"Mario... need to talk." Luigi whispered. Mario was immediately on guard; his little brother looked sickly and desperate to get him away. Nodding discreetly, the red-clad plumber took Luigi by the hand - something he hadn't done for a few years - and quickly led him away in the direction of the hotel.

* * *

"What's wrong?" Mario asked as soon as they were back in their hotel suite; he closed the door, and sat Luigi down on the couch. "Luigi? You look... awfully ill."

"I'm not ill." Luigi replied weakly. "I'm not... I'm not ill. It's just that... he..."

"Who?" The older Mario brother asked quietly, but Luigi just shook his head and buried his face into his hands. He was shaking; but he wasn't crying, and nor did he look as if he was going through a terrible phase. He just seemed shaken and confused. Silenting noting the absence of Mr. L so far, Mario stood up and turned the coffee machine on in silence, giving his brother a chance to sort out his thoughts and clear his mind. There was silence for a while, punctuated only now and then with the splutter of the machine.

Mario placed two cups on the counter, letting the hot liquid swirl into the cups, churning into sweet froth. He took one cup and took out a container of sugar from the cupboard, pouring four generous spoonfuls into the coffee. There was no cream, but that would have to do for now. He returned to the couch (Luigi was still sitting there, shaking and his head in his hands) and handed his brother the sugary cup of coffee.

"Alright. What happened?" He asked gently, sitting down next to Luigi. The latter took a quick sip of his coffee, the sugar and caffeine appearing to calm him down.

"It was Waluigi."

Mario frowned lightly into his cup. "What did he do?"

Luigi closed his eyes and rubbed his eyelids with his fingers, groaning lightly as he recalled the horrible words. "He... taunted me... humiliated me right in the middle of that match. I... I summoned him as an Assist Trophy... but he refused to attack the other team. He just stood there and _laughed_ at me." Mario froze in place, hands tightening around his cup as he tried to digest this information; the green-clad plumber appeared to be too lost in his own thoughts to notice. "I... don't understand why he did that. I've never had this problem before. I've only ever summoned him a few times and he didn't taunt me like this then."

Mario set his cup down on the table and leaned back. A part of him felt defensive and furious; how dare Waluigi do this to his little brother? And a mere two weeks away from the end of the tournament? Luigi hadn't had a breakdown for at least a month and half; if Waluigi did something irreversible and brought out Mr. L, Mario would personally make sure that he was 'taken care of'. In fact, why not teach the skinny plumber a lesson now?

He stood up and walked towards the door.

"Mario, _no_!" Almost as soon as he took a couple of steps, Luigi immediately dragged him back down onto the couch. "Please, don't make trouble! It's only a couple of weeks until this tournament's over, and if you get yourself into a mess now..."

The red-clad plumber said nothing, but merely looked at his brother; this reaction wasn't one that he knew from Luigi. As a matter of fact, it was already decidedly odd that Luigi hadn't cried or broken down yet. He simply looked upset and muddled. Nothing more. He took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down before doing anything else.

"What did he say to you?"

"He said that he wasn't going to do anything for weaklings like me. And then he said some more... horrible stuff... he called me a pathetic loser... before he went away," Luigi replied. He grasped his head tightly, fingers clenching his hair. "I don't... understand it, Mario. Why does he hate me so much? At least he had an excuse to call me names back in the Mushroom Kingdom... but I haven't done anything to him in this place. I haven't even spoken more than a couple of words to him. Why did Waluigi say all that? What's he got against me? Apart from a few sports tournaments, I haven't even _met_ him more than a few times in the past years!"

Mario listened with a kind of bewilderment. This was different to the usually-melancholy, depressive Luigi that he'd known. Months ago, if the green-clad plumber heard anything of this sort, he would have entered a complex, emotional state in which he would begin to brood and dwell on the various unpleasant memories from his past. If the insults and the horrible thoughts became unbearable after enduring a long time in this state, Luigi would then transform into his dark alter-ego and become uncontrollable.

Right now - although the insults he'd endured this time was even worse than some that he'd reacted violently to - there was none of that. All Luigi was looking for at the moment was some kind of a reason as to why this had happened, not an excuse to withdraw unto himself. This was... strange. The green-clad plumber never used to focus on things like that.

"Oh, bro." Mario put his arm around his brother. "You know that Waluigi was... he was furious when he didn't make it as a Smasher. He wasn't involved enough in adventures and failed the test to demonstrate his abilities. Hell, even Wario made it, but not him. The only joy he gets in this tournament comes from smashing people into the ground. And you know how he tries to outshine you in every sports tournament we participate in. When he heard that you were in - and doing a great job - I suppose he was jealous and angry. I also heard that Assist Trophies are getting tired of being bossed around - I heard that they even made plans to participate in a mass protest before Master Hand came along and crushed it."

"So it was stress-induced?"

"We could very well stick with that," the red-clad plumber answered, although he didn't look pleased at all. "...but that doesn't mean he had to take it out on you. You said that he went away after his time was up?"

Luigi nodded. "I was against Wario and Diddy Kong. Waluigi came two minutes before the match was due to end. His taunts... it was immature, I know, and it was horrible... but then Wario stopped him. I didn't expect that. After Waluigi left, the brawl ended... and I just ran straight out to find you."

"_Wario_ stopped him, huh?" Mario murmured quietly. "Looks as if he's gotten rather fond of you."

The green-clad plumber scratched the back of his head, chuckling for the first time he'd been in that suite that day. "Well... I guess. So I suppose I really shouldn't take Waluigi's comments to heart. I was just... confused and angry, Mario. I think I understand a bit more now."

Mario nodded, but he still looked serious. "...Luigi, if you want, I can still go and have a talk with Waluigi. I can seek him out."

"No, there's no need for that," Luigi answered. "I just wanted to know the possible reason why he did that. If it was for no reason other than stress and jealousy... why, I don't think it really matters at all. I don't know why I got myself into such a state. Maybe it was because he said all that stuff to Snake as well..."

"Snake?" The older Mario brother asked, suddenly rather alert. "Snake was your ally?"

Luigi hardly seemed to take in the sudden change in the other's tone. "Yes... he was really good too, he delivered most of the finishing blows... wait..." His eyes widened, and he quickly stood up in panic. "... Oh no! I left him behind in Final Destination without even a word! He might be..." He bent down to give Mario a quick hug, and then dashed out of the mahogany door. "I'll come back soon, Mario!"

The red-clad plumber sat still as he listened to the younger Mario brother's footsteps die away in the distance. He felt happy for his brother, and definitely relieved that there had been no breakdowns, but there was still a nagging thought in the corner of his mind. He probably knew why Luigi hadn't wanted Mario to interfere with the situation in any way; by talking to Waluigi, the red-clad plumber would end up proving the skinny man's theory that Luigi was still too much dependent on his older brother and ridiculously babyish. And the younger Mario brother was nothing like that. Mario knew that it was better like this - but couldn't help feeling a slight sense of sadness.

His little brother had grown up now. He didn't need Mario so much anymore.

He should have recognized it a long time ago, but it only hit home right then. Throughout the whole tournament, Mario had felt the loss of his younger brother, but had never quite understood why Luigi had chosen his own path in life so suddenly; that was why the red-clad plumber had reacted with anger and hatred. He had been extremely afraid to lose Luigi, and his paranoia had worsened as Luigi's transformations became increasingly severe.

Yet for quite a time now... Mr. L hadn't surfaced. It hadn't been Mario's doing - it was Snake's, and it was his new, kind presence that had helped Luigi out of his shell. Mario smiled sadly; he wasn't the one looking after Luigi now. It was Snake. Perhaps under his guidance, the younger Mario brother would be able to keep Mr. L dormant for long periods of time. Maybe even for as long as he lived. It was a long time until then, yes...

...but as long as Luigi was happy, then Mario was happy for him.

He stood up and began to clear away the cups.

* * *

"Oh, God... I hope he's all right..." Luigi whispered to himself as he ran through Delfino Plaza, heading towards the direction of Shadow Moses Island. It was cold and beginning to snow outside; he hadn't brought a jacket nor a coat, or even a scarf to wrap around his neck, but this hardly registered to him. "He should be there, God, let him be there..."

"Hey, watch it!" Ganondorf said gruffly as Luigi pushed past him; the younger Mario brother muttered a startled apology and started running again, the island in sight. Just a little more... and he'd be there. But what if Snake wasn't in their usual spot? He had to assure the mercenary that he was fine as soon as possible - what if the mercenary had gone to inflict some kind of harm to Waluigi? As much as the younger Mario brother detested the fact that the skinny plumber hated his guts, he didn't quite hate Waluigi enough to want him grievously injured. Besides, if that was the case, Luigi would never be able to find him in time.

He slammed open the doors and ran in, jumping up the platforms and climbing up to the top frantically. He scratched his hand on a piece of shrapnel, and it stung badly, but he didn't care. Luigi knelt down on the ground as he reached the top floor, looking up blearily.

The cardboard box wasn't there. Snake was nowhere to be found.

"No..." Luigi murmured, sinking down onto the cold metal floor. He felt exhausted; he'd been running too fast for his already-tired body. He collapsed forwards and lay on the ground, panting, eyes closed tightly as he tried to make sense of what was happening. The younger Mario brother couldn't find Snake here, and he couldn't very well go around every single arena to check. What was he going to do now? He was too exhausted, too frozen to even pick himself off the floor and trudge back to the hotel-

The main doors flew open as Luigi closed his eyes tiredly. The green-clad plumber didn't even look up or even try to open his eyes, until he heard a gasp and the sound of quick footsteps making their way up to the top. Luigi opened his eyes and gazed blankly as Snake clambered over the final platform and stared at the younger Mario brother.

"Luigi! Are you all right?" Snake ran over to the other man and bent down, both relief and concern in his eyes. "Are you hurt? God, you're _freezing_! Don't tell me you've come all the way here without a coat!"

"Heh... Snake..." Luigi chuckled weakly, reaching out a hand. "... glad... you're here..." Snake looked at him for one long moment and then gently picked up the younger Mario brother in his arms, sitting down in their favourite spot and pulling a box over their heads. He carefully set Luigi down to lean against the cardboard walls of the box, hearing the other sigh quietly as the warmth and darkness enveloped them, and settled down close.

"I was so worried," the mercenary said faintly. "when you just ran off like that. I tried to go after you, but when I ran out there you were already gone. Where were you? What were you doing?"

"One at a time, Snake." Luigi answered, sounding rather amused although his voice was still sluggish. "I... had to sort out my thoughts. I think I just kind of lost control for a moment. I'm sorry for worrying you - I didn't mean to. I just..."

Snake was feeling the other's pulse rate and forehead, trying to figure out if he had a fever. He looked at the other curiously. "... You didn't..."

"Become Mr. L?" The green-clad plumber shook his head, his expression awed in despite of himself. "No. Nowhere near. Whenever Mr. L surfaces, I become really cold and numb and there's a pain in my chest. It didn't happen this time - I have no idea why, but it just didn't happen."

"Thank God."

"I'm fine, Snake. I really am."

"Even so..." The soldier glanced worriedly at the other, his expression bitter. "... that dirty rat. He didn't have to do that. I'll get him myself later."

Luigi knew that the mercenary now held a kind of grudge for Waluigi - Snake wasn't the type to forgive and forget very easily. He grasped the mercenary's hand, squeezing it gently, assuring him that he really was fine. "Don't get yourself into trouble, Snake. I don't want you to get caught up in something because of me."

"Well..." Snake hesitated. "... are you sure you'll be okay? I just don't want you hurt. I want those last two weeks to be happy for you."

The green-clad plumber was rather touched by this rare display of true care and concern; he didn't say anything, but instead nestled closer to Snake and leaned against his shoulder in an affectionate gesture. He felt the mercenary gently put an arm around his shoulders, and knew that nothing more was needed to be said. He was warm now, quite warm and comfortable, and he was glad for that. They both gazed out of the finger holes at the sides, the view of the windows clear from within the cardboard box, watching the wind swirl around the snowflakes outside.

"It's beautiful." Luigi said quietly.

"I know."

"Can we... stay here for a little while? And then we can go back to the hotel for some dinner. I'm famished."

"Sure we can. I'm not very hungry at the moment, Luigi - but I'll say yes to toast with marmalade every time." The mercenary suddenly grinned. "Don't you think 'marmalade' has to be the most nonthreatening word in the English language?"

"Can't argue with that." Luigi smiled.


	34. 34: What Really Happened to Yoshi

**Author's Note:** NOT FOR YOSHI LOVERS. NOT FOR YOSHI LOVERS. NOT FOR YOSHI LOVERS.

This chapter is rather... grotesque. Not by description, but by the sheer idea. I love Yoshi muchly. I can't understand why I decided to give him a hard time like this. I'll make up for it later. x.x The descriptions given for Yoshi's breeding habits are mostly canon - Neon Eggs do exist, and they only can be produced by foods.

This takes place roughly at the same time as the last half of 'Turtledove'. In that chapter, you didn't get to see Snake. In here, you don't get to see Luigi. This odd contrast makes this a kind of loose plot point. And it contains a small in-joke. Only one person will ever get that joke.

IMPURE HEART.

Alright... on with the chapter. The next one will be rather long and will tie up most of the loose ends... and then you'll have the end. And the epilogue. So this chapter is the fourth-to-last chapter of WtCB. Rather depressing thought, even for me.

* * *

Princess Zelda looked around worriedly as she sat in the bar, sipping a martini. She was expecting Falco and Princess Peach to join her soon enough; they had planned to sit here for a few hours, observing the Smashers and counting them. None of them were due in for a brawl that day, which was helpful - but it was nonetheless going to be a rather nerve-wracking job. Neither of the princesses could really provide an answer to the question 'why are you staring at us?' - and Falco was already nervous enough as it is. Besides, the fact that she was here at five in the morning itself required an explanation, and she couldn't exactly provide one without arousing suspicions.

She looked down at the table, where a small notebook and a pen sat in front of her. She'd been making notes about what little they had managed to suss about what might have happened to Yoshi. And that really wasn't much. She tapped the notebook with her pen idly, numbering the few points she had written down.

First: they had first noticed the dinosaur's disappearance two days ago. That was the same exact date when Jigglypuff, Meta Knight, Snake, Luigi, Captain Falcon and Captain Olimar had had their little birthday picnic for the pink Pokemon. The exact time when they'd noticed the disappearance was exactly three fifty-three in the afternoon. Zelda frowned and scribbled down the following line - '_perhaps he was gone a lot sooner before that_?'.

Second: Yoshi had been last seen by any of them three days ago, which had been a Saturday night. The time was around half eleven or so, which left more than twelve hours between when he'd last been seen and when the three Smashers noticed that he was missing. That was way too much. Yoshi could have met _any_ kind of fate in that kind of time. So the line she had just scribbled was making a very fair point.

Third: Master Hand had not noticed the disappearance. Zelda frowned; this was where it all got very confusing. The giant Hand knew when Smashers went missing. If he hadn't said anything, logic followed that Yoshi had to be somewhere around the hotel - but he hadn't been seen all yesterday. This was a dilemma which she alone could not solve.

Fourth: Yoshi had not had a brawl scheduled for the previous day, which could possibly explain why neither Master Hand nor the other Smashers had yet noticed that the dinosaur was missing. It was common for a Smasher to stay in their hotel rooms for an entire day and not come out at all when they weren't due in for any brawls. The fact that there had been a lot of Smashers either in Smashville for a shopping spree (until midnight) or out brawling yesterday could also be a possible factor to be considered.

Ah, but today was a different matter. The Hylian princess had checked the schedule early, and it very clearly said that Yoshi was due in for a 100-man brawl three o'clock that afternoon. She looked at the clock on the wall, which told her that it was now ten past five; they had a little short of ten hours to find Yoshi and get him to the hotel, or there would be _trouble_. Zelda, Peach and Falco had been confident that the incident would be solved soon, so they had failed to report the situation; if they were found out, or they were suspected, all hell was going to break loose.

This was a very depressing thought. The princess sighed and downed her martini, mindlessly stirring around the green olive in her glass with a skewer - she didn't want to think about it.

"Princess Zelda?" Falco's voice startled her, and she looked up with a gasp, vaguely aware that she had been stabbing the green olive violently with the skewer prior to the pilot's arrival; Falco was looking at her oddly with a worried expression. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Oh yes, I'm fine," she hurriedly lied, but when the winged pilot raised an eyebrow, she relented and sighed. "Well... no. Not really. It's about Yoshi. It's driving me crazy."

"Get some rest, princess. None of us actually got much rest yesterday," Zelda looked up at Falco as he said those words. It was true; the princess had slept for a grand total of two hours, being too involved with the situation to consider sleeping. Falco looked rather tired as well; his feathers were unpreened and rough, which was very unusual for the avian pilot. Falco always looked his best. "Princess Peach is out in Green Greens right now. She's looking for Yoshi as well. Leave it to us - do get some rest, you look very tired..."

"I want to do my part as well," Zelda stood up, pushing the cocktail glass (with the mangled olive inside) away from her. Her voice was stubborn. "I take it that we switch to Plan B, then?"

Falco nodded. Deep inside, he knew that he would never persuade Zelda; although the Hylian princess hadn't suffered as many kidnappings and various situations like Princess Peach had, she was still tough and more stubborn than some people he knew. "Plan B in action. It isn't about observing Smashers any more. I think we need to find him by ourselves."

"We have about nine hours and three-quarters before Master Hand finds out for definite. Better hurry up." Princess Zelda said briskly. She forgot all about being tired - she was back to business now, and she knew it. "Do tell Peach that I've also switched over to Plan B as well, when you meet her. You're taking the Lylat Cruise, correct?"

"I am, princess. I wish you luck."

"I wish you luck as well."

* * *

"Oh, what am I going to tell Master Hand?" Princess Peach fretted as she gathered up her skirts and hastily stepped over a stagnant pool. She winced - perhaps her quest in Green Greens was in vain and she ought to go back to the hotel. Yoshi wasn't here in his favourite hideaway, so what was the point in looking further?

Princess Zelda, she had been informed, was in the hotel, checking the security cameras to check for the dinosaur's whereabouts; but there were well over a thousand cameras in the whole place, and she wasn't going to be able to examine them all at once. Falco was on-board the Lylat Cruise, hovering over every location to check if Yoshi was around, but that wasn't going to help much either. But at least they were warm and safe where they were.

And where was Princess Peach? Why, in a cold, snowy section of Green Greens while Whispy Woods blew a strong gust of wind towards her. She sighed and niftily stepped upwards, letting the wind carry her and her parasol up a few metres; it would help her to get a more bird's eye-like view on the surroundings, and would also help her get to the hotel faster. Perhaps she could keep a look out for Yoshi - she could certainly see a lot clearer up there than up in the Lylat Cruise.

To no avail.

When the wind stopped, Princess Peach drifted slowly down to the ground, landing in front of the hotel entrance. She was so tired; she'd been up since half five, looking for Yoshi in every possible crevice. The princess rubbed her eyes and sighed softly as she made her way towards her suite. Yoshi or no Yoshi, she needed some sleep now. Neither hunger nor thirst crossed her mind, although it was certainly true that she hadn't had breakfast. She just wanted to return to the warmth of her suite and take a nap.

"Peach!" A voice called her from behind; when she (very reluctantly) turned around, she saw Samus Aran in her Zero Suit jogging lightly towards her. Princess Peach smiled tiredly in response and stood still, waiting for the other woman to catch up.

"You're up early." She remarked as Samus stopped neatly in front of her.

"So are you," Samus said, her voice light and cheerful. "didn't you say that you were going to sleep in today? I've only woken up early so that I could go for a maintenance check in Norfair."

"Everything's fine, then?" A nod. "That's good. I'm going to get some more sleep. I've been up since half five." Peach yawned softly, resuming her walk to her suite. Samus followed closely behind, a sympathetic expression on her face - this was a rare occurrence, as she was often cool and emotionless towards other people.

"What have you been doing?"

The Princess hesitated for a second. Should she really tell Samus that Yoshi had gone missing? A part of her mind told her that it was a good idea; she could really use more people to help out their search. Princess Zelda was doing her job well, and so was Falco, but to be completely honest - three people were not enough. But a larger part of her subconscious told her otherwise. She knew how sensitive the bounty hunter could be - and she definitely knew about her obssession with keeping Pikachu safe. If Samus knew about this, someone was going to get hurt.

Badly.

"Well-"

But Princess Peach was spared from making up a white lie by unexpected circumstances.

"Just leave me alone, will you?" Samus and Princess Peach both stopped talking as a loud voice sounded from around the corner. They instinctively ran and hid in a doorway, looking out warily at what was coming. Snake was walking down the hallway, obviously fuming; his expression was highly irritated. He was out of his bodysuit - instead settling for a tight black shirt and jeans, as he wasn't due in for any brawls that day, and his bandanna was tied in a rather askew manner around his head. Bowser followed him close behind, looking pitiful.

"I'm telling you, Snake, I didn't mean anything," the large Koopa was whining. "I just thought that you might have seen him."

"Well, you've been asking me too often. You asked me five times yesterday and now you're up to bother me again first thing in the morning!" Snake's voice was loud and angered, which was unusual; he was usually calm and controlled when it came to other people. But none of the Smashers at the time remembered that he (very unfortunately) also happened to be what people called a 'night person'. Being up at seven was doing nothing for him. He strode ahead, Bowser following him closely. "And I'm getting god-damn sick of it. If you can't control your own little pet, what the hell do you want _me_ to do about it? You lay off me."

Samus drew in a breath as she heard this. "Pet? What pet? I thought Bowser wasn't capable of treating an animal like one?"

Peach groaned. "Well, Sammie, maybe he's talking about the Hammer Bros, you know how he treats and pays them well-"

But her excuse died on her lips as she realized that Samus had indeed tied two and two together. Of course! Bowser didn't particularly love Hammer Bros, nor did he really have a preference for a particular minion of his. Also, Snake had referred to a singular animal, which could only be one particular Smasher. The bounty hunter stood completely still for a while, gazing at Snake and Bowser blandly, trying to grasp the situation; but then her face twisted into an expression of disgust and fury, and she ran out towards the two Smashers.

"_Solid Snake_!" She shrieked. "What did you do to Yoshi?"

The mercenary turned around, looking fed up but largely unsurprised.

"God, not you as well!" He exclaimed in an exasperated tone as he turned back. Bowser turned to look at Samus, his gaze unusually nervous, but Snake was striding up the corridor way ahead. He quickly jogged to keep up with the soldier; although he knew that Snake wasn't a fast runner, he was still way slower than the mercenary. Samus Aran, however, _wasn't_, and she caught up with the two Smashers just as they turned another corner and through a wooden door. She slammed the door behind her, momentarily failing to take notice of Peach, who had gathered up her skirts and was now hurriedly following them.

"_I can't believe you actually did that_!" The bounty hunter was shouting; she had taken a deep breath and was about to scream out something else when Peach hastily wedged a piece of turnip in her mouth to quieten her. Snake and Bowser looked on humorlessly.

"Quiet, Sammie!" The princess hissed. "Dr. Mario's office is down here! If he woke up and heard us making all this racket-"

Samus tried to reply with a kind of sharp retort, but only a muffled sound came from her mouth. Peach quickly led her away, trotting along the two male Smashers' heels, turning a corner and then out of hearing range from the Doctor's office. Dr. Mario had not come out to check on the source of the sounds, which was a relief. Bowser glanced around sheepishly, ignoring the bounty hunter (who was trying to get the turnip out of her mouth) and Snake to look at Peach.

"Princess, this doesn't concern you..." The Koopa king mumbled. "I... I was the one asking Snake anyway... I'll... deal with it..."

"The hell that's going to happen," Samus choked out hoarsely as she managed to get the turnip out. She threw it out of the window, shuddering in disgust before pointing an accusing finger at Snake. "if I may remind you, Snake, I actually asked Luigi for information a few months back. He said that he knew nothing about you and the Pikmin... or Yoshi... but it now appears that he has been lying! Perhaps I'll have another - _word _with him after I've finished dealing with you-"

Peach gasped. "Oh, Samus! How could you? That was why he was so scared of brawling with you that time!"

Snake merely sneered at the bounty hunter. "So it was really you, then," he said contemptuously. "I didn't imagine that you would stoop so low. If you had a problem with me, why the hell didn't you sort it out with me in the first place? You must be the smartest dumb person in the entire hotel."

"And you're the dumbest _dumb_ person in the entire _universe_!" Samus snapped back. "It's what I'm meant to be doing! Interrogating friends or close associates of the suspect in question is what I'm trained to do! And it's not like I _injured_ him!"

"Can you honestly say that?" Snake replied. "Luigi was terrified of going near you for weeks because of that incident. What kind of psycho presses a gun to someone's throat when they want to ask for something _nicely_? You touch Luigi one more time and I'll break the arm that did it."

Samus's face was growing steadily redder throughout the whole exchange; despite the fact that the mercenary was being childish and immature, not to mention egoistical, it was getting annoying. She forced herself to keep calm, exhaled slowly and spoke up again: "That's not relevant to what I want to talk about now. What did you do with Yoshi?"

"I didn't do anything."

"You're lying." She immediately responded. Peach huffed from her side.

"Really, Samus, this is getting ridiculous!" She exclaimed with princess-like dignity - this was effective enough to get the bounty hunter stare at her - "I really don't think you should be saying all this to Snake. You have no proof he did anything with Yoshi, nor are you really in a position to protest about anything right now; what with you terrifying Luigi like that-"

Samus laughed harshly. "You have no idea what Snake can do," she said darkly, paying no attention to the princess's last statement. "in fact, I bet that was why you were awake at half five in the morning. Your shoes are all muddy - you must have been looking for Yoshi in Green Greens or Yoshi's Island, especially as nobody's seen him all yesterday!"

Bowser watched helplessly - since when had a simple matter of asking Solid Snake of Yoshi's whereabouts developed into a fight? Snake himself looked bored, and stood with crossed arms - he did seem as if he were seriously considering whether to just leave the two women arguing in the corridor. As the Koopa king looked on uneasily, the mercenary glared at him.

"I blame you." Snake muttered.

"What for?"

"You could have at least saved your questions for later. Look what we've got on our hands now."

Bowser shrugged and sighed. Snake didn't seem to be very serious with his remark, so he could probably let that slide. He was growing soft, the Koopa king decided with an ironic inner smile, before he turned to the two women.

"Look, can we just settle this?" He almost pleaded. No matter who he happened to be, Bowser was still up much too early for his own good and he was feeling a migraine coming on. He just wanted to find Yoshi, check that he was fine, and go back to bed. "Is Yoshi alive and kicking or what?"

"Thank you!" Samus loudly interjected, cutting off the argument. "That's precisely what I want to ask Snake. What have you done to him, and is he even alive right now? Somehow I really doubt that," she added with a glare at the mercenary. "Peach here's apparently attempted to find Yoshi for God knows how long, and you at least owe her an explanation."

Snake chuckled humourlessly. "Got to start by _finding _Yoshi, eh?" he said. "Not_ looking _for him and contemplating all the possible options before that?"

"Well, yes, but-" Peach tried hopelessly.

"So it's proof that I didn't do anything with Yoshi that you want, isn't it?" Snake asked the bounty hunter, who nodded quietly in response. "Well, take me to Yoshi's suite. Let's see if he comes out or not. If he doesn't, only then do you have the right to do something with me. Until then, I don't see why you should be accusing an innocent man."

Samus bit her lip in thought; she seemed tempted to refuse his offer and give him a sharp reply, but said nothing and merely started walking, motioning for the others to follow her.

* * *

The metal elevator doors slid slowly open as the four people inside stepped out onto the luscious velvet-carpeted floor. Samus and Peach were leading the way, walking ahead of the male Smashers in silence; the princess occasionally glaced at the bounty hunter with a hint of uneasiness, but that was all. Snake followed them, his arms crossed but otherwise the only one who actually looked as if he were enjoying the entire situation. Bowser was last, and he did seem as if he just wanted to go back to his own suite and forget about everything; his movements are sluggish and slower than usual.

After a minute, Samus stopped in front of a door. "This is Yoshi's suite," she said calmly, and then she looked back at Snake. "Peach, Bowser, step back. Seeing as Snake's the one proving his innocence - I think he should call Yoshi out. That is, if he's even in there."

"I don't see why he isn't." The mercenary replied.

"If he fails to appear in five minutes..." Samus laughed in an oddly cynical manner. "...but until then, do all you can."

Snake said nothing, but quietly faced the door. He didn't do anything; he just stood there, silently gazing at the door for a full minute, not even knocking or calling out. Samus watched, a proud smirk on her lips - soon, she thought, the mercenary was going to crack and admit to the fact that he'd eaten Yoshi. That had to be what had happened to the dinosaur. What else?

"Hey, Yoshi!" Snake suddenly shouted into the keyhole. "Me, Samus, Peach and Bowser are going to throw some Yoshi cookies out of the window! Want to come and watch?"

All three other Smashers were admittedly shocked by his sudden behaviour; Bowser stepped forwards, looking confused.

"But we aren't-"

"Shush." Snake said quietly, and resumed staring at the door.

For ten seconds, nothing happened - but then, to the disbelief of the female Smashers (and to the relief of the Koopa king), the door slowly opened to reveal Yoshi chomping happily on an apple. He looked completely unharmed, and even somewhat pleased to see visitors at his door. He tossed the apple core into the air, and extended his long, sticky tongue to catch it and throw it into the bin at the side; this reassured the Smashers that Yoshi was indeed 'alive and kicking'.

"Yoshi!" Peach and Bowser both cried, jumping forwards to hug the dinosaur tightly (who squealed and chirped, snuggling into their arms); Snake laughed, and turned to Samus triumphantly.

"Well, there you go," he said to the dumbstruck bounty hunter. "There he is. I don't think he looks injured, traumatized, or eaten in any way, do _you_?"

Samus was speechless.

"But how?" Peach kept on asking. "We knocked at Yoshi's door yesterday, and he never came out. How can he just appear like that? Is he really all right?"

"Yoshi is a hibernating animal. He probably was asleep for a great deal of time." Snake offered his explanation. "I may not have a pure, kind heart - in fact, I've got a distinctively _impure_ one, according to some - but I'd never do anything to a fellow Smasher. Would you not agree?"

"Of course I do," the pink princess said, shooting Samus a dirty look. "I've got to tell the few others who thought he'd disappeared... Yoshi, dear, you have a brawl due in one o'clock, okay?"

Yoshi squealed and somersaulted.

* * *

Oh, the incident ended on a fine note, of course; Samus's frantic attempts to convince the other Smashers that this was all a scam backfired on her after Peach insisted that she get some rest. She led the bounty hunter away to her own suite, alerted Zelda and Falco, and everything ended well.

However, Snake thought wryly, they had been completely fooled. The Yoshi battling his heart out on the battlefield was not the same Yoshi that had entered the tournament.

Unbeknownst to the others, he had been secretly looking up info on the species very carefully, being cautious not to leave any traces of his research and queries; he did, after all, have a heart and didn't want to evoke the wrath of Samus Aran. At first he'd thought that he was wasting his time - there was no way to eat Yoshi and replace him with another one, just like that. That was impossible. Cloning was definitely not an option. The breakthrough did not come until much, much later.

During the weeks of research, he finally had his lucky break; Snake had found out that certain kinds of foods allowed Yoshis to lay special eggs. Even though Yoshi never lay eggs outside of brawl, and those eggs were either empty or contained only Smashers, if he exploited this carefully - the possibilities were endless. So over time he had gained a little of the dinosaur's trust - not a very difficult task - and had started feeding him different foods.

The hotdogs and burgers had no effect whatsoever, but for some reason, when he fed Yoshi a watermelon the dinosaur laid a bright, shining egg. It was apparently empty, but it had a very pretty glow to it that astounded even the mercenary; he looked into this phenomenon, and found that certain fruits made Yoshis lay what people called 'Neon Eggs'. Those eggs shone brighter than most light bulbs available. Said egg was now in the mercenary's bedroom, and he used it as a kind of night-light.

But after much experimenting, he finally discovered that three whole Heart Containers did a magic job of restoring Yoshi to his more 'normal' nature. That meant that he could now lay eggs where baby Yoshis could hatch from. He used this fact to his advantage, and after a week or so, had a cute little baby Yoshi in his hands.

Now Snake was not a cruel man. There was no way he could eat something he was raising. Although Yoshis grew remarkably fast, and he simply had to keep it in his spare room and feed it, he wasn't that heartless. So he waited and bid his time until the hatched Yoshi was of a reasonable size and resembled the other one exactly. When the hatched Yoshi went into hibernation state to finish its final stages of growth, that was when Snake finally fulfilled his dream. He made sure that the 'victim' didn't suffer before doing anything.

To be perfectly honest, he hadn't expected the hatched Yoshi to be so familiar and so friendly with the Smashers. It appeared that some of the other Yoshi's affectionate nature and DNA had gone into him, rendering him an almost-clone of the original Yoshi. That part was simply pure luck - but it had been a wonderfully delicate, yet perfect plan that he had executed.

What now? He still had some of the mince in his fridge, and some dried Yoshi meat to add to his rations. If he could keep this up, and continue the plan up until when they got back to their own worlds, he could do a lot and have a constant supply of meat.

Perhaps he could create a Yoshi land in the countryside.

He looked down at Yoshi - who was now squealing and leaping enthusiastically into the air at his victory - and grinned.


	35. 35: Final Arrangements

**Author's Note:** This chapter took a long while, no? Well, it's possible that the next one will take longer.

Don't expect anything from me in WtCB for a couple of weeks or so. Coursework has taken its toll and I must urgently do it. Sucks, but that's life for you. I need to hand in those assignments, pronto. x.x

Anyhows, this chapter is one last look at a really fluffy chapter that I wrote oh so often. Something rather sorrowful happens, and the rest is pure friendliness. It's very typically WtCB-like. This is the third-to-last chapter; the next will be the ending, and the one after that is the epilogue. This also contains some Luigi's Mansion references. Melody Pianissima was always my favourite ghost. She was so vain and fun to battle.

Enjoy, my dear readers.

* * *

The mahogany door slid slowly open on its hinges, and a soft curious face peeked inside the room. "Snake? Are you in there? It's me, Luigi."

There was no answer; but Luigi simply pushed his way into the room and closed the door behind him as quietly as possible. He then tiptoed into the main living area, looking around; the room was untidy and looked mostly unlived in, and even somewhat dangerous - as there were guns and bullets lying all around the floor - bur he was completely unfazed by this facade and carried on examining the place for something. When an orange-like colour caught his eye, he carefully crept over to it and smiled.

"Rise and shine, Snake," he called softly, knocking on the box three times. There was no reply, so he lifted up the corner of the cardboard box and crept inside, neatly dropping it back down on the ground. He smiled happily as he settled back on the wall of the box and looked at the only other occupant within.

The mercenary was fast asleep, his head bent, his chest rising and falling with each breath. He slept surprisingly quietly, not even snoring or muttering in his sleep (like Luigi sometimes did). Luigi smiled, gazing at him in silence, enjoying one of the rare moments when they were together in the box where Snake ended up asleep. The mercenary hardly slept, but in the rare times that he did, he slept very much like a log.

"Wake up, Snake."

Luigi gently shook the mercenary by the shoulders as he said this; Snake shifted around, let out a little 'mmm' and opened one eye tiredly, focusing on Luigi's face. Soon, he opened both eyes and blinked a few times, trying to rid himself of his blurry vision - but then his eyes became unglazed and sharp, and he sat up.

"Sleepyhead," Luigi chuckled, putting his arm around the soldier. "you even left your door unlocked."

"Did I?" Snake leaned against the younger Mario brother's shoulder, closing his eyes tightly once more; he had awoken much too soon. "And I wondered... how you came in..."

"Come on then."

"Just another five minutes."

"Don't be so childish." Luigi laughed, but he didn't sound cross. He poked Snake on the cheek and tickled his chin, giggling as he saw the mercenary squirm and mumble something incomprehensible. "Come on, get up. Remember what we need to do today?"

Snake said nothing and stayed stone still for a few seconds; but then his eyes snapped open, and he shot up so quickly that the box fell off them with a faint clatter. "God-damn it! I nearly forgot! What's the time?"

Luigi looked rather startled at the spontaneous movement, and blinked a few times before giving his answer. "It's a quarter to eight. Snake, if you really want, you could have another five minutes sleep - I mean, he told us to come at half eight, didn't he?"

"Nonsense," the soldier replied briskly. "I'm not risking anything. You know what I'm like when I'm asleep. And I don't want to keep the Doctor waiting." Snake got up and went straight to the bathroom, all sleep gone from his eyes; the younger Mario brother smiled lightly before he got up and pulled the cardboard box apart. He was a kind soul and would save the mercenary's work for him.

"Stop mangling that box!" Snake called irritably from the bathroom. "Luigi, for God's sake, that box is like my _kid_! Nobody except me is allowed to pull it apart!"

Luigi sighed and rolled his eyes.

* * *

"I'm glad you could come out here. I know it's cold - I do apologize, but I just didn't think I could put it off any longer." Dr. Mario said softly as they walked through Yoshi's Island. "I do think that it'll help... well... Luigi, where did you find this dove?" In one hand he held a wooden perch, the snowy-white fantail dove perched neatly on it; it looked at the Doctor, and the two Smashers following closely behind, and occasionally ruffled its wings. It seemed somewhat uneasy - it was apparently trying to figure out what was going on. Dr. Mario smiled sadly at it, and carefully stroked the back of its neck. He wore gloves so that no human scent could pass on to the dove and possibly make it a target from hostile attackers.

"It was around here. Where you can see the Shy Guys floating around." Luigi replied, giving the older man a rather sorrowful glance. "I suppose it couldn't be with us for ever."

"No, it couldn't," Dr. Mario answered. "and it'll be better that way. It belongs here in the wild." Snake said nothing, but watched as the dove cooed. "besides... it's fully grown now. It should be able to look after itself."

Luigi shivered in the cold, wrapping his thick red-striped scarf around himself. He squinted into the air - and then pointed to the distance. "There. I see the Shy Guys now."

The dove looked at the Doctor, its black beady eyes searching for his gaze. Somehow it seemed to know that its time with the gentle Doctor was nearly over; it cooed again and nuzzled into his chest, trying to get more warmth. Dr. Mario looked on, softly ruffling the downy feathers on its chest and back. It 'preened' his hand, signaling its affection.

"I wish I could keep you," he said sadly, and then he held out the perch to the air, where a nice breeze was blowing. "... Come on now. Go!"

The dove didn't budge. It looked at the open air and then back again at the Doctor.

"Go on. Don't make this any harder."

Still nothing.

"Come on." Dr. Mario coaxed gently, pointing the dove in the direction of the woods. "I can't keep you. As much as I want to, I can't. Now get going." He gave the dove a small push, encouraging it to start flying away.

The dove stayed still for another moment. But then, slowly, it flapped its wings while sitting on the perch, the beating steadily getting louder and rhythmic. Still looking at the Doctor, it then hovered a few centimetres above the perch, eventually turning around and flying away into the distance. It seemed to flutter down to the ground for a moment, but then its flight gained strength; and before any of them really knew it, the dove had disappeared amongst the trees and was gone.

There was silence for a while.

"It might come back for a time," Luigi attempted to break the silence, gazing at Dr. Mario (who was now staring in the direction that the dove had went). "I heard that released birds often come back for food in the same spot as they were released. Don't you worry too much, Doctor."

"That bird will be fine," Snake added in quietly. "there aren't many predators around here, and we're out of stage boundaries. It'll be able to go and live a normal life."

"Yes." Dr. Mario replied softly, but his expression was rather saddened. "I just wish... it could have been easier. I'll... put some grain and mealworms out here... just in case it does decide to come along..."

He lapsed into silence again, staring at the horizon.

"Doctor?"

"I apologize." Dr. Mario smiled sadly. "I'm... over-reacting, am I not? I mean... it was never meant to be a pet after all. But when I watched it go... it made me feel... empty. That was all."

Snake and Luigi both nodded quietly, and that was enough.

* * *

After saying a small, reassuring goodbye to Dr. Mario, the two had decided to go to Luigi's Mansion to cheer themselves up. The Doctor had withdrawn back into his office, saying that he wanted some time alone with his viruses; and neither of the Smashers really wanted to go to their usual hang-outs. Too many people. They needed some quiet time.

"Did I ever introduce you to any one of the ghosts in this place?" Luigi walked down the hallway as he spoke, Snake following closely behind.

"Nope. Never." A small grin spread on the mercenary's lips. "I hope they know how to have some fun?"

Luigi laughed. "Most of them are a crabby bunch. They moan whenever the Smashers come in to brawl and knock the whole mansion down and complain about it to me. There was this poor old artist squashed under a floorboard for ten minutes when it happened a few months back - he later gave me hell about it." He scratched his head guiltily. "I... well... I do know one ghost who's moderately friendly, though. Want to meet her? She won't attack you."

"I'd love to." Snake replied, now sounding highly interested. "What kind of trickery does she specialise in, then?"

"You'll see."

Luigi climbed up the stairs, dusting himself free of the grime that had gathered on the banisters as he reached the top. He walked along the hallway and then opened a door, revealing a luxurious velvet-lined room with various musical instruments lying around. Although they looked old and mostly unplayed on, they were certainly free of dust and looked perfectly playable. Snake hadn't been aware that they still used wood to make flutes and piccolos - and was about to comment on the oddity of the room when Luigi began to bustle around touching the instruments at least once.

"What-" The mercenary began to raise the issue, but Luigi shushed him and carried on doing what he was doing. He wasn't playing them, he was literally giving them a little press and squeeze here and there - but what the mercenary thought was absolutely unbelievable was the fact that after the green-clad plumber went past them, they began making strange, haunting sounds that hamonized together to create an oddly mesmerizing melody.

Snake recognized it as the music that played every Tuesdays and Saturdays on the Mushroomy Kingdom Overworld.

The younger Mario brother finished playing a small riff on the guitar, put it down, and walked back over to the mercenary. "I always have to activate them in that order. She gets really cranky if I do anything out of order. Such a fussy ghost."

"Who are you calling fussy?" An irate voice called from the grand piano; this was completely unexpected to the mercenary, who took a small step back in alarm. Come to think of it, had there been someone else in this room before they came in? The only instrument that Luigi had left alone had been the grand piano. Could it be-

"Now, now, mind your manners!" The green-clad plumber called pleasantly, not at all affected by the haughtiness of the voice. "We have a guest today. Behave yourself."

There was no answer for a second, but then something very... _pink_ and yellow materialized on the chair of the grand piano, soon taking the shape of a young girl with long blonde hair wearing a pink-purple dress. Her hands were delicately folded across her lap, and she looked oddly annoyed, staring at Luigi with her blue eyes. Everything about her was strange; her muslin dress was probably back from at least three hundred years ago. Her eyes lacked pupils and her skin was a pale blue.

Not to mention that she was also semi-transparent.

"I'd like you to meet Melody Pianissima, Snake." Luigi gestured towards the ghost. "Melody, this is Snake. He's a great friend of mine."

The young girl stood up and really seemed to see the mercenary for the first time. She stared at them for a while, looking at the mercenary's tall physique, his trim waist, muscular body, and also comparing how he looked next to Luigi. Snake stepped forwards, taking care not to make his body language look aggressive. Ghost or no ghost, it was a lady he was dealing with and he couldn't get on her bad side. As much as he hated to admit it, he feared it when women were angry at him. They had very... _inventive_ ways of torturing and punishing men that got on their nerves.

"I'm pleased to meet you, my lady." He said with sudden, undeniable charm; and Melody looked pleasantly startled. She blinked a few times, before she suddenly smiled, and curtsied in return.

"The pleasure is mine," Melody replied politely, sounding considerably more relieved and kind. "Do please call me Melody. I trust that Luigi here has been telling you about this mansion?"

"He has indeed."

"I'm one of the younger ghosts in this place," she gestured all around the room. "back when I was alive, I was an expert pianist. Shame I died before I even got to the larger concert halls! I could have been famous... I could have been touring all around the world... had a nice boyfriend... that's one more thing about coming back as a ghost." She shuddered, before glancing in Luigi's direction. "Luigi, Shivers isn't around, is he? Tell me he isn't and I'll love you for ever."

Luigi shook his head. "He's not here at all. I only had to choose the most interesting ghosts to come with this mansion for this tournament, and he wasn't included."

"Thank goodness. That was a good choice you made there." Melody sighed in relief and turned to Snake. "Shivers is the butler. He was seventy-two years old when he died and he's so _creepy_. I can't stick him. He thinks he's good enough for me. _Me_! Why did I have to get stuck in the same mansion as him?"

Snake looked around at Luigi, who was in silent hysterics; Melody seemed too busy being tragic to notice. He hid a quiet smile and addressed the ghost girl again. "Don't you worry. You _are_ very beautiful, Melody - I'm sure there will be other suitors who would love to meet you. Wouldn't you agree, Luigi?"

"Oh, definitely!" Luigi replied, while struggling to keep a straight face. A spot of colour rose to the ghost's cheeks as she blushed lightly at the compliment.

"Why, thank you." Melody said while smiling at Snake. "I've only been dead three hundred and thirty years. I've still got plenty of time to find someone nice. But well... if the thought ever strikes you..." she blushed deeply, sitting back down at the piano. "...well, never mind about that. Would you two like to hear a song? I've composed it for a few months, and it's not the best song in the world, but I am quite proud of it."

"Say yes," Luigi whispered to Snake, trying not to move his lips. "it's not usually like her to be modest. Get on her good side."

"I'd love to." Snake replied, sitting down on the soft ground; he patted the spot next to him, inviting Luigi to sit down with him. The green-clad plumber did so, and when Melody was convinced that she had the two men ready to listen to her song, she nodded and began playing.

The mercenary was not a very musical person, but even he did appreciate some classical piano music. And Melody hadn't been exaggerating; she did play very well, and with art rather than technique. She could have done a great deal as a concert pianist. Her music was very peaceful and smooth, unlike her 'fierce demeanor', as Luigi whispered to him halfway through her piece. Her hands were lean and delicate with long fingers, ideal for manipulating the piano keys to her own will; the music lasted about five minutes or so, and when she was done, the men stood up and clapped, praising her talent. She became very red (again) and curtseyed politely.

"A true _virtuosa_, won't you agree?" Luigi smiled.

"That was beautiful, my lady." Snake said, and Melody giggled happily.

"It was nothing. I'm glad you liked it, Luigi, and Snake..." She hesitated. "_May_ I call you Snake?"

The mercenary nodded. "Everyone does."

She nodded back. "I must take my leave now. I can only stay visible in this world for so long." A tragic sigh. "I really enjoyed meeting you, Snake. Someday, when you're in the same position as mine - well, if the thought ever strikes you, you're welcome to share my room." Melody said all this in a very fast pace, a bright blush on her face; she disappeared into thin air as soon as she'd finished speaking.

"Hah!" Luigi exclaimed humorously as they emerged from the music room. "Snake, I think Melody's taken a fancy to you! She's offered you to stay with her in her room - that means you've even got a permanent residence booked for your mortal remains! If that ever happens, be prepared to listen to her playing her piano twenty-four hours a day, seven times a week. And she'll expect you to comment on every piece as well."

"Wouldn't mind that. She was a very charming lady. Very beautiful too."

"That's true." Luigi nodded. "Melody's quite vain, and she's really crazy when you catch her in a bad mood. But she'll never really harm you, unless she gets really angry and starts throwing around her music sheets. But you're right, she _is_ pretty. She's been calm recently - she's actually really nice and charming (as you call her) when you get to be her friend." The green-clad plumber grinned. "More charming than you are, certainly. And she's technically undead too."

"Hey, nobody can be more charming than me," Snake laughed good-naturedly, pulling Luigi close in a playful manner. The latter squirmed and chuckled. "I may not be a pianist myself, but I can always learn something similar. Not to mention that I have amazing powers of observation - I'll never get too boring for anyone. I always know what people want."

"Get off, Snake!" Luigi chuckled and shrugged the other's arm off. Snake merely tried again, this time even going as far as to pick up the younger Mario brother and heave him up to his shoulders before walking again. Luigi squealed at the sudden action, soon bursting into laughter as the mercenary walked through the hallway with him slung over his shoulders. "Let me down, will you? Oh God!"

"Ooh, what's in here?" Snake said in a sing-song voice as he picked a random door and went inside. "If you explain one aspect of this room... I might let you go. And if you don't have an explanation ready, be prepared for your punishment."

Luigi gagged. "I don't even want to know. Let me _down_, you great lump, and I'll tell you." Snake complied, and let the green-clad plumber free. "Finally! All right, what do you want to know?"

"What's in that cupboard over there?"

"Oh, that!" Luigi smiled, and opened the cupboard, revealing a whole collection of trophies within a mirror-lined interior. "I bagged this cupboard for my trophy collection. I've got at least two hundred here, and some more upstairs. I must have about five hundred in total."

"Impressive." Snake was looking through some of the trophies, picking a few up and reading the description at the bottom. "There's a trophy for _Negative Zone_? Looks like some kind of... crystal orb, that's it. It looks exactly like a crystal orb with four of you holding some kind of satanic ritual around Mario." He carefully examined the trophy, brushing his hand over the surface. "I've got to get myself one of these..."

Luigi laughed good-heartedly. "Have a look around. I have more than one of some trophies. Like this one - I think it's from your universe." He offered one to Snake, squinting at the label underneath. "Iroquois... Pliskin? He looks a _lot_ like you, if I may say so myself..."

"I _am_ Iroquois Pliskin." Snake smirked, glancing at the other's stunned expression before taking the trophy and examining it carefully. "Ah, fond memories... I had to spy around a lot too in my world. This is one of my finest disguises. But considering you almost saw through it, I suppose I wouldn't have been able to fool people who knew at least a few personal things about me. I looked much better back then."

"So it isn't your real name?"

"No. Not any more than 'Solid Snake' is." The mercenary replaced the trophy and smiled at it. "that's one secret of mine that only about two people know in the whole world."

"You have great naming sense, then. I mean... Iroquois Pliskin... you can hardly _say_ it, let alone use the name as a spy." Luigi teased, but said no more about it.

* * *

Snake heaved himself up on the roof of the mansion, Luigi following close behind. The sky was darkening now, a cool breeze blowing across the grassy lawn; it was only three o'clock in the afternoon, but now that it was winter, the sun set quite early. The mercenary sat back and gazed with calm, grey eyes at the horizon. Luigi observed him in silence; he realized that the soldier was staring at the direction of Yoshi's Island, where they had set the dove free a few hours prior.

"Poor Dr. Mario." Luigi whispered softly. "I thought he might end up keeping it. But he was true to his word, wasn't he?"

"Yeah," Snake replied. "... shame. He's so affectionate to animals, that's the problem. You've seen how he treats his viruses. They're like his family. Must pain him a lot to let an animal go, I daresay."

"But the dove's going to be alright, isn't it?"

"I see no reason why it shouldn't be." Snake turned to him with a small smile. "Dr. Mario made sure it was fully healed. And it was quite strong too."

Luigi didn't give a verbal reply, but smiled back and looked up at the setting sun. Snake gazed at it also - before a breeze whistled past his bare arms and neck, and he shivered despite himself.

"You must be cold. Want me to get you a coat?"

"I'm fine," the mercenary said quickly, not wanting to worry Luigi. "It's winter, and we'll be down at the hotel soon. I'm all right, Luigi. Really."

The younger Mario brother remained unconvinced. "Don't you lie to me, Snake. I saw you shiver. At least share a scarf with me. Please?"

"Well..." Snake was about to turn down the offer, but Luigi's expression was getting to him. It wasn't pleading, nor was it sorrowful; it was kind of a direct plea, the kind of expression that made people want to stop what they were doing and immediately hug that person. The green-clad plumber seldom made that expression, but whenever he did, it never failed to win the mercenary over. Even though he cursed himself for being so weak-willed, he couldn't help accepting. "... all right..."

Luigi's face brightened, and he immediately draped half of his long scarf around Snake's neck, nestling closer to him so that they could share comfortably.

"Mmm. That's nice." He murmured with a dozy smile.

The mercenary said nothing, but put an arm around the other's shoulders in response.


	36. 36: Dance With Me, Part One

**Author's Note:** Alrighty, it's now the real ending of 'Within the Cardboard Box' I've been talking about so often. Yes, this is now the end. When a story goes on for a while, it tends to lose its charm a little. I wanted to end this collection on a note that would satisfy the readers and not drag it out unnecessarily. The whole story, with now more than thirty chapters, would have lost much of its surreal, sometimes overly fluffy charm and originality if I went on for much longer. So this is where it ends.

I do hope you won't be disappointed though - because the ending is actually a two-part. Yes, by doing that, I broke my promise I made back in the 'Birthday Picnic' chapters, I realize that. x.x However, I couldn't leave you all with a massive TL;DR of an ending full of bawwedness. That would just kind of be bad to the story. And I've kept you waiting for two weeks. So what I'm giving you is a massive TL;DR two-part full of bawwedness. Fun times.

GHEY GHEY GHEY alert. **But no actual couple relationship.** Snake and Luigi don't suddenly burst into tears, kiss and become a couple, nor do they become one at all. That will never happen in the ending, or the epilogue. But there are so many hints in this chapter I found myself facepalming at the end. I mean... to be spoileric... they _dance_. x.x Non-yaoi fans might find that while this chapter does not contain pairing love, it may be a little off what you expect and intensify your disgust for me. x.x I was partly afraid to put up this chapter, but then decided that as WtCB is a very versatile story collection, nearly anything goes.

Read on... the next part will be up when I fill in all the gaps.

* * *

"Snake!" Luigi's voice cried from above. "Help me!"

The mercenary, who had been carefully sorting out Luigi's trophy collection into boxes - ready to send them off ahead of the Smashers' individual luggage - instantly dropped the Cook Kirby trophy on the soft carpeted floor and sprinted out of the room. He found Luigi curled up and whimpering in the stairway, a Boo cackling above him.

"Get out, you!" Snake tried to wave away the Boo, but it merely bent down with its short stumpy arms over its face, blushing. The mercenary sighed and reached for his handgun, although he knew that it wouldn't actually harm the Boo itself - but it turned and quickly drifted down the corridor, deciding that the mercenary was too much effort to handle. Glad that he didn't have to deal with it - Boos, despite their initial plump and cute appearance, were absolutely horrible to take care of - he then turned to the still-cowering plumber. "Luigi? You all right?"

"Oh, Snake!" Luigi leapt up and then clung tightly to the mercenary, who appeared to be startled by the sudden action. "I-I'm sorry... but that Boo was so _scary_!"

Snake would have contradicted this any other day, because he knew that Luigi was all too aware that Boos were not scary once their presence was used to. But he noticed that as the day they had to say goodbye drew near, Luigi had been clinging to him more and more often; so rather than break the other's spirits even more, he simply nodded and held the other tight. The green-clad plumber nuzzled into his arms and shut his eyes tightly, still trembling.

"It's all right, Luigi. It's gone now." Snake coaxed softly, the way that one would comfort a child, gently patting the other man on the back. Luigi glanced up with fearful eyes and gazed around his surroundings; only when he had assured himself that the Boo wasn't around did he let go of Snake.

"Sorry about that," the green-clad plumber said. "I guess... maybe... it wasn't so bad after all. It's just that I get so scared."

The soldier smiled at him, and turned around in the direction he came from. "Well, you're all right now. I better get back to packing the trophies. I've done most of them."

"I'll come too." Luigi said, following him through the corridor, wincing lightly as the floorboards creaked underneath his feet. "Man... Melody's being cranky again, seeing as this place is going to get moved... thank you for helping me clear out the mansion, Snake. I really appreciate it."

"No problem," Snake waved off the thanks, but he did look secretly pleased. It was true; the tournament would end that very night, and the next day the Smashers would depart the hotel. Luigi had to clear out his mansion and pack his luggage, and Snake had offered to lend a hand - so it was natural that he was glad that the other appreciated his efforts. As all the Smashers were mostly doing the same thing, this was hardly a surprising thing to be doing - but the concept of leaving the hotel so soon was highly upsetting to all of them. Snake tried to shake off the feeling - he entered the trophy room and walked inside, picking up the Cook Kirby trophy that he had dropped. It hadn't been damaged the slightest, which he was immensely glad for; he packed that one into the box and stood up with his hands on his hips, looking into the mirror-lined cupboard. "Luigi, have you sent off the other batch of trophies already?"

Luigi shook his head. "Uh-uh. I've put them into three separate boxes, but that's all. They're all stacked up in the next room."

The mercenary gave him a rather sad smile. They really were close to saying goodbye now. The younger Mario brother seemed to think the same thing, and sighed heavily, sinking down on the ground. He gazed blankly outside, a small frown on his face.

Snake said nothing more and carried on packing the trophies inside the box, finally closing the cupboard door and sealing the cardboard box flaps with packing tape. His eyes drifted towards Luigi as he did this. "Coming to the dance tonight?"

"Yeah," the green-clad plumber replied nonchalantly, fiddling with his hat. Master Hand had organized a buffet and dance for the night, inviting every Smasher for the final celebrations. "I probably won't be up on the dance floor, though. Don't you try to find me there."

The older man laughed and heaved the box up in his arms; it wasn't a heavy load, but the bulk of the box was quite large nonetheless. "I won't be up there either. I might just stand there talking throughout the entire night."

"I wouldn't be surprised."

"Shall I carry this next door?"

"Do so." Luigi walked out of the room, with the mercenary following. He tugged open the next door (_'pardon me, Snake, this door's a bit stiff - must be the damp_') and held it open for Snake as he entered the room and placed the box down on the ground along with several of its same kind. He then patted it reassuringly, that being his usual treatment of cardboard boxes, while Luigi grinned next to him. "you must _really_ like them. Were you like this in your world too?"

Snake gave him a wink. "I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for those babies. I owe a lot to them." Luigi laughed; he sat down on the bed, inviting the mercenary to sit beside him. The latter did so, sweeping his gaze over the place - speaking of which, this was the very room that Luigi had brought him to rest in that fateful day, when he'd discovered the existance of Mr. L. It was sure a relief to see that the younger Mario brother wasn't having those attacks anymore. The room was still the same, with the stuck door, the electric chandelier, and the photos on the table...

"Hmm?" the mercenary suddenly leaned forwards to look at the bedside table. Sure enough, there were the four silver-framed photos still in their respective places, but there was a slight change in their placements. Instead of four pictures arranged together and a frame that was laid facedown at the back, the latter picture was now held upright and placed amongst the others. The picture of Mr. L still looked out ominously from the fifth frame, but it was no longer hidden from view.

"Snake? What is it?"

"The photo." Snake stated, peering closely at the five frames on the table... "But... you loathed the Mr. L one! Why did you..."

"Because of you, Snake." Luigi answered, a mild smile on his face. He bent down and grasped the edge of the frame that held the dreaded photograph, looking straight into it without flinching. "I've decided to accept that Mr. L's a part of me. And perhaps I'll be able to keep him dormant if my willpower's strong enough, Dr. Mario told me so... and I believe that can happen. It's not close to that yet. But soon." He smiled wide, and replaced the frame on the table.

"I'm not going to hide anymore, Snake. I'm not going to give up. And it's all thanks to you."

* * *

_Where is he?_

Luigi sighed and fiddled with his tie as he stood by a wall, hours later. Master Hand had kept his promise, and had set up a glorious buffet table for the Smashers; that had been an hour ago, and as they had all eaten their fill (excepting Wario, Kirby, Yoshi, and some of the late-comers), the musicians were tuning up for the dance that would commence until midnight. Luigi himself had only arrived ten minutes ago, not being hungry enough to attend the buffet early. He'd only taken a couple slices of ham, a few olives, tomato slices and a bagel, along with a small cup of coffee for his meal - he'd been feeling too nervous. Snake was nowhere to be seen, although he'd promised to be at the hall as soon as possible -

"Hey," a soft voice called him from behind. Luigi turned around and looked before his face lit up in a smile. "sorry I was late."

"Snake!" the younger Mario brother exclaimed quietly as he saw the other man. The latter was also wearing formal attire, his black suit sharply pressed along with a smart tie; his usually-disheveled hair was also combed back slightly. For a moment, the plumber could hardly believe that this man was a soldier - he looked so immaculate and gentlemanly that it quite threw the other off guard. However, there was still a familiar bright glint in the mercenary's eyes, and he could see that the green bandanna that Snake wore was in his pocket (the end of it was poking out slightly) and this got Luigi back on track again.

"You look nice," Snake commented as he surveyed the younger Mario brother. He was inwardly amazed at how the suit fitted Luigi so perfectly - many others who had decided to wear suits for the evening looked out of place, but not the younger Mario brother. Being slender and having just the right figure was probably what made him fit in well. That, and slicked back hair.

"And so do you, Snake."

"You up for some dancing, then?"

Luigi winced. "Not in front of _everybody_. But shouldn't you be eating something first?"

The mercenary shook his head. "Nah. Don't feel hungry at all. Come on, then... shall we go up to the balcony? We'll have some peace and quiet there."

"I don't see why not," Luigi answered, and they both crossed the hall and went up the large stairs to the balcony. Contrary to popular belief, the balcony in that hotel was nowhere near as romantic or wide as any other place - it was quite narrow, and only fit to accommodate two or three people. Everyone knew this fact and knew that if they were going to dance, sight-see or even make out, they were probably better off doing so in their own suite, the hall or even the outside. The balcony had actually gathered dust and some stray leaves - it was just that ignored. This point seemed proven; when Snake and Luigi reached the balcony and peered below them, they could see faint silhouettes of several other Smashers down in the gardens.

"What're they doing down there?"

"Talking and dancing, I suppose," Snake replied idly. "I hear Jigglypuff. That means that Meta Knight's down there as well. I guess they'd look rather awkward dancing together in the hall..."

Luigi had to agree on this wholeheartedly. As cute as it would look, two puffballs with extremely short arms trying to dance... just wouldn't seem _right_ in a hall full of tall people. Speaking of which, were they abiding to the formal attire rule of the evening? The plumber thought wryly of the idea of Meta Knight in a tuxedo, and then burst out laughing.

"Was that so funny?" Snake asked, pouting slightly, but he didn't sound cross. In fact, he sounded quite amused. "I didn't think you'd find dancing such an amusing topic."

Luigi put a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter as he looked at Snake. "No, no, you misunderstood me," a small giggle escaped him. "I wasn't laughing because of the subject of dance. It was only because it's Meta Knight and Jigglypuff. They won't be able to reach each other's hands at all when they're ballroom dancing-"

Snake looked at him for a second, and then promptly started laughing as well. As he did so, he reached out and fondly pinched the other's cheek. "Wicked, you are! But you're right, we don't have that problem. Hey, I may be the first one to suggest backing out from the hall before everyone got up and found a partner to dance with - I might not know a lot about dancing, but I can always make an attempt." the mercenary grinned, and then bent down, offering his hand in an imitation of a formal gesture. "_and_ I can be more polite than you think. _Voulez-vous danser avec moi_?" he asked in a sultry voice, making the other laugh and blush slightly.

"No need to be _that_ formal."

"Ah-ah." The mercenary shook his head, a mischievous glint entering his eyes. "That isn't an answer to my question. Yes or no?"

"_Si_." Luigi answered happily, bowing his head slightly. "So I take that you're going for a French dance?"

Snake placed an arm around Luigi's waist. "Not necessarily. I can tango, and that isn't a French dance, is it?"

The younger Mario brother stared.

"What?"

"That's got to be one of the randomest choices for ballroom dancing."

"But we aren't in the 'ballroom' right now." Snake reminded the plumber with a laugh. As if on cue, the musicians back in the hall struck up a fast-paced tune, which was exactly right for a tango. "You up for it, then? I'll teach you, if you want."

Luigi nodded and carefully grasped Snake's hand as the mercenary started. He was awkward with the moves, yes, because he hadn't ever tried this type of dance before; but the soldier was patient and went through the moves slowly, and within two minutes Luigi had fallen into a comfortable pace. The younger Mario brother was only too happy to let the mercenary guide him for a few more minutes, getting used to the moves and the occasional unpredictable twists that the mercenary put in; however, once he could keep up with the other's pace, he started to try to lead. The result was that the two men were trying to lead the dance at the same time, and with them being so closely pressed together, this was a _very_ awkward situation to be in.

Finally, confused with the whole thing, Snake just decided to give up and show everything he knew about dancing. Which, unfortunately, wasn't that much. The plumber let out a yelp of surprise and excitement when the mercenary stepped out of rhythm and let himself go.

"Snake, oh God, you can't dance," Luigi protested, but he was laughing fit to burst as the mercenary bent him backwards. The mercenary merely grinned and spun the other around on his toes once before letting go of his hand. Luigi squealed softly as he stumbled, but then he regained his balance, and stood on the balcony floor (still swaying lightly) as he wiped his brow. "Whew! That was actually quite fun."

"Now it's your turn, Luigi. Teach me a dance. Anything that isn't Latin American will do." The mercenary said mischievously, stepping forward. Luigi said nothing, but rubbed his chin in thought, wondering what he should do. "What're you thinking about, eh?"

"Just thinking about what I should teach you," Luigi replied. "I know how to foxtrot, quickstep... and I think I know a traditional Italian dance. Don't you _look_ at me like that, Snake," he said irritably. "I'm going to teach you something actually useful, all right?"

The mercenary shook his head. "... I wasn't exactly... _thinking_ about the traditional Italian dance."

Luigi looked at him oddly for a second, but then his face brightened and he clicked his fingers. "I know, I'll teach you a dance that's actually useful. Can you waltz?"

"No."

"Well, then that's what you'll be learning. I suppose I should start out from the very beginning." Luigi stepped back and bowed to Snake, who soon returned it in a very courteous manner. Even though he knew nothing about waltz, he did know how to be polite prior to a dance.

"_Vuoi danzare con me_?" The plumber murmured softly, holding out his hand, his eyes shining with happiness. Snake nodded; he accepted the hand, and stood together with the younger Mario brother, awkwardly placing a hand on his shoulder. Still smiling, Luigi gently guided the mercenary's hand to his waist, locking his other hand with his and assuming the classic slow waltz position.

"You're letting me lead?" Snake asked, slightly surprised.

Luigi nodded. "It'll help when you're dancing with someone else." The plumber sounded a little downhearted; the mercenary noticed, and although he didn't actually say anything, he held Luigi tighter against his chest.

"How does it start?"

"Well, you're in the lead... let me see..." Luigi drifted into silence as he worked out the moves. "... take a large step forwards with your left foot." Snake followed this direction. "then take a small step forwards with your right foot. Make your right heel and left toes parallel."

"Okay..."

"Bring your left foot to your right foot, and do the same thing vice-versa."

Snake tried this out himself, getting a few steps muddled in the process, but the younger brother gently guided him around the balcony, keeping count and murmuring instructions whenever he felt that the other was stepping out of rhythm. He himself followed along until Snake became more accustomed to the moves, and then he let the mercenary lead. This time, he relaxed in the other's arms and closed his eyes, never once stepping out of beat or attempting to take over. The music in the hall downstairs helped them to time their steps accurately.

The younger Mario brother wasn't the only one who was comfortable. Snake had said next to nothing since Luigi had taught him to waltz; it was partly so that he could keep up with his rhythm and make sure that his steps were accurate, but as time passed by, he found that he was paying more attention to the plumber than his steps. He let the younger Mario brother's head rest against his chest and quietly carried on, his eyes momentarily softened by either fond memories of the past weeks or endearment.

Then the music ended, and so did the dance. They came to a stop, and broke apart, silently gazing down at the scenary below.

* * *

"Snake?"

"Hmmm?"

"We... can still write letters to each other, right?" Luigi whispered, nuzzling into the mercenary's arms. "Master Hand's introducing portals between worlds this time... so we can step into a portal from our world, come out in the hotel, and just go through another portal that we want. And there's the postal service too."

"Of course." The mercenary murmured his reply, stroking the other's hair gently between his fingers. "I'd hate to lose correspondence with you... write to me. I'll write back. And - although we won't be able to do it often - we'll be able to visit each other too."

"I'd love that." Luigi said softly, looking deeply into Snake's eyes. "Come to my house sometime... I live apart from Mario, and it's just a small cottage, but it's warm and comfy."

"Don't you live in the mansion?"

"Can't. Too old and dusty." The younger Mario grinned sheepishly. "It's a bit too much work to do on my own." Snake nodded; this was a fair point to make. The mansion, although extremely beautiful and filled with priceless antiques, was currently not suitable for living due to too much dust and grime. Neither he nor Snake minded the ghosts, but that would be another matter to consider nevertheless.

"Well, I could help you clean the place up a little."

Luigi thought about this, and grinned. "That would be grand. But I'd have a hard time convincing the ghosts to stay too. They like the dust and dirt."

This was a true statement, and Snake had to agree that the plumber had an excellent point. As lovely the mansion was, it wouldn't be the same without the various ghosts that made the place completely unique. He voiced this agreement, and then fell silent, just enjoying the comfortable atmosphere. From downstairs, they could hear the musicians settling down and chatting as they took their much-needed break; they could hear the chattering of the other Smashers, whose voices were all recognizable now; and outside, in the gardens, lovers and friends were frolicking around, being silly and enjoying company. Meta Knight and Jigglypuff were talking and pointing up at the full Moon whilst sitting by a tree - Snake and Luigi could see them outside - Yoshi was playing hide-and-seek with Kirby, and for some reason, Captain Falcon and Captain Olimar had also joined in.

"No fair, Douglas Jay Falcon!" Olimar hollered as the tall racer tried to grab him; but the little captain was laughing his head off at the same time, and he neatly sidestepped before Falcon could get near him. His voice was slurred - being Hocotatian, and inevitably of smaller size than average humans, only half a glass of wine was enough to render him drunk. It was fortunate that Hocotatians never got hangovers in the morning, or else Olimar would have been completely helpless the following day. "You have longer legs... _hic_... than I do!"

"Douglas Jay?" Luigi said out loud, making the mercenary turn to him. "So that's Falcon's real name? Kind of suits him, really. A unique name for a unique personality." The plumber smiled and leaned on the railings. "... I'm really going to miss this place. All the people... all the friends I made... this was the best Smash Brothers tournament I've ever attended. I'll be missing you, Snake. I'll miss Olimar... Meta and Jigglypuff... Falcon and his amazing real name... heck, I'll even miss Ganondorf, despite him being so antisocial through the whole tournament..."

The soldier was completely silent throughout Luigi's speech. There was a secret that he had been keeping from everyone; it honestly wasn't such a big deal, but he simply didn't want other people knowing, and that had been that. However, Captain Falcon's name being (unanimously) revealed had reminded him. He trusted Luigi completely, so perhaps he could say it this time around.

"Luigi..."

"Yes?"

"My name." The mercenary hesitated for a while, not quite ready to let his secret free. "... my _real_ name, Luigi... it's David."

"David." Luigi repeated, getting used to the name. He pronounced it '_Dah-veed'_, letting the syllables roll off his tongue. It felt strange; during the months that he had known Snake, he had never wondered what the mercenary was really called. Never even once. So hearing him having such an ordinary name was a surprise. "...that's a nice name."

The soldier shuffled uncomfortably on his feet. "It's not. It's such a _plain_ name. I can't say I hate it, but it's-"

"That's where you're not quite right there." Luigi said gently. "David... he was a great king. He was strong, faithful and noble," He laughed softly, the sound carried away by the breeze that rushed past them. "just like you."

Snake stood there, feeling startled. This wasn't the reaction that he'd expected - sure, he hadn't thought that Luigi would laugh at his real name, but this kind of calm acceptance wasn't something he'd thought about either.

"Well... I..."

"If you go to Italy, there's a statue of King David, you know that?" Snake nodded; it was a masterpiece of a sculpture by Michelangelo, and few people he knew had never heard of it before. "I've never been there... and I probably never will be able to go... but I know that it's a beautiful sculpture. It sums up '_David_', perfectly."

Snake looked at him for a while before he suddenly smirked. "What, a naked man holding a sling?"

"Snake, for crying out loud," Luigi groaned, smacking his face on his palm. "I was being serious!"

The mercenary smirked evilly at those words; however, his face then softened slightly and he wrapped one arm around the other's shoulders, pulling him closer.

"Thanks," he said in a barely audible voice, but Luigi heard - he glanced up, and then moved closer to the soldier, gazing once more down at the gardens. Meta Knight and Jigglypuff were still underneath the tree, with the former pointing out constellations in the star-studded sky, and the game of hide-and-seek was still ongoing. What was more, for some unexplained reason Link and Pit had joined in the game.

Luigi sighed heavily. "I wish we didn't have to leave. I hate goodbyes."

"I know," Snake answered, his grasp on Luigi tightening slightly. "I know..."


	37. 37: Dance With Me, Part Two

**Author's Note:** Here I am again, for the second-to-last time in the storyline of 'Within the Cardboard Box'. I know everyone's busy with Christmas coming, and exams... but if you enjoyed, please drop a line or two. I really would appreciate that. This was such a sad chapter to write for me, although it doesn't contain very depressive themes. It's so long that it actually causes some lag when I load it up in WordPad. x.x 9000-something words for a chapter. Jesus, I'm a madwoman. This is long, very long. Be sure to have plenty of time.

The Smashers now part ways. So does Snake and Luigi. That's the way life goes on. Expect a few little twists on the whole ending, of course, that I do throw in by the handful in nearly every story of mine. I don't see it ending in November, or even December, though. So much crap to go through, and exams. x.x Some overly fluffy material ahead, but sadly, they will be apart anyhows. So for the nine out of thirteen people who voted '_they should like, totally get together' _in my poll... sorry. Not happening. There's a scene, though, when they're parting that you might hate/like. Don't hurt me (whimpers).

I wrote this chapter listening to mostly 'Saying Goodbye' from that Sesame Street movie. That song could make me feel sorry for a bunch of puppets - why not game characters?

Enjoy, my dear readers. Epilogue will come soon, and then 'Within the Cardboard Box' will officially end. (For those of you kind of bored with fluffy WtCB and into more morbid stuff, may I interest you in another ficcie of mine, 'August Summer'?)

* * *

The morning of the fated day brightened; some Smashers were sluggish upon waking, having drunk too much the previous night, but most were up and early. After a quick breakfast in the bar (the staff were all tearful and some even messed up their orders), they all went back to their suites to pack up their last possessions. Snake sat on his bed, folded up his tight bodysuit and tucked it inside his bag - he couldn't well go around wearing _that_ in public when he got back. He glanced around his room with a sad smile - this had been his home for seven months, the place where he'd truly enjoyed life away from the battlefield. He would miss it very much. The mercenary looked at his hands, which had conjured so many cardboard boxes out of thin air during the entire tournament; he would use that ability one last time before he lost it for good. He gently pulled out a cardboard box out of nowhere (this one was a little smaller than the others), glanced at it fondly and began to fill it with a few personal possessions, including his trusty Codec and that gift box that Luigi had given him so many weeks ago. It was empty now, but he kept it as a personal memoir. When he was done packing, he tightened his green bandanna around his forehead, slung his bag around his shoulder, picked up the box and walked smartly out of the suite.

"Good morning, Smashers." Snake paused in the act of locking the door, as Master Hand began an announcement. "You will soon be leaving for your own worlds. There are two methods of transport available; a direct portal will take you back to your own world, and is available for all Smashers. But if you have a vehicle, such as a plane, spaceship, jet and such, it is recommended to make use of them. Further details will be given soon. Please assemble at the lounge within half an hour. Take care to check your rooms for any personal belongings, and lock the doors when you're heading to the lounge. Thank you."

The mercenary smiled, albeit rather sadly. He knew that only he and Luigi did not possess a vehicle, or a plane of some sort; it looked as if that they would be saying a mass goodbye, as all of their other friends left before them. He swiped his keycard on the slot on the door, pocketed the card, and began to make his way to the lounge when a sudden thought stalled him.

What about Mario and Luigi? The latter would be fine; he would be able to meet him at the lounge, at least, and wait to go home. But Mario... shouldn't he at least make peace with him before departing this place for good?

Before he really knew what he was doing, he was making his way to the Mario brothers' suite, still holding the cardboard box. Even the mercenary himself didn't quite know why he was doing so, because he admittedly hadn't much to do with Mario anymore; but when he got there, he found that the red-clad plumber had already left. The suite door was open, the main living area cleaned out and swept; and there was no sign of life at all. Snake tilted his head to the side, wondering why Mario would leave without locking his suite - well, there was one way to find out. He cleared his throat to alert anyone of his presence, pushed open the door and went inside.

"Hello?" Snake called out, looking around all the rooms. "Anyone there?"

There was no answer given; but when Snake walked further into the suite, he found that all doors except for one was shut. The one door that was ajar was the one leading to Luigi's bedroom; he carefully crept across the floor to look inside. His stealth skills had not faded in the slightest during his stay here, and he was grateful for that.

Luigi was sitting on the bed, clutching a bag to his chest tightly and staring blankly into the air.

"Luigi?" Snake asked softly as he pushed open the door and went inside. The younger Mario brother looked up blankly, and for a while he didn't seem to actually recognize his friend; but then his expression softened, and he smiled in a rather sorrowful way.

"Hi, Snake." Luigi said quietly. He gestured to the cardboard box that the mercenary was holding. "Is that all you're taking?"

Snake nodded, putting down his cardboard box. "I can't exactly walk around in my world holding a Nikita, an RPG-7 on my back and bundles of C4 strapped to my belt. I sent most of my luggage ahead of me." Luigi nodded, but bit his lip and looked downwards, nervously brushing his hand over the bedsheets. The mercenary sat down quietly next to him.

"You'll be missing this place, I suppose?" the green-clad plumber nodded. "I know how you feel. I'll wake up in the mornings not knowing why I'm not sleeping in my cardboard box and why the coffee machine is absent. And then... I'll realize that I'm back home... but I'll know that I won't be back in this hotel. The friends I made here won't be near me anymore."

"I'll miss you an awful lot." Luigi replied, downhearted. "We spent so much time together..."

Snake nodded, but knew that he had to get Luigi back to the lounge as quickly as possible. If they were stalled - and he knew that Luigi would leave a lot earlier than he would - the green-clad plumber could miss his portal back home and could be stuck alone in the place. Saying nothing, he got up and brought his cardboard box to the bed; when the younger Mario brother looked over, the soldier simply picked him up and dropped him neatly inside the box, heaving it up in his arms and walking over to the door (staggering a little). The box was smaller than the ones they were used to meeting and having fun in, but it still fitted Luigi in somehow.

Luigi yelped. "Snake! I... I can get out by myself..."

"Come on. Back to the lounge." Snake replied gruffly, trying to disguise his own rather saddened feelings, but lowered himself down slightly to let the younger Mario brother lock the door of the suite. Luigi's hand trembled as he swiped the keycard on the slot on the door for what would be the very last time, but he managed to do it without dropping the keycard or showing any other sign of weak-mindedness. When he was done, he withdrew his arm and let the mercenary carry him in the cardboard box, leaning over the box slightly to place his head on Snake's shoulder. He knew that he really shouldn't act attached to him, not when they were close to saying goodbye, but he couldn't help it. Right now he wanted to hang on to all his friends and cry.

But he didn't.

When they arrived in front of the lounge doors, Snake gently let Luigi down from the box, closed it and continued on into the large room. All the other Smashers were there, exchanging addresses and saying their goodbyes; some were shaking each other's hands, some were hugging, some were kissing - and a notable number of them were crying. Snake knew that he and Luigi were the only ones to depart by portal - Captain Falcon was going home in his Falcon Flyer alongside Captain Olimar (who was taking that rickety spaceship), and Meta Knight was taking the Halberd with King Dedede and Kirby, offering Jigglypuff a ride along the way. That meant that four of their best friends would be departing at the same time, while he and Luigi simply had to wait around in this place to go home. It also meant that the four would be leaving first, so farewells were best said now.

"Any last-minute packages?" the Stafy at the reception desk asked as Snake came up to her with the box.

"Yes, please." Stafy handed him a roll of packing tape, and the mercenary quickly sealed the flaps of the box with it; his address was then confirmed on the computer. "Thank you very much."

"You're welcome." she carefully wrote down the address on the box and placed it on the floor with a dozen other boxes and packages. "It'll arrive within two days."

"Any chances of it arriving faster?"

The Stafy laughed. "Sorry, no go. Nice try, though. Have a nice voyage."

Snake nodded, a small grin on his face, and gave the Stafy a wave as he walked back to his friends. They were all sitting in one corner of the lounge, looking nervous; Olimar was repeatedly patting one of his Pikmin's head (the creature didn't seem to mind, fortunately), Meta Knight and Jigglypuff were silent, and even Captain Falcon was looking around, biting his lip and fidgeting. He sat up a little straighter as Snake and Luigi headed towards them.

"Hey," he said softly, "you two alright?"

They nodded - neither of them could think of anything much to say. They sat down with their friends, feeling nervous and jumpy - Luigi was repeatedly brushing back his hair, looking down at the carpet-lined floor, and the mercenary kept on fiddling with the end of his bandanna. Nobody said anything for a while.

Since when had they been so awkward? Shouldn't they be saying their goodbyes now? Or was the tension too thick?

"We thank you for waiting," Master Hand's voice boomed from the loudspeakers, feeling like a godsend to the six Smashers. "The tournament has officially ended, and it's now time for you to depart. Portals will be ready in half an hour. Smashers with vehicles or any other means of getting to their worlds will be leaving first - your means of transport will be ready outside the hotel, and you will be leaving the hotel shortly. Any Smashers hitching a ride will also leave at the same time." Jigglypuff giggled rather tearfully at this. "Please leave your keycards at the reception. We thank you for your participation in the tournament."

Captain Falcon stood up. "Well, I suppose we'd better all say our proper goodbyes," he said, with no obvious change in his expression, but his voice was trembling very slightly. "Come on... will you two come out with us?" Snake and Luigi nodded and got to their feet, heading outside with the other Smashers. Jigglypuff was wiping away tears behind them, Meta Knight was consoling her quietly, while Olimar's head was bent. Just about everyone in the lobby followed the people who would depart by vehicle.

The outside of the hotel was a strange sight; two Arwings, a Wolfen, the Falcon Flyer, and Olimar's spaceship was parked out on their respective places, while the Halberd was already mounted on a tall platform. As it had been an entire stage on its own, it needed some other commissioning and some repairs done before Meta Knight could fly it back to Dream Land again. Toon Link had decided not to take his ship back to his world, as it would require too much sailing; he was trailing behind the others, looking uncharacteristically depressed.

Master Hand was waiting outside. "There you are," he said as the Smashers drew close. "your vehicles are now ready. You have fifteen minutes to say goodbye and leave the hotel - but until then-" he 'walked' over to the nine Smashers who stood slightly apart from the others, and shook their hands heartily with his index and thumb. "I thank you very much for your participation in the tournament." Master Hand's voice was tinged with rare affection, and everybody had to smile; he then withdrew back into the hotel, while the others closed in on the nine people who were departing.

"Here's my address..." Captain Falcon was distributing a few cards amongst his closest friends, and he handed one each to Snake and Luigi. "You guys take care, all right? Write to me... I'll write back... and if I'm not racing, I'm going to try to use the portals in the hotel to come over for a visit."

"That would be lovely," Luigi said, and then he walked forwards to give the taller man a hug. Falcon hugged back tightly, looking as if he was trying not to cry (his eyes were obscured but his lips were tightly pressed together), and gently patted the green-clad plumber's shoulders. Snake stood near by, watching Olimar, Meta Knight and Jigglypuff say their goodbyes to the others.

When Luigi was done with the hug, the others came over. For a long while they stood there in silence, being too saddened to say anything else - but then Jigglypuff began to sob audibly, and then the awkwardness fell apart. Everyone was suddenly hugging each other; they were exchanging addresses and holding onto others in one last attempt to be close to them. Shaking hands appeared not to be enough - and honestly, who could blame them? Those who were now leaving, after all, had been part of the Smash community for months.

"Smashers not departing by vehicle, please stand back... the others will leave right now, one after the other..." came the announcement. The depearting Smashers followed this directive; Meta Knight led King Dedede, Kirby and Jigglypuff to the Halberd, Fox and Falco boarded their Arwings, and Wolf did the same. The Falcon Flyer and the Halberd would take off simultaneously, judging by the way they were placed. But Captain Falcon didn't move; he stood still on his place, right opposite Snake, his head bent slightly.

"Falcon?" Olimar called, but then he was silenced by what the racer did next.

Slowly, deliberately, Captain Falcon took off his helmet and tucked it under his arm, revealing his face in public for the first time. A collective gasp went around the crowd, along with a few murmurs, except for the racer's closest friends; he didn't seem to take notice, and faced Snake and the others, gazing at them with firm, bright blue eyes.

He then raised his right arm and stood upright, saluting every Smasher in the place.

This image was such a powerful one, from an unexpected person, that everyone was left feeling stunned. Luigi stared at Falcon, feeling rather overwhelmed; only Snake had the presence of mind to return the salute. Being a soldier, it was only expected of him to return the gesture.

"Have a safe journey. And don't you get yourself in trouble, all right?" he murmured in a low voice to the racer. Captain Falcon nodded; he dropped his salute, and grinned confidently at them all as he jumped up the Falcon Flyer.

"Goodbye, everybody!" Falcon called out as he turned on the engines. "I had a really good time with you all!"

From the Smashers there came the sounds of cheering and shouted replies to the taller captain's remarks. But the racer merely gave them his trademark smile, and without another word started up the Falcon Flyer - the Halberd followed closely behind as they glided smoothly across the ground, and lifted off into the air. Soon the others rose up to formation, leaving long trails of cloud behind them as they flew across the sky. The two Arwings and the Falcon Flyer flew once around the entire hotel, circling the grounds that had hosted them for so long, and when Snake and Luigi looked up they could see that Captain Falcon was giving them another quick salute and a wave. They responded by raising their arms and waving, mouthing a goodbye; Falcon seemed to be satisfied, and then he began flying back to his world, his engines on full gear.

The two watched until the Falcon Flyer and the Halberd were nothing more than two specks in the sky.

* * *

"Portals are now ready," Master Hand spoke from the loudspeakers yet again. "Smashers will now leave the hotel individually, due to portal capacity limits. If there are a group of Smashers from the same world, they will leave shortly after each other. It will take roughly ten minutes to prepare a single portal for a Smasher, and there are four of them in different rooms. When it is your turn to depart, your name and room number will be called out. Please proceed to the correct room, please." the Hand paused for a moment. "First up... Mr. Game and Watch in room C5, Pit in room C6, Samus in C7, and R.O.B. in C8. I repeat, Mr. Game and Watch in room C5, Pit in room C6, Samus in C7, and R.O.B. in C8... please proceed to said rooms right now. Friends may accompany them as far as inside the rooms themselves, but must stand seven feet away from the portals. This distance is marked off in all rooms with white tape, so take note, please."

Said Smashers immediately stood up, amongst final cheers and cries; everyone shouted and waved them goodbye, and half the room followed the four Smashers to the portal rooms. Snake and Luigi had remained in their seats, staring after the crowd rather blandly. The green-clad plumber sighed and slumped down on his seat, looking depressed.

"So that's how it goes, huh?" he said sadly, while taking one of Snake's hands in his own.

"Looks like it." Snake replied, but then sat up straight as he saw a familiar male figure in the distance. The man was clutching a large medical bag in one hand, holding a large cage with a handle in the other, and was wearing a smart black coat and a head-mirror...

"Dr. Mario!" the mercenary called out, standing up from his seat. The Doctor looked around and saw Snake and Luigi, before his face broke into a wide smile; he walked over to them, his steps steady and graceful. "you're leaving the hotel too?"

"Indeed I am," the Doctor replied calmly. "I shall be leaving after you're all gone, though. Need to watch out in case something goes wrong - not that I'm saying it will, of course," he added. Luigi nodded, accepting this explanation as perfectly logical. His eyes wandered down to the Doctor's bad leg, noticing the lack of the walking-stick.

Dr. Mario noted his gaze, and smiled again at the younger Mario brother. "I followed your advice and took those new megavitamins for today. They don't heal... but they make it so that this leg can support my weight without pain for a few hours. It's better than nothing, I suppose."

Luigi breathed a sigh of relief. "I'd say it's certainly done you good, Doctor. I'm glad to see you're feeling better. Mind you don't trip, though, your pet viruses won't like that..."

The Doctor laughed. "You're a cheeky young'un, you are! I'll be fine. But talking of pets... have either of you seen Crazy Hand?"

"No, why?"

"He must be still asleep, then," Dr. Mario said. "shame... he'd have brought those kittens to you... let you say goodbye to them..."

At the mention of the kittens, Luigi seemed to deflate slightly. "I know," he mumbled dejectedly, shuffling his feet. "I'd have loved to have them. But I suppose I'm asking way too much... they're not ours after all..."

"Would you really be willing to take care of them?" Dr. Mario asked, his voice calm and gentle, but his eyes were inquisitive. The mercenary didn't miss this slight change in expression. "can you provide a safe place for them to stay? Cats are beautiful to look at, but they do require a great deal of commitment. You need to think of their food, spend time with them, and groom them often..."

"I still would," Luigi answered, looking rather oddly at Dr. Mario. "they're Scottish Folds, aren't they? They're not too much trouble to look after. And I've got lots of space in my cottage."

Snake took a little more time to answer, being completely quiet throughout the younger Mario brother's speech, but he did provide a reply. "I... well, I live in an apartment. It's all by myself, though. Otacon lives next door, but I have enough space to accommodate a cat. It'll keep me company and I'll be able to take good care of it. But why do you ask, Doctor? You know it won't happen... Crazy Hand being... well, Crazy Hand, he's not too likely to let them go."

The Doctor chuckled. "Oh, I wouldn't count on insanity alone to judge what either of the Hands are thinking. Who knows? Maybe it could happen." as he said this, the cage rattled slightly and a sound of soft chirping came from it. "that'll be the viruses. The poor things, travelling stirs them up so much... I'd best be going now. I need to be on standby until everyone leaves."

"I hope to see you again, Doctor." Snake held out his hand, and the older man shook it firmly; he did the same with Luigi, but then his expression turned mock-stern.

"I still expect to see you in my surgery in two weeks, Luigi, for your check-up. Don't you miss another appointment!"

Luigi laughed merrily, tipping his hat to Dr. Mario. "I won't, Doctor. I'll see you soon."

The older man said nothing, but he tipped his head-mirror in response, winking at the two in a mischievous manner. He then walked into a side room and closed the door, the viruses still chirping inside the handheld cage, as quiet, noble and serene as ever.

"Such a nice man." Snake said.

"I wonder if we'll have to lug that kind of cage all the time if we have pets," Luigi wondered out aloud as they sat back down. "we move around so much, me and Mario."

* * *

"Next up... the Ice Climbers in room C5, Pikachu in room C6, the Pokemon Trainer in C7, and Mario in C8. As Mario is part of a group of Smashers, the rest will leave afterwards in the same room, in the following order: Princess Peach, Bowser, and Luigi. Wario will leave separately afterwards. Please take note."

Luigi smiled sadly as he stood up. He'd known that he would be last; after all, he was second best, and had never been in a more important position than any of the others in his group. But somehow, he hardly minded - it simply meant more time with Snake, although now even that time was short. Snake stood up next to him.

"That's that, I suppose." Luigi murmured. "I've got to say goodbye to my brother. I know I'll be meeting him soon... it's just that we live apart from each other..."

"I'm coming too." Snake announced, much to the younger Mario brother's surprise. "I've got something to take care of with him. And don't you worry," he added upon looking at Luigi's expression. "I'm not going to beat him up or fight him."

"W-well... I could wait outside after saying goodbye to Mario... but that's just if you _want_ me to-" Luigi stammered, following along as the mercenary began walking.

Snake smiled quietly at him. "If you won't mind," was all that he said.

The two remained silent as they followed the crowd to the portal rooms. The green-clad plumber pushed open the door to C8, finding that he, Snake, Princess Peach and Mario were the only people actually in the room. Mario had just said his (temporary) goodbye to Peach, as they would be meeting up again in less than an hour; he smiled softly at his brother, but when he looked at Snake, his expression turned rather questioning. But there was no more hatred nor anger visible, and Luigi relaxed slightly.

"Well, it's the end, then." Mario spoke, addressing his younger brother first.

"That's the way it was for the last two tournaments." Luigi replied. "Are you going to go back and rest straightaway, Mario?"

The red-clad plumber nodded. "I'm tired. I'd like to go back and sleep in my own bed. You'll be directed to the cottage, I suppose?"

"Uh-huh. I'd like to rest too. Anyway, I can't keep you waiting... I'll see you soon, Bro." Luigi murmured, hugged his brother tightly and left, giving Snake a rather uneasy glance.

Snake said nothing until Luigi had left the room; after the door clicked, he raised his head and looked at Mario, no resentment in his expression. Mario looked back at him, and his expression was also surprisingly neutral; they stared at each other for a few seconds before Snake finally spoke.

"You... are all right with it, then?" the mercenary said quietly. "Me... Luigi... being friends?"

"If Luigi's happy with it, I am." Mario answered equally quietly.

"Not Luigi," Snake stated. "you."

"If Luigi's happy with it, I am." the red-clad plumber repeated. Snake looked at him for a long while, before he smiled in a rather bittersweet manner. Mario returned the smile, before he turned away and began to walk towards the portal.

Snake watched him go. "See you around." he quietly said.

"And you too," the red-clad plumber replied. "... be good to Luigi, all right? I don't want him to get hurt."

"No worries about that." Snake answered. Mario nodded, walked ahead and then stepped through the portal; the room was enveloped in a brilliant flash of light, and he was gone.

* * *

Luigi was waiting for him outside, tapping his foot nervously - when the mercenary emerged from the room, looking mildly pleased, he jumped up. "Snake!"

"It's all been taken care of," the soldier said quietly. "and we didn't fight either. He was fine with it."

"Glad to hear that," Luigi seemed truly relieved to hear this. He took the mercenary's hand and walked down the hallway, feeling lighter and as if a weight had been lifted off his mind. "so is it alright between you and him now, then?"

Snake nodded. "We aren't enemies any more. That's for sure. It's good that we agreed not to snap at each other's throats any more..." he drifted off as they entered the lounge, only to find that their seats were ruffled and half overturned. "wait, what the hell-"

A scream sounded from the far side of the lounge, and then Crazy Hand (who had been frantically raking in one of the plant pots) dashed over to them.

"Oh... God," he gasped, ignoring the odd stares from the Smashers. "My bro didn't tell me you were leaving right now, and you two weren't here when I came over. To think I might have missed you two! No, that wouldn't do at all."

"Hey, it's all right," Luigi said, patting the back of the Hand and looking at him rather worriedly. "glad you made it in the end."

Crazy Hand drew in his breath and straightened up. His running and frantic search for the two Smashers had appeared to knock most of the insanity out of him. "Right. To business. I believe you told Giuseppe that you would have liked to take care of the kittens?"

"... Giuseppe?" Snake questioned. "I believe you're talking about Dr. Mario?"

"The one and only."

"We did," Luigi answered, looking confused. "but... why? Surely you _don't_ mean-"

The giant Hand wriggled his fingers with mirth. "Sure I mean it! You've taken such good care of those critters, and you were great sports too. We owe you quite a lot. Goodness knows what it would have been like, looking after four hyperactive kittens with an antisocial mother at the side. You two'll make good kitten owners. Not to mention that they'll miss you terribly when you go without them - well, of course, if you can't actually afford to keep one, or haven't any space..." he gingerly produced two cages as he spoke, each with their respective kittens inside; they were both asleep. The two gasped; they hadn't thought that Dr. Mario had been serious when he'd questioned them about the kittens.

"Oh... my God..." Luigi finally spoke, staring up at the cages. "... I'd love to keep the tabby kitten... but... are you really sure, Crazy Hand? Are you sure you won't mind? I know how to take care of cats in general, and I have enough room for her - my cottage's kind of big for just one person anyway - but-"

Crazy Hand waved him off. "Don't you mind. We still have two kittens and their mother with us. We'd have had to give a couple of kittens away even if you'd left without them."

"Then... can we?"

The giant Hand lowered the cage with the ginger kitten down to the green-clad plumber, who took it in eager hands and thanked the former most sincerely. He kept looking into the cage in wonder, shaking his head as if he couldn't quite believe it. "What about you, Snake?"

The mercenary said nothing for a while, gazing at the grey kitten that lay inside the cage. But then, a slow smile spread across his face, and he nodded firmly.

"I'd love to have him," he said softly as he received the cage with the kitten inside. He didn't say very much, but his facial expression and careful manner of handling the cage showed his pleasure more than his words. "how can we ever thank you?"

"Oh, _stop_ it!" Had Crazy Hand had a Crazy Face, he would have rolled his eyes and sighed; but he merely wriggled his fingers again. "you two're embarrassing me! Just take good care of the kits, okay? That's the best way to say thanks to us. I hope to see you around."

With that, he quickly scuttled away on his fingers, soon disappearing from view. As crazy as he was, he still had manners and didn't really like seeing people keep on thanking him; so he quickly removed himself from the lounge, secretly feeling rather pleased inside. He left the two Smashers behind him, both feeling oddly euphoric and confused; they sat down on their seats, looking into their cages.

"I can't believe it," Luigi said breathlessly. "they're ours. Oh God, I just can't believe it."

Snake chuckled, peering closely into his kitten's cage. The kitten lay there, in a lazy catnap, its paws folded up daintily beneath its body. "It was good that we talked to the Doctor, then. I'll have some company when I go back."

"Do you really live all by yourself, then?"

"Living with other people in the same contained space never really interested me that much. Made me feel uncomfortable. Otacon lives next door, so I'm not too lonely. It's all right - except when he has his Japanese music on full volume - but now a cat is a slightly different matter, right?" the soldier replied idly, placing the cage on his lap and leaning back. "I wonder what he'll be like when he grows up. All gauche and shy, I bet."

"What do you think my kitten would be like when she grows up?"

"Energetic? Playful, definitely." Snake answered. "why do you ask? You know what she's like."

Luigi nodded, but he was still staring at his sleeping kitten, not quite daring to reach inside and touch her fur. "Do you think she'll grow up to be a beautiful cat, Sna-" he stopped mid-question, and then suddenly fell silent, looking gloomily down at his lap. He no longer even looked at his kitten.

The mercenary didn't fail to notice this sudden lapse in the other's mood, and sat up. "What's wrong?"

Luigi sighed. "I really should call you Dave, shouldn't I? I'm the only one in the tournament you told me, and I..."

"I prefer 'Snake' in public," the mercenary answered, twirling the end of his bandanna around his finger. "but between us... 'Dave', why not?"

"You want to know why I keep on calling you Snake?"

"Why?"

The green-clad plumber sighed again, sniffling lightly. "Because it's a codename. Not a real name like 'Dave' is for yours. It allows you to remain anonymous to a degree. Things with names, they go away, you know that. I've seen so many people over the years whilst on adventures with Mario, and they never stay for long. Like Rosalina and my Luma. And everyone else. I know eventually Mario... Princess Peach and Bowser... they're all going to leave me behind. Everything with names of their own, they always go away," he was half crying at this point. Snake watched, feeling alarmed. "but I'm different, because the Chaos Heart is inside me and I have no idea what I'm meant to be. Mr. L or Luigi. Even though he hasn't bothered me for a couple of months, I still know he's there," he cried. "and he won't ever go away because he doesn't have a proper name to call his own. I tell you, Snake, if a person only has the bad things in life that stick by them, they go crazy. A person sees too many good people being taken away from them and they get sick."

"... and now that you're _Dave_ and not Snake... we have to say goodbye. It's not fair. Why does everyone have to leave me?"

Snake opened his mouth to reply, but his words were immediately drowned out by the loudspeakers.

"Next up... Lucario in room C5, Lucas in C6, Diddy Kong in C7 and Luigi in C8... Please come to the rooms stated..."

"Oh God, talk of the devil," Luigi cried. "here it is. I have to leave now!" he wasn't crying, but certainly looked tearful and afraid. "Snake, please come with me. I'm not going by myself."

The mercenary nodded firmly, and helped the other man to his feet. The green-clad plumber picked up the cage with his sleeping ginger kitten, slung his bag over his back and stood awkwardly, not quite wanting to budge. "Come on."

They remained completely silent throughout the entire journey, tense and uncomfortable even when they entered room C8. The Hammer Bro maintaining the portals welcomed them, told Luigi that he would have to wait a little while and started work on the portal. Luigi only gave short nods and replies, feeling too shy to say anything, and he almost certainly couldn't talk to Snake, not after his outburst. Why did he have to say such things right before farewell? Luigi cursed himself for his tactlessness; he glanced over at the mercenary, who seemed noticeably nervous. He was flexing his fingers and biting his lip, not looking at the green-clad plumber.

The silence lasted a few more minutes.

"Snake, I'm sorry," Luigi finally whispered. "I... I didn't mean to say all that. I was just being silly, I wasn't thinking-"

"Luigi, look at me."

The mercenary's voice betrayed nothing, but he turned around and grasped the younger Mario brother's shoulders, his grip firm yet gentle; Luigi relaxed in the gentle grip, knowing that his friend would never hurt him. Surprising - this man was a mercenary who'd had only too much experience in such matters, yet he'd never actually hurt him.

"I want you to know this," Snake said quietly. "it doesn't matter whether I stay Snake or David. We're not parting for ever, Luigi - I'll always be here for you. I won't fade away. I'll stay with you in spirit," he coughed slightly as he spoke those rather awkward ('_mushy'_, as he might have called it) words. "just not physically. I'll write to you. Don't you think that we're saying goodbye for ever."

"Promise?"

"I do," the mercenary said firmly, his grasp tight on Luigi's hand, pressing down with the sureness of his words. "and you have my address. If there are other vegetation with _eyes_ in your world... erm... just don't... you know, send them... they kind of scare me."

Luigi managed a grin at this. "I won't. Come visit me every once in a while?"

"I will." Snake promised; Luigi held out his little finger to confirm this, and the mercenary took it this time without a hesitation, entwining his little finger around the green-clad plumber's. They both laughed softly at the memory of themselves promising like this for the very first time - had it been really that long since then? "I will, Luigi."

The younger Mario brother nodded, moving closer to the mercenary and embracing him in gratitude.

"_Ti amo_, Dave." Luigi murmured, easing himself into Snake's arms once more and laying his head on his shoulder. The mercenary smiled - a true, grateful smile - and leaned forwards to receive more physical contact. When the younger Mario brother nuzzled against his shoulder, he bent down and pressed his lips gently to the other's forehead in a soft, sincere kiss of farewell.

"Love you too, Luigi."

The younger Mario brother chuckled quietly, giving the other man one last tight squeeze before reluctantly breaking the embrace. But he was still holding onto the mercenary's hand. They stared at each other for a while - and then Snake realized just how much Luigi had changed during the last few months. When he'd first met the green-clad plumber, he had been a pale-skinned, rather depressed and nervous man who had next to no confidence whatsoever; yet now, the man looked optimistic and truly alive, with lightly tanned skin and bright blue eyes. Luigi no longer looked timid as he had before. He had entered the tournament as the second-best Mario brother, as 'Mr. Lean and Green', as that Hammer Bro said so many months ago - and now he was leaving as _Luigi_. Nobody else.

"Time's nearly up, guys," the Hammer Bro called from the back, who looked at the clock on the wall as he fiddled with some machinery. "say your goodbyes now, I'd say."

"I've got to leave, I suppose. I can't keep you here," Luigi said apologetically as he took a step foward; but still his grasp didn't slacken, and they looked at each other again. Eventually, the mercenary nodded wordlessly, and Luigi began walking towards the portal, only very reluctantly letting go of Snake's hand. The younger Mario brother was slipping away from him, after half a year - the mercenary felt rather panicked at this realization, and called to the other.

"Luigi."

"Hmm?" the green-clad plumber looked around, the bright light from the portal illuminating the side of his face. Snake opened his mouth; but then closed it again, as he found that he couldn't say anything. Sure, he could have said so many things, he could have even forcefully dragged Luigi from the portal - but he didn't. Instead, he found himself saying things that the other knew already-

"Take care... write to me..."

"I will," Luigi replied gently. "and you do the same for me, too."

The mercenary nodded. "... and... just be careful, all right? Be brave..."

The green-clad plumber turned around fully this time, and did something that Snake hadn't expected.

He smiled.

Yet it was not the soft, shy smile that the soldier was used to seeing. This one was genuine and vibrant, an expression that had never appeared on Luigi's face before; it was such a beautiful smile that Snake quite forgot to say anything. He just stared, wondering to himself when Luigi had changed like this. That smile alone spoke more than words.

But then Luigi had to turn back.

"Enter the portal within ten seconds, please..." the Hammer Bro instructed. The green-clad plumber sighed, and looked at Snake again.

"I'll miss you, Dave."

"I'll miss you too, Luigi."

There was silence for a further two seconds, and then the younger man whispered a sorrowful farewell.

"Bye."

Luigi then walked quickly towards the portal, holding onto his possessions tightly, and stepped inside. The room was instantly enveloped in a blinding, white light - Snake winced and had to shield his eyes - and when the flash of light faded away, the younger Mario brother had disappeared.

It was as if he had never existed.

* * *

Luigi was gone.

Snake didn't know how he managed to get himself back to the lounge. He sat there and stared blankly into space - there were no more Smashers for him to see off and say goodbye. All the friends that he had made here were either on their way back, or already in their worlds now. And as he was from a completely different world than the usual ones that Master Hand usually considered - along with Sonic - he would be the one leaving right at the end.

The mercenary looked next to him. The cage with the grey kitten was there - the creature inside seemed to be still asleep. Figuring that it wouldn't hurt, and partly to give himself some comfort, he slid open the cage door; it opened smoothly, and then he reached inside to gently take out the kitten from its bedding. It was definitely larger than the very first time Snake had seen it, and in a couple of weeks, it probably couldn't really be a 'kitten' anymore.

How time flew!

The little creature whimpered softly as it was taken away from the soft bedding. But the mercenary took it in his strong, large hands and stroked its coat, fingers caressing the scruff ever so gently, and the kitten settled down. It blinked a few times and slowly opened its wide, blue eyes, staring up at the man who would now be its owner.

"It's just you and me now," Snake murmured sadly to the grey kitten, who mewled and nuzzled into his chest. It was an act that was exactly like what Luigi had done so many times before - and the kitten's blue eyes bore a startling resemblance to the plumber's own ones - and he had to restrain himself, instead settling for clutching the kitten tighter in his arms. It folded its paws over its nose and curled up further into the warmth, not understanding what was going on. It didn't know that it was going to leave the hotel with him, nor did it know that Snake would now be his permanent owner - it was all just another adventure in an already-busy life for the innocent, small kitten.

Snake raised his head wearily and looked around. The lounge was mostly empty now; the second-to-last batch of Smashers had already filed out of the doors, eager to get back to their own worlds. At least it meant that he would be leaving in less than ten minutes. He really couldn't stand being here any longer. He buried his hand in the silky coat of his kitten, being uncharacteristically gentle - the past few months had taught him not to be so rough when he wasn't on a mission.

How long had it been since Luigi had gone? Ten minutes? Half an hour? It hardly seemed to matter. To Snake, it simply felt as if he had been waiting his whole _lifetime_ in this lounge since Luigi had gone back to his own world. Well, at least it was almost time for him to leave. He picked up his bag absent-mindedly, slung the strap over his shoulder without really looking at it, and then gently placed his kitten back in the cage. He vaguely heard Master Hand announcing his name, along with Sonic's, and thanking them one last time for participating in the tournament.

He really should come to the next tournament. Luigi was almost definitely going to be there. But if he wasn't... and how long would it be before another was announced? A year? Two years? Luigi had said that the very first tournament came along when he was only a year into his life in the Mushroom Kingdom - so it was at an interval of two-or-so years. A long time to be waiting.

But he couldn't contemplate that now. He sighed and picked up the cage, walking out of the now-empty lounge and down the corridor to the portal room. As luck would have it, he was due in room C8. Where Luigi had left. The Hammer Bro looked up as he fiddled with something.

"You're here, good. I'm fixing your portal now."

Snake nodded. "Thanks. I'd like to go home and rest."

"You ready then, I suppose?" the Hammer Bro asked. "... but it'll still take a while to prepare your portal. Your world is further away than the others-" he chuckled. "-but not as far away as Sonic the Hedgehog's. It's a good thing that he's fast... make up for all the time he lost while waiting to go home..."

"Yeah," Snake replied blankly. "shame we all have to leave, though."

The Hammer Bro nodded sympathetically. "True, true. It was fun having all of you around. To think I'm going back to that dreary life where I get stomped on by Bowser every day..." he trailed off, pointing at the mercenary's bag. "you've got something sticking out there. Your bag unzipped or something?"

"Hmm?" Snake looked around. Sure enough, there was a kind of brown package sticking out from his bag, the zipper on the front partly undone - but was it even his? It was wedged in too firmly to have fallen into his bag by accident, but he didn't recognize it at all. "can I sit down for a few minutes?"

"Feel free."

Snake pulled down his bag and sat down on one of the chairs, pulling the package free. It was wrapped in brown paper, he noticed, and it wasn't a large one - only slightly bigger than the palm of his hand - and was fairly light. Wary, he pressed down gently on the surface with his finger, searching for any suspicious lumps or metalic components in case it was wired up to something. There were none - the only lumpy thing in there felt rather soft, softer than plastic explosives or his malleable C4. He withdrew his hand and looked hard at the package again.

His kitten watched him from its cage, mewing softly for attention.

"Easy now," he muttered absent-mindedly, and turned the package over. There was something written on it - it merely said '_To Snake'_. There was no name written except for his own, but he recognized the handwriting. He stared hard at the writing, hardly daring to breathe; the younger Mario brother still had few tricks up his sleeve, didn't he, even though he was ever so far away from him now?

Snake looked up - the Hammer Bro was still busy. There would be enough time to look into the contents right now - it wasn't large enough to contain a large note or an item. He carefully peeled off the brown paper and let the contents drop out onto his lap - a piece of paper, two photos (lying facedown) and a bundle of cotton wrapped around something. He reached for the paper first - a few lines were written on it - and began to read, his fingers trembling slightly.

_Dave,_

_I bet you thought this was a bomb. Nah - I'd never do that. I'm just enclosing those photos so that you won't forget what I look like. It happens so very often when you're apart from someone else for a time, don't you think? That, and just to remind you of that picnic. Falcon gave me my own copy - bless him. I'm going to treasure it forever. There'll be one more photo on that table in the mansion soon. _

_Look inside the cotton bundle, It's my last one, and I wanted you to have it. Good times, no?_

_You made me so happy, during our stay in this hotel. You made me feel happier than I've been for years. I owe it all to you. I won't hide anymore. I'm not going to cry anymore. And... I'll miss you a lot. You've grown in me so much._

_I love you, Dave, and ciao_. _Write to me._

_Luigi._

Snake said nothing; he was feeling too stunned and too confused to react. He kept his face carefully neutral (being a soldier, he was naturally experienced in hiding his emotions) as he placed down the note, and looked at the two photos. The instant he did, even he couldn't stop his eyes widening.

There was the photo that Falcon had taken at the picnic; the one of him and Luigi embracing in a friendly hug, smiling and both making a victory sign at the camera. He hadn't thought about it since that day - but the racer had been right, the picture was beautiful. They both looked quite ruffled as a result of Snake's temporary madness; but what struck the mercenary most was that he could see himself smiling _brightly_ without a care in the world in that photo. Snake didn't recall ever having such an expression on his face before. And unbeknownest to him at the time, the younger Mario brother had actually been winking at the camera. It added a boyish, cheeky touch that the mercenary couldn't help but grin at.

The other photo was of Luigi, sitting on a sunlit table by himself - this was unusual, as all the photos that Snake had seen of Luigi featured somebody else with him (or Mr. L by himself, of course). And he hadn't looked very cheerful ever since he'd grown up. But this Luigi looked genuinely _happy_; he wasn't grinning, just smiling very slightly, but there was a soft quality in his expression that was neither sad nor melancholy. His eyes were softened and bright, his posture relaxed, and Snake (quite frankly) hadn't seen the younger Mario brother looking so calm and sweet. It was quite endearing. And it was, indeed, wonderful to know that he was the one had restored Luigi's happiness.

Where was Luigi now, he wondered as he looked at the photos. Was he back in his cottage and sleeping? Or was he unpacking all his souvenirs and memoirs from the tournament, smiling and brushing his hand over the ornaments carefully as he recalled fond memories? Had he framed the photo of Snake and himself already?

Snake put down the photos, picked up the bundle and began to unwrap the cotton from around it. He didn't quite know what he was expecting, but he did so nonetheless - and when the object finally fell out onto his palm, he looked at it for a long time.

"Your portal's ready," the Hammer Bro called, but Snake hardly even heard him. He was too busy staring at this one little object, reminding him of the very first present that the green-clad plumber had given him.

It was a 1-UP mushroom, glowing softly in his palm.

"Hello? Your portal... it's ready..." the voice called again. This shook him out of his trance, and he hurriedly packed the note and photos away, tucking them carefully in his bag. But he kept the 1-UP in his palm, feeling as if he were dreaming - was this actually happening?

"There you are..." the Hammer Bro muttered, but then he paused, gazing at the mercenary. "that green plumber who was in before - Luigi - he a friend of yours, I suppose?"

"Yeah," Snake managed to say. "a very good friend of mine. Best friend, I daresay," suddenly, and without quite knowing why, he let a chuckle. "and it'll stay that way."

"Glad to hear that. You ready, then?"

_Someday... we'll see each other again... right?_

The mercenary closed his eyes, letting one solitary tear trickle down his cheek; but he was smiling, truly smiling. He stood up and faced the portal, his inquisitive grey kit mewing in the handheld cage; he looked down at the kitten and smiled again.

"I'm ready," he said quietly. The Hammer Bro gestured towards the portal, and he walked towards it without fear; he was aware how normal he looked now, just like any other man. With the kitten in the cage, and a bag on his shoulders, he could have been a traveller who'd just come back from a jaunt across the country, or a man returning from the vet. No one would ever know that he was actually a mercenary who had spent more than half a year in a world light years away and had seen unbeliveable things. He looked perfectly ordinary.

But then, at the moment - with Luigi's one final gift in his hands - he felt more special and happy than ever.

He reached the portal, closed his eyes and stepped right through - kaleidoscope colours danced behind his eyelids for a short amount of time, and he felt warm all over. It was a tremendously bizarre, yet wonderful experience that lasted for a too-short period of time. All around him, odd sounds could be heard, first faint and quiet but steadily growing louder - cars, people talking, all the things he hadn't heard for months. He breathed in softly, once-familiar scents washing over him-

-then he was home.


	38. Epilogue: Lui si chiama

**Author's Note:** Yep. It's finally here - the long-awaited epilogue of 'Within the Cardboard Box'. I was thinking I would never get this finished, but finish it I did. And my God, I'm actually happy with how this turned out. '_Lui si chiama..._' is Italian for '_his name is.._.'; I thought it fitted well with the idea of Snake being 'David'.

So this is fast-forward to a few months later... Luigi's back in the Mushroom Kingdom. What happens next? Read it and you'll see. I can't believe how much of this sounds like innuendo/happily married life. Tee-hee. I wrote most of this listening to a rather violent song otherwise known as 'La Marseillaise', the French National Anthem. The melody's kind of uplifting, you've got to admit that. And my French oral exam is coming soon, although I have done no revision. _Help_! x.x

'Within the Cardboard Box' is officially over... for now. I may do a short story collection featuring ideas that didn't make it in the future... but who knows?

But I'm so glad that WtCB developed from a simple, plotless collection of stories into something else. After eight months, I've written something that readers liked, pleased me and has been a great practice to my writing skills as well. I would like to thank all my reviewers - Umbreon Mastah, Nintendo Mania, Dark Enchanter, Luigi Rules 512, dArkliTe-sPirit, Raz2b, and Tasogare Asa amongst them - thank you for reading this story of mine to the very end (or even a few select chapters), and constantly taking the time to review. I couldn't have done it without you. You all constantly inspired me and kept me going. Thank you very much.

-Solitary Shadow-

* * *

_7 months later_

"Just a little more. We're almost there."

The beautiful ginger cat in the man's arms crooned and purred at the words, leaning into the warmth of a gentle hand. The man in question was none other than the younger brother of the famous superstar of the Mushroom Kingdom; his name was Luigi Mario, the shy, withdrawn yet wonderfully affectionate plumber in green. He chuckled as the playful cat in his arms dabbed at his mustache with a little paw, rubbing the paw pads against his cheek.

"All right, all right, have it your way!" He laughed jovially, skipping lightly over to a fountain and settling down. He let the cat down from his arms, and it perched neatly on the stone edge of the fountain, curiously gazing into the crystal-clear water yet never venturing inside. It settled for rubbing his head against the green-clad plumber's arm and mewing happily. Luigi smiled and ran his finger behind the cat's ears, feeling the wonderfully soft fur beneath his fingertips. The feline mewled and twitched its flattened ears in response.

"Look at you," Luigi said happily. "you've grown into a fine cat. Master Hand and Crazy Hand would have been so glad to see you all grown up."

The cat nuzzled into Luigi's shoulder.

"I wonder if you think about your siblings?" A chirp. "you do? Do you miss them? I wonder if you were scared to leave them behind when you first came to live with me. I mean, it _was_ quite a sudden decision from Crazy Hand's part. But then, without him, I don't suppose that I would have ever seen you again."

"I do wish I could be back there again, though."

The cat quietly settled down on the green-clad plumber's lap, swishing its tail around his knees. Luigi sighed and rested one hand against its silky coat, burying his hand in the warmth.

The wind whistled past the younger Mario brother's cheek, and he shivered ever so slightly. "It's cold here. I bet you aren't, though, what with your fur..." his tabby cat paid no heed to his talking and began to groom a paw gingerly. "do you think about your siblings all the time? _I_ do," he said with a light chuckle. "having an older brother adds on to extra responsibilities. I have to keep going over and check if Mario's alright. It's fine, but I do wish I had some more friends over here. Hey, don't do that," the cat was chewing on the hem of his shirt. "it was cleaned just yesterday, you know."

But Luigi wasn't cross; he gently pulled his cat free, and set it down again on his lap.

"I miss them, you know..." he whispered. "Falcon... Olimar... Meta... Jigglypuff... and I miss _him_ the most of all. I wonder what he's doing now."

A mew.

"You know?" Luigi played along, tickling the cat behind its ears and smiling as it squealed ever so softly. "come on then, tell me."

Another mew sounded.

"Hmm. Fine, keep it to yourself," the green-clad plumber pretended to be cross, and purposefully turned his head away from the ginger feline. "trust you to be teasing. I figured you'd know... he's looking after one of your brothers now. I wonder if cats like you have sibling bonds - I know me and Mario do. I can feel his presence from miles away." he absent-mindedly patted its back as he spoke, lost in thought. "I wonder if you can sense your brother... and tell me where he is..."

The wind had settled down; the sky above was darkening slightly. Luigi looked at his watch; four o'clock. It was still kind of warm outside, but he knew it wouldn't stay that way for a long while. It was August now, the end of summer - soon, the leaves on the trees would flood with colour and part from the branches, paving the streets with red and yellow. He sighed softly, eyes misty as he recalled memories from months ago; he had returned from the tournament way back in January, and now the seasons were changing again.

"I wonder if he thinks of me?" he wondered out aloud. "I think about him every day... I don't want him to forget me..."

But the cat on his lap remained oblivious, and merely looked up, cocking its head slightly as if to wonder why they weren't heading back home. It was almost feeding time.

"Where is he, Alessia? Where is he?" Luigi whispered softly into the feline's ear, tickling the fur. The cat mewed and rolled over, inviting the younger Mario brother to tickle her belly.

"_Mi manchi, David... dove sei_?"

* * *

"Here we are," Luigi murmured softly as the door shut with a click behind him. He put the latch on and locked the door again, just for safety; his cat rubbed against his leg, purring. When he picked her up gently, she butted his side with her head, pleading for her feed. "just wait a little while, Alessia... I'll get you some food..."

He stooped down and picked up the heap of letters that had arrived during his absence; he didn't look at them just yet, and merely gathered them up under one arm as he headed for the living room. He placed the letters down on the table, and then went to the kitchen, opening up a small tin of cat food; Alessia watched as he did all of this, sitting obediently on the floor, tail swishing in anticipation. When the food was poured onto the feeding bowl, and set down on the ground by the green-clad plumber, the feline leaped to it hungrily and began eating, licking the edges of the bowl ever so daintily.

"Cute..." Luigi laughed, and patted his cat on the back before he left her in peace. He switched on the cooker and put the kettle on, first tapping it lightly on the side to determine how much water was in there; he then poured a little coffee mix into his favourite green mug, put two teaspoonfuls of sugar for good measure and waited for the water to boil.

The kettle began to whistle as the water inside reached boiling temperatures and pearly steam gushed out of the spout; he turned the heat off and poured the water into the mix, smiling as a rich, wholesome scent wafted from the mug. Luigi decided to treat himself a little and poured a little milk into the mug, watching as the dark coffee turned a creamy brown colour. He did like his coffee smooth.

Having done so, he walked into the living room and sat down on the couch, putting his feet up and sighing as he nestled into the soft, squashy furniture. Luigi closed his eyes and took a sip out of his mug, letting a content smile spread across his face as he felt the warmth travel around his body; it was times like this that he wished that he could purr like Alessia could.

Luigi stayed in that position for a long time, only bringing his mug to his lips now and then, savouring each sip - he didn't open his eyes or react even when Alessia finished her dinner and curled up next to him. The green-clad plumber only roused himself from his position when he was certain that he was well and truly warmed up.

"Okay, then, what's all this about?" he asked himself as he set down the mug and picked up the letters. They were mostly advertisements and junk mail; two were letters from his fans (which made him smile) one consisted of his electricity bill and another one was from Princess Peach. He read the contents of the letter carefully; the princess had invited Mario and Luigi to a garden party the Wednesday after this one. She had handwritten the invitation (nice of her, he thought wryly) detailing who was coming, and what would happen, and wouldn't he and Mario want to stay the night in her castle?

He set that letter aside. He would think about it later. The last letter was clad in a brown envelope, the address written in a rather bold, swirly handwriting; as soon as the younger Mario brother saw the writing, he grinned wide. It was about time one of _those_ arrived.

Alessia purred next to him, rolling around on the couch and begging for attention. He stroked her absent-mindedly, trying to open the envelope with one hand; eventually he succeeded in doing so, and then reached for the letter within, letting himself take in the feel of the writing paper. The paper was nothing like the ones from his world; he knew that this letter was from a completely different universe, light years away from his own. This paper felt quite soft and thin, compared to the slightly more coarse paper used in the Mushroom Kingdom. It wasn't the first time he had received a letter from this particular person, but he always had to marvel at the fact that this was actually _possible_ every time one turned up on his doorstep.

"Come here, love," he called softly to his cat, and she obediently trotted to him, curling up gently on his lap. The green-clad plumber finally unfolded the paper and began to read:

_Dear Luigi,_

_Strange, isn't it? I wrote to you last week, and I'm longing to hear from you after receiving your reply just three days ago. Perhaps I'm more needier than I thought._

_How are you doing? It's all fine over here. No missions coming through for me, but that's perfectly all right - it simply means I don't have to sacrifice what's left of my sanity. I doubt I have a lot left, I've wasted too much of it in the past years. And I'm not even forty years old; madness, wouldn't you agree? _

_I hope Alessia's doing fine. I received that photo of her you sent last week, and you were right, she's one of the most beautiful cats I've seen. I should send you one of Nero - he's still shy and quiet as ever, but wonderfully affectionate. He's taken to nibbling my finger when he's feeling happy. A bad habit, I know Dr. Mario would say... but as much as I would like to deny it, it's quite cute._

_I'm in good health and so's Nero. He kept on choking on hairballs, though. The poor thing. I've taken him to the vet - and ever since that visit, he's been a lot more happier_

_Life is quiet in this world. Almost too quiet. But it's true that I was originally a retired soldier, only brought to service when there was no other alternative, so it must be logical to think that there isn't much left for me now. I may be young compared to some veterans out there, but God, I've had enough adventures for a lifetime._

_Where was I? Oh yes, about my life. Yes, it's a quiet calm life I'm leading now, and have been for months, and I'm happy with it. Yet it's lacking a certain je ne sais quoi; I believe that the lack of the Smashers' presence - especially yours - is having that effect on me. After not having seen you for seven months... ah, I must admit that I do miss you sorely. I long to have you close. I remember how you used to want hugs from people and would come to me every time you needed one - I always think of the times we spent together in that box, playing chess, scaring Falco and goodness knows what else besides. Those were the days, don't you agree?_

"I certainly do." Luigi said out aloud, smiling. "I really miss that box."

_It struck me that it was your birthday on the eighteenth. I wish I could have celebrated it with you, just like I did back in the hotel last year. I can't believe it's been that long already. We said goodbye in the middle of winter, and now summer is dying. I want to see you again. Reading your words, written in your very own handwriting, comforts me a little, but it's not quite the same._

_Hopefully that will change soon._

_I'm sending something over to you for your birthday gift, Luigi. On the evening of the twenty-sixth, from around five o'clock or so, I'd recommend that you keep watch for that something. It's not just a simple delivery - it's coming over to your house as soon it arrives at your world - so keep an eye out for it. It'll deliver itself, you'll see._

_I hope you aren't surprised with what comes with your gift, though. I suppose you want the details? Well, ah-ah, I'm not telling. _

_It's getting dark over here. Otacon's blaring his music through his speakers next door. God, I have no idea what he's up to right now. Looks like it's another sleepless night for me, then - when he's like that, there's no stopping him. Poor Nero's all wound up too, he keeps on scratching at the walls. I've shut the bedroom door and put him in his bed._

_Keep yourself in good health, Luigi. And don't you worry too much about me. _

_David_

Luigi tilted his head to the side; not only was this letter shorter than any other he'd received in the past months, it was also extremely confusing. How could a parcel deliver itself and how could the mercenary be so sure of the dates? According to the letter, that meant that the present would arrive that very evening. Although he was both dubious and perplexed, Luigi figured that it wouldn't hurt if he kept watch. It was ten to five now, so he could wait outside on the front lawn - he could sit on his favourite garden chair and enjoy a nice book before it grew too dark to see anything.

"Stay here, Alessia." he whispered to his cat as he placed her down; she yawned and looked at him, her blue eyes meeting his, silently inquiring where he was going. When he stood up, she followed suit, gazing at her owner curiously. "stay here. I'm just going outside for a while, okay?"

Luigi tickled her underneath the chin until she collapsed on the couch playfully and curled her tail around the cushions; he left a few cat toys out on the floor so that she could amuse herself if bored, and then quietly went out.

"_Ti penso sempre, David_..." Luigi whispered as he wrapped a thick scarf around himself. "I don't know what you're sending, but I'll treasure it for ever," he chuckled to himself. "... well, unless it's food. I doubt that, but still, you being you..."

When he opened the door, he found that the temperature had dropped slightly. It was still warm outside, but definitely cooler than before. He darted inside, grabbed a book he had been reading, and closed the door behind him as he sat down on his chair on the front lawn. The chair creaked slightly as he settled down, being old and weathered - but he found it homely. He leaned back and opened the book, searching for his bookmark - when he did find it, however, it fluttered free of his grasp down to the earth below. Luigi bent down to grasp the bookmark again, knowing that the flimsy material was too weak to withstand the breeze; he tucked it right at the back of the book, where the heavy pages would hold it still.

But as soon as he thought he'd gotten himself sorted, he found that he couldn't concentrate.

What had the mercenary meant by the parcel delivering itself? He _still_ couldn't figure it out. If that was so, shouldn't he be really concentrating on the road, instead of the book? He got through about five words before he sighed in frustration and set the book down on the small wooden table near the chair. Luigi leaned back and looked towards the horizon, his eyes sweeping the distance for any sign of life. Excepting a few little birds, there was none.

It was only that moment that really reminded Luigi of how _isolated_ he really was. A forest surrounded his house on three sides, and the only way free had nobody living there for a mile or so. There was a small town nearby, one that could be reached in fifteen minutes by foot, that had a few shops and an inn or two; but even that was separated from his house by a small hill. When he looked straight ahead, the hill was the first thing he saw - it wasn't a large one, and only took a couple of minutes to climb fully, but the fact that it was there lent a certain quality to his cottage that wasn't easy to determine. Although it required almost no effort to climb, its presence served to isolate him from everyone else.

Then the green-clad plumber's eyes widened.

"... S-Snake?" Luigi whispered as he stood up quickly from the chair. Sure enough, a tall, well-built figure was heading up the hill towards him; he held a kind of box with a handle in one hand, dragging a suitcase in another and yet another bag slung on his shoulders. His face was very, very familiar - the man stopped for a while and swept his gaze all over the horizon, his eyes very bright and searching. But then they rested on Luigi; and as soon as the man noticed, a wide smile made its way onto his face.

"Snake? Oh God, Snake! _Snake_!" Luigi cried, almost kicking over the chair in his excitement and running full speed towards the tall man. The man quickly put down the box and suitcase, sprinting down the hill towards Luigi; they ran into each other about halfway up the slope, throwing their arms around each other in sheer joy. The green-clad plumber was only half aware that he was shouting and that Snake was spinning him around - before their legs both gave way and they tumbled down onto the ground, still entangled in each other's arms.

The mercenary hit the ground, pinned down underneath the young man, but he hardly felt it. He lay back on the earth and grinned up at the plumber, ruffling his hair playfully just the way he used to, squeezing him tightly. "I take it that you're glad to see me, Luigi?" he murmured gently, patting his shoulders; he sat up slightly as he felt something damp seeping into his shirt. "hey, are you crying?"

"Oh, Snake..." Luigi sobbed, burying his face into the other's chest. "... I can't... _believe_ it. I _can't_. Tell me I'm not dreaming!"

Snake smiled and cradled the other man gently, shushing him. He brushed the bangs of hair away from Luigi's face and smiled into the younger Mario's brother's sapphire blue eyes.

"If you're dreaming, it must be a pretty good dream, don't you think?" he murmured, hugging the other man close.

Luigi laughed through his tears, nuzzling into the other's chest and holding him tight as if he would never let go. "It's really you! _How_ did you come here? Did you arrange it with Master Hand?"

Snake nodded. "I requested the portal to your world be opened along with mine - I planned it for a whole month before it went ahead. And God knows, I'm just a retired soldier. I have a lot of time on my hands. That's why I could get this done. I left only yesterday, you know."

"How was Master Hand and Crazy Hand doing?"

"I've only seen Master Hand. He seemed pleased to see me travelling by-" a sudden rattle came from above, where he'd left his belongings. Luigi rolled off the mercenary and looked up curiously as the other got up and dusted himself off, walking back up towards his luggage. "-that'll be Nero. I brought him over. Couldn't leave him."

"Nero's here too?"

"He missed you two a lot," Snake smiled, and then bent down to open the cage door. Slowly, a sleek, grey-furred feline crept out from the cage, looking around nervously at the unfamiliar surroundings with his blue eyes; he looked up at the mercenary, than at the green-clad plumber. He briefly raised his nose to sniff at the air, his paws firmly planted on the ground, seemingly uneasy and nervous.

Luigi bent down and gave the cat his hand. "Hey, Nero... do you remember me? It's me, Luigi."

The grey cat sniffed his hand for a second, before he recognized the scent of the green-clad plumber and he pounced. Mewing happily, Nero jumped up to the younger Mario brother's arms and cuddled up to him, rubbing his head against the man's chest. Luigi was pleasantly surprised; he began to stroke the grey feline softly on the back, his voice soft and coaxing.

"Master Hand was like that as well," Snake commented, smiling. "a beauty, isn't he?"

"His fur's so soft... Snake, he's _beautiful_."

The mercenary laughed. "Glad to hear I've done a good job with kitten-raising, then! Let's just hope Alessia recognizes him. And by the way..." he fumbled around in his pockets and brought out a small box, giving the younger Mario brother said item. "... happy birthday, Luigi."

"Oh, Snake-" Luigi exclaimed as he opened the box; nestled inside were two cufflinks, with a solid silver base and in the shape of a 1-UP mushroom - but with a blue cap instead of green. The cufflinks were adorned in sapphire to give such a colour; and yet it was still light and subtle. Luigi took one out, admiring the smoothly cut edges and the way they glittered in the last of the sunlight. "how did you manage to get this done?"

The mercenary laughed good-heartedly. "Otacon's invested in jewel-cutting. I had this custom-made from him and another jeweller - you like it?" the other nodded happily. "glad to hear that. You did mention that you now need to wear suits a lot more often, now that you've finished three Smash Brothers tournaments and saved the princess again... formal occasions and all..."

"This reminds me of Super Shrooms," Luigi was still admiring the cufflinks. "they were very potent healing items - and they were blue-capped as well. Brings back fond memories. Oh, thank you, Snake..."

"I had it made of sapphire to match your eyes. Only the best for my 'husband', no?"

The green-clad plumber blushed and chuckled, replacing the cufflinks and closing the box; but he still held it with his two hands, almost reverent. "These must have cost you a lot."

"It didn't, really. An average women's necklace is twice as expensive as those, at least in my world. That's saying something," Snake laughed as he rummaged in his bag. "and I've also got you something for casual occasions."

Luigi was handed a small bundle; he was flustered about receiving so many presents from the mercenary, and politely tried to decline, but the other wouldn't accept his refusals. He opened it up - and then laughed.

Inside were two pairs of long striped socks, one red and one green, rolled up neatly.

"They're so sweet," he giggled as he unrolled one and examined it. They were his favourite types of socks, all right - just thick enough to keep his legs warm, and soft and comfortable enough so that he could lounge about in them all day long. "I should have expected it from you, shouldn't I?"

The mercenary chuckled without giving a reply, patted the other's head and looked towards the horizon.

"It's getting dark."

"You'd better come inside with me. The temperature's going to drop any minute soon."

"Well... of course, if you insist..." Snake suddenly looked rather anxious. "... would you mind if I stayed here for a couple of nights? You see, I've planned to make a reservation in an inn close by - I'm staying for quite a _long_ time-"

"Oh no, don't do that," Luigi exclaimed quickly. "you're welcome to stay here as long as you want! I'd love company, and besides, now that you're here - wouldn't you want to stay with someone you know well?"

Snake hesitated. "I... well..."

"I don't want to sound selfish, but I really missed you, you know..." the green-clad plumber put his arms around the other, hugging him tight. "don't leave me."

The mercenary laughed in a rather awkward manner, scratching his head. "It's not that easy, Luigi... I'm staying for more than a month," the younger Mario brother looked up, startled. "I'm staying for at least three, maybe _more_ if everything goes well... and I don't want to burden you. It's not as easy as it sounds to have a complete stranger occupying a room in your house for more than a week. And there's Nero as well."

"Listen," Luigi was smiling softly at him, and Snake fell silent. "I've taken care of numerous pets before this. Back in Brooklyn, we had three dogs around barking the house down when we were little. Two cats? Not a problem for me. Compared to the horrible stuff we have to wade through _every time_ Princess Peach is kidnapped - and keep in mind I've had to deal with it for _seven years_, let alone a few months - it's not a big deal at all. And I really want you to stay with me, Dave."

"Please?"

Luigi pouted lightly, his eyes pleading - the mercenary could never resist that look, and things certainly hadn't changed since January. He gazed at the other for a while, before shaking his head in defeat and sighing. "... All right... but if something goes wrong, though no fault of your own, I'll be moving right straight away."

"Nothing will go wrong," Luigi said softly, and then there was silence. The two slowly began walking back in the direction of the cottage, Nero trailing a few feet behind them. But when Luigi opened the gate, he darted inside to explore the new place; the green-clad plumber's own cat, Alessia, was sitting on the windowsill, having waited patiently for her owner's return. Nero saw her, and began pawing at the glass, mewing. Alessia looked over, curious - but not afraid.

"Hey," Snake murmured, breaking the silence. "remember when we first met?"

Luigi scratched his head. "... in Shadow Moses Island when I came over and ruined your lunch? I remember it clearly as anything."

"Remember when we fell asleep in the box together?" Snake asked, and grinned as he saw the younger Mario brother's face light up in fond memory.

"Of course I do," Luigi exclaimed. "why, look over here-" he pulled the mercenary over to a window, inviting him to peer inside. The interior was fairly spacious, with a large bed and shelves along the wall, a wardrobe in the corner and a small desk with an armchair on one side. "that's just the guest room. It's where you'll be staying, Snake. And look over by the right wall - remind you of something?"

Snake (still feeling startled from just how large his room would be) glanced over to the place where Luigi was pointing. What he saw made him laugh.

A large cardboard box sat on the floor, looking clean and free of dust; it was large enough to hold two people comfortably. Luigi had even taken the time to make the box look homely - the delivery stickers were still stuck on the top, and he had painted the Smash Brothers symbol on the box with the words 'Smash Bros' to match. He'd even carved two finger holes on the sides.

"It's kind of hard to forget that symbol. But I still used the Cardboard Box trophy for reference - you like it? I made it when I was feeling a little lonely."

"I _love_ you," Snake whispered, turning to the younger Mario brother. "I love you so much."

Luigi giggled and hugged him tight. "Love you too, Dave. Come on, let's go inside. You must be hungry. Pasta, garlic bread, granita and red wine fine for you?"

"Sounds absolutely delicious."

"Come in and settle down, Snake. Food will be ready soon. I daresay Nero and Alessia need to have their little reunion too," the younger Mario brother said softly as he held the door open for the mercenary. Snake whistled to Nero, who came running towards his owner immediately; he picked the grey cat up in his arms, and entered the cottage along with Luigi, shutting the door behind him.

* * *

Life couldn't get any happier at that moment for the younger Mario brother. Snake was back with him, and they were together in the cottage where they could have the kind of fun they had almost a full year before - and what was more, he was staying for a long time, and wasn't going anywhere. He wouldn't be leaving for a good amount of time. It seemed that Luigi would never experience such happiness in his life again when he'd left the Smash Brothers tournament - but now that the mercenary was back, the best part of his life was just beginning.

Well... unless...

"Oh my God, Luigi! The _sheets_! They have _eyes_!"

... but that's yet another story.


End file.
